WWE Smackdown Report PARKS' WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 5/24: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Friday show, including the Intercontinental and U.S. Titles on the line, plus PPV fall-out
May 24, 2013 - 9:00:52 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
May 24, 2013
Taped 5/21/13 in Omaha, Neb.
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- WWE Open.
- The opening video package chronicled the end of the Triple H-Brock Lesnar feud, and the introduction of Curtis Axel, followed by Triple H’s mysterious mid-match injury. The latest on his condition will be revealed tonight. And tonight, Dean Ambrose defends his newly-won U.S. Title against Kofi Kingston in an Extreme Rules re-match.
- In the arena, The Miz’s music was playing. He was in the ring for Miz TV. He said he’ll not only host Miz TV, but soon after, he’ll regain the Intercontinental Championship. But first, his guest tonight is Fandango. Fandango and Summer Rae came to the ring in their usual way. They even danced in the ring as Miz stepped aside to allow it. Summer Rae was quite impatient in waiting for the microphone to be delivered so she could hand it to her man. Fandango gave the “shhhh” treatment to Miz as Miz tried to ask his first question. Fandango of course pronounced his name “correctly.” Miz cued up footage of his tag match with Wade Barrett against The Miz and Chris Jericho Monday night. Fandango danced at ringside while Barrett was left to take the loss. “Boy, did you look stupid there,” said Miz.
Miz said Fandango’s ego is more obnoxious than his name. Fandango responded that if anyone gets that close to Summer Rae again, he’ll dance all over their face. Fandango questioned Miz about his own ego, but Miz said he knows the difference between sport and entertainment. He said Fandango looked like a bag of Skittles dancing. The crowd loved that. “Bag of Skittles” chant, which may win the award for the most random wrestling chant of all-time. Fandango told Miz his lecture bored him and said Miz is just angry he didn’t think of doing that first. Wade Barrett’s music interrupted and the I.C. Champion came down the aisle with a mic in hand.
Barrett said he hasn’t encountered a more pathetic waste-of-skin in his entire life. He was talking about Fandango. He said Fandango would rather tiptoe through the tulips than fight. He said if they crossed paths again, he’d knock out every tooth in his head. Miz reminded Barrett that he’ll be defending the I.C. title against him tonight. And last Monday, he tapped Barrett out. Barrett responded with an elbow to the face. The two men brawled until referee Mike Chioda came to the ring to try to break it up. It would’ve been funny if Fandango and Summer just started dancing on the other side of the ring during this. They were finally broken up, and it looks like the match will begin after the break.
1 – THE MIZ vs. WADE BARRETT – INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Match was joined in progress out of break and Fandango was on commentary. Barrett placed Miz stomach-first across the top rope. He then laid a knee into the gut of Miz, good for a two-count. Fandango denied Summer Rae danced with Chris Jericho after the match on Raw, saying she was just trying to get away from him. As Miz set up for his corner clothesline, Fandango’s music began to play, and he and Summer Rae danced. Winds of Change by Barrett for two. Barrett tried a pump-handle slam, but Miz rolled him up for two. Miz dove at and kicked Fandango through the ropes. He then rolled Barrett up for another two-count. Dropkick to the knee led to a Figure-Four attempt, it was no good and Miz ended up in the ropes where Fandango kicked him for the disqualification.
WINNER: Miz, via DQ, 2:54 shown. Looks like Fandango vs. Miz will be the next feud. Either that, or Miz vs. the sound guy for playing Fandango’s music.
After the match, both Barrett and Fandango worked over the Miz until Barrett nailed Fandango with the bull hammer elbow. So, a three-way I.C. Title feud?
- Daniel Bryan was putting on his gear backstage when Kane walked up. Kane said he knows Bryan is upset, but they’re still a team. He said “we” lost the tag team titles. And Kane said he lost on Monday night. Bryan said Kane is implying he lost Monday night because Bryan wasn’t there for him. Bryan yelled that he wasn’t the weak link, then stormed off.
2 – JACK SWAGGER vs. DANIEL BRYAN
No entrance for Swagger, but Kane accompanied Bryan to the ring. Michael Cole clarified what was meant by Kane and Bryan in the backstage segment before the break, since it wasn’t as clear as it could’ve been. Suicide dive by Bryan on Swagger on the outside. He then kicked at the chest of Swagger as Swagger sat against the barricade. Top-rope missile dropkick by Bryan for two. Bryan hit the ropes and Swagger decked him with a clothesline. Bryan was hung in the tree of woe and Swagger just ran right into him. They went to break at 1:50 of the match.
Back at 5:20 of the match with Swagger still in control. A mid-ring collision put both men on the mat. Bryan hit a running dropkick on Swagger in the corner as Zeb Colter turned and put his head in his hands. Great shot there of the in-ring action and Zeb. Swagger picked Bryan up and slammed him after shrugging off a few Bryan kicks. Bryan countered the Patriot Lock into a roll-up for two, but a Swagger knee-lift put Bryan down. Swagger Bomb was countered and Bryan nailed Swagger in the head with a kick. But instead of making the cover, he shook his head “no” in the corner. JBL said Bryan has something to prove. He stomped on the head of Swagger over and over again then applied the No Lock. Swagger tapped.
WINNER: Bryan, via submission, at 8:35. Surprising result. We should consider ourselves lucky that even with Bryan in a full-time tag-team, WWE still sends Bryan out there each week in stellar singles matches.
Kane celebrated with Bryan in the ring, but Bryan had an angry look on his face. He applied the No Lock again, and it took Kane to peel him off Swagger. Bryan headed to the back without Kane, chanting “Yes!” all the way.
- A still picture was shown of Ryback driving John Cena through the screen at Extreme Rules. Cole said we’ll see the shocking conclusion to that match next.
- Michael Cole said WWE’s doctor, Dr. Sampson, claimed John Cena was just “banged up” and should be a go for Raw this coming week.
- They showed a video package of the beginning of Raw, with Ryback bringing an ambulance into the arena. They also showed him destroying Zack Ryder later on in the night.
- A graphic was shown for Ryback vs. John Cena for the WWE Title in an Ambulance match, June 16th at WWE Payback.
- Damien Sandow was in the ring with Matt Striker. There was black carpet and a brown table in the ring. Sandow complained about the one-upsmanship between Sheamus and Mark Henry that has taken place over the last several weeks. Sandow said the worst part is that the fans seem to be amused by it. He claimed those stunts appealed to the lowest common denominator. I was told there’d be no math. Sandow said the true measure of a man is his ability to engage in mental challenges. Sandow explained the tale of the Gordian Knot (I think that was an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark), which seemed to be placed in the middle of the table. He said that Striker, as a former educator (well, “substitute” teacher), would attempt to untie the Gordian Knot. Striker seemed to have a difficult time, then gave up rather quickly. Sandow congratulated him for renewing his “idiot license.” He also said he embarrassed the Substitute Teacher’s Union of America. I wish I knew about that entity when I was subbing. Sheamus interrupted and came to the ring.
Sheamus found it troubling that Sandow spends his time playing with knots. He told Sandow to get a social life. Sheamus offered to solve the puzzle for Sandow. As Sheamus attempted, Sandow took it away from him. He said to watch and learn. Sandow took out a pair of bolt-cutters and cut through the knot, allowing him to emerge victorious. The grin on his face was priceless. As he continued to gloat, Sheamus congratulated him. Sheamus said he’d be the bigger man and offered to congratulate him…with a Brogue Kick. But Sandow dodged it and said he knew Sheamus would resort to violence when he couldn’t beat the mental challenge. Sheamus said it’s good to learn new things and asked Sandow about Newton’s Law. Sheamus tossed Striker through the ropes and into Sandow, saying what goes up must come down. If you want to continue looking into the Sheamus = Heel theory, using the innocent Striker as a weapon there will play into that.
- Up next, Chris Jericho vs. Big Show.
3 – CHRIS JERICHO vs. THE BIG SHOW
Show grabbed Jericho and chopped him in the chest a number of times. Shot to the gut followed that up as the announcers argued about Johnny Depp. Big Show grabbed Jericho in a bear-hug. Show ran (walked quickly) into a boot from Jericho in the corner. Show was down to a knee, but got up to spear Jericho. Two-count at 2:00 of the match. Jericho countered a chokeslam and came off the top rope, but was felled by a chop to the chest. I hope he wasn’t planning on a double axe-handle, as I don’t know that it would have much effect on the dome of Show. Show went to the second rope and missed an elbowdrop. Lionsault to the back of Show for a two-count. Show caught Jericho on a Codebreaker attempt, but Jericho DDT’d Show for two. The Walls of Jericho was countered and Show caught Jericho in a choke and slammed him. Jericho rolled out of the ring. Show went after him and ended up being shoved into the steel post. Jericho gave Show the Codebreaker and Show fell over into the Timekeeper’s area. Jericho slid into the ring and Show was counted out.
WINNER: Jericho, via count-out, at 5:25. Combine a match with no hype or purpose with some silly commentary that doesn’t take the match seriously (at least at the beginning of the match), and there’s not a lot of reason to tune in.
Post-match, Jericho unloaded on Show with chair-shots, defending himself against Show, who had the chair first.
- Next, we’ll see what happened on Raw when Triple H took on Curtis Axel.
- Fans in the front row were shown drinking Sonic milkshakes. I think I’m going to get one this weekend. But not because of WWE.
- The exterior of the CenturyLink Center in Omaha was shown.
- The WWE Rewind aired.
- The announcers were shown on-camera and Cole said Triple H is suffering from post-concussion symptoms, and he’ll be out of action for “some time.”
- Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel came out. Heyman said he’s a “humble visionary” and said he’s known for being the advocate for Brock Lesnar, as well as the architect behind C.M. Punk’s great title reign. Heyman said when he points his finger at someone and calls them the next big thing, the people can invest stock in it. And his latest project is Curtis Axel. He allowed Axel the mic to talk about what happened on Raw. He said in one day, he accomplished more than his father and grandfather did in their entire careers combined. If he’s going to heel on his family, why is he named after them? Axel said the record books will show that he beat Triple H on Monday. Heyman applauded wildly. He said it was day one of building the brand of Curtis Axel. His music played and he embraced Heyman. Axel is in action next.
4 – CURTIS AXEL vs. SIN CARA
The special Sin Cara lighting was back, more of a yellow this time. Axel took Cara down with a waist-lock. Drop toe-hold, then Axel paint-brushed the back of Cara’s head. Cara responded with kicks and a head-scissors take-down. Axel, though, stomped away at Cara and sent him head-first into the buckle. On the WWE App, Randy Orton was shown doing an interview backstage. They’ve really held back on the App hype tonight. Handspring back-elbow from Cara, then a springboard cross-body for two. Cara went to the top but missed a splash. Axel took him down with what looked like a modified version of his old neckbreaker finisher. It was enough to seal the victory.
WINNER: Axel, at 3:04. Solid enough match as Cara bumped around well enough for the fans to get a taste of Axel’s offense.
- The United States Championship is on the line when Dean Ambrose faces Kofi Kingston. It’s next.
5 – KOFI KINGSTON vs. DEAN AMBROSE – UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Shoulder tackle by Ambrose, but Kofi responded with a dropkick. Kofi went for a quick roll-up for two. They continued going back-and-forth within the first few minutes. On the top rope, Kofi kicked Seth Rollins away, then came off onto Roman Reigns on the outside. Once Kofi got back into the ring, the rest of the Shield interfered for a DQ.
WINNER: Kingston, via DQ, at 2:31. We were robbed of a potentially great match.
Randy Orton and Sheamus ran down to save Kofi from the Shield beat-down. That led to Teddy Long coming down, saying the show will not end like this. Like what, 20 minutes early? So he made a six-man tag match. It’ll take place on the other side of the break.
6 – KOFI KINGSTON & RANDY ORTON & SHEAMUS vs. THE SHIELD
The match began during the break. Sheamus slammed Reigns and got one on a pin attempt. Orton tagged in as Sheamus held the hair of Reigns. The sound seems slightly behind the picture at this point for some reason. Rollins tagged in and he received a beating from Orton. Kofi tagged in and worked over Rollins as well. Rollins created enough separation to tag Ambrose, who immediately ran into an Orton clothesline. Neck-breaker by Sheamus and it’s been all babyfaces thus far. Rollins was caught coming off the second rope and Sheamus readied to lay in the forearms, but the other Shield members pulled him off the apron. They went to break at 4:27 of the match shown.
The Shield was in control until Rollins missed a shoulder charge in the corner. Orton made the hot tag and went to work. The match began to break down as Reigns knocked Orton out of the ring as he went after Rollins. Once the match moved back into the ring, Rollins took over control and tagged in Ambrose. Ambrose added a D-Lo Brown headshake before his emphatic elbowdrop to Orton. Rollins sent Orton head-first into the middle turnbuckle. Orton and Rollins battle in the corner and Orton got the best of o it with a superplex. Sheamus made the tag and he went after everyone. He finally got hold of Rollins and clobbered him with forearm shots. Reigns came in and speared Sheamus, but fell victim to an RKO outside the ring. Ambrose was in no condition to pin Sheamus however. Kingston tagged in and hit Ambrose with a cross-body for a near fall. Rollins grabbed Kingston’s leg, leading to Ambrose hitting is finisher on Kingston to end things.
WINNERS: The Shield, at approximately 14:14.
Some of the highlights of the match were replayed. The Shield celebrated in the ring as the show ended.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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