WWE Smackdown/Velocity tapings
May 27, 2003
Pensacola, Fla.
Report by Paul Trampe, PWTorch.com correspondent

I apologize for these not being the most detailed results. The woman in front of me was intent on standing on her seat and waving her large signs around(including a 'Hi Mom' sign during the dark matches) so I wasn't able to get the best look at the matches.

Dark Matches

(1) Ultimo Dragon beat Crash.

(2) Kanyon & That guy with Evans on his tights beat David Flair & Jiminy Quick.

(3) Orlando Jordan beat Jamie Noble.

Velocity Matches

(1) Bill Demott beat Shannon Moore.

(2) A-Train beat Joey Dynamite.

John Cena cut a promo. Mixed reaction.

Matt Hardy v1.0 beat Funaki in a non-title match. Hardy won after two Twists of Fate. Te second one was just for taunting. Funaki was already down after the first.

Smackdown Tapings

(1) Nidia beat Torrie. Sable was guest ring announcer. Nidia won after working Torrie's leg for the match.

Mr. McMahon had his limo parked in a handicap spot as he was figured it wouldn't take long to expose Hogan. And who can't see where this is going?

Stephanie McMahon talked with the polygraph technician as well as the investigator in charge of questions for the benefit of the audience so they'd understand what was going on.

A video recapped the Los Guerreros (Eddie & Tajiri) vs. Team Angle match from last week.

Eddie and Tajiri discussed their upcoming rematch with Team Angle (just how many rematch clauses were there?) and Tajiri discussed Tajiri Heat before revealing he had a new set of wheels they'd take to the ring. Eddie asked where he got the wheels and Tajiri said that Los Guerreros lie, cheat, and steal.

(2) Los Tajirreros beat Team Hero via DQ. Los Tajirreros came to the ring in a pickup truck with fuzzy dice hanging off the windshield. The ref was constantly hassling Eddie about using the tag rope, so Eddie took it off the turnbuckle behind the ref's back and tied it to the top rope so he could move it up and down the ring. The finish came as Charlie Haas had Tajiri locked in the Haas of Pain. Eddie grabbed the hammer from the timekeeper and rang the bell, so Haas released the hold thinking he had won. Eddie then tried to hit Haas with a tag belt behind the ref's back, but Haas took the belt from Eddie. Eddie knocked Haas down, then threw himself to the mat. The ref turned around, saw Eddie laid out, and Haas holding the title belt and for the second week in a row, Team Hero lost to a DQ they had nothing to do with.

Polygraph segment. Vince brought out Mr. America, who said he was not Hulk Hogan. The Polygraph was conveniently amended to include dings and buzzes, so when Mr. America claimed to not be Hogan, it dinged to show he was being honest. Vince eventually got upset and claimed if Hogan could fool the polygraph, so could he. While strapped in to the polygraph, Mr. America questioned Mr. McMahon on his integrity and eventually on a run of questions about McMahon's possible perversions. Afterwards, McMahon shouted at Zach Gowen who was in the front row of the audience.

After a break, Mr. McMahon accosted Stephanie in her office and the implication by the end was that Stephanie rigged the polygraph and was sympathetic to Mr. America. Mr. McMahon ended the segment by saying that next week, there'd be a big change.

Sean O'Haire beat Chris Benoit. Finish came as Roddy Piper interfered, distracting Benoit, to the point Benoit locked Piper in the Crippler Crossface, so O'Haire could pick up the win.

Rey Mysterio promo backstage. Rey hypes his Cruiserweight Championship match next week and how it'll be on the West Coast, giving him a hometown advantage. He acknowledges a groin injury, but says it won't matter. Matt Hardy v1.0 interjects and after the usual bickering, Matt Hardy v1.0 kicks Mysterio in the groin. 

Ultimo Dragon promo video. Almost identical to the Rey Mysterio videos before he debuted, the video placed Ultimo Dragon masks in front of monochrome flashes of his WCW matches, ending with a Coming Soon teaser, not saying which show he's coming too soon.

(3) The Basham Brothers beat Spanky & Rikishi. Basham Brothers surprised Spanky for the win. Afterwards, Spanky and Rikishi danced.

Vince went outside to find his limo hooked up to a tow truck. He told a Lowly to tell the tow truck driver to tow him to the airport. He got in the limo only to have his window knocked on immediately by a cane handle. Tenacious Gowen rubbed in that parking in a handicap zone is illegal for him, and the implication was he was going to be towed to jail.

(4) The FBI beat Undertaker & Brock Lesnar. Before the match, Nunzio complained that he was too hurt from Undertaker's attack last week to compete, but he found a new partner to take his place. Out came The Big Show. Finish came as Big Show chokeslammed Brock Lesnar and got the pin. Lesnar seemed to have the wind knocked out of him as Taker seemed a bit concerned and Lesnar looked REALLY red after getting up.

After what had to be the show ending, Undertaker announced it was somebody's birthday, and they needed a Pensacola resident to help celebrate. Rikishi came out and they brought Frank, a ring crew guy, into the ring so the crowd could sing Happy Birthday to him. Everybody sang and then Brock grabbed the birthday cake. Before he let Frank taste it, he told him he had to put his finger in the cake and guess the flavor. Brock shoved the cake in his face and pushed him to the ground in the corner. Rikishi immediately stinkfaced him, schmearing the cake in.

***

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