SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
APRIL 24, 2006
TAPED IN 4/22 LONDON, ENGLAND
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-A video feature aired recapping the Shawn Michaels vs. Vince & Shane McMahon feud. Then after the Raw opening, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, and Coach introduced the show. They hyped the scheduled main event of Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon in a rematch of Saturday Night’s Main Event.
-Edge and Lita came to the ring to their full ring intro. Edge slid into the ring, humped the mat, and seduced Lita into the ring. Then they made out a little. “Joey, maybe you could hang out with Lita a little and she could teach you a second position,” said Lawler. Joey replied: “Is this Pick on Joey Night?” Edge talked about his Triple Threat match at Backlash against Triple H. They cut to footage of last week’s Raw where Edge speared and pinned Hunter.
Then they went back to the ring live where Edge talked about being a “superior Canadian.” He said it’s obvious that after Backlash he’ll walk out as the new WWE Champion. Triple H’s music began. There was what seemed to be a small crowd pop, although with post-produced WWE shows, you can’t rely too much on what you hear matching reality since they can manipulate crowd responses. He said Edge has come a long way. He looks like a champion, walks like a champion, and even was a champion for a few weeks. He said that means he can go, he just can’t go very long.
The crowd was clearly behind Triple H – no sound manipulation needed – with a loud “Triple H, Triple H” chant. He told Edge it’s a common issue. He suggestively described how Edge must climax quickly during sex. The crowd laughed. He said Lita must be frustrated, but he might be able to get an endorsement deal marketing himself as “The Premature Superstar.” He said until he can “do it ten times in a row, you’re not even in my league.” Edge said he can do it ten times in one night, but at Backlash he only needs to do it once. He said it only took three seconds to pin him.
Hunter said he did take advantage of him when he was distracted. He said he entered the ring with only one goal in mind – to send John Cena a message. He said at Backlash, his eye won’t be on Cena, but it will be on one thing – regaining his title. He said he doesn’t care if he has to go through Edge or Cena, “at Backlash, the King of Kings goes back on his throne.”
Edge mockingly called him the “King of Kings,” then asked him why he even deserves to be in another title match. He said since he lost at WrestleMania and lost to him, he asked him if he likes to call “the old man” and get on his knees and “beg him to be in the match.” Hunter said, “Listen. Okay. You and I both know there is only person in this business who is known worldwide for getting on their knees (pause) – and Lita is not even in the match.”
What about Shelton Benjamin? He said he is called the Cerebral Assassin for one reason. He said if having Vince McMahon on his side benefits him, that’s what he’ll make sure is the case. He said he will go through anyone to get what he wants. This was one of the better in-ring exchanges in a while on Raw, and certainly Hunter’s best promo in ages. He is showing that there is hope for him as a babyface to really shine and that he hasn’t lost that quick wit that helped get DX over and made DX a major factor in WWE regaining the edge in the Monday Night War without every turning back.
Cena’s music played. He ran out and went after Hunter. They exchanged punches in the ring as Edge bailed out to ringside. Cena, still officially the babyface, got the advantage on Hunter quickly, so Hunter bailed out, too. Cena didn’t say a word on the mic. Hunter yanked off his t-shirt and was about to reenter the ring when Spirit Squad came out onto the stage. Hunter and Cena both looked at Spirit Squad with bewilderment.
Spirit Squad announced that they just talked to Vince McMahon and they had an announcement for them. He asked the “wanker” fans if they were ready. Then Spirit Squad did a cheer and a really bad pyramid, then said he booked Hunter & Edge & Cena vs. all five Spirit Squad members. Lawler said McMahon was forcing Hunter, Cena, and Edge to be partners. “How explosive is that going to be?” said Cena.
[Commercial Break]
1 — CHRIS MASTERS & MATT STRIKER & SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHARLIE HAAS & CARLITO & ROB VAN DAM
Lawler said, “I used to think he was the Masterpiece, but without Carlito around, he’ll probably wind up being about as remembered as Whister’s Father.” For better or for worse, that is a vintage Lawler line. Styles said the fans seem to have sided without Carlito even though Carlito double-crossed Masters more often than Masters double-crossed Carlito. Shelton got the better of Carlito right away, so Carlito – in a heelish fashion – immediately tagged in RVD. RVD took Shelton over with a head scissors, then spin wheel kicked him over the top rope the floor. RVD and Haas then knocked both Striker and Masters over the top rope. RVD flip dove onto Striker and Masters at ringside. They cut to a commercial at 1:00.
[Commercial Break]
The heels had control after the break. The showed that during the break, RVD was whipped into the ringside stairs. Masters locked RVD in a bearhug. Masters awkwardly powerslammed RVD and went for a pin. Carlito broke up the pin attempt. Styles did a nice job focusing on the preview elements of Backlash’s matches in this match – RVD vs. Shelton and Carlito vs. Masters. RVD eventually reached to Carlito, but Carlito shoved RVD’s hand to Haas.
Haas cleaned house on the heels and gave Shelton an inverted DDT. It’s nice that they haven’t changed Carlito’s character despite positioning him as a face so that he doesn’t end up being a soft version of the old sneaky, cowardly, cunning Carlito. Masters caught Carlito from behind and applied the Master Lock.
After a few seconds, Haas gave Masters a released German suplex. Striker went after Haas in the ring. Carlito went after Striker. RVD got yanked out of the ring by Masters. Shelton then surprised Carlito with a poweerslam. RVD surprised Shelton with a flying sidekick followed by Rolling Thunder. He then hit a Five-Star Frog Splash for the win.
WINNERS: RVD & Carlito & Haas when RVD pinned Shelton in 9:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — Good nonstop action. It seemed more likely that Haas or Striker would do the job, so Shelton jobbing made for a more surprising finish. It could mean, in the even-steven WWE booking world, that RVD is losing on Sunday. Or it could mean they’re trying to build RVD up strong for his headline match at the ECW PPV.
[Commercial Break]
-Vince and Shane McMahon were interviewed backstage. Vince said that last week’s pyro incidents were not an act of god, but rather a coincidental malfunction of the pyro. He said he talked to the guy in charge. He said he apologized and he accepted his apology, “then I fired him.” He said at Backlash, he better hope there is an act of God on Sunday because otherwise, Michaels “and his tag team partner” are going down. He said he had it on good authority that “God is not here tonight.” He said God “is, as they say over here, on holiday.”
Shane said he wanted to get back at Michaels for what he did to him at WrestleMania. “It’s all about payback,” he said, complaining about “putting my face where it didn’t belong.” Vince said he can’t imagine how bad it was for him. Vince and Shane have a great on-air chemistry. Shane swore that Michaels would not be walking out of the ring on his own power later.
-They showed Torrie warming up, so to speak, for the bikini contest up next. With Styles, Lawler, and Coach commentating on it, they’ll fight over mic time to gush and pant over them.
-Kane paced backstage. Big Show walked up to him and said they’re friends and tag partners. He said he needs to know what’s up with him. Kane said, “You said that date?” Big Show said, “You mean November 4th?” Kane told him not to say it. Show said it’s just a date like any other. Kane warned him not to say it again, “or else.” Show said, “Or else? Or else! November 4.” Kane attacked Show and bashed his head into the garage door over and over.
[Commercial Break]
-Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Maria eached stripped off their bath robes and posed in their bikinis. Styles and Lawler took turns acting horny. Styles said he was feeling light-headed because all the blood was rushing from his head. Oh, good, a hard-on reference from Styles. Now that’s an image WWE’s core audience wants. The crowd response was, in Coach’s opinion, so close, he was choosing the winner. He chose Candice Michelle. Lawler protested the decision. “Coach has been blinded by passion,” said Lawler.
Coach said the prize for winning was making out with Coach. Candice grimaced. Coach said, “You should be smiling. You said you’d try anything once.” As Coach leaned in, Viscera’s music started. Coach introduced “The World’s Biggest Love Machine.” Viscera said what he was thinking of doing to Candice, “Why don’t I do that to you?”
Viscera picked up Coach and gave him a Samoan Drop. He then rolled Coach onto his stomache and splashed him, then spanked him. Candice blew Coach a kiss, then raised Viscera’s arms. Viscera then bent over Candice and made out with her. It looked like Edge and Lita. Candice gave Viscera a little spanking afterward.
[Commercial Break]
2 — SHANE MCMAHON vs. SHAWN MICHAELS
Vince McMahon introduced his son Shane. Vince distracted Shawn, giving Shane the chance to gain the initial upperhand. Styles mentioned Shane is a product of Vince’s semen, then added, “I can’t believe I just said semen.” Michaels quickly came back against Shane, then went after Vince at ringside. Shane hit Shawn from behind, knocking him into the ringpost. Shane threw Shawn back into the ring. Styles wondered if Vince was pushing his luck by saying God was holiday. He asked if he believes God will really show up against Shawn, or if he just wanted an excuse to book a handicapped match. Now Styles is asking the right questions that an announcer should ask to represent the questions viewers are asking themselves.
Shane gave Michaels a torture rack into a neckbreaker. Shawn fought back at 6:00 and hit Shane with a flying forearrm. Michaels threw a couple clotheslines that didn’t look realistic, in part because Michaels was so nonchalant about them, but also because Shane’s bumping was awkward. When Shawn went for a top rope elbow, Vince jumped onto the ring apron. Michaels swatted him away, then hit a top rope elbowdrop. He then signalled for Sweet Chin Music.
After stomping the mat, Vince yanked him out of the ring. Michaels punched him several times, then rammed him into the announers’ table. He went to the top rope and teased leaping onto Vince, but Shane nailed Michaels with a low-blow. Vince KO’d Shawn with the ring bell.
WINNER: Michaels by DQ.
-Vince commanded Shane to lay Michaels on the announcers’ table. Vince held Shawn’s legs, then Shane went to the top rope. Shane came off with a flying elbow in a spot deserving of an “Oh my God!” Shane sold it like he was hurt, too. Vince told Shawn that he told him God’s not present tonight and he has abandoned him. “God, this Sunday, will be a chicken,” he said. “God will not be on your side this Sunday at Backlash. As to your chances of winning against my son and me, you and God have no chance in Hell. Praise me the name of Shane Brandon McMahon! Praise be the name of Vincent Kennedy McMahon! Haleleuia!”
In a nice touch, the camera angle looked down on Vince and Shane from above. Very good segment at promoting Sunday’s event. Michaels looked strong one-on-one against Shane, but with Vince around, clearly Michaels is in jeopardy. They set Michaels up for wanting revenge, and gave fans motivation for wanting to see it.
[Commercial Break]
-Lawler and Styles talked about the previous match and wondered about the power of God working against Vince. “This may sound weird, but he may be more active than Mr. McMahon thinks,” said Lawler. Then they promoted the Kane-Show match at Backlash without mentioning the release date of the movie.
This angle has actually, strangely, prevented them from being able to mention the date since everyone is now fearful of Kane attacking them. It actually works, though, because whenever they say “that date,” you can’t help by say the date to yourself. It’s like telling someone not to think about a pink elephant. The image immediately pops into mind. They replayed Kane attacking Show and bloodying his eye.
Bruce Prichard, the former Brother Love, was who was tending to Show. They went to a promo for “See No Evil.” Styles warned viewers it contained graphic gore. Kane said: “I saw the gore in the movie comforting. It was like living out my dreams on the big screen.” The screen showed the release date for the movie. Styles commented on Kane’s comments about living out his dreams on the big screen. Styles and Lawler ran down the rest of the Backlash line-up.
-Edge walked up to Cena backstage. Cena said, “Look at what the cat threw up.” Edge told Cena that he needs to focus at the task at hand in the TV main event. Cena said he knows Edge is a snake who waits for his opportunity to strike. Cena said if he tries that again, “You’re going down, quicker than your girlfriend.”
[Commercial Break]
-The camera snuck a peek at Edge and Lita talking to each other. They weren’t mic’d, and it was a rare case where it was a candid shot. Lawler and Styles wondered what Edge said that made Lita so happy.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of “PWTorch ’90s Pastcast” with Patrick Moynahan and Alex McDonald, part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “wade keller” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
3 — UMAGA (w/Armando Alexandro Estrada) vs. STEVE WILMINGTON
Willington was billed as London’s own. Styles said he loves saying Estrada’s name. When the bell rang, Umaga attacked Wilmington. Wilmington’s attempt at a comeback was short-lived. Umaga sent Wilmington to the floor with a kick. Umaga swung Wilmington into the ringside steps, then hung him upside down inside the ring and butt splashed him with force. Umaga finished Wilmington with a spike to the corotid artery.
WINNER: Umaga in 2:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Umaga looked vicious.
-Ric Flair came out after the match and attacked Umaga. He yanked on his crotch and then upper cut him out of the ring. Lawler said Flair was getting revenge for Umaga attacking Flair when he wasn’t ready.
-Lita approached Triple H backstage. She said Hunter may be upset with what happened with Edge last week. Lita said Cena agreed that everyone should put off their grudges and work together tonight. Hunter said it was nice of Lita to help him out. He said he hoped she’s equally nice on Sunday when he kicks her boyfriends ass. Lita said if that happens, maybe he could “hit her with his sledgehammer.”
When Lita walked away, Hunter called for her but it was too late. He said he wanted to ask her about what it’s like to take on five men at once, since she has so much experience at it. More of Hunter’s wit coming out. He’s already world’s more entertaining. Will being boring for three years make it too late for him to become a strong ratings draw as a babyface?
[Commercial Break]
-Mickey James came out as herself. She laughed about dressing up as Trish and trying to be Trish, but said she might have taken it too far. She said it was worth it because it got her the Women’s Title, but now she realizes that she’s Mickey James. She said that excitedly. She said she is in fact better than Trish. The crowd booed. Lawler said that proves her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. Styles said it’s called a lift in England.
As Mickey rambled about Backlash, Trish interrupted. She came out still dressed as Mickey. Styles said Trish is still trying to “get inside the scrambled skull of Mickey James.” James looked upset and said she didn’t get what she was trying to prove. “This stupid.” Every time she began to talk, Trish immediately mimicked her. That frustrated Mickey. They were both pretty funny. Mickey went after Trish. Trish knocked Mickey out of the ring with Trish Kick. Trish danced her way to the back and Mickey screamed out in frustration.
[Commercial Break]
4 — SPIRIT SQUAD vs. TRIPLE H & EDGE & JOHN CENA — Five on Three
Spirit Squad came out first. Then Edge. Then Hunter. Then Cena. All got their full ring intro. Cena got booed by the London crowd, and WWE didn’t edit it out (at least not entirely). Lawler said if you look up controversial in the dictionary, you’d probably see Cena’s picture. Come on, Lawler can do better than that. Spirit Squad did a cheer before the match and obnoxiously danced in front of Hunter, Cena, and Edge, introducing themselves one at a time. Cena, Hunter, and Edge hit all of them, cleaning the ring of them as the bell rang. That left the three Backlash opponents to trash talk each other briefly as they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Styles said Spirit Squad are “athletically annoying.” Lawler said during the break, Spirit Squad had the advantage against Triple H, but he tagged out to Edge. Edge made a comeback, but ended up outnumbered again. Styles said Spirit Squad are good at working as a team. Hunter tagged in and did the DX chop before kneedropping Mickey. The crowd chanted “DX, DX.” Kenny broke up Hunter’s pin attempt. Cena tagged himself in. The crowd booed Cena. Styles called it a “mixed reaction.”
Mikey jumped off the trampoline and yanked Cena’s head over the top rope. Johnny followed with a 360 degree roundhouse kick to Cena’s head. Cena got tossed to the floor and was stomped by four of the Squaders. Hunter and Edge didn’t come to his rescue. Lawler pointed out that Hunter had a smile on his face. There seemed to be a “Cena, Cena” chant. Not a strong one, though. Cena finally made a comeback with a series of goofy looking clotheslines on every Spirit Squad member.
Hunter tagged himself in and threw a series of punches at the Four Horsemen style attack by the Squaderes. Hunter set up a Pedigree, but Spirit Squad swarmed him. Cena came to Hunter’s aid while Edge watched from the ring apron. Cena and Hunter set up a simultaneous FU and Pedigree as Edge jumped off the apron and headed to the back. Hunter and Cena had a staredown, then Hunter threw a punch at Cena. They rolled around on the mat as Edge and Lita laughed.
WINNERS: No decision.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — It was what it should have been. Good athleticism and good intrigue built up for the three-way match. It was an awkward ending to the show, kind of out of nowhere. I’m not crazy about matches ending in no contests without any attention being given to the fact that viewers just invested ten minutes in wondering who would win, at least presumably.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.