MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
Oct. 19, 2017
Taped from Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Josh Mathews & Jeremy Borash
Immediately following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to the PWTorch Livecast. Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek will discuss tonight’s show with callers. Listen at www.pwtorchlivecast.com and call the show at 515-605-9345 or email email@example.com
— The Impact signature aired.
— Moose and Stephan Bonnar were shown arriving to the Impact Zone with the belts they stole from American Top Team last week. American Top Team was then shown arriving and they were not happy, throwing guardrails.
— Highlights from last week’s show were shown.
— Chris Adonis made his ring entrance, followed by Johnny Impact.
(1) CHRIS ADONIS vs. JOHNNY IMPACT
Impact went for a tackle right away. Borash talked about Adonis attacking Impact last week and how Impact was waiting a week for his retribution. Adonis stomped on Impact’s face. Adonis continued the assault and teased the Adonis Lock was coming. Adonis snatched an Adonis Lock as Impact came to his feet. Borash wondered if Impact bit off more than he can chew. Impact leaped over the top rope to break the move. Impact slid under the bottom rope and school boyed Adonis for a two count. Impact cornered Adonis and threw punches and kicks. Impact hit a twisting neckbreaker for a two count. Impact hit a springboard kick for a two count.
Back from the break, Adonis has Impact prone on the top rope and tried for a superplex but Impact blocked it. Impact knocked Adonis off the top and hit Countdown to Impact for the win.
WINNER: Johnny Impact in 10:00.
After the match, Eli Drake hit the ring but Impact cut him off. Impact ripped off Drake’s pants (I’m serious) and kicked him in the chest. Impact took off Drake’s belt and whipped him with it. Adonis knocked down Impact with a clothesline and then put the boots to him. Drake took off the rest of his clothes, leaving him in boxer briefs, and choked Impact with his shirt before whipping Impact with his belt. Garza Jr. ran to the ring with a chair and chased off the heels.
(McMahon: The name “Impact” is still really dumb. It’s so awkward writing it, and it sounds awkward when Borash and Mathews say it. It was also jarring to go to the break with Impact clearly in control, and then come back with Adonis going for a superplex. Then, no more than 30 seconds after returning from the commercial, Impact gets the win. Phew! Well I’m glad the commercial didn’t run longer. And before someone in the comment section says, “WWE DOES IT TOO!” it’s ridiculous to go to commercial in the middle of the match. It’s dumb. You’re supposedly showing an athletic event. Football games don’t cut way in the middle of play for commercials.
The match was good and so was the post-match angle, despite the absurdity of Drake stripping off his clothes — well, Impact stripping Drake. It sets up a tag team match for an episode of Impact before Bound for Glory.)
— A video aired on Alberto El Patron returning at Bound for Glory.
— Impact aired a “Pluto TV Rewind of the Week” hyping their Pluto TV channel. A clip of Samoa Joe was shown.
— Highlights of fiev-way match was shown.
(2) EDDIE EDWARDS vs. ECIII vs. JAMES STORM vs. EL HIJO DEL FANTASMA vs. EL TEXANO JR. — match was part of a AAA show in Cancun, Mexico
Borash and Mathews were doing live commentary for the match. The action was fast. ECIII hit everyone with clotheslines out of the corner. Edwards and ECIII hit a double clothesline on Texano and Storm covered him for a two count. The crowd was cheering for Texano. Fantasma’s father was shown at ringside. Texano began to clear the ring with clotheslines and forearms. Fantasma hit Texano with a backbreaker. Fantasma hit a crossbody for a two count. ECIII pulled Storm off a cover and said he should cover for the win. After all five were down, Storm and Texano got up and traded punches. Texano chopped Fantasma. Fantasma hit a piledriver. Texano and Storm colluded on the outside and were going to attack Fantasma’s father. Fantasma kicked them from the outside. Texano ran in the ring and knocked Fantasma off the apron and pinned ECIII.
WINNER: El Texano Jr.
(McMahon: Ugh. I’ve long said that Impact should show full matches, and not just highlights, when they air matches like this from their partners. But, this is a great case for a highlight package. On Impact they’re building to a AAA vs. Impact tag match at Bound for Glory. Here, we see the supposed teammates fight each other. It left Josh Mathews and Jeremy Borash there to explain why Fantasma and Texano, for example, were friends when they were in Florida for Impact, but not when they’re in Mexico. The explanation sounded ridiculous, because it was ridiculous. At one point, Texano and Storm were teaming up to fight Fantasma. From a booking standpoint, it made no logical sense whatsoever. It honestly feels like Impact is trying to sabotage itself sometimes. Either that, or the big man in charge of creative has no clue what he’s doing.)
— oVe were shown in Tijuana. They said that LAX told them not to come back, but they were back because they don’t listen to anyone. The camera cut to Konnan backstage at a CRASH show. Security told him that oVe was here. Konnan said if oVe wanted to talk to him, they had to put their titles on the line tonight.
— GWN was hyped with a promo package.
— Eli Drake, ECIII and James Storm were shown arguing backstage. Edwards said that they need to get on the same page. Edwards said he has to go to Japan to defend his title, but Storm and ECIII need to figure it out. Storm said that they would come back and finish it.
(McMahon: Edwards believes it’s so important to fix his team, that he’s leaving to go to Japan … it’s going to be one of those nights.)
— Dan Lambert was shown screaming at Jim Cornette, who was screaming back.
(3) ANDREW EVERETT (w/Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley) vs. DEZMOND XAVIER
Everett had the early advantage while Borash plugged a “Tyler Perry Madea” double feature after the show … so we can all look forward to that. Mathews said that Taryn Terrell wouldn’t be cleared to wrestle at Bound for Glory after she was slapped in the face last week by Gail Kim.
(McMahon: Think about this for a second … Taryn Terrell took a slap and she won’t be cleared for a match in three weeks. Johnny Impact was hit over the hear with a hunk of wood and he’s fine to wrestle seven days later).
Xavier came back with charges in the corner and a kick to the knees. Xavier knocked Knoley off the apron and then catapulted Everett to the outside before hitting a swanton over the top rope on both of them as Lee walked backwards up the ramp. Lee ran to the ring and taunted Xavier from the apron which allowed Everett to kick Xavier in the head. Xavier hit a kick and a another springboard kick for the win.
WINNER: Dezmond Xavier in 4:00.
(McMahon: Good match and good build for the eventual Xavier vs. Lee title match. It’s still baffling that he disappeared from the show after winning the Super X Cup. They’re doing their best to give him some momentum, but he had tons of it coming out of that tournament).
— Trevor Lee was shown in Tijuana, Mexico. A graphic said his trip to Mexico would continue next week.
— oVe was shown running around the halls looking for Konnan. oVe said they would defend their titles tonight at CRASH. oVe was shown warming up and then walking to the ring to wrestle/defend their titles.
— A video aired on the relationship between Grado and Joseph Park.
— Grado came to the ring and he was fired up. Grado demanded that Park come to the ring. After 2-3 times screaming for Park to come out, he finally did and he looked worried. Grado called Park a thief. Grado said Park took his money, stole from him, and took advantage of his good nature. Grado said Park treated him like a dog. Park asked if Grado like jokes. Grado screamed that he didn’t want to hear jokes or stories. He said Park was full of sh*t. Grado asked the crowd if Park was guilty or not guilty. Park said that he was guilty and he couldn’t handle the temptation of the money, cars and gold. Park got stern and said that if it weren’t for his visa, Grado wouldn’t even be here. Grado asked for the visa and Park said no, he had a better idea. Park said he had a plea bargain for Grado. Park had a contract for a match at Bound for Glory, pitting Grado vs. Park. Park said the contract stipulation was if Grado wins, he gets to stay, and if Grado loses, he has to leave the country. Grado signed the contract. Park said Grado didn’t read the fine print. Park said that the match for Bound for Glory will be a Monster’s Ball match. Park also said that the match at BFG will not be against Park, it will be against Abyss.
(McMahon: I told you! It was going to be one of those nights! … OK, first of all, if Park, Park and Park could get Grado a work visa, why can’t Impact Wrestling? Right? No explanation was ever given for that to my knowledge. Wouldn’t that solve Grado’s whole problem? Secondly, since when does Joseph Park have the ability to deport people? Apparently that’s a stipulation in this match. I mean, Park could pull the work visa, but again, why can’t Impact (or anyone else … Burger King) hire Grado so he can stay? It’s going to be one of those nights …. you’re reading along as a man who writers about wrestling goes off the rails. Driven to insanity. I hope you enjoy the ride!)
— A video aired on American Top Team.
— Grado was shown running to his car screaming, “What have I done?” There was apparently a camera in his car (multiple angles). Grado was setting the radio stations and Abyss’ music came on. He hit the gas but the car wouldn’t move. James Mitchell sat up in the back seat. He said he would send Grado straight to hell at Bound for Glory with Abyss.
(McMahon: James Mitchell!!!! Finally something I can say I like about this episode!!!!)
(4) oVe vs. BLACK DIAMOND & BLACK DANGER — Impact Tag Team Championship match
Black Diamond hit a dive through the ropes as oVe approached the ring. Black Diamond tossed Jake Crist into the turnbuckle and Dave Crist followed up with kicks in the corner to Black Diamond. Jake hit a moonsault off the top to the outside. Diamond hit a spear off the top rope after Jake was thrown in the air by Danger. oVe hit a superplex into a powerbomb for a two count after Diamond stopped the count. Diamond hit a cutter on Dave Crist and a powerbomb on Jake for a two count. Diamond was hit with a spike tombstone as oVe picked up the win.
WINNER: oVe retains in 5:00.
(McMahon: The building wasn’t lit for TV, but whatever. For the other nonsense that has been on this show, this was well done).
Back from the break, Borash was about to hype Bound for Glory but Dan Lambert and American Top Team hit the ring, shoving JB to the ground. Lambert said that he had a respect for pro wrestling and he sat and watched Lashley waste his MMA potential while wrestling for Impact. Lambert said it’s ironic, because he got into MMA because of pro wrestling and he’s the biggest pro wrestling fan in the building. Lamebrt said he had the largest collection of pro wrestling memorabilia in the world. He pulled out Bruno Sammartino’s first World Title and then the Georgia Championship Wrestling tag belts that the Road Warriors owned. Apparently Lambert owns all of these belts. Lambert said Ric Flair’s first title held was the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Championship, and Lambert pulled out that title belt. Lambert then brought up Jeff Jarrett. Lambert also had Jerry Lawler’s AWA Title.
Lambert said the saddest irony of all is that he controls the biggest MMA team the world today, and pro wrestling, for some reason he doesn’t know, came into their home and disrespected everything they know. Lambert said that wrestling poked the bear. Lambert said they were in the Impact Zone, and Bobby Lashley and King Mo would do whatever Lambert asks to bring back ATT’s respect. Lambert said he was going to ask Lashley and King Mo to destroy wrestling. He wants them to expose wrestling as a bunch of loudmouth wannabe tough guys. Lambert said wrestlers bottomfeed in combat sports. Lambert challenged Moose and Bonnar to a tag team match against Lashley and King Mo. Lambert said he didn’t challenge them to wrestling match, he is challenging them to a fight. Lambert said this would be the end of Impact Wrestling.
Moose came to the ring with Bonnar holding all of ATT’s titles. As they hit the ring, they were attacked by Lashley and the rest of Americna Top Team. Lashle hit Moose with multiple spears and Bonnar as well. Security ran to the ring and Lambert laughed and asked what they were going to do? Mahabali Shera ran to the ring to get beat up. Caleb Konley hit the ring and he got beat up pretty quickly. Andrew Everett was slammed quickly by Lashley. Lashley hit Moose with another spear. American Top Team posed.
(McMahon: Lambert cuts a really good promo. And, seeing all of the old title belts was really cool. I’m even willing to give them a pass on MMA standing tall over pro wrestling because it builds heat for the pay-per-view. However, I will ask why two random X-Division heels were the ones running out to defend the company’s honor? Where was Johnny Impact? He wrestled 90 minutes ago. Get your ass out there and help. It was really, really random. They’ve established that most of the roster is in Mexico, which is fine, but two random cruiserweight heels? Seemed odd).
— oVe was backstage in Tijuana and they were going to talk to Konnan. oVe asked for their pay and they would get out of Tijuana. Konnan said that LAX would take the belts back at BFG. Konnan then called in the rest of his CRASH roster to attack oVe but oVe was doing well, at first, before ultiamtely succumbing to the group attack.
(McMahon: Again … randomness in storylines. What did oVe need to talk to Konnan about? They wanted to ask him if he wanted to touch the belts? That was it? They establish a reason why oVe was in Mexico, but the reason literally made no sense).
— A video hyping Valkyrie vs. Rosemary aired.
(5) TAYA VALKYRIE vs. ROSEMARY
Rosemary hit the ring and immediately went for a tackle and the brawling began. The fight went to the apron where they traded chops. Valkyrie pulled Rosemary into the ring post.
Back from the break, Valkyrie is in total control of the match. Valkyrie splashed Rosemary in the corner. Rosemary came back with a german suplex. Rosemary and Valkyrie traded forearms and Rosemary landed a kick to the head. Valkyrie landed a kick to the head and followed up with more strong kids. Rosemary sat up and tried for a Red Wedding but Valkyrie got out of hit and hit a stomp for the win.
WINNER: Taya Valkyrie in 11:00.
After the match, Valkyrie had her hand raised. Rosemary was trying to recover in the corner and Valkyrie grabbed her, looking for the Road to Valhalla but Rosemary came back with mist to Valkyrie’s face. Mathews said that was retribution. Rosemary took the mic and challenged Valkyrie to a first blood match at Bound for Glory. Rosemary said she would paint the Impact Zone with Valkyrie’s blood.
(McMahon: Good match, even though it sets up another rematch for Bound for Glory. Oh well. There wasn’t much I liked about this show — if you couldn’t tell — and there are now only two more episodes until Bound for Glory).