TV REPORTS 6/14 WWE Raw: Mallory's "Virtual Time" Alt. Perspective Coverage
Jun 14, 2004 - 10:23:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Alt. Perspective Coverage
June 14, 2004
Live from Dayton, Ohio
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show
Happy Flag Day!
Raw was live tonight from the Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio. There will barely be time to wipe up the Bad Blood tonight before we have to hit the road for the next pay per view.
Quarter Hour 1
As the show opened, Eric Bischoff was alone in his office, awaiting Kane. He told Kane last night's match was one he could be proud of for the rest of his career. Kane wasn't interested in niceties, he wanted a rematch. Bischoff tried to appeal to a different side of Kane and called him a professional.
"Yeah, a professional," said Kane like a raging bull, then he proceeded to professionally destroy Bischoff's office.
Jim Ross was in the ring as he welcomed viewers to the show. He said exclusive footage of the Hell In a Cell match would air later in the show. Both Triple H and Shawn Michaels were present, and J.R. asked them to come down to the ring so that the audience could show their appreciation.
Sexy Boy was out first. He had his arm in a cast and a huge bandage across his forehead. He got a tremendous welcome from the crowd in Dayton.
Triple H came out next, moving gingerly. He was covered in his share of bandages, too, and had a black eye.
The two glared at each other as J.R. began the interview. He told them it was time for the hostilities to end. He respectfully asked them to shake hands to officially signify the end of the most storied rivalry in WWE history.
You could cut the tension with a knife. Finally the two moved their hands. Shawn extended his, and Triple H scratched his face. Then as Trips reached toward HBK's hand, Bischoff's music hit.
"Asshole," hollered the crowd.
Kane's pyro hit, putting an end to any Hallmark moment that might have been.
Kane put a big size 12 in Shawn's face, then walked toward Triple H, who began backing away. As Triple H scampered out of harm's way, Kane began to destroy Shawn Michaels. He tossed a chair into the ring, then picked up Michaels by the scruff of the neck and tossed him into the ring. He wedged Shawn's neck in the chair and stepped on it. Michaels was bleeding from the mouth. Kane laughed at the brutality of it all, then left.
Quarter Hour 2
Referees and medics came out to help as Michaels sputtered blood.
Returning from the commercial, Shawn Michaels was in bad shape and being stretchered out. Lawler thought he might be in shock. Michaels was on his way to one of those generic medical facilities and the camera went right along to capture every gory moment as he was placed in an ambulance.
During the commercial, the ambulance had sped off.
(1) Tag Team Match: Lita & Matt Hardy over Trish Stratus & Tyson Tomko. Trish and Lita started things off. Good, acrobatic action from the ladies. Tomko tagged in, and Lita got out of Dodge. Tomko's specialty seems to be clubbering (to borrow a Dustyism), and not much else. Lita with a near fall on Trish. Interference from Tomko, but Hardy sent him to the outside. Lita with a DDT on Trish for the pin and the win.
Lita and Matt smooched to celebrate their victory, as the announcers said Kane had left the building. (Much like Elvis.)
Bischoff kicked at the broken furnishings in his office. Triple H came in and said he hoped Shawn was going to be okay. (Uh huh, right.) Then Triple H got down to business--with Shawn out of the way, he should be the number one contender. Bischoff said he could have it under one condition. Next week it would be Triple H vs. Eugene. Trips smirked, as Bischoff told him to beat the holy hell out of his nephew.
The cast of Joe Schmo 2 was in the audience. Matt, the original Joe Schmo, introduced Todd Grisham to the cast members of the new show and a preview was shown of season two which starts tomorrow night. It looks like a cross between "Falcon Crest" and "ElimiDate."
Quarter Hour 4
In celebration of Flag Day, the next match was a Tag Team Flag Match.
(2) La Resistance (Sylvain Grenier & Row-bear Conway) over Hurricane & Rosey This is Flag Day in the U.S. and Hurricane and Rosey came out with big American flags, a la Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Decent back and forth action, but La Resistance cheated to win. As Grenier sang "Oh Canada," the crowd booed him out of the ring. (Why in the world did Row-bear pluck his eyebrows?)
Quarter Hour 5
Lita looked sad, and the camera panned back to show her holding an EPT pregnancy test. Guess now we know what Kane's "question" was.
Chris Jericho came out for the Highlight Reel. He introduced tonight's guests, Eugene and William Regal. Jericho said they had a lot in common--both were sexy beasts and both won last night. Eugene said he was a Jericho fan, and Jericho asked him his favorite Y2J moment. Eugene liked the one when Jericho peed in Regal's tea and Regal drank it. Then Eugene said he'd done the same thing last week. Regal looked like he wanted some mouthwash.
Eugene said he was looking forward to his match with Triple H next week. Jericho told Eugene that Triple didn't like Eugene or anyone else. He told Eugene the truth and Regal confirmed it.
Evolution's music hit and Eugene got very excited about seeing Triple H. Triple H introduced himself and the members of Evolution and said they were all Eugene's friends. The audience booed. Triple H had even brought Eugene presents--a Game-y hat and tee shirt, and a picture which he autographed. Eugene gave him a hug. Then Triple H asked Eugene to autograph an Evolution tee shirt for him. Then Triple H told Eugene that Jericho was telling him lies because he was jealous. William Regal was getting madder by the minute watching Triple H manipulate Eugene.
Eugene and Regal left the ring, and Jericho said he hoped Triple H was proud of himself. Jericho said he'd be celebrating next week when Eugene beat him, 1-2-3.
Quarter Hour 6
Stacey was looking for Lita in the locker room. She wanted to borrow her elbow pads. Lita confided that she was pregnant. Stacey was happy for her, thinking it was Matt's baby. Lita asked her not to say anything to anyone. Baby mama drama and paternity are always good for ratings.
(3) Gail Kim & Molly Holly over Nidia & Stacey Keibler. Nidia looked tremendous, tossing Kim around like a rag doll. Molly, her face hidden by this week's "hair," tagged in and put Stacey in a camel clutch. "The Rage of the Divas," J.R. called it. Stacey was getting double-teamed, then Kim wrenched Stacey's leg backwards. Kim stretched Stacey awkwardly (I thought the King was going to have a stroke) and Stacey tapped out.
No wonder Molly is always angry. Last year Lawler kept talking about her big backside. This year both he and J.R. make fun of her wigs.
Quarter Hour 7
Still shots were shown of last night's Hell in a Cell match.
J.R. and The King talked about the severe injury that Shawn Michaels had suffered at the hands of Kane.
(Quarter Hour 8)
(4) Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match: Chris Jericho & Edge & Chris Benoit over Ric Flair & Batista & Randy Orton (w/Triple H). This started in an orderly fashion, but eventually dissolved into a brawl.
No one had been eliminated, but the match had continued during the commercial. Order had finally been restored.
Flair and Benoit were chopping each other down like trees. Edge tagged in and Flair made the tag to Orton. Batista and Benoit faced off and Benoit got a spinebuster and some triple-teaming from Evolution.
Quarter Hour 9
No one had been eliminated as the show went into the third hour.
Jericho attempted to put Batista in the Walls of Jericho and suddenly bodies were flying everywhere. Edge speared Batista, and Benoit added a head butt and Jericho made the pin. Batista was eliminated. As Batista headed up the ramp, he got a chorus of "Nah nah nah, hey hey, good bye" from the crowd.
Orton had Y2J in a submission move, and the crowd was chanting for Jericho. Edge tagged in and speared Orton, then the two came off the top in a superplex. As Edge geared up for a spear, Triple H grabbed his leg and pulled him down.
On and on it went.
Jericho was fresh and feisty and had a near fall on Flair. Walls of Jericho on Flair, and Flair tapped. The ref didn't see it, of course, and instead saw Flair with an arm over Jericho, and he was eliminated.
Quarter Hour 10
Benoit and Orton were going at it in the ring with more chops. Then Benoit began a series of German suplexes on Flair.
Spear by Edge on Flair. RKO by Orton on Edge, who was eliminated next.
Crippler crossface by Benoit on Flair, and Flair tapped out.
That left Orton and Benoit to continue as the sole members of their respective teams.
Orton accidentally knocked the ref out. Triple H interfered and Benoit suplexed him. Benoit put Orton in a sharpshooter and the ref came to just in time to see Orton tapping out.
The winners--at long last--were Benoit, Edge and Chris Jericho.
I love feedback and you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.
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