Arena: Michael Cole introduced the show and said the pressure is mounting with the first elimination coming in three weeks. Vickie Guerrero interrupted Cole with a round of "Excuse me!" interjections. Guerrero said her Rookie, Kaitlyn, embarrassed her last week, so she's bringing out a real star. She introduced her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler. Out came Ziggler as Cole and Mathews bantered back and forth about why Vickie is a Pro and why Mathews is an announcer.
In-ring: So, it's a mixed tag to start things off. Primo then came out with A.J. to face Ziggler and Kaitlyn in the opener. Cole noted there will be another obstacle course competition later in the show.
1 -- IC champion DOLPH ZIGGLER & KAITLYN vs. PRIMO & A.J.
Ziggler and Primo started things off. Apparently Primo is playing face in the alternative universe known as NXT. The Rookies then tagged in as Cole turned an inspiring story into a jab that he hopes A.J. is homeless again in three week. "They don't pay me enough to sit out here and call this stupid show," Cole added. Ziggler and A.J. found themselves in the ring together. A.J. slapped Ziggler, then fired off a right hand to bring in Primo. Primo landed a series of rolling elbows, but Ziggler caught Primo with the Zig-Zag for the pin and the win.
Post-match: Ziggler and Kaitlyn celebrated a bit too much for Vickie's liking. She slowly stepped off the ring steps and walked away selling agitation with Ziggler. Cole said maybe he should go console Vickie. They cut to an on-camera of Cole and Mathews, who didn't seem to know they were actually on-camera. They both looked haggard not "getting up" for the on-camera as they looked down at the monitors.
WINNERS: Ziggler & Kaitlyn. More of a Smackdown development with the Ziggler/Vickie relationship on the rocks. (*)
Rookie profile: Maxine. She talked about her upbringing and dancing background. You don't want to step on her. And she wants power and control.
Up next: A "Joke Off." Seriously.
In-ring: Matt Striker was with A.J. and Kaitlyn still in the ring back from break. He then introduced Aksana, Jamie, Maxine, and Week 1 stand-out Naomi as the remaining Rookies for this jokester competition. Striker welcomed everyone to Week 2 and reminded them whichever Diva wins the most competitions wins immunity. They will each be able to tell a joke, with the audience determining the winner.
A.J. did a blonde, red-head, and brunette joke. Apparently she was supposed to be intentionally corny. Aksana was next to do an over-the-top accent joke. Jaime was next and said she needs some help with the knock-knock joke. It was a rib on Aksana. Naomi was next with a shout-out to Detroit followed by the "dog with no legs" joke. Cole said he hopes Naomi wins so the show will end earlier. Maxine said she has five jokes in the ring with her right now. She pulled out a $20 and made a PG joke to A.J., which set off a PG cat fight. Striker tried to restore order before Kaitlyn did another knock-knock joke on A.J., which set off another cat fight. Mathews wanted to know where the joke was. Striker let things settle down and polled the audience. Jamie easily won the crowd reaction. Cole said this is ridiculous.
Suddenly, Cole walked over to a gong that was randomly placed ringside. Cole smashed the gong and said everyone should be gone. "Everyone in Detroit who bought a ticket to watch this should be gonged," he said. Cole said the whole NXT show should be gonged. And he banged the gong again. Up next: Aksana vs. Jamie. And back to Cole smashing the gong with a sneer on his face as they cut to break. I'll be surprised if this show makes it to September 28 before Syfy just takes it out of its misery.
In-ring: Back from break, the Bella Twins came out as Cole and Mathews continued to cackle. Cole noted he's been checking the Bellas out all day backstage. So, the Bellas are backing up Jamie for this. Goldust then came out to back Aksana. Cole said this is his pick to win NXT. "Goldust?" Mathews asked. Cole went creep-o mode some more saying he really likes how Aksana teases her hair.
2 -- AKSANA (w/Goldust) vs. JAMIE KEYES (w/Bella Twins)
Cole and Mathews suggested they should be Pros on the next season of NXT. Jamie won this with a roll-up in about two minutes.
WINNER: Jamie in 2:00. WWE has made it clear the match and in-ring action doesn't matter, as the challenges are the only way to "earn points" and earn immunity. I'm not even sure why they use a wrestling ring anymore. (n/a)
Rookie profile: Naomi. She has two challenges in the win column already. Next up is the obstacle course.
Announcers: Cole tried to get serious back form break plugging Night of Champions in five days. He fed to a video package on the "personal feud" between Undertaker and Kane. They include the old-school footage from the beginning of their feud starting with the first Hell in a Cell. They keep teasing a Paul Bearer return. Jim Ross's voice was heard as they showed more old-school clips of Kane's destruction while sporting the mask. They interjected Taker's 2010 promo describing Kane's twisted mentality. More clips of current Kane's destruction. "I'm not dead yet," Taker said in the voice-over. They went back and forth in the video package hyping the Night of Champions World Title match.
Announcers: Back to Cole and Mathews, who plugged the WWE website replay of tonight's episode tomorrow night, including Joey Styles's commentary. "Who?" Cole asked sheepishly before doing a Styles catchphrase.
Earlier tonight: Dolph and Kaitlyn celebrated their mixed tag victory, prompting Vickie to go from jubilation to disappointment. ... Backstage: Dolph and Kaitlyn talked up the win, then Vickie walked in. Vickie told Dolph that if he pulls that stunt again, he's going to lose all of this (she did a dream sequence-like body gyration to show Dolph what he will be losing). Dolph just rolled his eyes.
Still to come: obstacle course.
Obstacle course: Jamie won the joke-off, so she has one point in the competition. Naomi has two points from Week 1. And, another reminder, the outcome of wrestling matches does not matter. Before Kaitlyn could start, Vickie Guerrero interrupted. She told Kaitlyn that since she embarrassed him, she needs to win the obstacle course. Vickie said she's going to demonstrate. Vickie did some stretching like she was in a pilates class. Goldust was just leaning back sitting on the stage.
Vickie eventually ran the obstacle course in fine fashion. She lost her balance, though, halfway around. And, of course, she fell down face-first to draw laughs because it's WWE. Vickie then screamed and shrieked at no one in particular. She was too distraught to finish and screamed all the way up the ramp. She didn't actually finish, but crossed the yellow line at 1:27.2 and stomped off to the back. They suddenly cut to break.
Smackdown plugs: Smackdown moves to Syfy on October 1. Also, more Taker vs. Kane hype.
Moments Ago: Vickie Guerrero struggled with the obstacle course. Cole said she was embarrassed falling down. ... Back to the arena, Kaitlyn was up first in the obstacle course. Kaitlyn showed spunk completing the course with some added style points at 36.5. Aksana was next and finished at 37.2, just short of Kaitlyn. A.J., the Rookie that WWE has booked as an oddball, was next up. A.J. took too long on the push-ups and eventually finished a 46.0.
[Q5 -- over-run] Maxine was up next. She worked the course pretty well until slipping on the balance beam. She finished at 39.1, losing out thanks to the beam. Jamie was up next. Cole noted he called Cena vs. Orton in a tables match last night on Raw and now he's sitting around for this. Jamie ran the course well, but struggled to push the crate up the ramp, which cost her. She finished at 36.8, just short of Kaitlyn. Naomi was next and struggled at the start. She was then reprimanded for a push-attempt gone wrong. And the same with the balance beam. Naomi eventually finished at 57.4, just besting Vickie. So, Kaitlyn wins. And suddenly, everything is good with Vickie coming out to celebrate with Kaitlyn.
Ringisde: Cole had enough and went over to the gong. He smashed it over and over before taking the mic and saying this whole show is ridiculous. Cole said this whole show violates his journalistic integrity. "I was a war correspondent and now I'm covering this!" he said. Cole said he's done with the whole show and done with Mathews. Cole threw down the mic and walked off to the back as the Rookies and Pros taunted him. There's your write-off from the Tuesday night show for Cole to avoid (a positive development) an extra day on the road.
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