TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 5/12: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of big reveals, final PPV hype, battle royal main event
May 12, 2011 - 10:02:22 PM
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TNA Impact Results
May 12, 2011
Taped 5/3 in Orlando, Fla.
Aired on Spike TV
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
[Q1] This week's TNA Impact opened with a shot of Hulk Hogan walking around backstage with a pipe in-hand. Eric Bischoff walked up to Hogan, wanting to know what he was doing. Bischoff told him they can't beat their way out of The Network issues; they need to outthink them. Hogan reluctantly walked into a side office.
The show then went to an opening video package focused on the Jarretts-Angle issues and The Network issues.
Impact Zone: Jeff Jarrett's music hit to bring out Jarrett and a concerned Karen Jarrett. Mike Tenay recapped the storyline and tonight's reveal of Kurt's "mistress." In the ring, Jeff took the mic and addressed Kurt. He said they have decided to come out here tonight and call a truce once and for all. Jeff said he knows he mockingly offered him one in the past, but he is very sincere tonight. Jeff said Karen is just so sweet and fragile...and she wouldn't hurt a fly. Also, Karen has had nothing - I mean nothing - do with the outcome of Jeff's wins over Kurt in their feud. The crowd wasn't buying it. Jeff lowered his head, hugged Karen, and Karen took the mic.
Karen calmly told Kurt he knows he's had a lot of matches in his career - and maybe had his bell rung one too many times - but how he's convinced himself she's a thorn in his side is just wrong. She's only been a warm, loving, giving ex-wife. It's all been one big misunderstanding. Even the restraining order was in Kurt's best interest. Karen told Kurt to come out here and humbly accept her apology. Then, the three of them can move on as one big happy family.
Cue up Kurt's theme music. Jeff extended his hand as Kurt made his way to the ring. Kurt locked eyes with Jeff all the way to the ring, then took a mic in the ring. Kurt told Karen it's over and done. No, not their feud. Kurt said Karen just kept pushing and pushing and pushing. He said Karen and "Mr. Douchebag" have been pressing all the right buttons for the past six months. Kurt said he's tolerated it because she's the mother of his kids, but she doesn't know who she is anymore.
Kurt said he's going to get his just due at Sacrifice. It will be Jeff & Karen vs. him and his "business partner," who is here tonight. Kurt said he was going to introduce her right now, but the Network rep wanted to give her a proper intro. Kurt said he can't wait to see the look on Karen's face...and Jeff knows who she is. Jeff looked shocked, then Kurt left the ring as Karen tried to get an explanation from Jeff. 1999 is back.
Video package: They briefly hyped the Sacrifice PPV main event of Sting vs. RVD for the TNA Title on Sunday.
[Q2] Impact Zone: Christy Hemme introduced TNA Knockouts action to start the in-ring portion of the show. Out first were Madison Rayne and Tara, with Rayne yelling in Tara's ear all the way to the ring. Mickie James's music brought out James and Miss Tessmacher as the opposing team.
1 -- MADISON RAYNE & TARA vs. Knockouts champion MICKIE JAMES & MISS TESSMACHER
Earl Hebner had the referee assignment for this one. The story early on was tension between Mickie and Tara after Mickie set up a "Free Tara" stipulation last week for the KO Title match against Madison at the PPV. Mickie and Tara then shook hands, much to Rayne's dismay. Rayne's anger got the best of her, as Tess scored a quick pin out of nowhere for the win. Rayne flipped out on Tara, who ignored her and left the ring.
WINNERS: Mickie & T at 2:16. Basic set up for Mickie vs. Rayne at the PPV.
Backstage: Ric Flair was shown walking and strutting down the hallway and entering Hogan's office. Hogan accused Flair of being The Network rep. Flair told Hogan he's nuts and he's been healing his shoulder for two weeks. Bischoff told Hogan to think. Hogan apologized to Flair and said he's so rattled. Flair told Hogan he's bigger than The Network, so stop worrying about it. Hogan apologized again. Bischoff told them to get on the same page. "I'm on the same page!" Flair shouted. Flair and Hogan shook hands, then Hogan went back to freaking out about the rep.
Backstage: The Black Limo pulled up. "Could this be The Network representative?" Tenay asked rhetorically as the show cut to break.
Backstage: Tara talked to the roving cameraman about finally being free of Madison if Mickie wins at the PPV. Tara recapped wanting to be free from that little brat. Madison was in the background and overheard Tara. She walked up to Tara and vowed to win back her KO Title and make Tara's life hell.
Elsewhere Backstage: Tommy Dreamer was incognito "on the phone" wearing dark shades and a baseball cap. Roving cameraman wanted to know why Dreamer gave A.J. Styles a piledriver last week. Dreamer removed his shades, then Styles popped out of the truck demanding answers. Dreamer told Styles he's too young and innocent. Styles said he's a grown man with three kids. He said he stuck a fork in Dreamer's eyes; is that so innocent? Styles said he gets it. It's the EV2 thing. Dreamer said it has nothing to do with that. He said Styles doesn't understand. Dreamer refused to discuss it, then Styles challenged him to a match at Sacrifice. Dreamer said it's not an easy situation for him. Styles told Dreamer to back off or they'll throw down right here, right now. "Tommy Dreamer, back it up! Backing away from a fight? Is this the new Tommy Dreamer?" Styles asked. Dreamer said maybe no one ever understand who he is in the first place.
Elsewhere Backstage: Sting was doing a photo shoot with the TNA Title belt. Sting was approached by the cameraman again. Sting called RVD one of the "greatest martial...arts guys ever." He said he hopes he can zig when he zags. Sting slowly backed away, saying he'll be fighting for his life out there. Asked about The Network, Sting said there's a representative tonight and, shortly, it will be Showtime.
Video Package: Beer Money. Their achievements are incomparable. One of the greatest tag teams in TNA history. In 2008, Beer Money won the belts for the first time. Since then, they've beaten the best in the world. This Sunday, the put the belts on the line against Matt Hardy and a mystery partner.
Impact Zone: On cue, Beer Money's music hit to bring out Robert Roode and James Storm dressed for a board meeting and night on the town, respectively. In the ring, Roode called out Matt Hardy to reveal his "special" tag partner challenging for the belts. Roode thought he had it all figured out on who Hardy's tag partner is.
Cue up Matt Hardy's theme music to bring out Cold Blood. Hardy locked eyes with Roode on the way to ringside. Hardy said Roode actually impressed him last week when he called out Hulk Hogan. He said Roode showed for the first time he has a set. Hardy then addressed Storm, calling him worthless and a nobody. Hardy said what gives him the right to say that is that he is one-half of the greatest tag team ever. Hardy said Storm was raised to be a drunk cowboy and Roode was raised to be another annoying Canadian. He said no one's had the balls to put them in their place and it's going to happen in three days at Sacrifice.
Storm cut off Hardy and said he's wasting his breath and these people's time. Storm said the people know Hardy and his brother "were" great and the people know he enjoys an adult beverage after matches. Storm said he doesn't go around disrespecting people. Hardy took umbrage to his tone of voice, calling him an alcoholic who is full of hot air. Storm slowly put his beer down, then slipped out of the ring.
Hardy got in a fighting stance as Storm prepared to drink and fight. Storm got in Hardy's face and told him he's the man who will walk into a bar and bust him right in the face. Storm said he's the type of guy to also steal his girlfriend and then make him buy a case of beer to watch them have a good time. Storm told Hardy to get his brother out here already. Hardy told him to calm down. He said all this is going down at Sacrifice. He said if these piece of trash fans wanted to see the greatest tag team in wrestling history, they would have to pay to see them.
Hardy said his tag partner isn't Jeff, anyways. It's someone who knows them inside and out. He apologized for their unfortunate twist of fate, then started Beer Money's catch phrase, but Storm yanked the mic out of his hand. Suddenly, some new music hit and Chris Harris walked out on stage. "No!" Tenay said. Harris stood on-stage as Storm looked up at him like he was seeing a ghost. Tenay talked up Storm's credentials and AMW tag partnership with Storm. Meanwhile, Hardy spoke over Tenay that Beer Money won't be tag champs after Sunday.
Impact Zone: Christy Hemme introduced the second match of the show. Out came Sangriento a/k/a Amazing Red for an X Division bout. Tenay recapped Sangriento's debut victory last week over Suicide, who came out via the zipline for a re-match.
2 -- SANGRIENTO vs. SUICIDE
Time for the filler portion of the show, based on the way TNA presented this segment compared to the rest of the show. The announcers reinforced this as filler by focusing on the other big storylines going on in TNA. Sang and Suicide traded offense in and out of the ring early on. Sangriento looked like Waltman with a roundhouse kick in the corner for a two count. The two masked men then traded big moves before Sangriento hit a springboard cutter for the three count and the win.
WINNER: Sangriento at 3:40. Filler highspot match continuing to introduce the Sangriento character.
Post-match: Immortal's music hit to bring out Hogan, Flair, and Bischoff. So Cal Val lowered the ropes for Immortal to enter the ring as Suicide recovered in the ring. Flair then kicked him in the groin and Suicide rolled to the outside. Apparently Sangriento disappeared into thin air. Hogan took a mic and listed a bunch of technological devices before saying he wants The Network rep out here right now. Cue up the Impact theme music. Tenay said the answer is right after this.
[Q5 -- second hour] Impact Zone: They returned from break right at the top of the hour with Karen and Jeff Jarrett joining Immortal in the ring. Jeff was dressed to wrestle for some reason. Hogan repeated he wants The Network rep in his ring right now. Cue up Mick Foley's theme music. There wasn't a big "moment," as Foley just walked right out and started talking to Hogan about his plans starting to unravel. Foley said he's the rep for The Network. Hogan asked Bischoff if he has something to say. Foley piefaced Bischoff, then told Hogan he better take a damn good shot at him if he has one in him. Foley told Hogan he'll never work here again if Hogan strikes him.
Foley said this show is no longer about Hulk or anyone else. It's about wrestling. Foley said as of now, wrestling matters again. He said it mattered when Flair and Steamboat went 48 minutes. Foley said from now on, this show is about wrestling. And this show is no longer TNA Wrestling. It's Impact Wrestling. Hogan said he can't do that. Foley shot back he just did. Foley said anytime you hear the word "Impact" chanted, Hogan will think back to this day that wrestling matters.
Foley said there will be a new main event tonight. Was there even a main event to begin with? Foley booked a 25-man battle royal. He said the winner will be #1 contender for the TNA World Title. "That's wrestling," he declared. Um...no it's not. Foley said he calls the shots and he's going to tell Jeff who Angle's tag partner is at Sacrifice.
Cue up some rock music and the videotron spelled out C-H-Y-N-A. Out came Chyna looking like one of the Kardashians. Karen freaked out in the ring as Chyna stood on stage. "Chyna...here in TNA?" Tenay asked. They cut to break with Karen freaking out.
Moments Ago: Tenay, in a voice-over, recapped Hogan's court victory in Dallas months ago until Foley entered as The Network's eyes and ears. He said it's the checks & balances for Spike. Tenay said Foley changed the name of the show to Impact Wrestling.
Backstage: Foley was with Chyna talking to the roving cameraman. Foley said it felt so good to be back on a show where he can make an impact. He said wrestling matters now. Foley said he was looking for Hogan to knock him down and he wanted to take his best shot because he wanted to fire Hogan, Bischoff, and Flair. Foley said he's been the worst offender at times, but now it's about wrestling. Foley gave Chyna notice that he wants her wherever Jeff and Karen go during the battle royal tonight. Foley said there's always been a vague sexual tension between them.
Elsewhere Backstage: Mr. Anderson said wrestling matters now? Anderson said Foley is the guy who has been holding him back? He said Anderson put him in a 25-man battle royal tonight, so bravo! Anderson said he's going to enjoy throwing them all over the top rope, then go after Sting or RVD.
Announcers: Tenay and Taz broke down the Sacrifice PPV line-up on Sunday. Dreamer vs. Styles is official for the PPV.
[Q6] Impact Zone: Christy Hemme announced a three-way match up next. Abyss was out first. So, a three-way and Abyss are the first elements following the "this is wrestling" initiative announcement? Tenay rolled around the "Impact Wrestling" name aloud as Abyss made his way into the ring. Crimson was out next, followed by Samoa Joe.
3 -- ABYSS vs. CRIMSON vs. SAMOA JOE
The bell sounded and Joe started throwing bombs on the other two opponents. Crimson eventually cut him off, then went to work on Abyss. Abyss was knocked down, then Crimson and Joe came face-to-face trading blows. Crimson continued to use a cravate to neutralize Joe, who escaped, only to take the Black Hole Slam from Abyss. Crimson then popped up and speared Abyss before covering Joe for the win.
Post-match: Crimson played to the crowd for seemingly hours as Joe stalked him from behind a la Kurt Angle's TNA debut years ago. Abyss suddenly blindsided Crimson, taking care of Joe's dirty work for the night. Joe gave Abyss the okay, then slipped out of the ring and left. Meanwhile, Abyss dropped Crimson with the Black Hole Slam. The camera zoomed in on Abyss's mouth, where there was a huge gap due to his lost teeth. Wolfman stood tall ahead of the singles match vs. Crimson at the PPV.
WINNER: Crimson at 2:29.
Backstage: They showed an assembly line of 25 men preparing for the battle royal. Matt Morgan stood out above everyone else due to his height. Kurt Angle was at the back of the line.
Backstage: RVD was shown talking to the cameraman. He said he's watching the battle royal to see who his first title defense will be against.
Impact Zone: Numerous men were already in the ring for the battle royal before Fortune's music hit to bring out Beer Money, Kaz, Styles, and Daniels. Next was Immortal's music to bring out Jarrett and Karen along with Gunner, Hardy, and Bully Ray. Mr. Anderson then got his own ring intro as the next-to-last man in the match. Anderson removed his cap to reveal some serious hat hair. Kurt Angle's music played last and the match was set.
4 -- 25-MAN BATTLE ROYAL -- #1 contender to TNA World Title
The bell sounded and Tenay noted he doesn't think Eric Young realizes he's in the battle royal. Morgan quickly eliminated British Invasion, then chucked out Orlando Jordan after he tried to rub up against Morgan. Morgan then took out Anarquia. Tenay recapped the program's name change to Impact Wrestling and said "massive changes are coming" and they can only wonder what's next starting next week. Young finally decided to enter the match after running the ropes a la Ultimate Warrior. Morgan was just towering over everyone here. Meanwhile, Young kept doing ten punches in the corner on anyone he could find.
Neal went flying out. Hernandez then press-slammed Moore on to Neal. Moments later, Morgan emphatically disposed of Robbie E. Young, after skinning the cat, eliminated TV champ Gunner. Young then flipped in and out of the ring a la the Tough Enough Skills Challenge before eliminating himself. Young grabbed the TV Title from Val and left, with Gunner giving chase. More of the battle royal up next.
Tenay welcomed viewers back to "Impact Wrestling" with about the same number of wrestlers still in the ring. Karen made a save for Jeff from ringside as bodies continued to move around in the ring. Suddenly, Kaz went flying over the top rope and he quickly grabbed his left knee to sell an injury. Hardy and Storm then eliminated each other and referees had to separate them. Hardy then snuck back into the ring to eliminate Roode, who chased Hardy away.
Suddenly, Mick Foley was on commentary. Foley said wrestling does matter and he's looking forward to what goes on in the ring. Morgan then clotheslined Hernandez over the top. Meanwhile, Scott Steiner dumped Morgan. Ray then eliminated Steiner from behind. They were down to about eight men. Meanwhile, Morgan rammed Steiner into the base of the announce table. The camera focused on Ray, who held up Anderson for Dreamer to deliver right hands to the gut. Foley said he wants to settle things inside the ring now. With a battle royal?
[Q8] The battle royal continued with Pope eliminating Devon. Pope had a good laugh, then Angle stalked Pope and eliminated him over the top rope. The commercial break music played as the camera zoomed in on Dreamer slowly walking around the ring sporting his over-sized t-shirt. Yes, Impact Wrestling is back after the break.
Back from break, Tenay said Ray almost eliminated Angle during the break. Taz added there was not an elimination during the break. Dreamer focused on Styles while the other wrestlers took a breather. Moments later, Dreamer eliminated Styles per Ray's instructions. Ray then eliminated Dreamer to screw him over. So, it was Angle, Jarrett, Anderson, and Ray in the final four. Styles and Dreamer fought ringside while Angle and Jarrett paired off and Anderson and Ray paired off in the ring.
Karen got involved trying to prevent Jarrett from being thrown over the top. Jarrett then shoved Anderson through the middle ropes, so Anderson was safe. Ray was also shoved through the ropes. In the ring, Angle and Jarrett battled as the last two unofficially in the ring. Karen got involved again from the outside, so Angle was distracted. Jarrett then eliminated Angle. Cue up the Jarretts with a pre-mature celebration. Chyna eventually slid into the ring and dumped Jarrett over the top rope. Apparently that counted as an elimination. Chyna then grabbed Karen, but Jeff pulled Karen to safety. The Jarretts went running for the hills, then Chyna and Angle headed to the back.
So, it was down to Anderson and Ray, who crawled into the ring together. They traded blows as Tenay said "someone is leaving Impact Wrestling" with a future title shot. Ray eventually knocked down Anderson before trying to eliminate him, but Anderson saved himself and landed a right hand blow. Anderson then wanted a top rope dive, but Ray got his knees up. Anderson saved himself from elimination standing on the ring apron, then Anderson slowly pulled Ray over the top rope and Ray hit the ground to give Anderson the win.
WINNER: Anderson at 28:05 to become #1 contender to the TNA World Title after Sacrifice. The show might have a different name, but it's the same illogical booking. Chyna, who was not in the match, eliminates Jarrett and the announcers don't blink an eye? Overall, an awful start to the abrupt "Impact Wrestling" initiative with a three-way and battle royal following the announcement. One audience (people who knew about the change from the TV taping last week) were sent mixed signals about what exactly was changing for two weeks. The other audience (casual viewers who don't follow the product online) were taken off-guard by a random announcement that really didn't mean anything at the end of the day. TNA will have to do a better job explaining this to their entire audience in the weeks to come.
Post-match: Anderson took the mic and cut a promo about the Navy Seals taking out Osama bin Laden. This is the problem with taping a show two weeks ago, as the reference seems dated by the time it airs. Anderson told Sting he's cocked, locked, and loaded. "Boom!" he said. Anderson's music hit and he left the ring. Tenay said they'll find out who Anderson is facing for the title this Sunday at Sacrifice.
[Q9 -- over-run]
Backstage: Sting said he's happy for Ken after he won the battle royal. He said he'll be really happy when he shuts Anderson's mouth. RVD then walked in and said it's a great plan, but Sting has to beat him on Sunday. Anderson then walked in and told them to save it for Sunday. He said he doesn't care who wins because he promises them that come Slammiversary, he's going to be in rare form. He told them he's an equal opportunity a-hole. "Good to know, Ken," RVD said over his shoulder as the show wrapped up.
Keller Coverage: PWTorch editor Wade Keller is live-blogging on TNA Impact tonight at WadeKeller.com.
We welcome your 0-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.
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