SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
MAYHEM ON MILLS V: GIMMIE SHELTER
JUNE 30, 2019, 3:00PM
ORLANDO, FLA. AT THE ORANGE STUDIO
REPORT BY TOM STOUP, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Estimated attendance: 250
Presented by Total Punk, Mayhem on Mills ran indoors near their usual outdoor location Will’s Pub and took the roofed and air-conditioned opportunity to spruce up their entrance stage. Prior to bell time, some wrestlers mingled with the audience as Top Rope Wrestling Podcast set up to record commentary. Two of the emcees, an Andy Kaufman/Tony Clifton-esque pair, promoted the bar and walked through the crowd and asked which matches fans were most anticipating.
To open the show proper, the emcees entered to the Rolling Stones’ “Gimme Shelter” and immediately announced that the night’s championship match would be up first.
(1) Troy Hollywood pinned Serpentico to retain the Mills Championship. Serpentico took a mic to address Hollywood, who popped upon hearing his own name. Serpentico said congratulations would be in order, but there’s one problem. Hollywood said, “It’s that I’m black; I knew it!” Serpentico said the problem is that it’s all fun and games with Hollywood. Serpentico said he, himself, is the solution, and that he would make Hollywood “Serpentico’s b—h.” Hollywood laughed it off, saying the real problem must be that he didn’t attend Serpentico’s quinceañera. Serpentico attacked Hollywood, eventually superkicking him on the outside and diving through the ropes onto him and into the audience. He rammed Hollywood’s head into a support beam, and rolled Hollywood back in the ring for two. He followed up with a powerslam for another near fall. Hollywood pumped up the crowd on the turnbuckle but Serpentico hit him with a springboard German suplex. Serpentico flipped off the crowd before delivering a superplex which Hollywood rolled through to deliver a release falcon’s arrow. Hollywood caught Serpentico in a handspring back elbow and German suplexed him for a close two. Serpentico hit a Canadian destroyer and a swanton for a near fall. He glared at the crowd in disbelief as they sarcastically chanted “one more time,” then grabbed a chair and hurled it at Hollywood’s head. He then rammed a chair into Hollywood’s crotch, and used another chair to hammer it in harder, then covering Hollywood for two. He set up for a piledriver on a chair, but Hollywood fought out of it and delivered a cutter on the chair. Hollywood followed up with a superkick and an inverted lumbar check for the win. After the decision Serpentico snatched the title belt and made as though he was about to attack Hollywood, but he handed the belt over and congratulated the champ.
(Stoup analysis: Serpentico is so good at opening a show that while I should have been happy for him, I almost lamented he would be in what appeared to be booked as the night’s main event. I got my Serpentico opener after all, and like always he set the tone for what was to come while serving as a perfectly suitable interim challenger for the promotion’s freshly crowned inaugural champion.)
(2) The Gym Nasty Boys (White Mike & Timmy Lou Retton) defeated Mad Broke (Milo Beasley & Kilynn King) via pinfall. King started against White Mike, who accused King of being “too white.” Mike insisted he was “okay” after failing to kip up out of a wrist lock takedown. King grinded on Mike during a waistlock, and at first he protested before happily concurring that it “was alright.” Mike complained that his long hair was in his way after a sequence of roll-up attempts. Beasley tagged in and suffered a poke to the eyes. He consoled himself with his teddy bear, which official Frank Gastineau began checking for foreign objects. Beasley took the opportunity to return the eye poke. Mike rolled out, looked at the concrete floor and said “Whoa, not today,” but then Beasley dove on Mike on the outside. Retton yelled “Merry Christmas” and kicked Beasley, then took King’s stuffed rabbit and began making out with it. King was disgusted, and delivered a cross body from the apron before Retton could follow through on going to third base with the plushie. Back in the ring Retton took control of Beasley with a variety of chokeholds. He knocked King from the apron and threatened to harm Beasley’s bear. Beasley protected his bear as Mike tagged in and stomped at him. King mocked the Gym Nastys’ high-pitched laughter and shrieks as she tagged in and cleared house. She suplexed Retton, who got his foot on the rope to break the believable pinning attempt. Retton slammed King and hit a moonsault from the top turnbuckle for two. Mayhem broke lose as Beasley tagged in, and he eventually lifted King in a fireman’s carry and cannonballed her into Retton. Mike caught Beasley in a headlock airplane spin, and turned it into a spinning neckbreaker for the win. After the bell Beasley and King were again upset with one another, each blaming the other for their second loss in a row. Beasley said, “This is what I get for teaming with a girl.” King hit Beasley’s bear and said she would wrestle on her own.
(Stoup analysis: The Gym Nastys are one of several current acts who characterize themselves as pathetic despite having some impressive tricks up their sleeves, and how hilarious that can be works just fine in the context of an independent show without taking away from their babyface opponents. King has been carving a name for herself and here showed more personality here than with her prior time out in the Mad Broke pairing. Whether she next faces Beasley in a grudge match or wrestles singles, she’ll have my attention at the next Mayhem on Mills show. Beasley often conducts fun and informative backstage interviews for his YouTube channel, so it will be interesting to see whom if anyone he may have interviewed today.)
Chuck Steak introduced “The Absolute Worst” Drennen with a deliberate lack of enthusiasm, and Drennen accused Steak of spreading misinformation. Drennen took credit for the air conditioned venue, saying he was wrestling Effy in a parking lot for Mayhem on Mills before wrestling Effy was cool. He plugged his website and said fans can go there to “hear the truth.” He said he is Mayhem on Mills, and Teddy Stigma interrupted to a warm reaction. Drennen wanted no part of Stigma and left. Stigma said it was the easiest fight he’d ever had.
(3) Teddy Stigma pinned Chuckles the Clown. Chuckles drew his middle finger from his bag of tricks, and warmed up by repeatedly ramming his own head against the turnbuckle pad. At the bell Stigma rammed Chuckles’ head in the turnbuckle some more but Chuckles demonstrated how to do it properly before taking a hilarious Ric Flair bump. Chuckles grabbed his PVC pipe and hit himself in the head, tempting Stigma to cover him. He then popped up and told the official and individuals in the crowd that they are idiots, because he “was faking!” Chuckles twitched and laughed maniacally as he wriggled out of Stigma’s offense and worked his own. He called himself “HBK” as in “the Heartbreak Klown,” and went for a rubber chicken from his bag of tricks. He shoved the chicken in Stigma’s mouth and hit a superkick (sweet chicken music?) and a flip from the top turnbuckle for two. He then dumped a pile of rubber chickens onto the mat. Stigma fought to superplex Chuckles onto the pile. Stigma then hit a fireman’s carry flapjack for three. He helped Chuckles to his feet, and celebrated with the clown as they threw rubber chickens to the fans.
(Stoup analysis: Relative to contemporaries, Mayhem on Mills infuses comedy without going so far into the preposterous that it takes away from the more serious bouts. Shaggy from “Scooby-Doo” look-alike Stigma is a guy one can’t help but cheer for, and he effectively played the straight man to Chuckles’ bizarre gags. As for Chuckles, he may well have been the sleeper hit of the whole show.)
The emcees comically plugged their “wrestling academy for kids” where children can learn to use tables, ladders, and chairs, and how to be like Drennen.
(4) Snoop Strikes (a/k/a Kotto Brazil, with Sawyer Wreck) defeated Trish Adora, Beastly, Hunter Law, and Wolfe Taylor to become #1 contender to the Mills Championship. Troy Hollywood joined commentary for the match. Strikes offered Adora a fist bump but faked her out. The action exploded at the bell, with Wolfe hurling Beastly to the outside and Adora and Law going move for move between the ropes. Law and Strikes soon faced off and Law sank stinging chops into Strikes’ chest. Adora went for Strikes but Wreck pulled Strikes to safety. Strikes suplexed Adora, and was then tower-of-doom superplexed by his four opponents. Wreck stepped in and double-chokeslammed Adora and Beastly. Strikes desperately covered all four fallen wrestlers in succession for a quartet of twos. Law nailed a swinging backbreaker on Strikes for two of his own, then shouted “Got ’em” as he simultaneously hit a cutter and a DDT on Wolfe and Adora, respectively. Beastly twisted Strikes’ nipples, drawing great concern from Wreck. Drennen ran in and attacked Wolfe with a chair and said “I’ll see you Friday,” in reference to their upcoming No Peace Underground match. Adora destroyed Beastly with a sit-out powerbomb, then went after Strikes again to a huge pop. Adora ducked an attack from Wreck but was rolled up by Strikes for the decision. Hollywood left the ringside commentary desk and checked on Adora. Strikes offered Hollywood a handshake but slapped the champ, which incited a pull-apart brawl. Adora took Hollywood’s side, and of course Wreck was on Strikes’. Chuckles the Clown, Kilynn King, and the Gym Nasty Boys as well as members of event staff ran out from the back to help keep the wrestlers apart.
(Stoup analysis: Adora, who has appeared on WWE NXT in a one-off against Kairi Sane, got over very nicely here despite a fair number of fans seemingly being unsure who she was upon her entrance (which was saved for last). By the end of the match and into the post-match brawl the crowd was going wild for her to the point that a mixed tag between the warring pairs started to look appealing. The action between Law and Strikes also stood out, as the two have formed something of a rivalry (marked by their bloody outing at the prior Mayhem on Mills event, “Mills Gets a Champ”). Strikes continues to impress every time out, and his much taller muscle Wreck is a true highlight as she owns her every move every time out.)
(5) Treehouse Lee & Saieve al Sabah defeated the Ugly Ducklings (Rob Killjoy & Lance Lude, with Coach Mikey) via pinfall. Killjoy bit the rope as part of his entrance pose, and reacted as though it tasted bad. Mikey heaved after the Ducklings’ amped entrance, and said, “I think I’m pregnant.” Killjoy and Lee went move for move from the onset as al Sabah appeared displeased with the crowd’s chants of “quack” in support of the Ducklings. Al Sabah backdropped his partner onto Lude from the apron for two. He tried to mount an offensive but was met with a missile dropkick from Killjoy before the Ducklings traded running shooting star presses for two. Al Sabah finally found a tag and Lee hit a top turnbuckle cross body on both Ducklings, kicking off of Lude and rolling him into a leverage pin with a head scissors for two. As the Ducklings rallied on the outside, Lee corkscrew backflipped over the top rope onto all three of them, knocking Mikey into the crowd. Back in the ring Al Sabah tagged in and stood on Lude’s neck. He hit a standing flip onto Lude for two. Lee tagged in and worked a headlock on Lude while al Sabah demanded “no clapping!” Lude kicked Lee away and al Sabah and Killjoy tagged in. Killjoy hit a springboard moonsault for two and charged up the crowd with “quack” chants. He backflipped onto Lee on the outside from the top rope, then both Ducklings flipped over the top rope onto their opponents. Al Sabah and Lee recovered, and the former tossed the latter onto Killjoy for a believable two. The match broke down, and Lude dove onto his opponents from a ten-foot set of rolling stairs. Al Sabah required the help of fans to get back to the ring, where he and Lee double dropkicked Coach Mikey before Mikey could attempt some kind of attack to the outside of his own. Al Sabah broke up a believable pin with a running flip after Lude monkey-flipped Killjoy into Lee. Al Sabah lawn-darted Lude into Coach Mikey on the outside, then hit a Canadian destroyer on Killjoy. Lee rotated into a high angle cutter on Killjoy from the top turnbuckle and pinned him for three. Al Sabah addressed the crowd to introduce himself as “the divine leader,” and “the child of the eigth day.” He paid the same enthusiasm upon introducing the “authored by nature” Lee. He said he’s hurt and shouldn’t be there – he was indeed spotted limping slightly before the show – but he had to take the chance to wrestle the Ducklings, who he believes are the hardest working and best tag team in professional wrestling. He said Mayhem on Mills is one of the most progressive promotions in the world because of people like the Ducklings. He encouraged fans to buy Ducklings merch, and led a “quack” chant.
Chuck Steak invited everyone to continue the party at Mayhem on Mills’ usual home just a block away, Will’s Pub.
(Stoup analysis: I’m typically critical of promos such as the one al Sabah delivered at the end of this action-packed main event, and I may be biased in this case, but al Sabah kept everything in-character and sounded genuine without spoiling the contest we’d just witnessed. His words ring true for the fan experience, as well. For myself, I may have been drawn to finally attend Mayhem on Mills events thanks to personal favorite wrestlers like al Sabah himself as well as Barrington Hughes and Snoop Strikes promoting the events through social media, but hearing about the Ducklings’ work – specifically their match against Parrow & Odinson at Mayhem on Mills III – was the original reason the unique promotion hit my radar as something likely worth checking out. Though of course the decision to run indoors was wise considering the blazing hot season and the promotion did a remarkable job maximizing the potential of the alternate venue, I do look forward to a return to Will’s Pub as the outdoor experience feels even more like a party.)
If you attend a live event, please send results with details on the matches, crowd reactions, and attendance to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks!
Tom Stoup co-hosts the “PWT Talks NXT” Dailycast and reports on NXT tapings from Full Sail University. Follow @TomStoup on Twitter.