SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE SMACKDOWN
APRIL 7, 2006
TAPED TUESDAY
REPORT BY WADE KELLER
-After the opening montage, Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show. Cole said WrestleMania was incredible five days earlier. They then plugged two “huge main events,” an Undertaker vs. Mark Henry rematch and Rey Mysterio’s first WWE Title defense against Randy Orton. Cole said Mysterio on Sunday became the smallest WWE Champion of all time.
1 — MNM (Mercury & Nitro w/Melina) vs. BRIAN KENDRICK & PAUL LONDON – Non-Title Tag Match
Tazz again touted MNM has having the greatest entrance in the history of wrestling. I’m still partial toward Ultimate Warrior’s. Kendrick & London yanked Melina off the ring apron just as she was doing the splits to enter the ring. Are they turning heel? They went to work with a double-team attack on Nitro. Cole said something about “how these cats like to roll.” Not sure if he was trying to pass that off as a natural part of his lexicon or not, but it sounded silly. Melina tripped Kendrick coming off the ropes at 1:30. Mercury settled into a rear bearhug on the mat. Cole talked about what a great year MNM have had since joining WWE a year earlier. Melina raked Kendrick’s eyes at ringside, then MNM remained on offense. Regarding Melina, Tazz said, “Even she’s angry, she’s hot.”
When Cole questioned Tazz’s admiration for Melina’s primal scream, Tazz said, “If you stopped shaving your chest, you’d get what I’m saying.” Great line, but the image is a little disturbing. The look on the faces of the Japanese photographers when Melina screams for no reason out of nowhere is entertaining. Melina again choked Kendrick on the ropes at 5:00. Kendrick kicked out of a series of MNM pin attempts. Kendrick hot-tagged Long at 7:00, but the ref was distracted and didn’t see it. MNM isolated Kendrick for further beating. Kendrick, seconds later, somersaulted toward his corner and hot-tagged London. London showed good Greg Gagne-style fire as he went to work on MNM. He scored a near fall 30 seconds after the tag on Nitro after a dropsault.
Nitro from ringside yanked London’s neck over the top rope, and then MNM set up the Snapshot. Kendrick jumped into the ring and blocked it. London then used a victory roll to score a near fall on Mercury. Cole yelled, “What a match-up!” London went tot he top rope, but Melina distracted the ref as Nitro shoved him off the top rope. London, though, surprised Mercury with a roll-up pin. MNM’s look of shock at the loss was only outdone by London & Kendrick’s reaction, which was the equivalent of women on “The Price is Right” winning a new car.
WINNERS: London & Kendrick at 9:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — Good, fundamental tag match with good psychology and a healthy dose of athleticism. That would have been a nice addition to WrestleMania, with the Playboy Pillow Fight being subtracted.
-Backstage they showed G.M. Teddy Long telling someone on the phone about Rey defending against Randy Orton. Booker T and Shamell walked in, a little too happy. Long reminded them that Booker lost and Sharmell had an open-mouth kiss with Boogeyman and a mouth full of worms. Sharmell began gagging. Booker said he can’t take the smile off of his face. He said he told Long exactly what he was going to do, so he got himself a restraining order against Boogeyman. Sharmell held it in front of Long’s face. Booker said if Boogeyman comes within 100 feet of he or his wife anywhere, Long will get locked up. “There’s no such thing anymore as a Boogeyman,” said Booker. Booker and Sharmell are one reason to go out of your way to watch Smackdown each week. They are having fun.
-A recap aired of Rey Mysterio winning the Royal Rumble.
[Commercial Break]
2 — BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. GUNNER SCOTT (a/k/a Brent Albright, OVW headliner)
Tazz said he’s never seen Gunner Scott before, but he looks to be in good shape at 240 pounds. Early in the match, Albright, who looks a bit like Eugene’s normal younger brother, surprised Booker with a drop toe hold in the opening minute. Booker smiled and hit Gunner with a series of kneelifts, then settled into a chinlock. Two minutes into the match, as Booker was setting up his finishing sequence, Boogeyman’s intro began. Gunner rolled up a distracted Booker for a three count. The crowd was stunned. Long walked out and said they just felt Boogeyman’s presence even if he wasn’t within 100 feet of them.
WINNERS: Gunner Scott at 2:30.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-Cole plugged Undertaker vs. Henry.
-A clip aired of Rey’s bump in the road at No Way Out on his way to WrestleMania.
[Commercial Break]
-After a replay of Gunner upsetting Booker, they went backstage to Chris Benoit congratulating Gunner for the win. Gunner celebrated by shouting “Yeah! Yeah!”
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — CHRIS BENOIT vs. SIMON DEAN
Simon rode to the ring on a scooter. When Benoit crashed his entrance, Simon turned around and ran at him with the scooter. Benoit clotheslined him off the scooter, then thre him into the ring. Tazz and Cole talked about a great WrestleMania weekend and how great WWE fans were. When they talked about fans tauting Simon with “Simon Sucks” chants, Cole said, “Believe me, I know all about people telling me ‘you suck.'” Tazz said he’s on the high-carb version of the Simon System. Benoit hit a couple Germans and then right into the Crossface for a quick tapout win.
WINNER: Benoit in 4:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Pretty much a squash.
-After Benoit won, the new JBL “Morning in America” Ronald Reagan-type video aired with tons of patriotic imagery reminiscent of The Colbert Report’s opening montage. The video invited fans to celebrate the dawn of JBL’s U.S. Title reign. The video tried to get fans to chant “JBL, JBL.” Fans simply interjected sucks, infringing on Kurt Angle’s gimmick.
-They showed Randy Orton warming up backstage. Cole said Orton doesn’t want to be called The Legend Killer, he wants to be called The Dream Killer. For a guy about to be suspended for 60 days and his WWE future in trouble, it seems a strange time to reschristen his moniker.
-A commercial aired promoting the encore presentation of WrestleMania 22.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage Orton continued to warm up. An extremely intense Kurt Angle walked up to his face. When Orton mocked Angle’s title loss, Angle slapped him stiff across the chin and let out some barbaric yells. Orton then walked to the ring for his match, selling the slap.
[Commercial Break]
4 — REY MYSTERIO vs. RANDY ORTON — World Hvt. Title match
They didn’t really explain why Orton got such a quick title shot. It probably would not have taken place if they weren’t “jobbing him out” before implementing his suspension. Cole said Rey told him about his first match in AAA as a teenager and beating someone twice his size, and he said that’s been the story of his life repeated over and over again since. It is amazing to see Rey holding the same gold belt that Ric Flair, Triple H, Batista, and David Arquette have held so proudly over the years. It’s nice to see, and I’m genuinely curious how long he holds it and how effective they are at promoting him as the popular, unlikely, underdog champion. The crowd chanted “Eddie, Eddie” as the bell rang to start the match. The height difference is huge between them.
Rey took Rey to the mat with a headlock takeover early. Orton escaped and applied a head scissors. Orton stopped a Rey offensive flurry with an uppercut. Then he settled into a chinlock. Yawn. Mysterio fought out of it a minute later with some chops, but Orton slammed Rey to the mat to block a bulldog. Back to a chinlock. Rey came back with a head scissors takeover. Cole said that’s how quickly Rey can turn the tide. Rey set up Orton for a 619, but Orton moved. Rey then kicked Orton to the floor. He followed with a springboard “senton” (as Cole calls it). I guess if you call a move something long enough, even though a senton is something else entirely, eventually it will stick. Back in the ring, Rey scored a two count at 7:00. R
ey hit Orton with a barrage of punched in the corner while standing on the ropes to tower over Orton. Cole reiterated that Rey was getting revenge on Orton for referriing to him as a charity case. Orton surprised Rey with a neckbreaker to quickly turn the tide. He scored a near fall. Orton lectured the ref on the speed of his count. Orton then went into a chinlock. He leaned in to create the impression of added leverage and weight, which was a nice, realistic tough. Rey fought out of the chinlock after a minute. Orton should be suspended for two months for applying too many unimaginative chinlocks. As Rey was mid-air on his way into the ring, Orton turned him around with a nice dropkick to the face. Rey fell to the floor with a thud.
[Commercial Break]
Back from the break, Orton had Rey in yet another chinlock. Rey elbowed out of yet another chinlock at 15:00. Rey reversed Orton into the ropes, but Orton held onto the top rope. Tazz predicted Orton victory because he seemed to be one step ahead of Rey throughout the match, plus had the size advantage. Orton came off the second rope, but took a long time before leaping, giving Rey a chance to recover and lift his boot to catch him in the chin.
Rey crawled to the ropes and dragged himself to his feet, then roundhouse kicked Orton’s leg. He ducked an Orton clothesline attempt and bulldogged him for a near fall at 18:00. Cole pointed out how Mysterio can attack so quickly. Rey hit the springboard “senton” and then dropkicked Orton behind his head for a two count. Orton thumbed Rey in the eye to regain control. Rey surprised Orton with an inverted DDT for a near fall out of nowhere. Cole said he’s not sure if Rey can beat Orton, but he’s showing signs of life. The announcers are doing a good job showing the same skepticism of Rey’s abilities as many viewers might be.
Rey came off the top rope, but Orton caught him with a dropkick in mid-air. Tazz predicted Rey would have the shortest title change in history but Rey kidcked out before three. Orton set up an RKO. Rey surprised Orton with KO roundhouse kick. Rey kept selling the beating he had taken for several minutes, then finally got to his feet. Orton got up and kicked Rey in the gut. Orton then took Rey to the mat with a clotheline for a near fall. When Orton charged Rey in the corner, Rey moved and Orton went shoulder-first into the ringpost. Cole pointed out how Rey finds that small opening and seizes the chance. Rey then hit a 619 dead-on and followed with a Drop the Dime for the win.
WINNER: Rey in 22:00.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 — Very good match. Nice psychology. Cole and Tazz showed healthy skepticism of Rey without overdoing it. Rey showed a nice mix of creativity and jeopardy during the match. Orton was too (other than relying too much on chinlocks).
-Cole plugged that Henry demanded a rematch against Undertaker, who extended his win stream at WrestleManias to 14 on Sunday, and that was coming up later in the show.
[Commercial Break]
-Palmer Canyon, “Network Guy,” said the segment they were about to watch wasn’t approved by the Network. They showed The Miz being irreverent and obnoxious. He was throwing water baloons at people outside of WWE headquarters, then taking part in a WWE headquarters pilates class. Tazz said Miz seemed like a cool guy he’d like to hang out with. “He’s my type of guy,” said Tazz. Not sure what’s up with Miz, but he didn’t come across as a guy you’d want to hang out with.
-They replayed Rey’s title defense against Orton. Krystal interviewed Mysterio backstage. She said he proved the nay-sayers wrong. Rey said he wanted to thank the people who believed in him from day one. He spoke in Spanish briefly, then said he is proving that dreams come true. “I’m living proof that dreams come true in life,” he said. He brought his wife and son and daughter in and hugged and kissed them. Dominic has grown a lot and looks to weigh more than his dad at this point.
-Backstage, William Regal told Paul Burchill if he abandoned the costume, all would be forgiven and forgotten. Burchill said he is wearing the outfit to honor his family’s heritage. He said since then he is undefeated and having fun. Burchill told Regal he hasn’t won many matches lately. Burchill said if he beats him tonight, he will wear whatever he wants him to wear, but if he wins, Regal must wear whatever he wants him to wear. Kinky. Burchill said Regal would make a great “buxom wench.”
[Commercial Break]
5 — PAUL BURCHILL vs. WILLIAM REGAL – Loser Wears What The Winner Wants Match
Burchill took early advantage. They had an exchage of European uppercuts. Tazz said if he could make Cole dress up however he wanted, he would have him dress in a nice suit instead of a cheap one. In an understated way, that was pretty funny. Regal kept Burchill down with a chinlock, face rake, and kneedrop. Burchill hit Regal with his new flip suplex slam. Regal had a chance to make his infamous facial expressions, begging for mercy. Cole said, “This is going to be great!”
WINNER: Burchill in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-Cole said Undertaker vs. Henry “is next.”
[Commercial Break]
-Long announced to Bobby Lashley, Chris Benoit, Booker T, Matt Hardy, Fit Finlay, Kurt Angle, and Randy Orton that he was reinstituting the King of the Ring. He talked about past winners such as Steve Austin, Edge, Bret Hart, and Triple H. He announced that the first match in the tournament would be next week featuring Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton. Well, Orton’s in for some old school in-ring humbling before his suspension begins. If that slep earlier is any indication, Angle’s playing the role of an old style wrestling policeman next week for a locker room misfit.
-Mark Henry walked to the ring for his match against Taker. He grabbed the mic mid-ring and said he doesn’t think Taker or the fans understand that after WrestleMania, he’ll never be the same. He said he is a wide person who shouldn’t be confined to small spaces. He said he ran out of air and passed out and almost passed on. He said when they opened the casket, he saw light and thought it was heaven, then got a breath of fresh air in his lungs, then had an epiphany, a vision, and saw Undertaker’s future. “And on this night, it is you, Dead Man, that’ll never, ever be the same.” You know, not a bad promo. If was slow and deliberate and sincere sounding.
[Commercial Break]
-They plugged Orton vs. Angle as next week’s main event.
6 — UNDERTAKER vs. MARK HENRY
Henry charged Taker from behind, but Taker stepped aside. Henry quickly took control of the match, though. Cole talked about Henry’s deceptive quickness. Cole said a headbutt from Henry is like getting hit in the head with a typewriter. Taker walked the top rope at 1:30 and came off with a forearm to Henry’s shoulder. Henry came back with some offense, but Taker soon made a comeback with a flying clothesline. At ringside, he rammed Henry into steps at ringside. Taker gave Henry a guillotine legdrop off the ring apron. Daivari marched to the ring with the new giant (Giant Singh). Taker gazed into the ring with a sense of wonderment and fear. “Taker looks flabbergasted,” said Cole. Taker went nose to chest with him. He threw a forearm. The mystery giant no-sold it, then took Taker to the mat with one clubbing blow. Taker sat up. The new giant ripped apart the turnbuckle with one hand, then rammed Taker into the exposed buckle. Cole said he has never seen anyone manhandle Taker like this man just did. He gave him a big boot to the head, then stood over him and trash-talked. Henry was nowhere to be seen. The show ended without a finish to the match.
WINNER: No contest.
STAR RATING: * – They did a good job with the debut of Singh. It’s a nice cliffhanger for next week to find out more about him, and an effective transition for Taker away from Henry.
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