TNA Impact CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT RESULTS 6/5: Complete "virtual-time" coverage of Orlando Impact - Eight-Man main event, KO Title match, Sheriff Anderson, more
Jun 5, 2014 - 10:00:15 PM
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TNA Impact Results
June 5, 2014
Taped in Orlando, Fla.
Aired on Spike TV
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor
Impact opened with a backstage shot of Kenny King wandering around looking for Samoa Joe. "Joe!" he shouted. TNA cut to an overhead shot of MVP and Bobby Lashley also looking for Joe. After a look at the top of MVP's head, they were shown walking on.
Impact Zone: Samoa Joe's music played to solve the opening mystery, as Joe emerged through the curtain to hit the ring. In the ring, Joe said it appears MVP is looking for him. So, he's here in the ring and ready to figure a few things out.
MVP, Lashley, and King stomped down to the ring, where King spoke first. King said this is getting really, really old. Joe just returned last week, so how could it be old? King expanded on his thoughts that Joe is like the other whiny tough-guys in TNA. Joe interrupted with a message to MVP that if King is his mouthpiece, he should have kissed his ass first.
Joe got in MVP's face to tell him that he's a liar, scumbag, and crook. He said MVP is just like the rest where absolute power corrupts absolutely. MVP ignored him and said he needs to update Joe on what's happened since Joe took his ball and went home like a crybaby. Joe said he's right, so he's ready to beat people up like he's supposed to. How about all three of them against him?
Instead, Austin Aries's music interrupted to bring out Aries accusing MVP of stalling and not wanting a piece of Joe. "Because you only want to fight when you can stack the deck in your favor," Aries said. MVP responded that this is about Joe, who is in breach of his contract and it's strictly business. Aries told MVP to use his position to address the situation.
Instead, MVP booked Joe in a match tonight to where if he wins, he will be re-instated to a full-time roster spot. And, his opponent will be the Greatest Ego Who Ever Lived, Austin Aries. MVP added that if Aries loses, he's done, per Bobby Lashley. But, if Aries wins, Joe is done in TNA. MVP told them it's high-stakes because one of them is not coming back to TNA.
Locker Room: Magnus approached a seated Bram to have a conversation about Bram not being ready for Willow. Magnus said this isn't the normal Jeff Hardy, and he became this person after he beat Hardy for the World Title. Bram said he remembers and he was proud of Magnus at the time. He was hungry and made it, but then Magnus got complacent and lazy. Bram said the old Magnus would still be champ. "Where's that guy?" he asked. Bram told Magnus to pull the trigger again. "Or, maybe, you never will," he told him. Bram stared down Magnus and told him if he doesn't, it's okay, because it's more opportunity for him. It's next.
[Commercial Break at 9:10]
1 -- JEFF HARDY/WILLOW vs. BRAM (w/Magnus)
Hardy kicked Bram into the corner early on, but Bram knocked Hardy into the guardrail on the outside. Back in the ring, Bram back-elbowed Hardy, then kind of moved around the ring and wiped his hair back in-between movements. Hardy dropkicked Bram across the ring, then knocked him out of the ring to the floor. Hardy hobbled to the outside, where Bram rammed him into the steel steps.
Back in the ring, then back to the outside again. Hardy delivered a flying splash, then he re-arranged the ring steps to run off the steps for a flying leg whip that rocked Bram into the guardrail. Hardy returned to the ring and trying a leaping elbow, but Bram moved and Hardy ate the ring steps. Both men sold on the floor, then Bram retrieved a weapon.
Back in the ring, ref Brian Hebner reprimanded Bram for possessing the weapon, then Magnus hit the ring and told Bram not to use it. Magnus slowly reached for the weapon, then pulled the old switcheroo charging across the ring to smash Hardy with the weapon. DQ call, then Magnus smashed Hardy over and over as Bram reached a point of ecstasy watching Magnus destroy Hardy. "This is you!" Bram told Hardy like a proud, but crazy dad. Magnus looked down at his work, then TNA cut away from the ring.
WINNER: Hardy/Willow via DQ at 4:59.
MVP's Office: MVP walked in to find The Wolves sitting on MVP's couch. Davey Richards said he misunderstood this as the Era of the Wrestler, then MVP told the Wolves they should stop being so sensitive. He put them in a match against each other tonight, saying Davey is the better technician and Eddie Edwards is the tougher of the two. Davey tried to explain they're a tag team, but MVP said he doesn't care and booked the match now.
[Commercial Break at 9:24]
Backstage: A man was dressed as the sheriff. It was not Damien Sandow, but Mr. Anderson in a cowboy/western get-up, looking like a character from "Vacation." Anderson turned to the camera and talked in an odd accent about liking beer, while spilling it all over himself.
2 -- TNA tag champion DAVEY RICHARDS vs. TNA tag champion EDDIE EDWARDS
Back in the arena, two men were standing opposite each other dressed alike. Kenny King emerged on-stage to survey the action, which started with an evenly-matched back-and-forth, stand-off, and more coordinated, evenly-matched exchanges. Davey, wearing tape across his ribs, sold the effects of his injury before King took the mic. King said he doesn't want to see two puppies roll around the ring, but a fight. Otherwise, MVP will return the Tag Titles to Bro-Mans.
[Q3] Eddie and Davey regrouped, talked about making it look good, and went back to evenly-matched exchanges. Eddie then went to work on Davey's injured ribs at King's urging. Davey responded with a forward-roll into an armbar, but Eddie countered into a half-Boston Crab as King continued to provide commentary from the stage. Eddie then stacked up Davey for a three count to win.
WINNER: Eddie at 4:17.
Post-match: King stormed the ring, saying that's not good enough. He said he didn't see anyone get tossed, kicked, or tossed in the air. "You do what you're told!" King shouted at them. King said they must think he's joking. He said the belts are going bye-bye, but the Wolves kicked him, punched him, and threw him out of the ring. King regrouped on the outside as the Wolves were handed their Tag Titles.
Parking Area: Dixie Carter approached MVP to question his booking decisions tonight, specifically Aries vs. Joe in a contract match. MVP told Dixie to go back to her champagne and popcorn because she doesn't know anything about wrestling. Dixie rolled her eyes as MVP stomped off.
[Commercial Break at 9:35]
Tonight: KO champion Angelina Love va. Madison Rayne in Rayne's Knockouts Title re-match.
Locker Room: Brittany approached Madison Rayne to apologize for what happened last week. Britt said she's here for Madison, who firmly told her that she wants her to do nothing. Nothing. Don't get involved. Listen to me. Do nothing. Britt said that's fine as Madison walked off.
Dressing Room: Robbie E. walked into a conversation between Jessie and D.J. Zema. Robbie quietly sat down in a daze, then the Bro-Mans asked what his problem is. The Menagerie. Not the chick, The Freak, or the tall guys on stilts. The clowns. Robbie said in third grade, he wanted a D.J., but he got a clown instead. Robbie said he cannot handle it.
Backstage: MVP approached referee Brian Hebner to make sure he's clear that there is a winner and a loser tonight. No double pins. No funny business. A clear winner and a clear loser.
Backstage: Samoa Joe sent a message to MVP about regretting going in for MVP, saying he vouched for him and got screwed. He said he knows what MVP is about, so he went home. Austin Aries then walked in and said that's the thing - Joe went home. He said the difference between them is he saw MVP who he is right off the bat, which got him sent home. Aries said now they find themselves in this position. Aries noted he respects Joe, but he has to do whatever it takes tonight to make sure he still has a job.
[Q4] [Commercial Break at 9:44]
Impact Zone: The D.J. booth was in the ring, which meant D.J. Zema introducing the Bro-Mans. But, Robbie E. was still concerned about the clowns. Robbie repeated the skit from from just a few minutes ago about being scared of clowns. Jessie and D.J. tried to talk confidence into Robbie, who kept scratching his left arm like he had a nervous itch. Suddenly, the ringmaster came over the P.A. system to introduce The Menagerie.
Out came Rebel and the big guys on stilts, then Crazy Steve, The Freak, and Knux. In the ring, Robbie kept scratching his itch. Knux led his group down to the ring as Mike Tenay and Taz recapped Menagerie's intentions to earn money to send back to the carnival at home. Robbie yelled at Knux, who said they are The Menagerie, which is like the Bro-Mans, except they have Rebel. Suddenly, a horn battle broke out between Crazy Steve and D.J. Zema. Yes, this happened. Suddenly, Freak lifted D.J. out of the d.j. booth and pressed him in the air. A fight broke out as people just sort of walked around the ring. Knux then dumped Robbie out of the ring before booting Jessie in the face. Freak, having wandered around the ring for a while, then pressed D.J. Zema over the top rope onto the Bro-Mans. Menagerie posed to close the segment.
Parking Garage: Eric Young and Bully Ray told ref Brian Hebner to do the right thing tonight. Bully noted MVP is trying to bully Brian, so he needs to do the right thing. Brian shouted back that he has to provide for his family, so he will try to do the best he can with the Joe-Aries situation. Bully told EY they will do what they have to do.
[Commercial Break at 9:55]
Vignette: Gunner sat down with Sam Shaw in the psych ward to play Go Fish. Shaw refused to play along, but read Gunner's cards. Gunner said he needs a drink. Shaw said Dave is down the hall with the drinks. Gunner and Shaw resumed their one-sided game of Go Fish.
[Q5 -- second hour]
3 -- AUSTIN ARIES vs. SAMOA JOE -- Loser's contract is terminated
Before the bell sounded, TNA showed Bully and Eric Young watching intently on a backstage monitor. On commentary, Tenay said this will be the final TNA match for one of these two men, going heavy on the stipulation. Joe teased an early Musclebuster, but Aries escaped. Joe and Aries continued to trade control as ref Brian Hebner tried to administer the rules. Joe tried another Musclebuster, but Aries escaped again. Aries followed with the Last Chancery, then Eric Young suddenly stormed the ring and pulled Hebner out of the ring. EY and Brian argued about families to look out for and feed as Brian's face turned bright red. Bully Ray then sauntered down to ringside, where he apologized before KO Punching Brian.
Bully took the mic and said this was bigger than Brian. He said it's about Joe and Aries's lives and families. Bully tried to talk, but MVP interrupted from the stage flanked by Lashley and King. MVP said this is not a game. Bully cut him off and said he is ruining this place. He said MVP stands for Most Valuable Piece of Crap in his book. If he wants a match and a fight, they should "do this." How about Bully, EY, Aries, and Joe against the three of them and Ethan Carter III.
EY then whispered in Bully's ear that the World champion thinks this should be an eight-man First Blood match. MVP shouted back that he doesn't make the decisions around here. King then yanked the mic from MVP and angrily accepted the match. MVP yelled at King to shut up and get out of here, while Lashley tried to play peacemaker with his face hiding underneath a cap.
WINNER: No One in 4:00. Is Slammiversary in two weeks? And, is the main event EY vs. MVP for the TNA Title? Sure doesn't seem like it, with little focus on an MVP vs. EY issue, more like Bully vs. MVP.
Backstage: Mr. Anderson did his fake accent about liking beer, while walking around like a drunk sheriff.
[Commercial Break at 10:10]
Impact Zone: And now for something different, Christy Hemme introduced James Storm. Storm's old theme played to bring out Mr. Anderson dressed like a drunk sheriff. Anderson sauntered down to the ring rambling about televisions with rabbit ears. Anderson shouted that he likes beer. Anderson spilled a jug of beer all over himself, then quizzed Hemme on beer. Anderson added, "Sorry about my damn breath."
[Q6] Anderson went back to a few weeks ago when he out-drank James Storm, then he repeated that he likes beer. Suddenly, Storm's new heel music played. Out came the actual James Storm not in a good mood about Anderson's mockery. On the stage, Storm squatted like a catcher and told Anderson he thinks this is funny. Anderson belched affirmatively.
Storm asked Anderson if it's funny to befriend a man, only to reveal that he was not even consuming alcohol. Anderson said he thought it was funny, having dropped the fake accent. Storm said Anderson pissed him off a little more than before, and now he is here to go another round. Anderson asked if he wants to go right now. Storm said not right now because his time is a lot more important than these people's time. So, he is closed for business tonight. Anderson said his bar is open 24/7 and they serve up whippings.
Anderson left the ring to the floor, where a brawl broke out. A planted fan holding a red Solo cup was suddenly ringside, so Storm yanked the drink away and threw it in Anderson's face. This allowed Storm to rock Anderson back into the ring, where he delivered a Last Call Superkick. A few people made noise in the building, then Storm took the mic and asked Anderson if he wants to be a cowboy. Storm booked a match for Slammiversary, and told him to bring his cowboy boots to Dallas on June 15.
Vignette: Gunner tried to get Sam Shaw to show him his drawings. Shaw breathed heavily, then agreed. "Okay," he said like a 10-year-old boy.
[Commercial Break at 10:22]
Vignette: Back to Gunner trying to understand Shaw's black and white drawings. The next picture was of Shaw missing his mother because she's a good cook. Next was Shaw thinking he's Christy Hemme's shadow. The fourth was personal to Shaw, who said he's not finished with this one yet. Gunner told him to finish it. For him. "Okay," he said.
4 -- KO champion ANGELINA LOVE (w/Velvet Sky) vs. MADISON RAYNE -- Knockouts Title match
As soon as the bell sounded, Angelina bailed from the ring for a conference with Velvet, frustrating Madison. Back in the ring, Velvet got involved from the outside, so Brittany came down to try to neutralizer her, ignoring Madison's pre-match instructions again. Britt did not provide any help, as Angelina rolled up Madison for a three count administered by the Beautiful People's personal referee, Stiffler.
WINNER: Angelina at 3:55 to retain the KO Title.
Backstage Area: MVP approached Ethan Carter III and told him not to mess things up tonight. ECIII noted he's undefeated, then MVP let Carter lead the way to the ring for the main event.
[Commercial Break at 10:35]
Backstage: Madison Rayne caught up to Brittany, asking why she didn't provide any help while she was standing there. Britt said she did exactly what Madison requested - nothing. A frustrated Madison slapped the wall.
Announcers: Tenay and Taz provided a basic rundown of the Slammiversary line-up in two Sundays.
Impact Zone: Ethan Carter III was introduced first for the main event. MVP's music then brought out MVP, Kenny King, and Bobby Lashley to join Carter. Eric Young's music then brought out EY, Austin Aries, Bully Ray, and Samoa Joe to face MVP's squad.
5 -- MVP & KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY & ETHAN CARTER III vs. TNA World Hvt. champion ERIC YOUNG & BULLY RAY & SAMOA JOE & AUSTIN ARIES -- eight-man First Blood match
King trash-talked Aries to start things off, so Aries slapped him across the chest. ECIII was in next and Young also entered to work on Carter. EY then tagged in Bully, so Carter went scurrying to the heel corner to avoid Bully and tag in MVP. Bully told MVP to get in the ring, so MVP met him mid-ring.
[Q8] MVP and Bully traded bombs, then bounced the ropes and collided. Another collision. Ray then big-booted MVP in the face. King tagged in next and Bully took it to him, too. Bully then tagged in Joe, who entered the ring to inflict punishment to King. King decided to escape, so he tagged in Lashley. Joe and Lashley circled the ring, then Tenay fed to commercial.
[Commercial Break at 10:47]
Back from break, Young and Lashley battled. Young then found himself in the heel corner to take a beating from MVP, who was still wrestling in a t-shirt. Tenay slipped in a note that these two men will meet for the TNA Title at Slammiversary. Lashley then tagged in and tried to open up Young's forehead, but no blood. The heels continued to target Young's forehead, but no blood, making this look unrealistic that the sheer number of facial blows did not produce blood since this is presented as a real fight.
ECIII decided to slap on a reverse chinlock, giving Young an opening to escape. Taz said he doesn't know how this man is not bleeding right now, winking and nodding toward this being unrealistic. Joe then tagged in for Young and snapped off a powerslam on Carter. But, Lashley speared Joe. But, Young dropkicked Lashley. But, MVP kicked Young in the face. But, Aries discus-clotheslined MVP. Then, Bully smashed King in the face.
Chaos on the outside as the crowd chanted for tables, but Bully turned around and ate a powerslam from ECIII. Carter then measured Bully for a corner attack, but Bully moved. Bully pulled out his steel chain and popped Carter in the face with a closed fist chain shot. Carter fell to the mat and the bell sounded. Ref Brian Hebner determined there was blood, then TNA found a camera shot of ECIII bleeding from his ear. Hebner reached back into his pocket, then stood in the middle of the babyfaces to raise their arms in victory. A replay of the chain shot, then another curtain call with Hebner.
WINNERS: Team Bully at 14:45. One of those matches that makes Average Joe Wrestling Fan sit back in his chair and say, "Eh, this is all fake," with Young getting lit up for a few minutes with direct shots to his face. There's a reason why the First Blood Match is virtually extinct in today's wrestling.
Suddenly, there was something going on backstage. MVP, Lashley, and King were beating up ECIII. Lashley was wearing his cap again. Dixie yelled at MVP that if they want to fight, they have themselves a war and they will pay. MVP glared into Dixie's face and said no power is gained without a war. Dixie glared back to close Impact.
Next Thursday: TNA had footage ready to go on next week's pre-taped show, focusing on what MVP has in store for Eric Young next week heading into Slammiversary.
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