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KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
MAY 7, 2018
UNIONDALE, N.Y. AT NASSAU COLISEUM
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK
Announcers: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman
CHECK OUT THE WADE KELLER PRO WRESTLING POST-SHOW RIGHT AFTER STREAMING LIVE HERE.
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[HOUR ONE]
-The camera panned the crowd as Cole introduced the show. Then the announcers were on camera as they talked about shifting into Money in the Bank season. Cole said it’s one of his favorites.
-Kurt Angle walked out to his music and led the crowd in the “You suck!” chant. He said he is proud to say he’s been part of the WWE family for almost 20 years (minus all of his time in TNA, which he’s ignoring). He said what separates WWE from other forms of entertainment is they never stop. “We do that for all of you!” he said.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was kind of random. It almost seems like it’s in reaction to possibly wrestlers complaining about the ridiculous post-WrestleMania travel schedule, so Vince McMahon wanted to send a message saying they never stop because “it’s for the fans” as if their non-stop schedule isn’t actually about maximizing revenue. Truth is, the wrestlers’ well-being isn’t a priority because fans would be able to handle WWE producing TV every week or even recording two weeks of TV in one week and actually giving the roster nearly a full two week break after WrestleMania without these non-stop tours in the U.S. and overseas and back to the U.S. and back overseas.)
Angle said they went from WrestleMania to the Superstar Shake-up to the Greatest Royal Rumble to Backlash and now Money in the Bank. Angle said there’d be two qualifying matches tonight for MITB. He announced: Ember Moon vs. Ruby Riott vs. Sasha Banks. Roman Reigns (boos!) vs. Finn Balor (cheers) vs. Sami Zayn (fewer boos). Then Braun Strowman interrupted. Coach said nobody Braun’s size has ever competed in a MITB type of match.
Braun entered the ring and asked Angle if he ever told them about the time as a kid that the other kids all decided to build a tree house. He said he watched them saw the wood and build it, and never once did they ask him for help. When they were done, he had to listen to them talk about their secret handshake so when they all climbed into the tree house, he knocked the whole tree down. (I think that’s a reference to wrestlers climbing a ladder to get the briefcase, right? Or is Braun mistaking Raw for his psychology session?) Angle said Braun is on a roll lately and he deserves a shot at Money in the Bank. Then suddenly Kevin Owens’ music played.
Owens said he is Raw’s MVP. He said he anchors the highest rated segment and fans worldwide chant his name. He said more importantly he is a team player and he respects the rules, unlike Strowman. He said last night’s decision should be reversed because Strowman pinned the wrong man. He said he and Sami Zayn should be declared the real winners. He said therefore Strowman isn’t on a roll, and he belongs in the match. He said Strowman has been a “bad monster,” he said it like someone scolding a naught dog.
Angle said before Owens interrupted him, he was about to tell Strowman he’d get a qualifying match. Owens said he doesn’t deserve that, he does. Strowman said all he deserves is these hands. He said what’s fair is Angle deciding that the first Raw Superstar to enter the MITB match is him. He reminded Angle he “needs this job” and Stephanie McMahon is watching. Angle said he will put Strowman in a qualifying match and his opponent will be him. He said that match starts… “right now.” Believe it or not, Owens wasn’t delighted by this turn of events. [c]
(1) KEVIN OWENS vs. BRAUN STROWMAN – MITB Qualifier
Owens took it to Strowman in the opening seconds, but then Strowman shoved him, knocking him into the referee. Graves said it is brave of Owens to take this challenge. Strowman continued to dominate, stopping Owens from his attempt to roll out of the ring. He smashed Owens across his chest with a forearm. When Braun charged Owens in the corner, Owens lifted his boot. Braun staggered, but then knocked Owens off the middle rope with punch to the chin. He fell to the floor. Strowman went after him. Owens tried to run away, but Strowman grabbed him on the ringside barrier. Owens gave Strowman a tornado DDT off the barricade. The ref counted Strowman outside the ring. When he got to eight, he rolled into the ring. Owens was dismayed. Strowman soon over again on Owens, but Owens avoided Strowman’s charge in the corner. Strowman went shoulder-first to the floor. The ref began counting again. Strowman rolled in to beat the count. They cut to a break. [c]
Back to the ring, Strowman was in control after a chokeslam during the break. Owens took control with an attack on Strowman’s legs and then a superkick to the jaw. He landed a senton to Strowman’s back and made a cover and got a two count. Strowman went after Owens, but Owens again moved as Strowman charged and Strowman hit his head on the corner post. Owens then hit a top rope frog splash for a two count. Coach declared before the move they were about to witness an upset, so you knew there wouldn’t be a pin there. Owens superkicked Strowman and then went for the Pop-up Powerbomb. Strowman pushed out of it and then clotheslined Owens. Then he splashed him in the corner. When Owens went to ringside, Strowman chased him down and checked him hard into the boards at ringside. Then he ran a lap and did it again. Owens is great at these bumps. Strowman threw Owens into the ring, but Owens rolled out of the ring again. Strowman then charged again and once again checked Owens into the air for a flip bump. Back in the ring Strowman delivered a running powerslam for the win. “Good luck to the rest of the field, there’s a monster in the Money in the Bank!” said Cole. Coach said he’s the favorite even before others are entered officially.
WINNER: Strowman in 13:00.
-The announcers plugged upcoming matches announced by Angle earlier. [c]
-In a locker room interview, Roman Reigns said his mindset is he’s the uncrowned Universal Champion, but WWE management doesn’t seem to agree with it. He said he’s sick and tired of it. He said he can’t control the backstage politics. He said when the bell rings, he’s in full control and that’s when he silences his doubters and haters. (He’s terrible at silencing his doubters and haters.) He said to ask Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar, and Samoa Joe. The crowd gave him the “What?” treatment. He said he’s going to win tonight, win MITB, and then be in control of his destiny and take what’s his. He then gave an intimidating look to the interviewer and asked, “Do you understand?”
-The announcers, on camera, talked about Reigns and the MITB qualifier.
-MITB soundbites aired next. Bayley said since she’s a hugger, she can’t think of anything better than wrapping her arms around the MITB briefcase. Breezango talked about how to get the MITB briefcase and suggested a Bedazzler Grabber.
-Goldust told Angle that he only met one man who didn’t want to fight. He was quoting “Million Dollar Baby,” 2004. Angle asked what that means. Goldust said it means he wants an opportunity to qualify for MITB because it’s his quest and ultimate goal. In walked Jinder Mahal with his cartoon villain snarl. He demanded to know why he’s not in the Triple Threat match and he asked why Reigns is. He said Reigns keeps getting opportunities and he doesn’t. Angle said he doesn’t deserve anything because he hasn’t won a match since he came to Raw. Angle said he has a match with Chad Gable tonight, so if he puts on a good show tonight, he’ll consider MITB. Goldust quoted “All About Eve,” 1950, then huffed at Angle.
-No Way Jose, Titus O’Neal, and Apollo Crews made their entrance with the Conga Line. [c]
(2) NO WAY JOSE (w/the Conga Line) & TITUS O’NEAL & APOLLO CREWS vs. BARON CORBIN & THE REVIVAL
Cole kept talking about how great Titus’s misstep was in the Rumble. (Every time Cole mentions it, it becomes 5 percent less funny.) No Way Jose got a hot tag late in the match, but after a distraction by Dawson, Corbin blind-tagged in and Jose took an End of Days suddenly from Corbin for the loss.
WINNERS: Corbin & Revival in 7:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: No Way Jose took the pin, but only after a distraction, so he was “protected” a little. Corbin getting the pin makes sense compared to either member of The Revival and he looked like the biggest star in this match.) [c]
-WWE Fact: WWE touted the social media interactivity for Backlash, beating out American Idol, NHL, NBA, Westworld on HBO, and more.
(3) EMBER MOON vs. SASHA BANKS vs. RUBY RIOTT (w/Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan)
Cole talked about Ember tweeting that she is ready to rise in the division. Coach said some would say Ember is too young to rise quickly. Graves took exception to Coach saying someone would say that. Ember got in offense early, then Riott for several minutes.
[HOUR TWO]
Eventually Banks got in some offense.. Banks launched onto Morgan and Logan at ringside, but then Riott dropkicked her off the ring apron. Ember then dove through the ropes and tackled Riott hard and Riott’s head hit the back of the ringside barrier. Yikes. She quickly threw her into the ring and scored a near fall. Ember climbed to the top, but Logan yanked her off the top rope.
Fans turned and yelled, “You deserve it!” at someone in the crowd. Sasha then took over on Riott in the ring. Logan and Morgan attacked Banks when she had Riott rolled up with a sunset flip. Cole said the match is no DQ (which is absolutely stupid). Bayley ran out quickly to help Sasha, attacking Logan and Morgan. Cole said Bayley is “finally doing the right thing.” Graves said it wasn’t the smart thing and she should have tried to join the Riott Squad. Bayley then saved Sasha from a two-on-one attack at ringside. Sasha battled Riott in the ring next. Ember surprised Riott with an Eclipse as Sasha had her in an armbar and then scored a quick three count.
WINNER: Ember in 10:00. [c]
-Charlie Caruso interviewed Ember Moon who talked about rising to the challenge as an underdog. She said she proved she is full of honor and heart, and she will rise to the challenge of grabbing the MITB contract.
-They went to the announcers who reacted to Ember’s win. (I think the reenforcing of wins like this.) They threw to a video package on Bobby Lashley.
-A video package showed Lashley amateur wrestling footage. Then they talked about him being the son of a drill sergeant. Then it said untimely knee injury dashed his Olympic hopes, but he ended up crossing paths with Angle who suggested he try out with WWE. WWE footage aired, including his early ECW wins and eventually headlining WrestleMania. Then it talked about his entrance into MMA where he became 15-2. And now, after ten years away, he has returned to WWE. (No surprise they didn’t even hint at his time in TNA.)
-A sit-down interviewed with Renee Young and Lashley. She said people know about his wrestling career, but what about him as a man. He talked about his family. He said he is close to his sisters, although when he was a kid, he thought they were nasty to him. He said they would tie him up in the backyard and leave him there for hours. He said they thought it was funny. He said one of his sisters chased him around with a broom. He joked that she should just take off on the broom. He said that set her off and she chased him around with it. She said another sister had a “security towel” kind of like a security blanket, and she got it from her grandma. She said a bully took it from her, so he found the bully and he took the towel and shoved it down his throat. “I bet that towel was really tasty for him,” he said. Then he talked about his sister carrying his dad’s Army helmet with her everywhere. He said he hid it from her. She pointed at a scar on his face near his eye that was a result of her getting back at him for it. He said he enjoyed every second of it. He said he has a second family now, the WWE Universe, “and we’re going to have a lot of fun together.” He said hello to his sisters and said he loves them. Renee thanked him for his time.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was kind of weird, but I like in general trying to find a way to establish some layers to Lashley’s personality. I’m not sure having sisters who tortured him when he was little is a way to build fan support for him, but I’m glad they tried something here because it’s not like there’s an obvious track record of Lashley as a babyface showing range as a character they can just go to.)
-Backstage Sami Zayn told KO that he feels there is a cloud of conspiracy that follows them everywhere. Owens asked Sami about how he behaved yesterday. Sami said that was yesterday, but now they need to seize power together and win the Universal Title, and that means winning the MITB contract. He apologized for what happened yesterday, but they’d both be sorry if they didn’t qualify for the MITB qualifying match. He said it’s a Triple Threat, so that means anything goes, so he needed to know if he was with him. Owens said “Yeah.” Sami asked if he meant “Yep.” Owens sighed and said half-heartedly, “I mean yeah,” and then got up and left.
-Sunil Singh introduced Mahal. Coach said his “word of hour two” is “impressive” because that’s what Jinder needs to be in the eyes of Angle. [c]
(4) JINDER MAHAL (w/Sunil Singh) vs. CHAD GABLE
Mahal won with the Collaus. Gable got in a hope spot, but this was mostly to build Jinder. Jinder attacked Gable afterward and the fans booed. Jinder told Angle he hopes he was watching.
WINNER: Mahal in 4:00.
-A soundbite aired with Alexa Bliss saying that just because you’ve been bullied doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish your dreams. She said when she finally beat Nia, she’ll be a champion little girls can really look up to.
-A soundbite aired with Ascension who said “We will rise” and “turn Raw into the Wasteland.” [c]
-Backstage Zack Ryder approached Angle with his usual over-the-top enthusiasm. He mentioned he is the hometown boy and he wants to be a hometown hero by qualifying for the MITB match tonight. Angle said he’s a big fan, but sounded like he was on the verge of turning him down when Jinder entered. Jinder demanded that he be put in the Triple Threat match and to make it a Fatal Four-way. Angle said the answer is “no, bro.” Jinder snarled and left in a huff. Ryder and Angle laughed and fist-bumped.
(5) DREW MCINTYRE & DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. RHYNO & HEATH SLATER
Graves said Ziggler called him and told him about how the Raw locker room culture had decayed. Graves said they share the same mutual goal and they are what the business needs. Drew head-butted Rhyno off the ring apron. Ziggler and Drew then hit the Zig Zag/Claymore kick combo on Slater to win.
WINNERS: Ziggler & McIntyre in 2:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: I’m waiting to see how Drew being linked with Dolph helps Drew in any way. There’s not a real chemistry between them at all and Ziggler’s act was so tired and spent, he’s dragging down Drew. Maybe it will make sense eventually.) [c]
-Elias strummed his guitar in the ring and complained about being interrupted by pancakes and conga lines and worst of all Bobby Roode. He said if Roode interrupts him again, he will gladly rip apart his vocal cords. He said he will then go on to win the MITB ladder match. A loud “Rusev Day!” chant started. Cole said Rusev Day interrupted him last night, too. Elias told fans to shut their mouths while he played. He sang about Roode, spewing insults at him about being dead inside just like the fans. He closed with, “You can bring the Islanders back, but this place will still suck.” Roode’s entrance music then played. (The announcers blamed Roode, but someone had to push the button to start the music, and it wasn’t Roode.)
(6) BOBBY ROODE vs. ELIAS
The announcers talked about the silliness at Backlash with Elias and the conga line. Roode attacked Elias aggressively at the start. He leaped off the top rope with a clothesline. He played to the crowd and got moderate cheers briefly. Then he gave Elias an enzuigiri which knocked Elias to ringside. [c]
[HOUR THREE]
They showed that during the break, Elias knocked Roode off the top rope and had control since. Cole said Elias is a future champion. Elias tried to ram Roode into the ringpost, but Roode blocked it and then eventually hit the Glorious DDT for the win. Coach said Elias lost his focus and gloated to the crowd and it cost him.
WINNER: Roode in 11:00.
-Afterward, Roode told Caruso that beating Elias tonight was great, but winning the MITB ladder match will be absolutely glorious.
(Keller’s Analysis: They cut to the crowd and one person said “Glorious” with Roode, and the rest sat there with expressions that seemed to say, “Is that really all you got? Just playing off the word glorious constantly?” His babyface act is so blah. Calling it one-note doesn’t do justice to one-note gimmicks in pro wrestling. The fact that he builds up to saying “Glorious” like it’s the most clever thing in the world makes it all the more annoying. The Creative Team has to give him more to work with or, better yet, turn him heel)
-They showed Seth Rollins backstage. Cole said some are calling his match against Miz last night a Match of the Year so far. [c]
-Seth entered the ring and said Miz took him to the limit last night. He said he knows something about the MITB match creating opportunity, and he said he wants to issue an open challenge for the IC Title to give someone else an opportunity. Out came Mojo Rawley. He sauntered onto the stage and looked at the crowd. He said this is the Raw debut he deserves. He said when opportunity comes knocking, he knocks them down. He took a dig at Ryder, saying he’ll knock Seth down just like he did to Ryder. The fans briefly chanted “We Want Ryder.” He said he is going to win the IC Title and then win MITB. He said from here on out it’s not Monday Night Rollins but rather Monday Night Rawley. Seth said if he wants a fight, “come on in here and get your ass kicked, son.”
(7) SETH ROLLINS vs. MOJO RAWLEY – Intercontinental Title match
Mojo applied an early headlock. When Seth dove at Mojo at ringside, Mojo moved and then checked Seth hard into the boards. They cut to an early break. [c]
After the break, Mojo was in control. Seth eventually made a comeback and dove through the ropes twice onto Mojo, then hit a blockbuster for a near fall. (Coach again went into “ESPN Sage” mode talking about athletes like no one can share fascinating little known insights about what athletes are really like more than him. I’m all for a sports-like approach, but Coach goes to this card too often.) Mojo made a comeback by avoiding a Seth charge into the corner and then slamming Seth for a two count. Mojo got upset after a two count by the ref and he complained to the ref for a slow count. Graves said Mojo wasted valuable seconds there. (Coach again went into ESPN Sage mode by saying you don’t tear into the referee on the football field and you don’t do it in a wrestling ring either. At least he called it a “wrestling ring” and not a “sports entertainment raised platform.”) Seth then won with the Stomp seconds later. Coach wondered if Mojo did enough in that match to get the attention of Angle.
WINNER: Seth in 11:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Nice match. Mojo lost, but he looked like he belonged in the ring with someone of Seth’s level and was treated as a competitive challenger, so maybe they’ll finally get something out of him on a consistent basis, even if it’s a lower second tier heel that is a stepping stone for others.)
-A selfie promo aired where Balor began: “Why am I smiling?” Yes, everyone’s been asking that for the last two months. He said he’s looking forward to winning the Triple Threat match later and overcoming the odds. He said he will go on to win the MITB contract and the victory will be so much sweeter because of the challenges he faced along the way. [c]
-A soundbite aired with Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel who said they’re no longer The Miztourage or supporting acts. Bo said they are now leading men in a breakout role. Curtis said it’s in their DNA. Bo said turn them loose and see what happens.
(8) MATT HARDY & BRAY WYATT vs. BO DALLAS & CURTIS AXEL
Bray and Matt won with a double-team Sister Abigail.
WINNERS: Hardy & Bray in 4:00.
-A soundbite aired with Natalya who said it was an honor to compete in the first-ever women’s MITB ladder match. She told Two Paws “the contract is coming home to mama.”
-A selfie soundbite aired with Baron Corbin who said last year he walked into the MITB ladder match and he walked out the winner, and this year will be no different.” [c]
(9) ROMAN REIGNS vs. SAMI ZAYN vs. FINN BALOR – MITB Qualifier
Cole called the Sami and KO relationship “toxic.” Cole said Reigns should be champion because his feet did land on the floor first at the Greatest Royal Rumble. Cole plugged Raw in London next week and said Booker T will be there, not Coach. Sami yapped in Reigns’s face. Reigns gave him an uppercut. Balor smiled at Reigns. They locked up and Reigns immediately knocked him down and head-butted him. They cut to an early break with Reigns standing alone in the ring. [c]
When Sami and Balor double-teamed Roman and stomped away at him, the crowd stood and chanted “Yes! Yes! Yes!” This is just unbelievable. They fought Reigns around the arena floor and eventually knocked him out of the picture for an extended period. Graves called Sami and Balor a marriage of convenience.
[OVERRUN]
Sami took a cheap shot at Balor and controlled the action most of the way for the next few minutes. As they fought at ringside, there was booing, so you knew Reigns was crawling back to the picture. He leaped back to ringside and took down Sami. He hit Sami with the Drive By. Balor checked Reigns hard from behind into the ringside steps. Cheers. Balor then kicked Sami in the head. He checked on Reigns, then climbed to the top and went for the Coup de Grace, but Sami moved and then gave Balor an Exploder Suplex into the corner. Reigns returned to the ring and gave Sami a Superman Punch. He went for a spear, but Balor hit him with a Sling Blade. The crowd cheered. Balor climbed to the top and went for the Coup de Grace, but Reigns moved. Then he hit Balor with the Superman Punch. Jinder tripped Reigns as he set up the spear. Sami hit the Helluva kick on Reigns. Balor then hit Sami and landed the Coup de Grace.
WINNER: Balor in 15:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: This continued Reigns babyface push is just becoming entertaining on a level that nothing else in pro wrestling ever has been. It’s just this fascinating display of stubbornness by Vince McMahon that I think wouldn’t stop even if it took down his company. He has the luxury not to worry about that happening because of the considerable wiggle room his financials give him, though.)
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If Roman was a McMahon, maybe I would understand his stubbornness, but to never give up with someone who just works for him, sacrificing a lot of heel heat and babyface heat for other wrestlers along the way that Roman comes across, it makes no sense.
The ratings will continue to reflect that too. Did you see all the people walking out during the Reigns match at Backlash. They were literally heading for the exits during the main event. Sad.
Yeah, when will he get the message? Has he lost a bet or something?
I have no idea what they are doing, but they don’t seem to have any idea either. 🙂 It is a shame as hot as Rollins is right now with the crowd, they should be running with him in the main event picture.
Another yawner. IS it XFL season yet? Hahahaha.
So far I like the MITB matches getting filled with newcomers… well, folks who haven’t been in 10 of them. BTW, for Coach Kane is roughly Brauns size and WON a MITB and cashed in the same night and Big Show brought the Big Ladder to his MITB. Yes, Vince we have memories… And congrats to progressive for being the first to take advantage of Titus World Slide.
I was thinking that D Bob when they said no one his size has been in the match. Maybe they meant his exact size. 😉 Hahah. There sure have been bigger guys in the match. Excellent point.