SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 30 years ago this week in the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter paper copy…
KELLER’S WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
JANUARY 15, 1996
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER (ISSUE #370)
-The show opened with a clip of Martin Luther King…
-A clip aired of Sunny lying in a sexy pose as Raw was previewed, including a plug for another Billionaire Ted skit. Dok Hendrix was in the locker room area saying he heard Razor Ramon is headed to the building to confront Goldust during Goldust’s scheduled interview…
(1) Owen Hart pinned Marty Jannetty at 8:18. Jannetty was okay in the match, but the difference between Owen’s matches with Jannetty and with Michaels really shows how far ahead Michaels is of his former tag partner. During the match Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler speculated about possible face-offs in the Rumble, including Vader and Yokozuna. Lawler said Goldust will tell Ramon he’s signed him up to the “Panty of the Month Club.” Lawler wondered if Jake Roberts would be allowed to bring a snake with him…
-Todd Pettengill announced that before Royal Rumble goes on the air, the Preview Channel will air a 30 minute special called “WWF Free For All.” He said that while the WWF wrestlers will choose numbers, two will draw blanks. Those two wrestles face off on the preview show and the winner of the match will get slot no. 30 and the loser will get slot no. 1. That’s a heck of a concept. A soundbite aired with Diesel where he addressed Vader’s participation. A Vader highlight clip aired. Pettengill stressed that Royal Rumble, unlike recent In Your House matches, would not be available anywhere but on pay-per-view… A bumper aired with Sunny seductively blowing on a pool cue and then leaning over showing cleavage. She said, “You like it, I like it, everybody likes it Raw”…
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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(2) The Ringmaster (Steve Austin, mgd. by Ted DiBiase) defeated Matt Hardy with the Million Dollar Man. During the match, Lawler acknowledged the New York Daily News mention of Billionaire Ted skits…
-A feature aired on Shawn Michaels including him sporting a new hair style. The usual fare these days on Michaels, portraying him as charismatic and inspirational…
The Smoking Gunns beat The Spiders, although the match was joined in progress in order to allot time to the third “Billionaire Ted’s Warroom” skit…
-Vince McMahon interviewed Goldust in mid-ring. Lawler narrated Beavis & Butt-head style, suggesting McMahon’s chest hairs were as fake as Goldust’s hair. McMahon called Goldust unnerving. Goldust reached up and touched McMahon’s right ear. McMahon threw his hand up to shove Goldust away. Lawler accused McMahon of being homophobic. McMahon asked Goldust if he was serious or trying to unnerve Ramon. Goldust said, “Mr. Television announcer, is that an extra microphone in your pants or are you just happy to see me.” Lawler laughed hysterically as they showed a close-up of McMahon’s face. Goldust said he wanted Ramon so bad, more than any man or woman can ever want a human being. Lawler said, “Goldust’s here, he may be queer, get used to it because he’s gonna be your next Intercontinental Champion.” Dok announced Ramon has just pulled into the parking lot…
-After a commercial, Dok tried to interview Ramon, but Ramon stormed past him to get Goldust in the locker room. Lawler said Ramon is jealous of the attention Goldust gave to McMahon. Lawler said he wouldn’t be scared to face Goldust because he doesn’t believe what he says, anyway…
(3) Undertaker defeated Isaac Yankem. There was as much fire in this match as there is at the bottom of the ocean. Not exactly electrifying. During what must have been a messed up move, they cut to Dok pacing in the locker room area waiting for Ramon…
-Backstage, as Goldust talked to Dok, Ramon attacked Goldust and shoved several referees and officials. Goldust stopped Ramon with a lowblow. Ramon attacked Goldust after the commercial as Goldust tried to leave the arena. Ramon threw Goldust out of the arena into the parking lot. Goldust sped away in his car as Ramon threw a trash can at it…
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