Magic, Memories, and Mania VALENTINO'S MAGIC, MEMORIES & MANIA: A Holiday Wish List for Top Wrestlers in 2012
Jan 1, 2012 - 12:41:27 PM
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By Shawn Valentino, PWTorch Specialist
Happy holidays, Torch readers! It is that most special time of year, and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas sitting around the tree sharing your favorite wrestling stories with your loved ones. Well, probably not, but hopefully some of you received your favorite wrestling DVD or game from Santa. Christmas actually was once a big day for wrestling events, and even it is no longer so, this is a time to make some wishes for the new year. In the spirit of the season, here is a holiday wish list to make the New Year a more memorable one. (Also, I just read my list from last year. Check out which wishes remain unchanged. But, the most important wish of all was fulfilled. Cody Rhodes did get his kneepads.)
John Cena: A complete overhaul of his character that at least has some semblance of cool factor.
C.M. Punk: An editor. I do not like overly-scripted characters, but somebody needs to step in and stop the product-diminishing shoot comments. He does not need it.
Randy Orton: A long title reign. Orton, and the championship, can benefit from a long run as champion.
Robert Roode: A long reign as a heel World champion.
Randy Savage and Elizabeth: A posthumous Hall of Fame induction.
Shawn Michaels: Fulfill wrestling fans’s dreams with a return match against The Rock.
Jim Ross: A return to his rightful role as play-by-play man on Raw.
Michael Cole: Character consistency, and a role as manager or heel color commentator.
Dolph Ziggler: A new name. It is unfathomable how bad the WWE’s creative team has been in coming up with catchy names that make their wrestlers sound like stars. Ziggler’s name make him sound like an extra on-set for an adult film.
Jeff Hardy: Proper rehab.
Matt Hardy: Proper rehab and interests outside of being in the spotlight.
Brock Lesnar: A properly-built WWE return match.
John Morrison: Acting lessons.
Kevin Nash: A retirement gift thanking him for his service, and making sure he does not come back.
Scott Hall: Enlightenment.
Mark Henry: A template for WWE writers. I thought Henry should have been off television over a decade ago, but this is the classic case of simple booking showcasing a character’s strengths. The creative staff should learn from this and focus on stronger, well-defined characters.
Sin Cara: Another chance to exhibit his unique talents.
Triple H: One more show-stealing match against Undertaker.
Undertaker: One more show-stealing match against Triple H.
James Storm: Creative control over his character. He may be the best act in wrestling today.
Hulk Hogan: A job with WWE Network. Here’s hoping the Hulkster leaves TNA, and he returns home to WWE as a host or some type of figure on the new WWE channel.
Ric Flair: See Hulk Hogan.
Bautista: A return to WWE as the terrific heel he was before he left.
Chris Jericho: See Bautista.
Dixie Carter: A noose on the TNA purse strings. Let's face it. The last five years have been a financial disaster, and it is time for Bob Carter to stop wasting his money and realize that his daughter is not meant to be in the wrestling business. The vanity project needs to end!
The Rock: The good sense to do something about WWE needlessly bringing him down.
Steve Austin: A job as head of WWE Creative.
Vince McMahon: Better luck on the WWE Network than he had with the XFL, etc. Also, for the sake of the viewing audience, please ditch the awful politician coif for your old hairstyle!
For WWE Fans: The return of the old ice cream bars. Punk is not exaggerating. Those really were that good!
If any fellow fans have a list of wishes, please post it here or feel free to email me. Happy holidays everyone!
Please seed questions, comments, and feedback to valentino.torch@gmail.com and check out my debut book, "The Showstopper Lifestyle," available on Amazon.com.
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