Girls Gone wild PPV
March 13, 2003
Live from South Padre and Panama City
Report by Eric Weir, PWTorch.com reader

The show starts off with, of all people, The Coach from South Padre Island in Texas. He first introduces Stacy Keibler as his co-host and then the panel of celebrity judges. The judges are Test, some supermodel, Torrie Wilson (better looking than the supermodel,) Snoop Dog, and the CEO of GGW.

This is not a typical GGW show that simply shows random girls flashing the camera. This is more like a Miss America pageant as they are looking to crown Miss GGW 2003. Broadcasting live from Panama City Beach, Florida is Josh Matthews. 

After fifteen minutes a total of four girls have show their breasts. Not one of them was a contestant though.

The first round they simply introduce the girls and a judge asks them a question. Test's first question was "spit or swallow," while another girl was asked to perform oral sex on the microphone. 

The next part of the competition was evening wear. Test is hilarious in this segment as they gave him a small camera and called it the "Testicle Cam" and he was getting it in places that larger cameras could not fit.

One girl was asked "If you had to go down on a judge to help you win, which judge would it be?" The girl replied "The blonde in the pink top" referring to Torrie Wilson.

After the evening wear competition is over a Wrestlemania promo is aired.

Torrie Wilson is interviewed regarding her spread in Playboy. "I've always dreamed of being in Playboy, so this is a dream come true for me." It is a good thing her father isn't alive to hear that.

The Coach is surrounded by beautiful women and the only thing he can do is try to keep the show on pace. At times he doesn't even seem to be enjoying himself. Stacy, however, seems to be having the time of her life.

At this point Nidia comes out to have her contest with Torrie. She is wearing some shorts and a football jersey. She pulls up her shirt to reveal a bikini top and when she makes as if she is going to pull it down she scolds the audience and does reveal any more skin. At one point Stacy was yelling "Show your tits" to Nidia. Strange thing to hear.

Torrie comes out to a big round of applause and hands Stacy a drink and Stacy proceeds to do a body shot off of Torrie's cleavage. As Torrie is about to take off her top Nidia comes out of nowhere to attack Torrie with a chair. After some catfighting they are separated by security and Torrie sells it like she is legit hurt.

Best line of the night comes after a girl does a back handspring in a bikini and Snoop says "I want to see her do that tumbling with a (penis) in her mouth." Priceless.

At one point Stacy asks one of the contestants to show her breasts and the girl got this shocked look on her face and walked off the stage. Weird.

For the final round they decide to take a page out of Bischoff's book and play GGW Roulette. Test is the one that gets to spin the wheel. The first girl lands on "Balls in the mouth," and she has to stuff as many marshmellows into her mouth as possible. The second contestant tries to spin the wheel herself and Test got upset and yelled at her "Don't touch my wheel." Test seems to be drunk. The next girl got "Juggle water balloons," but Test didn't like that so he moved the wheel to "Phalic food fun." Coach, showing just how out of it he is, keeps saying "fay-lic." The girl has to stuff a large pickle in her mouth.

Stacy stays in rare form throughout this contest. She might be as drunk as Test. One girl has to put on a whipped cream bikini and Stacy says "now eat it off yourself."

The only virgin in the contest has the wheel stop on "Fake an Orgasm" and Coach says "I know you probably don't know what one is," to which Test replies "Why Coach, has she been with you?" Stacy then tells the girl to "Lift your skirt, come on."

After all of the contestants had their turn at the wheel the judges got together to pick the winner. The CEO of GGW asks twice where Torrie is forgetting the angle that played out and that she was carried off the stage only half conscious by security.

The winner receives twenty-five thousand dollars and thanks her boss because he is the best boss she ever had. She plugged the name of her company three times.

They close the show by bringing up a bunch of girls from the audience to participate in the worlds biggest flash. they only managed to get about 20 girls though.

The show ran under 90 minutes and was not worth twenty dollars. The mayor of Panama City must have scared someone because they only went to Josh Matthews about three times. Hearing wrestlers talk out of character is always interesting, but hearing Test and Stacy in this situation was something different altogether. Why the seemingly a-sexual Coach hosted the event and not the perverted Jerry Lawler is a mystery to me. 

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