WWE Main Event TV results
October 30, 2013
Taped 10/29/13 in Tampa, Fla.
Aired on Ion Television
By Michael Cupach, PWTorch contributor

[Q1]

-WWE open.

-Main Event opening followed by no pyro, and Josh Mathews welcomes everyone to Main Event. Kofi Kingston’s music starts the show and is in action first!

-Ryback is out next, sans Paul Heyman, who is nowhere to be found by anyone. Josh wishes The Miz a happy, early Halloween!

1 - KOFI KINGSTON vs. RYBACK

Ryback overpowers Kofi to start and backs him into the corner. Kofi tries some offense, but gets cut off by Ryback with a shoulder block. Josh is wondering if Paul Heyman will ever be seen in WWE again after the vicious beating he took from C.M. Punk. Did Josh watch Hell in a Cell? If he did, I don’t know how he can say “vicious beating” while keeping a straight face! Ryback tries a headlock takeover, but Kofi uses his educated legs to fight out.

Kofi attempts Trouble in Paradise, but Ryback telegraphed it and rolls to the floor. Ryback thinks he has outsmarted Kofi, but Kofi dives over the top rope with a plancha to take out Ryback! Kofi springboards off the steel steps with an axehandle to take Ryback down. Kofi rolls Ryback into the ring. Kofi tries getting back in, but gets kicked to the floor, sending Main Event to its first break 4:06 into the action!

(Commercial)

“Action” resumes with a vicious, neck-wrenching, paralysis-inducing chinlock! Ryback releases the hold seconds before this becomes a national news story and delivers a beautiful-looking vertical delayed suplex! Ryback chops Kofi in the corner as the crowd “woo’s” along. (I thought chopping was a no-no these days!) Kofi tries mounting a comeback, but Ryback picks him up and drives him hard into the far turnbuckle. He then tosses Kingston across the ring! (I just noticed that Kofi has a picture of the Batman villain Bane on his trunks! That is pretty cool, big Bane fan here!) Ryback is firmly in control and playing with Kofi a little bit. He puts Kofi in a Torture Rack-like move, then Kofi slips out and tries a backslide, but Ryback blocks it and hangs Kofi up on the top rope!

Ryback calls for the meathook clothesline. Kofi reverses it into what started as a SOS and turns it into a DDT! Both men are down and out, then Kofi is up first and chops away on Ryback and takes him down with a running double chop. Boom Drop from Kofi connects and he calls for Trouble in Paradise, but Ryback catches Kofi mid-air and Kofi turns it into a roll-up for two!

[Q2] Cross-body from Kingston gets another two count on Ryback. Ryback then digs deep and pulls Kofi down hard onto the middle rope to choke him. Ryback goes to the middle turnbuckle and jumps off into a boot from Kofi. Missile dropkick from Kofi gets a two count! Meathook clothesline from Ryback knocks Kofi out cold and the Shellshock puts him away!

WINNER: Ryback by pinfall in 14:04.

-Last Monday, Damien Sandow cashed in his briefcase and lost to John Cena! My first impression is that Superman turned in his blue tights and red cape for a pink “Rise Above Cancer” shirt and jorts! John Cena will be on Smackdown this Friday!

-Santino makes his entrance, he is in action next!

(Commercial)

-3MB are out next, Heath is in singles action against Santino!

2 - SANTINO MARELLA vs. HEATH SLATER (w/3MB)

Santino is knocked down early. Heath plays guitar for the crowd and Santino botches a nip up. Forget Rodney, this is real comedy gold! "/sarcasm." Santino teases The Cobra and Heath bails to have a band meeting. After some serious stalling, they go into comedy spots with Santino doing his power walk after being whipped into the ropes.

Side headlock from Heath, then Marella fights out, but catches a big right hand to the face. Heath whips Santino to the outside, but Santino catches himself and tries skinning the cat back in, but has trouble pulling it off. I get it, he thinks he is Shawn Michaels, oh that is rich! Hip toss and flying chop from Santino. He whips it out…The Cobra that is... Then, Santino uses The Cobra to take out Slater and all members of 3MB, then pins Slater.

WINNER: Santino Marella by pinfall in 4:28.

[Q3]

-Still to come, more happenings from Raw!

(Commercial)

Ah, it is the bi-quarterly Raw Rebound. This time it features Randy Orton winning the WWE Title at Hell in a Cell and his celebration the next night on Raw. It also shows Big Show ruining Orton's party. If WWE wanted to sell Big Show being banned from WWE, they would refuse to show any footage of him crashing Raw or any other show.

-Back at the announce booth, Josh throws to clips of the Michael Cole and Triple H’s weekly sit-down meetings. Cole reads David Otunga’s analysis of Big Show's lawsuit and Triple H responds by calling it a frivolous lawsuit and Otunga a hack lawyer. Hunter then drops the bomb that Big Show is banned from WWE for life.

-Summer Rae dances out on the stage and I forget what I’m doing. Oh ya, Main Event, got it. Fandango joins her on stage wearing a pink Fandango shirt. They tango to the ring and he will face a former World Champion when Main Event returns!

(Commercial)

-Fudge. Great Khali is out with “gal-pal” Natalya and Hornswoggle. Khali is the former World champion Fandango is facing. How come WWE never points out that “What Else is On” is always trending on Twitter when Khali is wrestling?

3 - FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae) vs. GREAT KHALI (w/Natalya and Hornswoggle)

Fandango dances and avoids Khali to start. Khali catches him and chops him to the mat.

[Q4] Khali backs Fandango to the turnbuckle and back-elbows him. Why couldn’t Khali attack Triple H and be banned from WWE for life? Fandango escapes to the floor to be consoled by Summer Rae. Hornswoggle gets in his face, Fandango takes offense, and Khali sneaks up on Fandango to toss him back in the ring. How does Khali sneak up on anyone? Fandango chops Khali down by attacking the knee, just like every wrestler has done in the last seven years. Khali is in such pain that all he can do is lay around.

Fandango goes up top, but jumps off into a boot from Khali. Khali calls for the chop, but Summer Rae distracts Khali and Fandango clips his knee then goes up top and connects with the top-rope leg drop for the win.

WINNER: Fandango by pinfall in 3:29.

-Josh throws to a sneak peak of the second half of Total Divas, which debuts in eleven days. Worlds are colliding! Total Divas have infiltrated Main Event and is killing independent Mike!

-Los Matadores and El Torito do their schtick and have a match next!

(Commercial)

4 - LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. LOS LOCALES

No entrance for Los Locales, they just appear! Miz plugs that his alma mater, Normandy High School, has a poor Spanish program! Diego starts with El Jobberino, who has a similar body type to Ricardo Rodriguez. Diego gets a series of armdrags on Jobberino and tags in Fernando. More fancy armdrags and yelling of “Ole!”

The skinny Los Locales member is tagged in and he gets a series of nearfalls and a pinning sequence with Fernando. Los Locales double-team Fernando to get the upper hand. El Jobberino stomps the hand of Fernando and then tags in his skinny counterpart, who uses his legs to put a sleeper hold on the Matadore!

All hell breaks loose when El Torito brings himself into the match to help his handler. Torito senton splashes El Jobberino on the floor, which apparently is legal! Los Matadores double-team the remaining Locales and put him away with their double team Samoan Drop.

WINNER: Los Matadores by pinfall in 5:07.

Mike's Reax: I don’t have to say it, you should know I did not like this. Is the bull allowed into the match because he is a little person and doesn’t count or is it so silly that it doesn’t matter? Either answer leads to stupidity, in my opinion.

So, the show started with a decent enough Ryback versus Kofi match, not a good or great match, but decent. After that match, this show featured Raw Rebounds, comedy matches, Total Divas, and Khali matches. I am not exactly going out on a limb by saying this was the worst episode of Main Event I have ever seen! It’s good to be back...

Thank you for reading! For more from me, please follow me on Twitter @MJCupach. Also, check out my weekly Smackdown blog and answers from me on the Ask the Torch All-Star Panel for more thoughts from me!

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