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KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MAY 28, 201918
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK
Announcers: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
-A video package aired on last week’s Dolph Ziggler-Kofi Kingston angle.
-Kevin Owens walked to the ring as Phillips said they’re having a “massive start to Smackdown Live with a pay-per-view main event caliber match-up.” A video package then aired on KO being an honorary member of New Day only to turn on them. They went back to the ring live where KO sat on the top turnbuckle with a mic in hand. KO said originally he was going to kick off Smackdown with a Kevin Owens Show, but after being there all day, he can’t think of anything worse than being in the middle of the ring in Oklahoma giving a KO Show to fans who are not worthy. He said the only thing helping make this worthwhile is he knows in a few minutes he gets to beat the hell out of Kofi. Boos.
He said he has developed a taste for dishing out punishment to members of The New Day. “I have nothing to do with what happened to Big E last week when he was attacked in the locker room,” he said. He said Big E sweats all the time and might have had sweat in his eyes or he got distracted while tweeting one of his “patented hilarious” tweets. “I would never do something like that,” he said. He said fans can blame him for Kofi Kingston’s fairy tale ending at Super Showdown when Ziggler beats him for the WWE Title because that will be a direct results of what he does to Kofi tonight on Smackdown. He told Ziggler he doesn’t want a thank you card or text, but rather thank him in person with a shot at the title. Phillips interrupted and talked over him and said, “Can we please get to this match?!” KO began yelling it all comes back to him because it’s all about him. “I am the show! I am the best!” he shouted. New Day music interrupted and out came Kofi with a platter of pancakes.
Kofi told KO to stop with all the lies. He said everybody knows he attacked Big E. (No, we don’t all *know* that.) He said KO is not a good person and he’s a liar. He said when he says he’ll soften him up for Ziggler, that’s just KO lying to himself. He said he won’t soften him up. He said what’s actually going to happen is that tonight he pays. He said even though he’s not at 100 percent, he will pay for what he’s done to them. He said KO will leave with a full understanding of what makes him the WWE Champion. He sang and swiveled the final words.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good seriously intensity from Kingston there.)
(1) KOFI KINGSTON vs. KEVIN OWENS – Non-Title match
Kofi jump-started the match, literally, with a flying dropkick as the bell was ringing. KO fired back with a kick to the jaw and some stomps. Kofi rolled to the floor and they cut to a break. [c]
Back live, Kofi was trying to fight back into the ring when KO snapped his head over the top rope. KO laughed and celebrated before rolling to the floor and mouthing off to some fans. Graves said Kofi is one of the biggest targets, if not the biggest, in WWE today. He said last night Seth Rollins began to unravel and the same is happening to Kofi. Phillips quickly said he sees no evidence of that. Saxton agreed. Graves said looking into Kofi’s eyes, you can see a million things are going on at any one time.
Kofi eventually made a comeback with a side kick and then ducking charging Owens, who fell to the floor. Kofi then landed a running dive over the top rope, although he basically landed with a huge thud on his back and brushed the side of KO. Graves acknowledged Kofi might’ve gotten the worst of it. Owens blocked an S.O.S. and then Kofi blocked a Stunner. Kofi then landed the S.O.S. for a two count. Owens took over again when he shoved Kofi off the top rope to the floor. [c]
They stayed with the action on split screen. Owens dominated during the break and then settled into a chinlock shorting before returning to live action. Kofi was nearly counted out. KO set up a top rope move as Graves said maybe the ref should stop the match. Kofi landed a roundkick to knock KO off balance. KO headbutted Kofi off the top rope and then landed a top rope senton for a very near fall. KO pounded the mat in frustration. Kofi recovered enough to counter a Pop Up Powerbomb and surprised KO with a Trouble in Paradise for the win. They showed Ziggler watching on a monitor backstage.
WINNER: Kingston in 17:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: The match that might have happened in Saudi Arabia if KO wanted to go there for a big payday instead takes place on Smackdown, with Ziggler watching and preparing for the title match next week. Good match.)
-Backstage a non-sweaty dapper smiling Shane McMahon was chatting with Elias and Drew McIntyre. Graves said it’s Shane McMahon Appreciation Night.
-R-Truth and Carmella were running backstage. Truth stopped and said they’ve been running non-stop since he won the “European Championship.” He said people are chasing him at airports, malls, picnics, and even at the dentist office. He said it’s hard to get a cavity filled when people are trying to kill him. He then heard a noise and ran away with Carmella on his back. Drake Maverick then showed up and taped “R-Truth Wanted” posters on the wall and doors. Graves said he is leaving no stone unturned. Truth and Carmella snuck out of the laundry room where they hid briefly.
-Daniel Bryan and Rowan made their way to the ring with the nasty controversial recycling symbol spinning on the big screen above their head.
-A Super Showdown commercial aired. [c]
-WWE touted that it now has over 1 billion social media followers worldwide. (Torch Fact: It’s actually 10 fans who follow WWE on 100 million different platforms.)
-Kayla Braxton interviewed Bryan & Rowan. Bryan said the Smackdown Tag Team Division is a bad joke that makes you cringe, not laugh. Rowan told a knock knock joke: “Knock knock… Knock knock who?… The Smackdown Tag Team Division?… The Smackdown Tag Team Division who?… Exactly. Ha ha ha ha.” Bryan asked if everyone gets it. Bryan said they are not a joke – they have ambition and purpose. He said they’ll become the greatest WWE tag team of all time and they dedicate their lives to saving this planet. He said that’s unlike all of those people “who wasted their Memorial Day Weekend eating the beautiful creatures of this planet.” He said the people shoved hot dogs in their faces that was once the flesh of a pig named Wiggles. He said the burgers came from a cow named Wilbur. He said those beautiful creatures all have names. He said the people of Oklahoma are worse than anybody because it’s a leader in hydraulic fracturing, otherwise known as fracking. He said they are the leaders in deep oil drilling, which brings them earthquakes. “How about your earthquakes? Infinitely more earthquakes than Oklahoma has ever had!?” He said their mission statement is to save the tag team division and save the planet because they are The Planet’s Tag Team Champions.
Kayla said she is told that there are some teams who would like to challenge them. Bryan asked who that would be. Out came Heavy Machinery. (This is perfect because WWE has featured them winning tag team matches on TV lately. Oh wait, that didn’t happen. Not at all.) Graves said he’s concerned with how many animals it takes to feed Tucker and Otis. Otis said Bryan & Rowan are a great tag team, and as much as they love having fun, it’s time for them to get to some blue collar solid business. Otis said that business is those Smackdown Tag Team Championships. Otis yanked off his jean jacket and asked for a match. A referee ran to the ring. Bryan said they accept their challenge. He said they’ll be sorry they ever made it. He said they’ll have that match, “but just not here in this fracking state of Oklahoma.” They left the ring as Otis and Tucker yelled at them.
-They showed Bayley warming up backstage. Saxton revealed she would face Lacey Evans tonight. (That’d have been nice to share sooner than this moment.)
-Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose carried a stack of Muscle & Fitness Hers magazine that featured Rose on the cover. They handed it to various people backstage including what are likely two members of the creative team. They gave them to the IIconics who showed off their latest t-shirt in a sneaky merchandise plug. Then they happened upon Ember Moon who was reading “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.” They shoved all of the magazines in her lap. [c]
(2) MANDY ROSE (w/Sonya Deville) vs. CARMELLA
Mandy shoved Carmella head-first into the middle turnbuckle to take control, then stomped away at her and settled into a chinlock. They exchanged roll-ups and near falls. Mandy landed a flying knee to Carmella’s chest. Carmella came back with a head scissors and a boot to the face. She then moonwalked and hit a Bronco Buster leading to another two count. Deville stood on the ring apron and briefly distracted Carmella with the magazine, which led to Mandy scoring the pin with a surprise roll-up.
WINNER: Rose in 3:00.
-They showed R-Truth sneaking around backstage wearing his 24/7 Title. Jinder Mahal attacked him and rolled up Truth for a two count. Truth then threw Jinder out of the building. Truth hid in a picture booth as B-Team, Matt Hardy, Noam Dar, and a couple others ran by. Truth stepped out of the booth and then Drake bumped into him. Drake didn’t realize who it was at first, then chased after Truth.
-Shane, Drew, and Elias made their way to the ring. [c]
-An Aleister Black vignette aired. He talked about the heretic ways of man and all he has done. He said it’s obvious that everyone is waiting for him to throw out a name and pick a fight with somebody. He said therein lies a conundrum. He said he is sitting there, waiting patiently for somebody, anybody to pick a fight with him. He smiled and stared at the camera.
-The ring announcer Greg Hamilton introduced Shane McMahon Appreciation Night. Shane credited Drew with the idea for Shane McMahon Appreciation Night. He said he was hesitant at first. Drew said it was true, rather unconvincingly. Shane said he doesn’t do what he does day in and day out for a trophy or adulation or even celebration. He said he enjoys his life and being out there in front of the fans. “Quite frankly, I’m just really a humble man.” He said he came back home to help run a family business. He said the greatest adulation he could have is looking out in the crowd and seeing smiles on faces. (He’s somehow managed to avoid saying WWE Universe so far.) He said he wants smiles on fans’ faces after Smackdown tonight. He threw to a Shane video package showing in-ring highlights of his career. Fans booed. Graves said that’s impressive. Shane thanked the production team led by Kevin Dunn. When there were some boos, Shane said there’s no reason to boo Dunn. Shane said he’s sick and tired of Roman Reigns thinking he can walk around and break all the rules. He said the McMahon Family has been putting food on his family’s table for generations. (Actually, the wrestlers’ hard work is also what makes it possible for WWE management to put food on their tables.) Shane said he’s going to beat some respect into Reigns at Super Showdown because he bit the hand that feeds him. Then there was awkward silence. Then Elias broke in and said that was powerful. Elias said in honor of him, he wrote him a song. He said he hopes he doesn’t mind. Shane was excited.
Elias sang: “You’re the best in the world, the greatest man I ever saw, better than the best, just like Texas is better than Oklahoma.” Truth ran through the crowd and into the ring with the 24/7 Title. Drake ran into the ring. Truth gave Drake a face plant for a three count to successfully defend his title. The bell rang and his music played.
(3) R-TRUTH vs. DRAKE MAVERICK – 24/7 Title match
WINNER: Truth to retain the title.
Shane wasn’t happy. Truth began dancing. Shane asked Truth if he’s kidding him. He kicked Truth. Drew slammed him down hard. They all stomped away at him. Elias gave him a Drift Away. Drew then delivered a Claymore Kick. Elias then scored the three count.
(4) ELIAS vs. R-TRUTH – 24/7 Title match
WINNER: Elias to capture the 24/7 Title.
-Shane said he had an idea. He suspended the 24/7 rule until the end of the show when Elias will team with Drew against Reigns and Truth. Phillips said Shane is stacking the deck against Reigns. Graves said Truth is paying a price for not appreciating Shane McMahon, and Phillips could be next. Graves said he’d happily announce the show himself.
-Kayla interviewed a Raw wildcard, Lacey Evans. Evans sipped tea and said she’s not wild. The camera panned over and revealed Charlotte was drinking tea with her. They said they’re going to send Bayley back to the playground later. Graves said The Lady & The Queen is “class personified.”
-Bayley made her ring entrance. [c]
-Phillips promoted Lars Sullivan vs. Lucha House Party in Lars’ first official WWE match.
(5) LACEY EVANS vs. BAYLEY
Charlotte joined the announcers on commentary. The screen noted that #SDLive was the no. 1 trend on Twitter. Evans took control early. Bayley rolled to the floor. Charlotte stood up and walked over to Bayley. They cut to a break. [c]
They stayed with the action on split screen where Lacey dominated Bayley throughout. Bayley eventually made a comeback and kicked and clotheslined Lacey at ringside. Charlotte stood and got in her face again. Bayley threw Lacey into the ring, then knocked Charlotte into the chair. Charlotte slid into the ring and yelled at the ref as Lacey rolled up Bayley. The ref was preoccupied with Charlotte and then Bayley kicked out. Bayley then rolled up Lacey for the win. Saxton said this is a “renewed Bayley.”
WINNER: Bayley in 9:00.
-Lacey attacked Charlotte from behind. Charlotte came back with a foot to the face. Bayley stood and watched with a smile.
(Keller’s Analysis: Tension between Charlotte and Lacey feels premature. Good to see Bayley on a good track now.)
-They showed Carmella giving Truth a pep talk backstage.
-Graves hyped the Super Showdown line-up. [c]
-They announced that next Monday night, Undertaker returns to hype his match against Goldberg. They went to the announcers on camera who said it will be a night of legends. Then they threw to a video package on Triple H and Randy Orton.
-Backstage, the unnamed interviewer asked Andrade and Zelina about facing Finn Balor at Super Showdown. She threw to a video clip of Balor on WWE.com last week talking about the punishment he took onto the ladder at Money in the Bank. Andrade said he didn’t just get powerbombed on the ladder, he powerbombed him on a ladder. He said he will find his inner demon when he steps up to Andrade.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good for Andrade for working on his English, but he’d be better off punctuating Zelina’s comments and not trying to enunciate his way through several sentences with awkward context that is difficult to understand. His demeanor is strong, though.)
-Reigns made his ring entrance. [c]
-The Firefly Funhouse vignette that aired on Raw last night aired again.
-Truth then made his ring entrance. He could barely walk as he clutched his ribs. Elias and Drew ran out and attacked Truth. Roman quickly ran to Truth’s aid and beat up both Elias and Drew.
(6) ROMAN REIGNS & R-TRUTH vs. DREW MCINTYRE & ELIAS (w/Shane McMahon)
Truth struggled to stand in his corner as Reigns took a beating from both heels when he gained early control. Roman eventually hot-tagged Truth who put a spirited rally against both heels. Drew soon took over and tossed Truth out of the ring and slammed him onto the ring apron. [c]
Graves said when you are powerful, people genuinely want to be friends with you, so it’s no surprise Drew has aligned with Shane. Phillips said it’s a means to an end. Truth hot-tagged Reigns to a nice pop who went after Elias with a flying clothesline. He gave Drew an uppercut. He clotheslined Elias in the corner overall and over (although they’re terrible looking so they have to change camera angles every half second to create an illusion of actual contact). Reigns gave Drew a Superman Punch when Drew stood on the ring apron. He chased down Elias at ringside and gave him a Superman Punch. Shane tried to blindside Reigns, but Reigns brushed him off and punched him. Drew tried to Claymore Kick Reigns, but Reigns moved and Drew landed on the table. Reigns then speared Elias mid-ring for the win.
WINNERS: Reigns & Truth.
-After the match Reigns speared Elias again. He then encouraged Truth to crawl over and cover Elias.
(7) R-TRUTH vs. ELIAS – 24/7 Title match
WINNER: Truth to regain the 24/7 Title.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Pretty much a paint-by-numbers episode, but with some feel-good babyface wins for Kofi, Bayley, Reigns & Truth, and finally Truth.