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AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
APRIL 5, 2023
UNIONDALE, N.Y. AT UBS ARENA
AIRED LIVE ON TBS
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Tony Schiavone
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
[HOUR ONE]
-Excalibur introduced the show as the camera panned the crowd.
-Ricky Starks’ music kicked in and he made his ring entrance for his scheduled match against Juice Robinson. Starks was startled by the next sounds out of the p.a. system and he looked to the stage. Jay White walked out, which opened up Starks to be attacked by Juice from behind. Starks fought back, but Juice nailed him with a leg lariat and White slammed him with his Blade Runner. Schiavone noted the crowd pop for White and then framed this as major news in pro wrestling. Excalibur said White was the hottest free agent in pro wrestling and he just left Starks lying in the ring. Juice and White hugged and gloated about their attack on the ramp. Starks was helped to his feet by the referees.
(Keller’s Analysis: Hot opening to the show. The crowd pop did make White feel like a big deal for those who didn’t know much about him. He’ll be a great addition to AEW’s roster. Starks was checking his nose or mouth and seemed especially groggy or shaken beyond normal selling, but maybe he was just good at selling.)
-They went to Excalibur, Schaivone, and Taz at the announce desk. Excalibur said this was explosive news on one of AEW’s biggest nights ever with a big Tony Khan announcement later plus the AEW Tag Titles vs. AEW Careers match between The Gunns and FTR.
-A video package recapped the return of Adam Cole to the ring last week on Dynamite.
-Schivaone interviewed Chris Jericho backstage. He asked why he came out after Cole beat Danny Garcia last week. Jericho said he’s got nothing against Cole and he’s happy he’s back after a major injury. He said when Britt Baker celebrated with him and streamers dropped, it just went on and on and on. He said during that time Garcia was made to look like a piece of trash as he was lying there in the ring after his loss. Keith Lee interrupted and said he overheard Jericho rambling. He said Jericho has been the poster boy for disrespect. He said he won’t harp on the things Jericho has done. He said he’s gone to war with Adam Cole and while he might not be fond of him, he respects him. He walked up to Jericho and said maybe next week in Milwaukee, he could teach him a thing or two about respect. Jericho froze as Lee walked away and looked intimidated. Jericho then turned and left. Excalibur said he hasn’t seen Jericho back down like that “maybe ever.”
-The House of Black made their ring entrance. Excalibur said the House of Black attacked Trent Beretta and Chuck Taylor on Rampage seemingly as a way to draw out Orange Cassidy. [c]
(2) HOUSE OF BLACK (Malakai Black & Brody King & Buddy Matthews w/Julia Hart) vs. ORANGE CASSIDY & TRENT BERETTA & CHUCK TAYLOR
Cassidy, Taylor, and Beretta were driven to the entrance area backstage by Beretta’s mom Sue in a white mini-van. Then they made their way to the ring to Cassidy’s theme song. The bell rang to start the match 14 minutes into the hour. After a few minutes of back and forth action in the ring, they fought to ringside. Black and Matthews slammed Cassidy against the ring apron. Then Black and Matthews launched Beretta into King who elbowed him out of mid-air. They cut to a split-screen break at 5:00. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Cassidy ducked a charging King, who flew through the ropes and knocked Black and Matthews down. Beretta and Taylor launched Cassidy over the top rope onto the House of Black. Beretta and Taylor hugged as the camera zoomed in and out. Matthews countered an Orange Punch attempt with a running high knee. Taylor kicked Matthews. King gave Taylor a Bossman slam. Beretta gave him a knee strike. Black gave Beretta a brainbuster suplex. Cassidy recovered and squared off with Black, ducking a spin wheel kick. Fans applauded. Cassidy did some slo-mo kicks. Black kicked Cassidy in the head. Cassidy came back with a Stun Gun Millionaire. Both tagged out to Beretta and Black. They cut to Anna Jay watching backstage and shaking her head. Schiavone said she had some words for Hart on Rampage.
Black and Beretta battled mid-ring. Beretta landed a piledriver on Black, and then Matthews. He set up King for one, too, but King blocked it. Beretta eventually did hit a piledriver for a near fall broken up by Black. (Another very weak save where the ref just needlessly voluntarily stopped counting just because Black grazed Beretta with a forearm to his shoulder.) Taylor battled Matthews with a series of rapid-fire exchanges. Matthews landed a Stomp for the clean three count.
WINNERS: House of Black in 12:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: A lot of crowd-pleasing action start to finish. Good to put the Trios Champs in a match where they can show their ring style and get a solid win over a mid-card tag team like the Best Friends.)
-Excalibur threw to Christian and asked, “Is it time for Christian Cage to break his silence?”
-Christian was shown backstage in front of a room flooded with fog and red lights. Luchasaurus walked out of the room and stood next to Christian.
-They went to the announcers who reacted to the return of Christian and Luchasaurus.
(Keller’s Analysis: Christian has been a consistently good heel, so it’ll be good to have him back on a regular presence on Dynamite. The varied presentation of various segments is getting more creative and polished in AEW these days.)
(3) RIHO vs. JAMIE HAYTER
Riho made her ring entrance first. Riho leaped off the top turnbuckle onto Hayter at ringside. Back in the ring, Hayter knocked Riho off balance on the top rope and took control. She landed a gut-buster for a two count. They cut to a split screen break after Hayter slammed Riho on the ring apron. [c/ss]
Riho made a comeback with a leaping DDT at 9:00. Excalibur plugged Rampage and Battle of the Belts VI this Friday on TNT. Hayter made a comeback after getting the better of Riho with a barrage of forearms. She scored a near fall after a forearm to the face with a high-stack pin attempt. More back and forth action led to Hayter getting the three count after a rip cord lariat. Hayter checked on Riho afterward when Riho was still down. They nodded in mutual respect.
WINNER: Hayter in 12:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Really good match. They had good chemistry out there and, for a face vs. face match, the crowd was really invested in the action.)
-Renee interviewed Ruby Soho, Saraya, and Toni Storm backstage. Soho told Hayter not to celebrate too long because they are aiming for her title to take control. Renee noted that there’s only one title for the three of them. Saraya said that’s not an issue they need to work out now. Storm said what’s important is that Hayter is not champion.
-Matt Menard, Angelo Parker, and Jake Hager stood on the ramp. Menard said what makes his nipples get hard is The Acclaimed joining the Jericho Appreciation Society. The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn made their entrance as Max Caster rapped. He incorporated Rep. George Santos and the Cocaine Bear into his rap. Parker yelled to cut the music and asked them to clarify where they stand. He said it sounds like they want to fight… together! He said it sounds great if they wrestle a tag match together. He renamed their team the Jericho Appreciation Acclaimed Society. Billy said, “Oh hell no.” He said scissoring should only be done by professionals. Anthony Bowens and Billy Gunn scissored. Caster hip gyrated toward J.A.S. before heading to the ring.
(Keller’s Analysis: I’m not sure what the answer was but everyone there was having fun and full of energy.) [c]
-A clip aired of Jay White’s surprise appearance earlier.
-A clip aired of MJF being honored in Oyster Bay, N.Y. at City Hall. He gave a speech and posed for photos. He was on his best behavior.
-A band played big band swing music on the stage with trumpets and drums. Justin Roberts then introduced MJF, who strutted out and looked like he was a celebrity appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show in the 1960s. He got a nice reception from the fans. He said Long Island, N.Y. is the most magical place in the world where it doesn’t just rain water; he said it also rains pennies from heaven. He sang along with the band music along the lines of maybe Dean Martin. The fans were smiling and not sure what to make of it all. He sang his way to the ring. When the song ended, fans cheered.
Taz said Max did a great job. Joseph Saladino, the supervisor of the town of Oyster Bay stood at a podium, began to talk. Fans booed. MJF jumped in and said he’s a great guy, so don’t ruin this night for him with boos. Saladino said MJF is the pride of Long Island. He said he’s a world champion and their hometown champ. He said it was his honor to present him with the Key to Long Island. Fans chanted “Over-rated!” briefly maybe mixed with “You deserve it!” Saladino said they made him a better key than the one they first presented to him earlier in the week at City Hall.
MJF stood at the podium next and got a nice cheer. He said if he’s being completely serious, some would even say “You deserve it, clap clap clap.” The fans jumped in with the chant. He said some people don’t deserve it like Sammy Guevara, Darby Allin, “and worst of all, Jungle Boy.” He said the only thing Jungle Boy will ever have is a girlfriend with a wondering eye and a tiny little penis. (Who is he saying has the tiny penis?) “It’s true, it’s true,” he said. He said he had an inspiring story about his childhood in Long Island, N.Y. (Isn’t it “…on Long Island”? He should know better, right?). He said he has a learning disorder, A.D.D. He asked who else has it. Fans chanted “A.D.D.!”
He said he had trouble focusing in school. He said he had a teacher in eighth grade who wasn’t sympathetic named Mrs. Benedict. He said she would pounce on him like a lion and wait for him to lose concentration. He said she would ask him for an answer to the question on the board, and he wouldn’t know, and she would laugh at him. She said, “See class, don’t be like Mr. Friedman.” He said on the last day of school, she pulled him over to the side and asked him where his brain goes during class when he couldn’t pay attention. He said his answer every time was pro wrestling. He said he dreamed every day of becoming world champion. She told him the probability of that happening was slim to none.
[HOUR TWO]
He said her math was off because he just got the key to Long Island. He told everyone, “Don’t be like Mrs. Benedict, and by that I mean, don’t be a stupid bitch.” Fans cheered. Excalibur said he was keeping it classy. He said if you’re a Long Island kid who is struggling, if you bust your ass, you can be anything you want to be. “Except for one thing,” he said. “Me!” He closed by saying he is “better than you and you know it.”
He left the ring with the belt over his shoulder as fans chanted “MJF.” He asked if the audience wanted an encore. They cheered. Someone crashed cymbals behind him. It turned out to be Jungle Boy in a face mask. He attacked MJF. Fans booed him. They rolled around on the stage. Fans cheered every time MJF got the advantage. Security came out and pulled them apart. Sammy Guevara’s entrance theme began playing. He walked out, chomping on gum. He looked down at MJF’s title belt lying on the stage. MJF yelled at him as he was held back by security. Guevara held the belt in the air and taunted Jungle Boy first and then MJF. He gave the belt back to MJF and then headed to the ring for his match.
(Keller’s Analysis: MJF was thoroughly entertaining with the singing, as odd as the whole scene was. Long Island is this outlier and you never know what MJF is going to do when visiting.)
(4) SAMMY GUEVARA vs. KOMANDER
Schiavone said Guevara gets “a lot of heat” because of his attitude and “how he kisses his wife,” but he said he’s a hell of an athlete. As Komander came out, they touted his performance in the Face of the Revolution ladder match and his ROH’s Supercard of Honor match against Vikingo. Schiavone said that was one of the best matches he’s seen in a long, long time. Guevara landed an early springboard moonsault onto Komander at ringside. Fans chanted “You still suck!” as Guevara celebrated. Komander caught Guevara with a kick as he leaped off the top rope. Komander walked the top rope and landed a shooting star press. Schiavone said it was almost like he paused in mid-air. He ran the top rope and leaped at Guevara at ringside, but Guevara kicked him out of mid-air. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, more athletic exchanges. Guevara eventually landed a leaping cutter off the top rope as Komander was walking the top rope. He then hit a GTH for the win.
WINNER: Guevara in 10:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: A dazzling and crisp performance from both wrestlers. It’s smart, if Guevara is going to be in the World Title program with MJF and others, to showcase his ring acumen and his cockiness.)
-Schiavone interviewed Guevara mid-ring. He said that match showed he should be considered for a world title match. Guevara took the mic and said he just did something the AEW World Champion doesn’t do – wrestle. Fans booed. He said, “Honestly, what was that shit I just watched? American Idol?” He said MJF said he beat each of the pillars, but he said if they go back to their match in 2021 in the main event of Dynamite, he had him beat until another person he used interfered. He said Shawn Spears and a chair beat him, not MJF. He said if they’re supposed to be the Four Pillars who built the company from day one, MJF’s side was built not by himself, but by taking advantage of other people and cheating. He said he would hate himself if he wasn’t himself getting to the top. He said MJF was Cody’s friend, and now he’s not. He said same for being friends with Tony Khan, Inner Circle, Pinnacle, and The Firm.
He said MJF did one thing he won’t do – he sold his soul for success. Guevara said he built the ship brick by brick, moment after moment. “I put my heart and soul into this place,” he said. He told the fans to cheer or boo him because he’s not going anywhere else. He said he loves it and it has given him more than he could’ve dreamed of including his wife. He said screw Jungle Boy, Darby Allin, and MJF and his “bidding war of 2024.” He said he’ll be the next World Champion. They showed MJF scowling backstage.
(Keller’s Analysis: Guevera got heel heat for going after MJF in Long Island, but it mostly came across as a babyface promo with a relatively vanilla delivery and some bite because of the content. I’m just not crazy about heels talking about how loyal they are to the promotion and seeming gracious and thankful for what he has.) [c]
(5) HOOK vs. “ALL EGO” ETHAN PAGE (w/Matt Hardy, Isaiah Kassidy)
Ethan was in the ring already after the break. Hook’s full ring entrance aired. Hook hit an early T-Bone. Ethan took over at ringside, throwing Hook into the ringside steps and then the ringpost. Ethan celebrated and played to the crowd. He threw Hook back into the ring and said, “I’m winning, asshole!” Ethan set up a Twist of Fate, but Hook blocked it and hit a Twist of Fate of his own. Kassidy distracted the ref and Hook. Ethan tried to take the FTW Title belt from Hardy, but Hardy held on. Hardy then bashed Ethan with the belt. Hook turned around and applied Red Rum for the win.
WINNER: Hook in 2:00.
-Kassidy and Hardy celebrated together afterward. Hook walked up the ramp and fist-bumped Hardy and Kassidy. Taz said, “I didn’t get the memo. What the hell is going on here?”
-They went to the announcers at the desk to react. Excalibur and Schiavone looked to Taz for answers, but he didn’t have any.
-New AEW broadcaster Nigel McGuinness interviewed Tony Khan backstage. Khan said four years ago, four pioneers named the Young Bucks, Kenny Omega, and Cody Rhodes put on a the biggest independent show ever, All In. He said Aug. 27 in London, England will be the second All In. Adam Cole walked in and said they’ll be at Wembley Stadium for the event celebrating 100 years of the stadium.
(Keller’s Analysis: That’s going to be a great test of AEW’s popularity. I like AEW aiming big for this. It should be an awesome visual if they get a big crowd. What does this mean for All Out and is the All In going to be available on PPV? The press release doesn’t say it’ll be available outside of being in the stadium.)
-Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta made their way through the crowd to “Wild Thing.” [c]
(6) JON MOXLEY & CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI & WHEELER YUTA vs. THREE JOBBERS
Moxley, Yuta, and Claudio attacked their opponents and dominated. Yuta finished off one of the guys with a barrage of elbows and a crossface for a tapout.
WINNERS: Moxley & Claudio & Yuta in 2:00.
-Afterward, Bryan Danielson said he loves professional wrestling and the wrestlers they just beat up don’t look like professionals. He said they look like someone the EVPs might’ve hired, just amateurs. He said when he looks around the building, the four of them are the only professional wrestlers in the building. He was interrupted by “Hangman” Adam Page.
Hangman marched to the ring. He was immediately overwhelmed by the four Blackpool Combat Club members. Danielson said Hangman was an amateur as Claudio beat him down. Mox then punched away at him. Yuta then had his turn. Danielson said he loves his BCC partners, whereas nobody is coming out to help Hangman. He said nobody loves him, but he knows what love it. He said when he’s at home, he’s been teaching his kids a few things about how to fix up your house. He said the house that is AEW needs to be fixed up from all these amateurs. He had a screw driver in hand. Mox and Yuta lifted Hangman as Danielson said “Amateurs! Amateurs!” over and over. Danielson then drove the screwdriver into Danielson’s face. Excalibur said it was grotesque. Schiavone said it was beyond anything they’ve ever seen.
(Keller’s Analysis: I just don’t buy Danielson as a heel. He seems like he’s just playing a heel because it’s more fun for him. He’s not bad at it, but everybody just knows better. And then fans really have an affinity for the other BCC members, so this just feels like a real headwind and an unnecessary heel turn for them.) [c]
(7) COLTEN & AUSTIN GUNN vs. FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood) – AEW Tag Team Title match
The bell rang 46 minutes into the hour. Fans chanted “Ass boys!” at the Gunns. Cash opened against Colten. They fought back and forth and cut to a break at 4:00. [c/ss]
Dax blind-tagged in and then they gave Austin a spike piledriver for a near fall. Colten broke up FTR’s Big Rig attempt, but they came right back with Shatter Machine. Colten yanked the ref out of the ring to stop his count. Taz said it was a smart way to save the tag titles. The ref refused to DQ them. Schiavone said it was a good call. Colten threw Cash into the ringpost. Austin landed a legdrop on Dax and scored a near fall at 10:00. Austin set up a Pedigree, but Dax escaped and scored a near fall with a backslide. Dax scored two more leverage near falls. Austin gave Dax a low-blow. He looked to the ref asking for the DQ so they could save their titles. Cash pleaded with the ref not to DQ the Gunns. Colten slid a tag belt to Austin, but the ref grabbed it. Colten slid the other belt to him. Dax leaped off the top rope, but Austin hit him with the belt. Colten made the cover, but Dax kicked out at the last second. Fans popped. Austin sat up and looked ready to cry.
The Gunns stood over Dax and set up a double-team move. Dax spit at them and then sunset flipped Colten, but Austin held him up. Cash broke it up and Dax rolled up Colten for the three count.
WINNERS: FTR to capture the AEW Tag Team Titles in 14:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Not the smoothest match, but it wasn’t bad either. The crowd was into FTR, although it didn’t seem crazy loud for them.)
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