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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 12, 2005
BOSTON, MASS.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-A lengthy recap aired of last week’s Eric Bischoff trial and firing. They went right to the live shot of the arena as Joey Styles briefly introduced the show.
-Vince McMahon walked out immediately and talked on the stage into a mic that didn’t work very well. He got so upset it didn’t work well, he threw it in the air and it fell onto the stage. You can only imagine what it must be like to work for him when he’s in a bad mood after watching that hair-trigger reaction to a faulty mic.
He boasted about firing Eric Bischoff. He promised that Bischoff would stay fired. He thanked Bischoff for his contributions and added, “I’d like to wish his family a very Merry Christmas.” He said the list of candidates to replace Bischoff includes his daughter Stephanie, some local Boston figure, or Ted Turner himself, “if he wants to get back into the rasslin’ business.” He even joked it might be a fan, but then quickly laughed and said no way. He said the interim replacement had already been chosen, and it is a “handsome, virile man.” He revealed it was himself.
He then talked about the Elimination Chamber match. He said there would be qualifying matches to see who got to be in the Elimination Chamber match. He said when Kurt Angle came out, there would be no censoring of the fans. WWE ought to not reveal the participants in an Elimination Chamber match two months ahead of time in publicity to cable companies if they want these matches to have any suspense. McMahon as G.M. isn’t a great move. McMahon is best in small, authoratative doses at this point. Having another G.M. to play off of gives him a purpose and someone to bounce off of. McMahon is going to quickly overstay his welcome, I predict.
1 — RIC FLAIR vs. KURT ANGLE — Elimination Chamber Qualifier
Flair got a nice ovation coming out, which Coach noted by saying he was surprised. He didn’t elaborate why it surprised him. Flair got in some chops. Angle went for suplexes and applied an anklelock. Flair reached the bottom rope to force a break. He rolled to the floor as they cut to a break at 4:00.
[Commercial Break]
“At one time Flair was in Kurt Angle’s league. That time has well passed,” said Coach. Responded Styles, “What a jerk!” Flair worked over one of Angle’s leg to set up the figure-four. Angle brought a chair into the ring in frustration. Flair blocked it and grabbed it. As the ref tossed the chair out of the ring, Angle KO’d Flair with brass knuckles and scored the pin.
WINNER: Angle at 8:30.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Eh. Pretty basic stuff.
-Angle talked about how next week Raw would emanate from Afghanistan. He said the trip was on a voluntary basis. He said he is proud to say he didn’t volunteer. He asked why he would take a trip overseas to entertain troops who represent a country that doesn’t show him respect. “You people chant ‘you suck.'” he said. “That’s what I hear. Guess what, I don’t suck. I won a Gold Medal with a broken neck. I did the ultimate thing that anyone in this world can do, and you want to compare? Okay, let’s compare. What have these troops done? Absolutely nothing. I tell you what, if – and it’s a big damn if – if they catch Osama, then maybe I’d go over there and sign a few autographs. Until then, this Olympic boy ain’t going nowhere.” He threw to Daivari on the big screen who was standing next to statues of Boston Bruin great Bobby Orr and Boston Celtic great Larry Bird. Angle told him to desecrate them.
Daivari slapped the Bird statue. He then got a spray paint can ready, but John Cena intervened and slapped him. Cena said: “You’re bush league. You’re better than that! No you’re not.” He added, “I’ve seen the soldiers who aren’t home for the holidays so you can be… So fans say you suck. Newsflash. Half the people out there think I suck. This is America. People have fought and died to earn the right to say what we want, when we want. I don’t care how many Gold Medals you’ve won, that is a privilege that deserves your respect.” The crowd chanted “USA, USA.” Cena said: “Let’s face facts. Without those troops you’re too good for, there’s no America. And with no America, there’s no American heros. If you can’t get that, you can’t see me.” Cena then spray-painted the camera lens.
That segment easily could have gone astray because Angle pushed the envelope as much as you possibly can when it comes to using the troops to get yourself over as a heel. But by immediately (not a month from now on PPV) having Cena show him up, eloquently defend the troops, and not resort to some lame “love it or leave it” type rebuttal, it worked with me. Cena’s acknowledging of the fans booing him, but in that context, may actually change some fans’ minds when it comes to cheering Angle over him.
[Commercial Break]
-Edge came up to Flair backstage and mocked him for losing, and incorporate Flair’s real-life issues. Edge said: “What are you going to do, go on the Mass Turnpike and beat the crap out of somebody else?” Lita chimed in, “That seems to be the only fight you can wn these days.” Edge: “What would our lawyers think if you were involved in another case of assault, with a woman no less.” Flair only said, “Don’t push your luck.” Edge was great in getting in Flair’s face. This is creepy that they’re drawing so much attention to the real-life problems of Flair. Not sure if it’s meant to punish Flair in some way, or it’s a result of a perverse thought process that if you turn it into a TV angle, you own it, and then you have control over where it ends up going as far as the fan perception goes.
-Shawn Michaels got in Shelton Benjamin’s face about how he blew it last week and lost. Shelton said he gave him what he wanted – attitude. He said Michaels was too busy trying to be the Show Stopper and showboating while he was trying to finish the match. “I guess old habits died hard. Selfish ’til the end,” Shelton said. He said he’s going to beat Carlito later to get into the Chamber, and then said he hoped dearly that Michaels makes it into the Chamber, too.
[Commercial Break]
-A video feature aired on Cena on the WWE tour of Italy and his performance on Top of the Pops and radio interviews.
2 — SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CARLITO — Elimination Chamber Qualifier
Shelton went after Carlito aggressively at the start. Carlito didn’t even have time to take shirt off until nearly a full minute into the match. When Carlito bailed out to remove his shirt, Shelton decked him at ringside. Carlito reversed Shelton into the edge of the ring and tossed him back into the ring. A fan held up a sign that said, “Shelton = Ratings.” Perhaps. Carlto applied a Boston Crab (“in Boston!” excited noted Styles), but Shelton rolled through into a pin attempt.
They exchanged a series of near falls. Shelton surprised Carlito with the T-Bone exploder suplex, but didn’t make the cover. Instead, he casually walked over to the corner and grabbed the apple from the ringside steps (badly misjudging the length of his own arm on first reach). He took a bite out of the apple, walked over to Carlito, and got small packaged for the loss. As noted in last week’s Torch Newsletter, WWE has sent casting call to Hollywood to find a “large black woman” to play the role of Shelton’s on-air mother for the next three to six months every Monday.
WINNER: Carlito at 6:09.
STAR RATING: *3/4 — Good action.
-Trevor Murdoch walked up to McMahon backstage and said he’d be a good candidate for G.M. McMahon said he’d consider it, then told him that his chewing tobacco habit is disgusting. Candice Michelle then flirted with McMahon, shoving her breasts at him and having a verbal orgasm as she said she’d make the best G.M. Then she rubbed up against him and spun around. Vince’s heart began racing. Angle and Daivari then barged in. Angle said they need to talk right now.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — BIG SHOW vs. SHAWN MICHAELS — Elimination Chamber Qualifier
Michaels vs. Big Show from a size-mismatch standpoint, looks like Rey Mysterio standing next to Batista. Lawler said Michaels needs to outsmart Big Show. Michaels held down the top rope as Show charged, so Show tumbled to the floor. When Michaels dove at Show, Show caught him at ringside and threw him. Back in the ring, Show headbutted Michaels to the mat. At 3:45 Michaels teased a comeback and hit two clotheslines. On the third attempt, Show blocked him. Michaels then blocked a Show chokeslam and turned it into a DDT. That was the most complex move Show’s been part of in ages.
Michaels then hit a top rope elbowdrop. He then played to the crowd and stomped the mat. Show unwisely stood up and Michaels nailed him with a superkick. Show didn’t go down. Michaels looked shocked. Eventually Show fell to one knee. Michaels went for a second superkick. Show blocked it and chokeslammed Michaels. Triple H then ran to the ring with a chair. He dragged Michaels out of the ring and jumped onto the ring apron. Hunter then bashed Michaels over the head. That, ridiculously, meant Show was disqualified and Michaels was in the match. Big Show looked mad, like the buffet closed just as he arrived at the front door.
WINNER: Michaels via DQ at 5:45.
STAR RATING: *3/4 — Good short TV match. Nothing like openly drawing attention to the ludicrous rules in pro wrestling. All any wrestler would have to do to win any match on a technicality is have a friend to come ringside and hit you with a chair. On the bright side, the finish does play into Hunter’s character that he’s the Cerebral Assassin.
-Angle demanded revenge against Cena. McMahon said he would put Cena in the ring, but Angle wouldn’t be his opponent, Daivari would. Daivari and Angle were upset until McMahon explained the rules. It would be the first-ever “You Can’t See Me” match where Cena is blindfolded throughout. McMahon told Angle he can rip the troops because that’s his right, and he can spit on Larry Bird, but one thing he better never do again is interrupt him. Once again, a small glimpse into the world Vince McMahon has lived in for the past two decades, with a complete overt intolerance of anyone who doesn’t live life by his rules when they’re around him. In theory, it helps get business done, but it does make for a staff that lives on edge. It’s a trade-off.
[Commercial Break]
4 — CHRIS MASTERS vs. VISCERA — Elimination Chamber Qualifier
Lawler bragged that the first time he saw Masters on Raw, he said he’d be a big star. Coach said that was him. He also wondered if Masters could get the Masterpiece on a man as large as Viscera. Viscera scored an early two count after an elbowdrop. Masters’s first attempt at a Masterlock didn’t work as he couldn’t get his arms all the way through, but a second attempt a minute later was successful.
WINNER: Masters at 3:15.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — It made the successful Masterlock mean more by having him struggle to apply it the first time.
-Smackdown Rebound aired.
-Styles plugged the final two matches of the show – Hunter vs. Kane and Cena vs. Daivari.
[Commercial Break]
-Styles noted that WWE.com Unlimited showed a confrontation that took place between Trish Stratus and Mickie James. Mickie was excited to see her. Trish said she had something important to say. Mickie first said that the last few months hanging out with her have been amazing. Trish thanked her. Mickie said she saw Trish at WrestleMania 17 where she stood up to Vince McMahon. She said Trish was obviously sleeping with him. Trish seemed taken aback. Mickie said it’s cool with her. She said then her grandpa died. Trish said she was sorry. Mickie said after her upcoming match with Victoria, she could be top contender and face her. “Wouldn’t that be awesome!” she asked. Mickie asked what Trish was going to tell her. Trish said she was just coming to wish her luck, but obviously that wasn’t the case. Trish took a deep breath after Mickie walked away.
-Back live, Matt Striker walked out onto the stage to re-do the ultra-successful Dean Douglas gimmick of being a preachy teacher. He stood at a set on the stage with a teacher’s desk and chalk board set up. He told the fans he is their teacher and wants to lecture them on something near and dear to their hearts – family values. He spelled it out letter by letter. “What happened to this country,” he said. “What happened to all the values we once held dear.” He then talked about working mothers. He told a fan in the crowd his mother knows nothing about that because she only does work lying on her back. He said she knows the more she puts out, the more Uncle Sam will give her. “I’m tired of having to pay because your mothers can’t keep their damn legs closed,” he said.
He said some of their fathers are out with other women, “or in Massachusetts, they’re marrying other men.” He said their endorsement of same sex marriages is ruining this great country. (Hey, a heel taking a stand against gays rather than a top babyface. Now that’s novel for WWE.) He then mocked them for smoking pot. “You don’t know any better,” he said. “You people are uneducated. And, you see, that’s where I come in.” He told the fans not to be afraid, just look for new role models. The crowd began an “asshole” chant. He told them to look to a man like him because he can be their father figure. “I am Matt Striker, and I’m going to be your teacher.” Coach said, “Wow, he makes a lot of good points. Styles gasped, “What?”
-Vince checked on his hair and then had to listen to Chris Nowinski lobby for the job as G.M., touting his Harvard credentials. Dusty Rhodes then walked in and hugged McMahon. McMahon seemed excited at the prospects. Dusty was my pick two weeks ago when WWE.com first listed him as a candidate. As long as they don’t make him wear polka dots.
[Commercial Break]
5 — MICKIE JAMES vs. VICTORIA
Trish came out with Mickie, who leaped into her arms in excitement. Trish walked to the announcers’ desk. Trish said she respects Mickie, but isn’t exactly best friends with her. Lawler delved for info about their friendship. Coach said it’s a little scary. Trish said she just needs to branch out and find a new direction that doesn’t have to do with her. Lawler asked what she’d do if she has to face her in the ring. She said she’d go out there and do her best. Victoria applied a Boston Crab at 2:00. Mickie reached the bottom rope. Mickie hit a DDT out of nowhere for the clean win. Mickie hilariously spun around in the ring to celebrate.
WINNER: Mickie James at 2:50.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — Too short to amount to much, but fine. They’ve done a great job building to the first Trish vs. Mickie match over the past month or two. Trish and Mickie have both been stellar.
-They showed Triple H walking toward the entrance tunnel for his match.
[Commercial Break]
6 — TRIPLE H vs. KANE
After an early exchange in the corner, Kane dominated Hunter in the opening 90 seconds and knocked him to ringside. They cut to an early break.
[Commercial Break]
After the break, after some offense by Hunter, Kane took control again. Kane whipped Hunter into the ringside barrier, then gave him a clothesline off the ropes inside the ring. Kane then signalled for the chokeslam. Hunter instead of standing up, crawled under the bottom rope. Kane went for a big boot a minute later, but Hunter ducked and the boot caught the ref. Kane went for a chokeslam, but Hunter blocked it, hit Kane low, and then executed a DDT. With the ref still down, Hunter grabbed the sledgehammer from under the ring. He slowly, methodically brought it into the ring. Big Show walked toward the ring, looking for revenge. Hunter held the sledgehammer and challenged Show to enter the ring. Kane stood up and grabbed Hunter for a chokeslam. Show joined in and then gave Hunter a double-chokeslam. Show grabbed the ref and dragged him into position to make the count. The ref counted to three. Show smiled.
WINNER: Kane at 10:20.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Ugly, plodding match.
[Commercial Break]
7 — JOHN CENA vs. DAIVARI (w/Kurt Angle) — You Can’t See Me match
Styles pointed out that they are in Cena’s hometown since he’s from the suburbs of Massachusetts. Nothing says street cred like “the suburbs of Massachusetts.” They did the old trick of delaying his entrance to build anticipation for his entrance. A small chant of “Cena” could be heard briefly. Cena seemed to get a good ovation coming out. The blindfold was put over Cena’s head. The match didn’t start until just past 11 p.m. ET. Angle swiped at Cena’s leg from ringside to mess with him. Angle and Daivari made noises on the mat to try to lure Cena their direction to confuse him. A “Let’s Go Cena” chant broke out briefly.
Daivari shouted in Cena’s face. Cena swung, but Daivari easily ducked. Cena’s third swing connected. Cena mistakenly grabbed the ref, who shouted to Cea that he wasn’t Daivari. Cena then pointed various directions and the crowd cheered when he pointed Daivari’s way. Daivari called for Angle’s help. Daivari called for Cena to come at him. Daivari moved and Angle punched Cena. Daivari then stomped away at Cena. Cena made a comeback and took Daivari down and applied an STF. Daivari tapped immediately. Angle attacked Cena after the match. Cena fended off Angle and then gave Daivari an FU. The show ended with Cena celebrating in front of his hometown suburban fans and staring down a frustrated Angle on the stage.
WINNER: Cena 3:40.
STAR RATING: * — Well orchestrated gimmick match. They kept it credible and entertaining.
-A plug aired for next week’s Tribute to the Troops edition of Raw for the third time in the show.
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