SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN
JULY 28, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.
BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-Teddy Long introduced the show by telling viewers if they missed the Great American Bash, they missed a hell of a show. He said new tag champs were crowned, and that Undertaker became the no. 1 contender. He said he was going to formally announce the main event of Summerslam, a “one on one match…” at which point JBL interrupted. JBL made a case that he guaranteed he’d beat Batista – and he did. He said the only reason he is not the World Champion is because Batista got himself DQ’d on purpose by breaking a metal chair across his back. He said he demands to be part of the Summerslam title opportunity.
Long said he would get a title shot some day, but that day would not be at Summerslam. He said Undertaker is the no. 1 contender. JBL told Long he didn’t read his contract. He said he had a clause added that specifically said if he beat Batista and somehow didn’t win the World Title, that he, not Undertaker, would get the first match for the World Title against Batista, not in a three-way, not in a four-way, not in a battle royal, but a one-on-one match. He said if it doesn’t happen, he would sue Long personally for breach of contract.
Long said, “This is not a court of law, this is Smackdown, and Smackdown is my show and I run things around here,” said Long. He said he would have a match to determine who truly deserves a title shot. JBL told him not to screw him and put his name on the contract. Long announced JBL vs. Undertaker one-on-one later. Long strutted to the back to his music as JBL gulped in center-ring.
Good delivery by both Long and JBL, even though the storyline is a bit convoluted. The notion that JBL had the foresight to add to his contract that if he won the match but not the title, that he’d get the first one-on-one title match is a stretching it. The idea that Long can just ignore it because he says so invalidates any consistency of logic in the future about the enforceability of contracts. Either the contract said that and JBL should insist it be enforced (and Long should have his legal team review the details better) or it doesn’t exist and that should be established.
[Commercial Break]
-Michael Cole and Tazz plugged Torrie Wilson vs. Melina one-on-one later.
1 — CHRISTIAN & ORLANDO JORDAN vs. BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) & CHRIS BENOIT
Jordan came out with his shoulder taped, stemming from his match against Chris Benoit at the Bash. As Booker came out, a fan held up a sign that said, “My fish was named Booker T.” Benoit and Booker jump-started the match and knocked the heels to ringside to regroup within a few seconds. Booker leaped to ringside and threw Jordan back into the ring. Benoit immediately applied a Crippler Crossface. Christian broke it up before a potentially fast tapout by Jordan. Christian worked over Benoit with some holds for a few minutes.
[Commercial Break]
Benoit eventually hot-tagged Booker, but eventually the heels worked him over. Benoit led the crowd in chants of “Booker T, Booker T.” Benoit got the hot-tag at 16:00 and made Orlando tapout to the Crossface. Christian could have broken up the Crossface, but hesitated and then rolled out of the ring instead. The announcers drew attention to his decision.
WINNER: Benoit at 17:34.
STAR RATING: **1/2 — Above average tag. Pretty formula.
-Heidenreich told Animal backstage that he feels bad because he can’t replace Hawk. Animal said nobody is asking him to replace Hawk, “but there is a time for new beginnings.” He said Heidenreich has heart. Animal handed Heidenreich clippers and told him to share his head like Hawk. Heidenreich began to clip as they cut to highlights of the Bash PPV.
[Commercial Break]
-Cole introduced a highlight package on the Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero match from the Bash as one of the most emotional matches he’s ever seen. They went to freeze-frame highlights of the match that captured the highpoints. They showed actual footage of Rey scoring the pin and celebrating with Dominic.
2 — ANIMAL & HEIDENREICH vs. CHRIS HAMMRICK & CHUCK SEALY
Heidnereich’s haircut ended up more like Animals than Hawk in that it was a traditional mohawk, not an inverted one.
WINNERS: Heidenreic & Animal at 0:32 with the Doomsday Device.
STAR RATING: n/a
-They cut backstage to MNM watching the match on a monitor. They vowed to win back their belts. Melina said first things first. She said they need to put a positive spin on things and they found themselves Hollywood’s biggest publicist. “We are so going to be on the cover of Smackdown magazine!” Mercury and Nitro celebrated. She said there’s a catch. After what happened at the Bash, she has hired a “fixer” – someone who turns a negative into a positive. Mercury and Nitro were excited that it was a woman. Jillian walked in and said that Nitro and Mercury cannot be at ringside for Melina’s match against Torrie later, but she’ll be at ringside for Melina to offset Michelle being at ringside for Torrie. Then she turned her face, revealing a big growth on her left side. Everyone made grossed out faces. When she left the room, Mercury asked Nitro, “Would you?”
-Backstage Dominic asked Rey what the secret is that Eddie hasn’t told. Rey said now isn’t the time, but when he’s older, he’ll let him know.
[Commercial Break]
-Rey Mysterio and Dominic walked out. Dominic seemed excited to be cheered by all of the fans. Cole observed that for the first time in years, Rey looks “alive.” He said the weight of the world had been taken off of his shoulders. Eddie Guerrero came out onto the stage and said he never loses. He then said the least creative, more predictable secret possible. He said that he is Dominic’s real dad. Dominic asked if it was really true. Rey got on his knees and cried. Dominic took several steps back and then ran away through the crowd. Eddie walked to the ring and said, “I’m not that bad, am I?” He asked if he smells of something. He asked for a chair, sat in mid-ring, and said it’s time for a bed time story. He said there was a time when he had sex with a lot of women. Once a woman told him she was pregnant. He said he didn’t want any part of it, and neither did she because she already had seven. He said Rey and his wife were trying to do the same thing, but “unfortunately, Rey was shooting a lot of blanks.” He said when his little bambino came into the world, out of the goodness of his heart, he gave the baby to Rey to raise as his own son. He said there were never any adoption papers, but everyone was happy. He said he couldn’t wait to reveal chapter two of this bedtime story next week.
[Commercial Break]
-Cole and Tazz talked about how disgusted they were with Guerrero airing dirty laundry like that.
3 — TORRIE WILSON (w/Michelle McCool) vs. MELINA (w/Jillian Hall)
They blurred out Melina’s butt as she entered the ring doing the splits. Tazz and Cole spent the entire ring entrance and match discussing how gross Hall’s facial growth is. Cole had enough once Tazz speculated that the growth might be spuring puss or even be alive, so eventually he told Tazz to shut up.
WINNER: Melina at 4:22 with her feet on the ropes.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Melina just beat up Torrie for three minutes.
-A guy in charge of concessions backstage told the Mexicools to sell popcorn. They laughed that he thought they were concessionaires.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of “PWTorch ’90s Pastcast” with Patrick Moynahan and Alex McDonald, part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “wade keller” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
4 — WILLIAM REGAL & SCOTTY 2 HOTTY vs. MEXICOOLS
The match never took place since the Mexicools came out with popcorn and sodas and began handing them out at ringside. When the ref told them to get into the ring, they attacked him and poured pop and soda on him. They attacked Scotty and Regal and did the same to them.
[Commercial Break]
-The Raw Rebound aired.
-JBL came to the ring for the TV main event. Undertaker’s ring entrance then took place.
[Commercial Break]
4 — JBL (w/Orlando Jordan) vs. UNDERTAKER — Winner Faces Batista at Summerslam
Cole and Tazz talked about how Undertaker destroyed Hassan, Daivari, and their sympathizers. Taker dominated the first five minutes of the match.
[Commercial Break]
Jordan continued to interfere on JBL’s behalf. Taker walked the top rope and came off with a forearm. JBL fired back with a low blow, then hit a DDT and scored a two count. JBL applied a cobra clutch. Taker sat up and began no-selling. They exchanged punches. Taker gave JBL a big boot, knocking JBL into the ref. Jordan entered the ring with a chair. Taker kicked the chair into Jordan’s face. Taker set up Jordan for a Last Ride. JBL grabbed a chair and KO’d Taker. The ref came to and counted a near three count. Taker then sat up and gave JBL a chokeslam. Jordan ran into the ring. Taker punched Jordan, who knocked the referee down. Taker then gave JBL a Tombstone. Cole declared that Taker is headed to Summerslam, which gave away that Taker wouldn’t be winning the match. Randy Orton ran in and gave Taker an RKO. Then Orton draped JBL’s arm over Taker. The ref re-entered the ring and counted the pin.
WINNER: JBL at 16:40.
STAR RATING: **1/2 — Okay TV main event.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.