TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 1/30: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Glasgow Impact - "investor" revealed, Angle & Joe's careers on the line, Tag Title match, more
Jan 30, 2014 - 10:02:49 PM
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TNA Impact Results
January 30, 2014
Taped earlier today in Glasgow, Scotland
Episode #5 of 2014
Aired on Spike TV
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
TNA Impact opened with Mike Tenay solemnly narrating a video on Sting's contract being ripped up by Dixie Carter last week. Tenay said Sting is gone from TNA.
Backstage: The show started with agents amateurishly attempting to separate Samoa Joe & Kurt Angle from Magnus, Rockstar Spud, and Ethan Carter.
To the ring, Magnus led out ECIII and Spud as Mike Tenay and Jeremy Borash introduced the show. JB recapped some business about Scotland not wanting to be part of the U.K. anymore, so the crowd does not recognize Englishman Magnus as their champion. Once in the ring, Magnus insulted Scotland before claiming victory over Sting.
Magnus went on to discuss the business of restructuring or removing dead wood, like the fans in the crowd losing their jobs. Magnus referenced Dixie Carter to boos, then noted they have decided to rid TNA of the dinosaurs lumbering around the company. He said they are making way for the new stars of the business. Notably, himself. And, singlehandedly.
Ethan Carter III interrupted, asking Magnus if he really thinks he did this by himself. Magnus mocked him to deflect ECIII's claims, then Kurt Angle's music played. Angle and Samoa Joe hit the ring to loud cheers as JB noted that Angle and Joe are not happy with how Dixie Carter has been running the company. After the heels cleared out, Angle took the mic and said he can't believe Sting is gone. He called Magnus a paper champion, which Magnus warned him about saying.
Angle said he can't believe what Magnus turned into after they welcomed him into their Main Event Mafia family. Magnus replied that what's really killing Angle and Joe is that he is World champion, not them. Joe said the only thing killing them is that Magnus is walking around breathing. He said they came to Glasgow to kick his ass. Magnus took that as a threat, then called for a tag match. ECIII didn't like the sound of that.
Magnus raised the stakes that if they win the match, then Angle and Joe are gone from TNA for good. Angle and Joe thought it over, then Joe raised the stakes - if either one of them scores a fall, then they become #1 contender to the TNA World Title. Joe told Magnus to really think it over because - he understands - this might be too intense for a paper champion. Magnus flipped out, then told Joe that he's got the match.
Suddenly, Dixie Carter walked out on-stage to boos as Joe's music stopped playing. Carter said this is not happening, then asked for the music to be cut. Magnus and Carter argued about whether this tag match will be happening, then Dixie fessed up that she's worried about Magnus losing the title to Kurt or Joe. Magnus ignored her, then re-affirmed that they have a deal. Tenay said the TNA champ has over-ruled the TNA president.
Backstage: A vehicle pulled up backstage. JB excitedly said they will find out the "new investor" later tonight.
[Q2] [Commercial Break at 9:15]
Backstage: A cameraman talked to himself about needing to get a close-up on the mini-van backstage. Out came the Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards), who told the cameraman to back off. He said anyone who wants to find out the investor has to go through them.
1 -- KO champion MADISON RAYNE & VELVET SKY vs. GAIL KIM & LEI'D TAPA
Before the match started, TNA flashed back through the Beautiful People Era that included Rayne and Sky. The heels then jumped the re-united KO tandem to begin the match. But, the faces bought back and Sky dropped Gail with a Pedigree. It was good for the win.
WINNERS: Madison and Sky at 1:54.
Post-match, Chris Sabin stormed down to the ring. Sabin told "tramp" Madison to get out of the ring because he needs to talk to his girlfriend. Sabin said he hasn't heard from Sky for a week and she is still his girlfriend. Sky sold dejection as Sabin talked down to her about it being her time of the month. So, he's willing to give her one chance to say she's sorry, put it behind them, and they go backstage, where Sky will give him a massage. "One chance. Say you're sorry," Sabin said. Sky pretended to think it over, then quietly said she has one thing to say to him. "We're Done!" she shouted, then shoved the mic into Sabin's chest and left the ring. Sabin freaked out in the ring as Sky headed to the back.
Backstage: Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle talked about needing to take out Magnus and ECIII tonight. Angle then stormed into the locker room, where he found Bobby Roode and aggressively approached him. But, the feed cut out before any physicality was documented.
[Commercial Break at 9:25]
Backstage: Angle was mid-beating on Roode, but Joe pulled him off. Angle complained about Roode costing Sting and A.J. Styles their jobs, then Roode talked back to Angle, so Joe grabbed him around the throat and threatened to choke the life out of him. "I will end you, Bobby," Joe shouted in Roode's ear as he gasped for air. Angle pulled off Joe, then the duo left. Roode was then shown smirking after getting to his two rivals.
[Q3] In-ring: James Storm's music played to bring out Storm dressed to wrestle. Once in the ring, Storm referenced Gunner to boos. Storm said something during their partnership made things fall apart. He then called down Gunner to put an end to this. Loud crashing music played to bring out Gunner with possession of his World Title MITB briefcase.
Once in the ring, Gunner told a story about them coming together to do great things and pick up a couple of bar fights. But, once he obtained this briefcase, things kind of blew up. Actually, the problems were there before the briefcase, which brought their issues to the surface. In any event, Gunner talked about his family, James's family, and Gunner's military experience. Gunner said one thing he learned in the Marines was not fighting for the government, but for the man next to him.
Gunner continued with a story about some of his friends dying out in the battlefield, but they always fought side-by-side. Storm said he knows Gunner was a great Marine and a great man, then called Gunner a great wrestler. Storm then talked up his alcohol consumption before noting his kids are most important. He said her daughter asked why he's mad at Gunner, then he thought it over and said he had to look at himself. Storm said he's proud of Gunner and has his back. He said he wants to be the bigger man, so he will shake his hand and say he's sorry. "I got your back," Storm said.
Providing the interruption was Bad Influence's music, bringing out Christopher Daniels and Kazarian. Kaz asked Storm if he honestly believes anyone should believe what he says. He then told Gunner that he's all beard and no brains, but he shouldn't trust what Storm says.
Daniels spoke next that they should have a tag match tonight. And, if Gunner thinks Storm is trustworthy, he should put the briefcase on the line so that when they win, one of them will get the TNA Title shot. Gunner answered with a punch and a fight was on. A ref showed up to ring the bell heading to break.
2 -- JAMES STORM & GUNNER vs. BAD INFLUENCE (DANIELS & KAZARIAN) -- Gunner's TNA World Title shot briefcase on the line
[Commercial Break at 9:39]
Back from break, Storm and Gunner showed tag team cohesion by wearing down Kaz, who was still dressed in his pre-match t-shirt. Kaz then tagged in Daniels, who helped Kaz take control of the match. Gunner fought back on Kaz, then tried to tag in Storm, but Storm was occupied with Daniels. So, the heels resumed control on Gunner.
[Q4] Gunner got a second wind and climbed to the top rope, fought off Daniels, and splashed Kaz with a diving headbutt. It was good for the pin and the win. GunStorm then celebrated their victory in the ring.
WINNERS: GunStorm at 8:01. And, they're back on the same page. For now. That was a lot of time invested in a storyline that is more than miss than hit.
Backstage: Dixie Carter was freaking out. About the limo, not the events in the ring. Rockstar Spud tried to calm down Carter, who demanded to know who this new investor is now. Spud left, then Impact cut to break with Dixie selling that she was on the verge of a nervous break down.
[Commercial Break at 9:48]
Video Package: Samoa Joe through the years. "If you dare blink, Joe's gonna kill you."
Tonight: Joe & Angle vs. Magnus & ECIII with careers on the line.
Backstage: Dixie Carter was on the phone with her attorney. He didn't have any answers on the investors. He's right outside - why not ask him? Bobby Roode then walked in and Dixie said she doesn't have time for his issues. Roode demanded a TNA Title shot at Lockdown after all he did for her helping Magnus remain TNA champ. Dixie told him to calm down and appreciate that she has a full plate. Dixie pulled out her pocketbook to give Roode money, but Roode said he doesn't want any money. He told her to figure it out by next week. Until then, no more favors.
Backstage: Eric Young was shown talking to his "wife," ODB, who asked EY about his master plan with Abyss/Joseph Park. ODB said she's worried about him because Abyss is a monster for a reason. ODB left, then Abyss walked in with a bag of thumbtacks in his right hand. Abyss breathed heavily, then walked toward the ring.
Backstage: Rockstar Spud found a camera and demanded the operator follow him. Spud said he's going to find the Wolves and find answers on the investor. Spud then walked through a back door.
[Commercial Break at 9:56]
[Q5 -- second hour] The second hour started with a review of events earlier tonight when Joe & Angle vs. Magnus & ECIII was booked for the main event.
In-ring: Another round of Rockstar Spud, which prompted Tenay to blame Borash for Spud being in TNA since JB was an executive producer of "British Bootcamp." Once in the ring, Spud ran down Scotland again. Spud then demanded to know who the new investor is.
Instead, the Wolves came out on-stage dressed in all-black suits. Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards marched down to the ring as Spud stood by annoyed. Once the Wolves entered the ring, Spud knocked their "very 2005" wardrobe, then demanded to know who the investor is. Spud then pulled out a flashlight to investigate them like on one of those U.S. cop shows like "Magnum T.A." No answers. Spud removed his jacket, then noted who he is. Spud heelishly claimed that he pushed Jeff Hardy off a 500 pound ladder and beat Samoa Joe within an inch of his life. "And, Mr. Carter told me that I'm fierce!"
Spud slapped Davey, who no-sold, then both Wolves removed their jackets. Spud demanded to know who the investor is one more time, but the Wolves kicked him in the gut before giving him a double-team move. Edwards then told Spud that Dixie will find out who the investor is at the same time everyone else will later tonight. He added that if anyone interferes in the main event later tonight, that person will be fired. Eddie and Davey left the ring as Spud coughed up a lung in the ring.
Video Package: Eric Young and Joseph Park/Abyss. EY was shown talking in a new piece of video that it's okay that Park is Abyss and Abyss is Park. But, the video showed Park not being so sure.
In-ring: Abyss's music played and Christy Hemme introduced a Tag Title match up next. Eric Young and Abyss came down to the ring and TNA accidentally put up an X Division Title match graphic on the screen. Combined with audio issues in the opening segment, it's been a challenging night for the production team.
D.J. Zema Ion then paved the way for the Bro-Mans to come out to defend their titles. Zema tried talking on the mic as Bro-Mans made their entrance, but he couldn't be heard. The Tag Title match is next.
[Commercial Break at 10:12]
3 -- TNA tag champions BRO-MANS (ROBBIE E. & JESSIE w/D.J. Zema) vs. ERIC YOUNG & ABYSS -- TNA Tag Title match
The heels dominated EY early on as Tenay referenced a U.K. referee assigned to this match. Abyss then tagged himself in, cleaned house, spotted D.J. Zema trying to get involved, and choked him. The ref reprimanded Abyss, who then put the referee on his shoulders for Shock Treatment, but EY tried to calm him down. Instead, Abyss hit Shock Treatment on the ref, presumably causing a DQ.
Post-match, EY shook his head as JB noted their Tag Title aspirations are out the door. Abyss then chokeslammed Young for good measure. Abyss posed, then stomped around the ring to no music. Abyss left the ring, then headed to the back as EY grabbed a mic. Young said they only have one experiment left. EY suggested they get crazy with a Monster's Ball match next week. From the stage, Abyss smiled, which counted as an acceptance.
WINNER: No Decision around 6:00. Will Abyss/Park/a distant cousin be attacked $10,000 for taking out a referee? Also, the ship has sailed on TNA protecting wrestling matches, so the match ended without a result and no one batted an eye, just moved on to the next thing.
Backstage: The roving cameraman was hounding Eddie Edwards about the investor. Edwards told the guy to relax while Davey talked to him.
Backstage: A coffin. Bully Ray was shown slowly wheeling the coffin down the hallway like a zombie.
[Commercial Break at 10:24]
Earlier This Week: Christy Hemme and Sam Shaw. They were drinking wine at Shaw's place. Hemme excitedly said he's going to check out his place as Shaw walked behind her too close for comfort. Shaw then took a chunk of Hemme's hair and put it in his pocket. TNA cut to a camera shot of another room, which was adorned with Hemme memorabilia. The unsub kissed a photo of Hemme, who called out off-camera if he was going upstairs with her.
[Q7] In-ring: Bully Ray wheeled a coffin down to ringside, then entered the ring. Ray, his face hidden by a dark hoodie and dark sunglasses, took the mic to ask the crowd if they know who he is. Ray introduced himself to boos, then noted he used to be president of Aces & Eights. And, he used to be the World Hvt. champion. But, one man took that away from him. All of it. Ray said this man is loved and adored by the people - Ken Anderson.
Ray said he has tried to break him on multiple occasions, but he keeps coming back. So, he's challenging him to one final match. And, the only way to win is not by pinfall or submission. But, by placing your opponent in this coffin.
Mr. Anderson's music interrupted to address the challenge. Anderson walked out on-stage, then slowly walked down toward the coffin to meet Ray on the floor. Anderson asked Ray if he really intends to put him in this coffin. Then, what? Ray said maybe he'll piledrive Anderson's wife and kids. Anderson didn't flinch, then asked Ray if he's really going to do that. Anderson leaned back, then aggressively told Ray that they're all tired of Ray running his mouth. He vowed to shut Ray's mouth, then slammed the coffin lid into Ray's face.
On the floor, Anderson grabbed a chair, slid it into the ring, and knocked Ray into the ring. Anderson crotched Ray, then dropped him with the Green Bay Plunge. Anderson then jabbed Ray with the chair, but Ray escaped the ring before he could take more punishment. Ray recovered to the stage as Anderson stood tall in the ring.
Video: It's "Terminator" Kurt Angle. The video hyped Angle, similar to Joe, ahead of the main event.
Backstage: Ethan Carter III walked into Magnus's holding area to ask if he's ready for the main event. Magnus talked down to ECIII, calling him a green rookie. ECIII said it sounds like he's making excuses in-case they lose tonight. Dixie Carter then walked in and her boys cheered up. Magnus said he is excited to team with ECIII, then Dixie whispered to Carter not to screw up. Dixie walked off with her prize pupil as ECIII mocked them from behind, selling frustration with Magnus taking his place of favor.
[Commercial Break at 10:40]
In-ring: Christy Hemme was standing by in the ring to introduce the main event. Has anyone alerted Christy to the Sam Shaw footage? Why didn't the cameraman filming Shaw's creepiness help out?
4 -- KURT ANGLE & SAMOA JOE vs. TNA World Hvt. champion MAGNUS & ETHAN CARTER III -- Angle & Joe's TNA careers on the line -- if Angle or Joe wins, he receives a TNA World Title shot
Angle and Joe dominated early on as JB announced the 2015 European Tour with initial dates in Glasgow, Manchester, and London in January 2015. The heels took control, then TNA cut to a split-screen of the Wolves and the investor's feet in the parking area. The trio left their holding place as events continued in the ring.
[Commercial Break at 10:50]
Back from break, TNA went to a variety of wide shots to try to keep the audience's attention as the heels isolated Angle. ECIII then missed a corner attack, allowing Angle to spring on Carter with a German Suplex. Angle then reached his corner to tag in Joe, who cleaned house. Joe lit up Magnus with a chop, then delivered a snap powerslam.
ECIII entered the ring, so Angle yanked him to the floor, where Angle delivered a belly-to-belly suplex. "What are you doing?" Magnus shouted down to Carter. Joe then grabbed Magnus and put on the rear-naked choke. Magnus faded, then tapped out, making Joe the #1 contender. JB said the investor made it two-on-two, creating an even playing field.
WINNERS: Joe & Angle at 11:04.
Post-match: Dixie Carter marched down to the ring shouting she told you so. Dixie said she knew this was going to happen. From the ring, Joe taunted Dixie and Magnus that he is the #1 contender to the TNA World Title. Joe then told Magnus not to blame ECIII because he tapped out tonight. And, soon, there will be no excuses. He told Magnus to shine his belt because he's going to kill him.
[Q9 -- over-run] Angle said it's night like this that make him proud to be in this business. After thanking Glasgow, Angle noted he's done it all in TNA, but the last two weeks have been pretty great. "I'm happy and glad to say that Kurt Angle is back," he said. Angle then told Dixie Carter to bring her paycheck because the time has come for him to be inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame. He told Dixie to invite the new investor, too.
Dixie responded that she's tired of hearing about the new investor. She shouted that she wants this person to show his or her face right now. Carter broke the fourth wall shouting into the camera to show up right now.
Suddenly, a familiar clock ticked. The lights went down, then Edwards and Richards came out on-stage. Out came MVP dressed in a suit with "investor" glasses. Tenay's voice cracked as he shouted: "The mystery is solved. The investor is M-Veee-Peeeee!" Impact signed off two minutes past the top of the hour with MVP standing on the stage with his fist in the air.
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