TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 2/3: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Impact on Spike TV - "they" reveal, TNA World Title match
Feb 3, 2011 - 10:05:30 PM
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TNA Impact Results on Spike TV
February 3, 2011
Taped 1/31 in Orlando, Fla.
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
[Q1] This week's TNA Impact opened with a video package on last week's Impact when Scott Steiner returned to TNA and called out Fortune/Immortal. They showed clips of Robert Roode and James Storm from the tour in Europe telling Scott Steiner to go away. The opening video transitioned into focusing Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy. In London, Dixie Carter was asked about Feb. 3. She said she thinks some things are going to surprise people. This week's show title: "Expect the Unexpected."
Impact Zone: No intros. They cut right to the ring where Eric Bischoff was in the ring with Immortal and Fortune. Bischoff called out Scott Steiner. Cue up the siren to bring out Steiner in a formal suit. Steiner stood opposite Bischoff, who said they've known each other far too long. He offered Steiner a business deal. Bischoff said a lot has happened in the last week or ten days. He said he just found out that Dixie Carter, the judge, and her attorneys were successful in getting a continuance, therefore Hulk Hogan won't be here tonight. Jeff Hardy sold sheer disappointment. He said the good news, at least from their POV, is that despite Steiner tried to threaten them and shank them, there is no "they."
Bischoff name-dropped Kevin Nash. Bischoff told Nash he's too old. "Take the money. Get your new action figure. Dye your hair and ride off into the sunset. Kev's a smart guy. That's exactly what he did," Bischoff said. Bischoff said Sting isn't coming back and no one cares about Booker. Bischoff said Steiner is standing here surrounded by the future. "This is where the power lies," Bischoff said. He told Steiner to stop being a follower and be a man. "Grab your sac. C'mon, join us," he said. Bischoff was one sentence away from "This is where the big boys play." He offered Steiner his hand, but Steiner backed away and went looking for a mic.
Steiner: "That's my choice?" Bischoff said Door #1 is join Fortune or Door #2 is get his ass kicked. Steiner paused and asked for Door #3. He said that's him sticking his foot up Bischoff's ass. Steiner said he's known Bischoff a long time and he said to himself, "Damn, you're a real piece of s---." Steiner said nothing has changed. He said Bischoff doesn't know who "they" are because Steiner doesn't know him. Steiner said Bischoff should address him "yes sir, no sir." He said he's more of a man than any of the guys he has in the ring combined. Steiner offered Bischoff a choice: call him "sir" or he's going to snap Bischoff's neck.
Cue up Kurt Angle's theme music for an interruption. Angle and Crimson appeared on-stage. Angle said Steiner is right that Bischoff is a POS. Angle assured Bischoff that "they" are here. Steiner joined Angle and Crimson on the stage. He said it's real, it's damn real. Angle's music played and Bischoff looked to the other Fortune/Immortal members looking for answers. They had none.
Backstage behind the curtain: Jeff Hardy was upset with Eric Bischoff. He said Hulk Hogan was supposed to be here and he was supposed to get back his TNA Title. Bischoff said he has no control over Dixie's attorneys. He said they will get Hardy his title back. Flair wanted to know where Ric Flair is, though. Angle, Steiner, and Crimson then walked into their pow-wow. "They're here, they're here," Angle repeated.
Impact Zone: Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal were in the ring for a random tag match. Now for the random match generator: Gunner & Murphy as their opponents. Tenay said there has been a continuance on the legal issues involving Hogan and Carter. Jeff Hardy's attorneys must be involved.
1 -- SHANNON MOORE & JESSE NEAL vs. GUNNER & MURPHY
Neal was wearing what appeared to be board shorts or over-sized boxers. Gunner and Murphy worked him over, then Murphy lost control and Moore tagged in for Neal. Moore landed a moonsault on Murphy, but Gunner broke up a pin attempt. The heels naturally took each other out on accident, then Neal and Moore hit a combination neckbreaker for the win.
WINNERS: Neal & Moore at 3:28. Of all the matches to start the in-ring portion of the show on a heavily hyped episode, they picked this one? Classic bumbling heel loss that looked like a scene out of "The Chaperone." (*)
Backstage: Angle was talking to Steiner and Crimson. He asked if "they" have touched base yet. Crimson said it's a negative. Suddenly, Angle's phone rang. "Are we still good?" he asked the person on the other line before hanging up. He told them they need to go over the gameplan again.
Still to come: TNA World champion Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy. Up next: Behind the scenes on the Jarrett family in their home. Karen was alone when she was married to Kurt, but now she has someone who's good to her.
Announcers: The camera zoomed in on Tenay and Taz to talk more about the continuance on Dixie and Hogan's legal issues. They fed to Dallas, where Christy Hemme was standing in front of a "courthouse" earlier today. She said it's been continued to March 3. Back to Tenay, who said Mar. 3 must be a big day. Suddenly, Eric Young interrupted, still with the TNA World Title belt around his waist. Young said he saw who "they" are, but he can't say who it is. Young tried to give Tenay and Taz the spin on what to convey to the audience. He thought he was off the air.
The Jarretts video: They cut to a video on Karen giving a tour of their house in Tennessee. She made a sexual reference when they toured the bedroom. Into Jarrett's office they went. All of the kids barged in as Karen showed off her favorite picture: Jarrett cracking a guitar over Angle's head. One of Jeff's daughters said her favorite picture is Jeff standing with "Aunt Dixie." Jeff snapped on the kids and said don't ever mention her name again.
Backstage: They cut to Mr. Anderson in a darkened locker room addressing someone or the roving cameraman through the camera or off-camera. Or something. They're all over the place with how they're presenting backstage video segments. Anderson asked "Jeff" to share a word with him in the ring. Apparently he was addressing Jeff Hardy through the camera, but Immortal/Fortune was supposed to ignore Angle, Crimson, and Steiner sharing their plans on-camera in the previous segment.
Impact Zone: Bully Ray and The Pope were randomly in the ring when they returned from break. Ray said it feels so good to be with a partner he can depend on. He said it felt so good a few weeks ago when he bashed Brother Devon's head in. He said perhaps now Devon will realize he was Team 3D. And Devon was nothing more than his sidekick, his co-star, an absolute nobody. Ray said he got a new "brother," who is rougha and tougha than Devon. "Most importantly, you're not tough like Devon was," he said. Light chant for Devon that increased slightly. Pope said Devon is an afterthought. He dragged out a promo on "Smoe Joe" that they will meet right here in the ring at Against All Odds. Pope said they could have sat across the table, met in the parking lot, or sat at ringside to talk things over, but now Joe will have no place to run when they get in the ring together. He vowed to bring great vengeance on Joe, then expose him for being a Sloppy Joe. Taz wanted to know if they're supposed to have a match or a lecture. Pope said he has spoken.
Cue up Samoa Joe's music leading to Devon and Joe jogging to the ring. Referee Jackson James looked so confused. Pope bailed from the ring, but Okada, Joe's cameraman, was apparently so intimidating standing on top of the ramp that Pope found himself trapped. In the ring, Devon dumped Ray to the outside as Tenay plugged Street Fight rules for Devon vs. Ray at the PPV. Devon rocked Ray with right hand blows as Taz plugged their brawls in ECW. Ray went stumbling up the entrance ramp, but Devon clotheslined him. Refs and security eventually showed up trying to pry Devon off Ray, who was gasping for air. Ray eventually got up and was sucking wind while security kept Ray at bay. Suddenly, Ray spit water on some random people ringside. Ray ran away and Taz said that's Devon's sons. Classic TNA booking randomly introducing characters. Based on when Pope's family got involved in an angle, they'll turn on Devon at the PPV? Devon cursed Rey, then grabbed his sons to hug them. No tag match ever occurred.
Still to come: Knockouts "Taped Fist" match and the TNA World Title match.
Impact Zone: Max Buck was randomly on commentary back from break. Already in the ring were some random men. It looks like Doug Williams, who has dropped off from being TV champion, Jeremy Buck, and Jay Lethal.
2 -- JAY LETHAL vs. DOUG WILLIAMS vs. JEREMY BUCK -- #1 contender qualifying match
Williams was knocked to the outside early on, then Jeremy landed a moonsault off the ring apron. Lethal then took out Jeremy with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Lethal scored a roundhouse kick as the announcers and Jeremy basically talked about X Division wrestling being like a video game. Back in the ring, Doug and Lethal each scored a nearfall on Jeremy. Max suddenly discovered that his brother's shoe was untied, so he left the announce table to "check on his brother." In the ring, Jeremy took the brunt of a Tower of Doom spot. Jeremy rolled to the floor and Max checked on his brother while Lethal and Doug stalled. Robbie E. vs. Kendrick vs. Suicide will be the next qualifying match next week. Williams set up for the Rolling Chaos Theory suplex and had the pin on Lethal, but Max distracted the referee. Jeremy then popped Williams in the groin and pinned Lethal for the win.
WINNERS: Jeremy at 4:30. Just thrown out there leading to a clichéd finish. Not exactly a showcase of the X Division. (*)
Backstage: Borash was on the phone with "Melinda" while Styles, Kazarian, and Beer Money were talking to themselves in the background. Bischoff wanted to know where Ric Flair is. James Storm said the last time he saw him, Flair was drinking in London. Roode stepped up and said Angle is just playing head games. He said Immortal is the strongest faction in pro wrestling today and Bischoff can put that in the bank. He told Bischoff to relax. "We got it," they told him on the way out. Bischoff stopped Styles and told him to make sure they get the title. Styles told Bischoff to relax. He said he gets they haven't been on the same page lately, but it ends tonight. He said Fortune is not taking a backseat to anyone ever again and "we" are in the driver's seat. Bischoff sold Styles to drive home with the belt. He said they got this. Bischoff wasn't so sure. The verbiage was important in that segment.
Backstage: Sarita was talking about not really have a strategy for the taped fist match later tonight. She said she has a surprise for all of the Knockouts. Her cousin, Rosita, is going to be in the ring next week.
Video package from Last Week: Jeff Hardy was in Berlin at the O2 Arena. He vowed to get back his TNA World Title. They cut to Mr. Anderson signing autographs and talking about Hardy. Back to Hardy, who kept talking about rear-ends. He said he's still the baddest m'fer in TNA and that's how it's going to stay.
[Q5 -- second hour] Impact Zone: At the top of the hour, Mr. Anderson was shown holding the Jeff Hardy title belt on the stage. He stared at it with disgust then stomped to the ring apparently trying to be like "Stone Cold." Anderson took the mic and asked Jeff Hardy to grace them with his presence. Hardy slowly walked out in his dark lighting as Taz said the title match is not scheduled for right now, but later in the show. Hardy folded his arms and Anderson had to keep himself from laughing looking at Hardy's facepaint work this week.
Anderson asked for silence. He has a few questions. First, how many a-holes in the building tonight? He said there's one or two. Pause for a "We are a-holes" chant from the crowd. Second, how many creatures of the night in the building? Boos. Anderson said there's a couple. "Some aren't so sure," he said. Hardy wasn't impressed. Anderson with a quick Green Bay in the Super Bowl reference before saying they each had a dream to hold a major title. He said this - the Hardy title belt - sucks, but what it represents is key. Hardy said they don't do well with authority figures. He basically cut a promo on WWE management telling him how to look and act. Anderson did the Stone Cold "eh eh" line saying he wants this match one-on-one with Hardy - no run-ins, no shenanigans, A-hole vs. Enigma straight up.
Hardy waited out Anderson and said he admires Anderson talking a big game. "Shut up, please!" aside to the fans. Hardy said he used to be a little enigma who wanted to become World champion and said if he thinks he needs Immortal to beat Anderson, he's wrong. Hardy said he'll prove it tonight and they'll dedicate this match - pause for "prove it" chant. Hardy said they'll dedicate this match to his "creatures of the night" (he said sarcastically) and Anderson's a-holes. Another "We are a-holes" chant. "And, and, and, and, and may the best man win," he said. Hardy extended his hand and Anderson tentatively shook. "What's rightfully mine," Hardy finished over Anderson's music.
Backstage: Mickie James was shown taping up her fist for the match with Sarita. She said she's been in and won a few bar fights and she doesn't think things will be any different for Sarita tonight.
Jarretts video: Back to the Jarrett home where Jeff was cooking and talking about instilling values in the kids. Jeff asked the kids what they're thankful for while they were bowing their heads in prayer. The kids mumbled something about Jeff being their sunshine. Karen said she's thankful for the most wonderful husband in the whole world. Jeff said talent is everywhere in this house and he wants to see some signing and dancing. Karen wanted to her surprise. Now. "Oh gosh," Jeff said.
Impact Zone: Sarita came to the ring for the taped fist match. Harrrrdcore Country brought out Mickie James to face Sarita as the announcers questioned Mickie's concentration when she has a KO Title match at the PPV in ten days.
3 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. SARITA -- Taped Fist match
The action moved to the floor and Mickie sold a hand injury to keep the focus on the taped fist aspect of the contest. Sarita celebrated her advantage by dancing, then teased a closed fist shot, but decided to show mercy and execute a scoop slam. She continued to show mercy working over Mickie's left arm/shoulder. Mickie made her comeback, then landed a left hand hook. Sarita fell over like a tree in the woods and the ref called for the bell, declaring a KO. Post-match: Mickie sold her hand injury as a woman in a hoodie walked through the guardrail. It was Madison Rayne. She blindsided Mickie, then stood over her in the ring.
WINNER: Mickie via KO at 5:58. Fine match building toward Mickie getting a decisive win ahead of her PPV match against Madison, who is lined up to get her comeuppance. The stipulation didn't make the match look any different than a standard match, though. Just an arbitrary stipulation tacked on to make the match sound "unique." (*1/2)
Backstage: Jeff Hardy was in Eric Bischoff's office. Bischoff was stressed out over Angle's "they" deal. He said Mr. Anderson beat Hardy the first match - then Hardy cut him off and said Bischoff beat him. He said he doesn't want anyone from Immortal out there during his match tonight. Bischoff went back to being stressed out.
Last Week video: They focused on the European Tour and competing in some of TNA's largest-ever crowds. They showed Dixie Carter on the tour in the ring and on Sky News.
Jarretts video: Back to the Jarrett residence where Kurt Angle's son was in his underwear. The kids wanted to know what Jeff's surprise is. He said they'll find out first-thing in the morning. Group hug. Karen said she likes to call Jeff "Big Daddy." They focused on the material objects Jeff has provided her. She wants her surprise. Jeff went back to August 21, 2010 when they got married. He said he's going to one-up himself. Jarrett dropped down to one knee to propose marrying her again. He wants to renew their vows on Impact. "Oh, baby. I will. Oh, baby," she said. Jeff said they'll do it on March 3. Is the pattern to have a "big Impact" on the first Thursday of each month now?
Impact Zone: Mr. Anderson came out on-stage and asked for the mic drop. He proclaimed the TNA World Hvt. champion hails from --- Jeff Hardy suddenly attacked him from behind. The fight moved to the ringside area as Jackson James tried to restore order to set up the title match. Another referee, then another tried to separate them. They calmed down momentarily, then resumed their scrap ringside. Al Snow and Pat Kenney showed up to get their camera time finally separating champ and challenger. The crowd was so hot for the title match that ringside fans focused on Snow and chanted, "Head, head, head." Cut to break.
4 -- TNA World Hvt. champion MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY -- TNA World Title match
Immediately back from break, Anderson and Hardy were in the ring resuming their scrap. Tenay said the audience heard the opening bell to begin the title match, but the opening bell was edited off the broadcast. Anderson scored a nearfall 50 seconds in, then went back to work on Hardy, who decided to bail to the outside. Anderson followed out, but Hardy ran back in the ring and cut off Anderson before delivering a modified spinning neckbreaker as Anderson was trying to re-enter the ring through the ropes. Hardy then slowed down the pace and worked over Anderson.
Hardy cut off Anderson's initial comeback, then Hardy shot a double bird to the crowd, which was blurred out. Tenay described this as a "PPV quality main event" as Hardy went to the outside to pull Anderson crotch-first into the post. Anderson rolled to the outside selling the crotchal region, then Hardy landed a baseball slide kick through the ropes. On the outside, Hardy smashed Anderson head-first into the ring steps as Taz referenced Anderson's "concussion issue" from a few months ago.
Back in the ring, Hardy slapped on a reverse chinlock and Anderson started a rally clap to help him escape the hold. Double knock down, then they exchanged blows from their knees before coming to their feet to continue trading bombs. Anderson made his comeback and executed a spinning neckbreaker for a nearfall. This was followed by an exchange of finisher teases.
And the ref was bumped at 10:00. Hardy then hit the Twist of Hate, but there was no referee. Hardy made a cover, then Immortal ran to the ring. Fortune followed from behind as Matt Hardy dropped Anderson with the side effect. Fortune and Immortal celebrated as Jeff stood over Anderson's fallen body. Jeff helped Anderson up, then Styles feigned hitting Anderson. He paused, flashed the Fortune hand signal, and Fortune turned on Immortal. They cleared Matt Hardy, Gunner & Murphy, and Rob Terry, then Styles and Jeff were alone in the ring. Styles posed for the crowd, then dropped Jeff with the Styles Clash. The ref was rolled back into the ring and Anderson covered Jeff for the three count.
WINNER: Anderson at 12:08 to retain the TNA World Title. Basic singles match leading to TNA skipping ahead three months to Fortune's babyface turn after the "they" angle was re-written. (*3/4)
Post-match: Fortune slipped back into the ring as Immortal ranted and raved ringside. Anderson sold being exhausted while trying to put the pieces together of what just happened. Styles picked up Hardy's title belt and handed it over to Anderson. Tenay said Impact wasn't over and told the audience to come back for the conclusion.
Impact Zone: Back from break, the camera zoomed in on Styles as Tenay asked for an explanation. Styles told the audience to "throw it up," referring to Fortune. Immortal continued to act shocked ringside as Styles said he told Bischoff they weren't taking a backseat to anyone. He said Bischoff brought this on himself because this is Fortune and this is their home. Anderson continued to look like he was in a daze. Styles said they weren't talking about some other guys. "Them" is "us," he said.
Bischoff stomped out on-stage and called Styles names before saying he amounted to nothing. Matt Hardy, who was back to his Troy Polamalu hair, shouted "nothing, nothing!" behind Bischoff, who kept heaping insults on Styles and Fortune. Styles asked Bischoff what he's so upset about when they figured out his smoke & mirrors and did something about it. Styles screamed at Bischoff that he put a million dollar company out of business and he came here to try to do the same thing and it's not going to happen. Styles said it all started when Bischoff and Hogan came to TNA. Angle, Steiner, and Crimson were in the ring at this point. Angle was having a good laugh as Styles and Bischoff went back and forth. Styles said Bischoff hired guys who didn't deserve to be in the business to start with. Bischoff said Styles is only in the ring because of the hard work Immortal did. He said Jeff is more of a success than A.J. will be in his entire career.
[Q9 -- over-run] Styles went back to the "we built this company" promo, which Bischoff said is crap. He told Styles to mark a date on his calendar for March 3. Bischoff said the legal decision will be handed down and Hogan will get control of this company. He said they will put Fortune out of business when Hogan gets control. Styles asked Bischoff how he's going to do that when they take out Immortal one-by-one until he shoves his boot so far down Bischoff's throat that he'll be pissing out shoelaces. That concluded the exchange. Jeff, who looked like a clown with his facepaint smeared, leaned back while Bischoff stood behind Matt selling anger. Styles celebrated in the ring with Fortune, Crimson, Angle, and Steiner as his music played to close the show.
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