WWE Smackdown Report PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 5/16: Ongoing, not-quite-virtual time coverage of Friday show, including John Cena vs. a Wyatt Family member
May 16, 2014 - 9:58:38 PM
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WWE Smackdown review
May 16, 2014
Taped 5/13/14 in Greensboro, N.C.
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
- WWE Open.
- A video package aired of Daniel Bryan-related happenings from Raw Monday night.
- A graphic aired promising a Daniel Bryan surgery update tonight on Smackdown.
- But first, John Cena! As Cena came to the ring, they played part of Bray Wyatt’s backstage promo from Raw. In the ring, Cena gave his best wishes to Bryan for a speedy recovery from neck surgery. Cena said he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be replying to tonight, because Bray Wyatt’s promo was full of empty words. He brought up the Last Man Standing challenge, and the match itself. He pointed out that he and JBL had a hell of a LMS match at one time. Cena called Wyatt “dangerous,” but said he didn’t have balls. Well, he used every euphemism for that, anyway. He said it’s obvious he does have a brain either, because he’s accepting the Last Man Standing challenge. He turned his attention to tonight, making an open challenge to any Wyatt Family member. He said he’d let Bray decide who he’d face. That’s a lot of caveats for a supposed “open challenge.” Cena assumed Bray wouldn’t choose himself.
The Wyatt flash-cut occurred next and Bray cut a backstage promo. He said he could be the most dangerous man in the world, if he felt like it. He said whoever will be the LMS will concur all, while the loser will be trapped in a prison of his own mind. Wyatt encouraged Cena to keep making his jokes. He thanked Cena for helping him find something within him that he didn’t even know existed – a cure that will take the air from Cena’s lungs. A “Cena” chant took place in the arena while this was going on. Wyatt did his song, as usual, then it cut away.
- The Usos are in action next, against The Rhodes Brothers.
1 – GOLDUST & CODY RHODES vs. THE USOS
No entrance for the Rhodes Brothers. Also a non-title match. A few deep arm-drags by Jey Usos on Goldust early on. They exchanged shoves as well. Jimmy worked an arm-bar on Cody. Sunset flip out of the corner by Cody for only two. Jackknife cover followed, again for two. Goldust tagged in and took over on offense. Cody paid for a cheap-shot on Jimmy. The match rolled on at 3:57.
Back at 7:53 of the match, with Cody and Goldust still in control. No real problems hinted at thus far with the Rhodes brothers. Cody worked the arm of one of Jey. Cody kept cutting off his momentum. An enziguiri felled Rhodes at 10:02 of the match. Goldust had the advantage after a tag, until Jey low-bridged Goldie out of the ring. Jimmy final made the tag and worked over Cody. A corner butt splash registered a near-fall for Jimmy. Cross Rhodes was countered and Jimmy hit a Whisper in the Wind-like move off the top. After Goldust broke up the pin, he was knocked off the apron. A Disaster Kick by Cody got two, as the pin was broken up by Jey. That led to Jimmy superkicking Cody and hitting a splash off the top for the win.
WINNERS: The Usos, at 12:39. Good enough match, though the middle was a little dull.
The finish was replayed. At ringside, Cody seemed upset that he took the fall.
- Tonight, we’ll see how justice was served by The Shield Monday night.
- A Dolph Ziggler Tweet was shown on the screen, claiming Batista is the weak link of Evolution. Therefore, Dolph will take on Batista tonight.
- The most-watched shows on the WWE Network for last week were shown.
2 – EL TORITO vs. HEATH SLATER
No entrances for any group. Slater apparently Tweeted a challenge to Torito earlier in the week, making at least two matches on this week’s show that were set-up via Twitter. Slater messed with Torito a little bit, then chased him around the ring. He grabbed the bull by the horns by…well…grabbing the bull by the horns. Slater finally caught him and bodyslammed him. He then posed for the fans. Slater stood on the back of Torito. Los Matadores tried to fire up the crowd to get them in Torito’s corner. Slater missed a corner splash and charged at Slater, but Slater held him at bay with one arm. HE called for Hornswoggle to enter the ring, but Horny headbutted Slater in the crotch. Torito gored Horny out of the ring, then did a springboard moonsault onto Slater for the win.
WINNER: Torito, at 2:20. You can’t stop El Torito; you can only hope to contain him.
Hornswoggle’s involvement in the match was replayed.
- Michael Cole and JBL talked on-camera about the brewing “war” (there’s that word again…) between The Shield and Evolution. He kicked it to a video package involving those two groups Monday night.
- A graphic was shown for The Shield vs. Evolution at Payback. No stipulation was announced.
- Next, Nikki Bella takes on Natalya. Eva Marie is the special guest referee because Total Divas.
3 – NATALYA vs. NIKKI BELLA – EVA MARIE AS SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE
Clip from Total Divas: Natalya thinks she’s an artist. Okay then. Thesz Press by Nikki on Natalya. Nattie slapped Nikki on the bottom, then grounded her with a headlock take-over. Nattie bridged out of a cover and gave Nikki a twisting clothesline. A forearm by Nikki caught Natalya flush in the face. Nikki sent Nattie face-first into her knee for two. The announcers spent some time making fun of Eva Marie. Surfboard applied by Natalya. It was turned into a pin with both women’s shoulders on the mat. Eva appeared to not know what to do. It was made easier when Nikki flipped it and held Nattie’s legs down with her own for the win.
WINNER: Nikki, at 2:28. Natalya is a lot more flexible and athletic in the ring than I think she is generally given credit for being.
- Dolph Ziggler was backstage with Renee Young. She asked him why he’d interject himself into the Evolution-Shield feud. Ziggler said Batista’s return has been a disappointment and that he didn’t evolve. Ziggler told Batista not to underestimate him.
4 – DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. BATISTA
Early on, the fight went outside the ring, where Batista battered Ziggler. He drove him back-first into the apron, then whipped the show-off into the steps. Batista whipped Ziggler hard into the turnbuckle when they returned to the ring. Standing vertical suplex for a two-count at 2:21. Ziggler leapt into Batista’s arms – a bad decision, as Batista caught him and gave him a spinebuster. In a desperation move, Ziggler DDT’d Batista. Both men were down. Ziggler started coming back, with Ziggler doing the ten-punches in the corner, but Batista gave him a low blow in full view of the ref, leading to a disqualification.
WINNER: Ziggler, via DQ, at 4:34. Ziggler beat Batista! Mark it down! Anyway, Ziggler could probably make me look good (okay, not me, but someone like me) in the ring, so Batista did well to toss him around for a few minutes.
After the match Batista gave Ziggler a powerbomb. He left the ring, returned, and continued assaulting Ziggler. They went outside the ring, where Batista powerbombed Ziggler back-first onto the barricade. Batista’s attack was replayed.
- After the announcers talked on-camera, a graphic aired for Cena vs. Wyatt, Last Man Standing Match, at Payback.
- Later tonight, Cena vs. a Wyatt family member.
- Sheamus was walking backstage. He’s in action, next.
- A Bo Dallas vignette aired.
5 – SHEAMUS vs. TITUS O’NEIL
Sheamus did an inset interview as he came to the ring talking about how he is now United States Champion. Then they showed Sheamus winning the title two weeks ago on Raw. When Titus came to the ring, they showed his attack on Sheamus from Raw three weeks ago. Titus got the mic and mocked Sheamus, saying he didn’t pin anybody to win the title and isn’t even from the United States. “You’re a tough guy, Sheamus…but so are the Divas.” I’m sure they were thrilled with that comment. Titus offered Sheamus a chance to get out of the match, then demanded the bell be rung. A Brogue Kick right at the bell led to Sheamus’s win.
WINNER: Sheamus, at :18. Titus on the mic is somewhat hilarious, but unintentionally so sometimes.
- Byron Saxton was standing outside Adam Rose’s party bus, where Rose’s entourage was just jumping around. One of the Rosebuds called for Rose to come out of the bus. He did so and talked to Saxton. Some music was playing in the background. When Rose called on him, a man dressed somewhat as a cheeseburger said he was delicious. Rose said his problem with Zeb Colter is that he and Jack Swagger are bitter little lemons. A little guy dressed as a lemon ran around them. Rose gave Saxton a lollipop and put a multi-colored wig on Saxton’s hair. Saxton proceeded to enter the party bus with everyone else. I can safely say that was one of the odder transcriptions I’ve ever done.
- Hey, the WWE App won a Webby Award!
6 – DAMIEN SANDOW vs. SANTINO MARELLA
Sandow had accepted Marella’s challenge tonight. No word on if the challenge was made on Twitter. Emma came to the ring with Marella. After a missed charge, Santino took out the Cobra. He stung Sandow with it for a quick win.
WINNER: Santino, at :41. Nothing to this one.
After the match, Emma and Santino hugged, and the hug took Emma to the floor. Sandow got on the mic and said he’s a good soldier, because people like seeing the smart guy lose. He said they made the mistake of keeping the mic turned on, so he tried to rant, but they cut him off. He made a sign with his arms, yelling that he’s being “handcuffed.”
- John Cena was involved with the Susan G. Komen race for the cure in Washington. He was the grand marshal, and we saw highlights from his appearance.
- Tonight, John Cena vs. a Wyatt family member, chosen by Bray.
- R-Truth was in the ring out of break. Paul Heyman walked out from backstage. Heyman said the opposition tonight is an advocate for “the truth.” But he said Truth can’t handle the truth. Hey, there’s the Brock Lesnar-conquered-the-Streak quote. He also talked up Cesaro’s win of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. And the Triple-Threat Elimination Match at Extreme Rules. He said Cesaro is “what’s up.”
7 – R-TRUTH vs. CESARO
As Cesaro came to the ring, they showed Cesaro attacking RVD’s eye on Raw two weeks ago, leading to him being DQ’d. Truth was attacked at the bell when he yelled “what’s up!” to the crowd. Roll-up by Truth for two. An axe kick missed, so Cesaro hit him with a huge uppercut. Neutralizer followed for the win.
WINNER: Cesaro, at 1:11. Good squash for Cesaro.
- Up next, Daniel Bryan’s surgery update.
- The Raw Rebound aired.
- Yesterday, Daniel Bryan underwent successful neck surgery. We’ll hear from Daniel Bryan on Monday, hopefully with an update on his surgery. Really? THAT’S all they provided in the update for tonight?
- The state of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship will be addressed Monday on Raw.
- John Cena, then the Wyatts, came to the ring. The Wyatts surrounded the ring and got on the apron, with Bray not giving away who he had chosen as Cena’s opponent. Before the Wyatts could get any closer, the Usos came to the ring to even the odds.
- Back from break, Bray still had not chosen Cena’s opponent. Finally, after whispering in Erick Rowan’s ear, the big man entered the ring. No surprise there.
8 – JOHN CENA vs. ERICK ROWAN
Cena ran into a hard back elbow from Rowan. Cena was thrown out of the ring, right in front of Bray and Luke Harper. Cena was whipped into the steel steps by Rowan. Cena powered out of a rest-hold and dropkicked Rowan. Back-breaker from Rowan. After bringing Rowan down throat-first across the top rope, Cena was clotheslined down. He nearly ran Cena over with a shoulder tackle. A bear-hug was applied as Cena tried to power out. Rowan turned the move into a side slam for two at 6:00. Cena hit a few of his trademark moves. However, a fallaway slam by Rowan put him back in the driver’s seat. Splash in the corner by Rowan. Cena ducked a kick and applied the STF in the middle of the ring. Bray invited Harper to charge the ring. He did so, and the Usos took him out. Double suicide dive onto Harper outside the ring. Cena walked into a claw slam by Rowan for two. Pump-handle slam was countered into an Attiude Adjustment for the win for Cena.
WINNER: Cena, at 8:22.
Cena stood in the ring, eyes locked on Bray, as the show ended.
Did you watch Friday's Smackdown episode? Send your 0-10 score & Reax to firstname.lastname@example.org for our TV Reax feature.
Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. He is the host of “Moonlighting with Greg Parks,” a PWTorch VIP-exclusive audio show posted each weekend. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.
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