SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It’s time for our Evolve internet pay-per-view preview column!
DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Gabe Sapolsky or Sal “Rhymes With Amway” Hamaoui. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything’s made up, and the points don’t count. No one knows the contents of these projections, but I, in my divine and mystical way, will ascertain the finishes to these matches despite not being caught up on my Evolve DVD’s and VOD’s. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of Hillshire Farms smoked sausage. Hillshire Farms sausages, slow cooked with natural spices, available in pork, beef and turkey. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing.
Yes, we’re going to try treating Evolve as a semi-serious thing by previewing some of their major shows. Thanks to the FloSports deal, and Evolve’s unofficial status as the developmental for WWE’s, um, developmental program, there’s some definite intrigue behind these events. Either WWE will control over the Evolve title, or WWNLive talent will defeat members of the WWE main roster. Let’s do this.
Before we get to our picks, let’s do today’s Wrestling History Lesson. On November 10, 1996, World Championship Wrestling presented an episode of WCW Pro Wrestling on TBS, taped at Disney-MGM Studios in Orlando. On this show, it was WCW Cruiserweight Champion Dean Malenko against “Lionheart” Chris Jericho. Good times. Chris Cruise, Larry Zbyzsko and the late Dusty Rhodes had the call.
Ten years ago, Total Nonstop Action wrestling was kicking butt and taking names. On the November 16, 2006 episode of TNA Impact, from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, your main event saw Rhino battle Christian in a barbed wire cage match. Mike Tenay and Don West had the call.
As your free gift for viewing this column, let’s take you back to October 16th, and the “Evolve 71” event in Ybor City, Florida. Your semi main event saw Chris Hero take on Matthew Riddle in a matchup of two of our favorite PWTorch Livecast guests. No, really. Lenny Leonard had the call.
Enough of that. Now on with the projections!
Tony Nese will meet Tommy End in a dark match. With both of them under WWE contract, there’s no way this was going to make air. My guess is a Nese victory.
Darby Allin vs. Chris Dickinson: Allin and Dickinson were two of the men in the Four-Way Fray at Evolve 64, and yes, it is disturbing that I know that. Projection? The Dirtbag hits a top rope move to defeat Chris D.
Fred Yehi vs. Jason Kincaid: The Gift is one of those men who can bring stability to the Evolve midcard. But WWN has big plans for Yehi. Projection? Fred puts away the former NWA Junior Heavyweight champion with the Kojima Clutch.
Chris Hero vs. Tracy Williams: The former Evolve champ is going to have his hands full with the cornerstone of Catch Point. Projection? Hero crabs the win with Hero’s Welcome, setting him up for tomorrow’s big Evolve 73 showdown.
Chuck “Dustin” Taylor vs. Matthew Riddle: Dustin is in a bit of a pickle this weekend, with Drew Galloway unable to wrestle. Meanwhile, WWNLive is putting Riddle over as the face of BroSlam, I mean, FloSlam. This isn’t that difficult to call. Projection? Riddle wins one with the BroMission, setting up tomorrow evening’s big showdown.
Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Ethan Page: This is a main event level bout for Evolve. Page is one of the top homegrown stars here. On the other hand, it seems like I’ve been watching Sabre forever. Projection? Sabre gets the duke with the Jim Breaks Armbar.
Timothy Thatcher vs. Drew Gulak (EVOLVE Title – Squared Circle of Survival): Thatcher and Gulak have joined forces, and they are both now under the tutelage of Stokely Hathaway. And we have no idea what the rules are for a “Squared Circle of Survival” match. Projection? Let’s guess it’s some sort of technical match, ending with Thatcher applying the Fujiwara armbar for the victory. Tony Nese drops by to remind Thatcher’s what’s in store for tomorrow night.
Aftermath: We go to Evolve 73 tomorrow night in Maryland, where Fred Yehi & Tracy Williams win the tag team titles, Matt Riddle beats Chris Hero, and Timothy Thatcher keeps the Evolve belt with a win over Tony Nese.
Pat McNeill of Greenville, SC. has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He’d take USC to upset Washington in college football. You know, if gambling were legal.
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