SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
JANUARY 11, 2023
LOS ANGELES, CALIF, AT KIA FORUM
AIRED LIVE ON TBS
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Tony Schiavone
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
[HOUR ONE]
-The new Dynamite opening montage aired. Then Excalibur introduced the show as pyro blasted on the stage.
(Keller’s Analysis: It turns out the new ring apron and barricade banners were late since the ring area now matches the new entrance stage and graphics. I feel better about the AEW makeover now. I still just can’t get over how little they get out of the big cities they visit. They absolutely should have shown the scene outside of the Forum as fans arrived and more scenes of L.A. This show, other than the brief mention at the start, could be in some medium Eastern town they’ve been to several times before. Maybe they’ll do more later.)
(1) JON MOXLEY vs. “HANGMAN” ADAM PAGE
Moxley made his entrance first. Taz noted this will be a classic battle in the City of Angels. The announcers touted the packed house at Kia Forum. Hangman came out second and got a good pop. He paused at ringside and looked intensely at Mox. Excalibur said it’s been 83 days since he last competed in a wrestling ring. The bell rang three minutes into the hour. As Hangman pummeled Mox in the corner, fans loudly chanted “Cowboy Shit!” Mox fired back with some chops. Hangman smiled and returned fire. Mox got the better of Hangman and then yanked him hard to the mat by his hair. He indicated to the ref he didn’t do anything wrong. Fans chanted “Moxley! Moxley!” as Mox taunted Hangman in the corner.
Excalibur said Mox has been accusing Hangman of having a glass jaw, but anyone can get knocked out with one precisely placed punch. As Mox bit Hangman’s back, Taz said this is a contest and you are in a war and “you want to maim your opponent.” Mox settled into a cross armbreaker. Mox delivered a nasty German suplex. A graphic hyped MJF would speak later. It plugged other scheduled matches. Mox methodically hit another German suplex and set up a third, but Hangman elbowed out of it. Hangman landed an overhead suplex and then rolled to the ring apron. When he set up a Buckshot, Mox knocked him off the ring apron. Schiavone noted the ringside barricade has changed quite a bit and protects the fans a little more, but aren’t any better for wrestlers. Excalibur said they don’t give as much as they used to.
Hangman surprised Mox at ringside with a lariat and then threw him back into the ring. He pounded his chest back in the ring and charged at Mox, but Mox hit him with a King Kong Lariat. Hangman kicked out at two. Mox scored another quick two count. They cut to a split-screen break at 5:00 with Mox pounding away at Hangman on the canvas. [c/ss]
During the break, Mox stayed in control and strutted around before kicking Hangman in the head. He landed a neckbreaker and then paced as the ref checked on Hangman. He settled into a crossface. Back from the break, Hangman broke free and landed a back suplex. Mox popped up fired up, but Hangman hit him with another lariat. Both were down and slow to get up. The crowd was hot for the match. They went nose to nose at 9:00 and yelled at each other. Hangman gave Mox a fallaway slam, then kipped up. He followed with a spinning lariat. Mox retreated to the ring apron. Hangman knocked him to the floor with a running boot. Fans chanted “This is awesome!” Hangman landed a top rope moonsault onto Mox at ringside.
Mox gave Hangman a Death Rider back in the ring for a near fall. Mox dropped elbows down on Hangman and then locked on a side headlock. Fans chanted “This is awesome!” again. Mox piledrove Hangman for a near fall. Fans chanted “Cowboy Shit!” Mox gave the fans two middle fingers. They stood and exchanged wild swings mid-ring. The crowd got even more riled up. Hangman landed a running lariat and then a Buckshot Lariat for a three count. As Hangman celebrated, the music stopped and doctors were shown checking on Mox as he came to. He asked, “What happened?” He tried to regain his senses.
WINNER: Hangman Page in 14:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: It’s sort of a joke now to call matches “bangers” now, I think, but that was a banger. Moxley is good when he strips away the apparatus and blood and gore and just straight-up fights like this.) [c]
-They went to Taz and Excalibur at the announce desk. They said Mox was helped to the back and implied he might have suffered a concussion. This seems like it could set up a vacation break for Mox.
-Tony Schiavone stood mid-ring and said it gives him “no pleasure” to introduce his guest. He then threw to the entrance stage where Adam Cole came out to his music. This was not announced ahead of time. Fans popped as he walked out, arms extended absorbing the crowd reaction. Excalibur said they haven’t seen him in months. Fans yelled, “Adam Cole bay-bay!” He said, “Who’s ready for storytime with Adam Cole, bay-bay.” He said they had no idea how badly he wanted to say that today. He said he’s been thinking all day about what to say and how to say it. He said it’s a good news/bad news situation. He said the good news is that after all he’s been through, he has a new appreciation for life. He said as a kid, all he wanted to do was become a pro wrestler. He said it’s great he got to do that, including in AEW in Los Angeles. Fans chanted “AEW!”
He said the last few months made him realize how much he missed doing this. He said he was banged up with a shoulder that was torn to shreds and two bad back-t0-back head injuries. He said he was really scared seeing doctors multiple times per week, with headaches and dizzy spells multiple times per day. He said if he was in a car more than 15 minutes he would vomit. He said the worst part was the sleep. He said he would lay there with high anxiety. He said he’d get up at 3 in the morning with his heart racing. He said “Brit” (Baker) would ask him if he was okay and he said he told her he didn’t know what was happening to him. He said none of the fans knew what was happening to him, but so many were there for him. He said every single day he’d read people saying they miss him and hoped he was recovering okay.
He said he didn’t care if he ever wrestled again, he just wanted to be okay. He choked up a bit saying that. He said it meant the world to him to hear fans hadn’t forgotten about him. He said at the end of the day, pro wrestling is a give and take situation. He said he gives them the fight of their lives and in exchange they give their appreciation. He said he gave them nothing for months but they still gave him their appreciation. Fans chanted “Adam Cole!”
He said: “Now for the bad news. Here’s the thing, the bad news isn’t for me. The bad news is for the AEW locker room because Adam Cole is back. I’m not going anywhere.” He said he was sure he was finished, but now he stands before them saying he isn’t done yet. He said he has been one of the best pro wrestlers on the planet for 15 years and he won’t stop until he’s the best. He said he hasn’t even scratched the surface of what he’s capable of. He said he wants everyone in the building and at home to remember this day. He said this is a day where the new Adam Cole was born. He said it’s an Adam Cole promising that he will be at the top of the mountain one day. He threw down the mic and raised his arms. Fans chanted, “Adam Cole, bay-bay!”
(Keller’s Analysis: Well, that was tremendous. I guess I’d like to have heard more specifics on how he’s actually better and his continuing wrestling doesn’t mean he’s more at risk. I suppose that’s implied because he said he’s back, but still, that sounded scary. He showed what a top level connection he has with fans that’s not common.)
-The Acclaimed with Billy Gunn cut a backstage promo. Max Caster said they’re getting one of the best honors one can get and they’ll share the honor with some of the top celebrities like Rosanne Barr, Alec Baldwin, and Donald Trump. Trump was booed. Anthony Bowens announced that they’ll be getting their names on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [c]
(2) HOOK & “JUNGLE BOY” JACK PERRY vs. BIG BILL & LEE MORIARTY (w/Stokely Hathaway)
Hook came out first. When Perry came out and got a bigger pop, Taz was quick to point out he’s “a hometown boy.” Perry started against Moriarty. Hook tagged in and tied up Moriarty on the mat. Perry tagged back in, but Hathaway tripped Perry running the ropes a couple minutes in. Perry dove at Hathaway, but Bill caught him. Hook made the save. Moriarty and Bill took over against Perry and gave an “up yours ” gesture to the fans. He knocked Perry to the floor where Moriarty then landed a knee to the back of his neck. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
During the split-screen break, actor Ken Jeong was shown at ringside as Bill beat up Perry near him. Jeong stood and yelled at Bill. The ref urged Jeong to sit back down as Bill laughed. Moriarty tagged in and continued to beat up Perry in the ring. Back to full screen, Perry tagged in Hook who got a nice pop. Hook bridge suplexed Moriarty. When Bill tagged in, they played up the height difference and a staredown. Hook went for a T-Bone suplex, but Bill blocked it. Perry dropkicked Bill and then Hook succeeded at him an overhead suplex. Bill rolled to the floor and mouthed “What the f—!” as the crowd went bonkers. Bill got wide-eyed. Perry fended off a Moriarty attack and tapped him out quickly with a Snare Trap.
WINNERS: Hook & Perry in 8:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Fun match.)
-Renee Pacquette interviewed Orange Cassidy & Danhaussen. Paul Walter Hauser walked in and had a Golden Globe briefcase. Renee wanted to see what was in it. Hauser said he’d save it for Rampage. Danhaussen asked “Walterhausen” what was in the box. Hauser corrected Danhaussen on his name. Hauser asked if things were good with the Best Friends. In walked Trent Beretta and Chuck Taylor. They said they’re still friends. They all did a group huddle with their hands extended. [c]
-They went to Renee standing outside a locker room door marked The Elite. She said she hasn’t much luck talking with them. She said the last Best of Seven series in that arena was the Lakers and Piston back in 1988.
-After Konosuke Takeshita made his ring entrance, MJF interrupted. He told Takeshita that people seem to think he’s a big deal. He said he hasn’t seen his stuff, but don’t take it personally. He said when he watches Dynamite back, he just fast-forwards to his own segments, the only segments that matter. He asked if his name is “Take-a-shit-a.” He asked if he got it right. He told him not to take one in his pants tonight because he needs him to win. Takeshita fired back some words in Japanese. Fans popped. MJF said he thought Danielson was a bad speaker. He told Takeshita, “Around here, we talk American.” Takeshita then said, “I said kiss my ass.” MJF shoved him. A ref stepped in.
MJF told the ref to keep Takeshita away because he had more to say. Fans chanted “Maxi Pad!” He said they’re all a bunch of nerds. He said he’s been hearing a rumor that he’s afraid of an Iron Man match with Bryan Danielson because he can’t last an hour. He said they should ask their mamma and their sister and their skank girlfriends just how long he can last. He thrust his hips and smiled. He said he’s the real iron man because he’s all about pinning shoulders on mats and banging rats. He asked if the fans actually really like Danielson. He said it makes sense because, like Danielson, they’re all irrelevant.
MJF pointed out that Ken Jeong was present. They showed him at ringside. He said his fame peaked 20 years ago in “The Hangover.” He said his “Dr. Ken” show on ABC got cancelled. Jeong crossed his arms angrily. MJF said Freddie Prinze Jr. was also in the house. They showed him. MJF couldn’t believe there was a “Freddie” chant. He said he was born in 1996, so he doesn’t remember when Prinze was a meaningful actor. He said all he remembers is when Freddie was a sidekick to a talking dog. “You ain’t noting but a Scooby Dooby Douchebag,” he said.
He said there won’t be an Iron Man match because his name is MJF. As he began saying he’s better than the fans and they know it, Danielson’s mussic interrupted. MJF jumped out of the ring and sprinted to the back.
(3) BRYAN DANIELSON vs. KONOSUKE TAKESHITA
Excalibur questioned MJF’s logic delaying the beginning of the match because Takeshita was warmed up and now he’s cool. The bell rang 56 minutes into the hour. Danielson and Takeshita exchanged a chain of holds and counterholds mid-ring in the opening minutes. Excalibur said Takeshita is still looking for that landmark win on Dynamite. Takeshita landed a flying clothesline running the ropes to take control.
[HOUR TWO]
Danielson looked for a LeBell Lock, but Takeshita reached the bottom rope. Danielson landed two running dropkicks in the corner seconds later. Takeshita caught Danielson a third attempt and landed a Blue Thunder Bomb for a two count. They cut to a split-screen break at 7:00 as they were chopping each other. [c/ss]
During the break, Danielson hung Kakeshita upside down the corner and kicked him. Takeshita knocked Danielson off the top rope with a wild forearm swing. They cut away to MJF watching on a monitor backstage cheering on Takeshita. Some fans were cheering for Takeshita. (It’s an odd position to put fans in to cheer against a Danielson win when he needs the win to get the PPV title match against MJF.)
Danielson countered a powerbomb attempt in the ring and head scissored him over the top rope to the ringside. Danielson dove onto Takeshita and went for a head scissors. They landed awkwardly. Danielson grabbed his knee afterward. Takeshita caught a Danielson roundkick and then gave him a brainbuster suplex on the floor. Takeshita springboard flipped toward Danielson back in the ring, Danielson lifted his knees. Danielson then applied a crossface. Takeshita’s leg reached the bottom rope to force a break. Fans chanted “This is awesome!”
They exchanged forearms and elbows mid-ring as the crowd roared along with each strike. Both went down and were slow to get up. Fans chaned “AEW! AEW!” Takeshita got the crowd to gasp as he leaped and jammed Danielson neck-first onto the mat. He followed with a German suplex for a near fall at 14:00. Fans chanted “This is awesome!” Danielson landed a running Psycho Knee for a two count next. The crowd popped for the kickout. Danielson showed fire as Schiavone asked if MJF could beat “this guy” in an Iron Man match. Danielson then applied a LeBell Lock and the ref called for the bell. Danielson raised Takeshita’s arms in a show of appreciation and respect afterward. They showed MJF shaking his head in disappointment backstage.
WINNER: Danielson in 17:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was great. Hangman-Moxley and this are giving Match Seven tough acts to follow. The crowd ate that up start to finish.)
-Renee interviewed Juice Robinson backstage. He said he’s there for a few reasons – to kick ass, take names, and win championships along the way. He said if Darby Allin is making open challenges, he wants to face him Friday on Rampage for his TNT Championship.
(4) JAMIE HAYTER & BRITT BAKER vs. TONI STORM & SARAYA
Storm made her entrance first. She was joined by Saraya. Baker came out with her reworked AEW logo that says DMD in big letters and ‘The Role Model” above it. Hayter joined Baker on the stage and got a big crowd pop. Rebel followed them to the ring. Storm stood ready to start the match as Baker and Hayter discussed who’d start for them. Hayter started. Storm got in the initial offense. Saraya tagged in and then flipped off the ring apron onto Hayter a minute in. All four ended up brawling at ringside at 3:00 when Hikaru Shita walked out with a cane in hand. They cut to a partial split-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Saraya was in control against Baker. She landed her Nightcap for a two count, then yelled, “This is my house!” Baker upkicked her and then went for an Air Raid Crash. Saraya escaped and kicked Baker and scored a two count. Storm tagged in and landed a hip attack and a DDT for a two count. Hayter landed a running kick to Storm’s face.
Baker landed an Air Raid Crash off the second rope on Storm for a two count. Hayter tagged in and landed the Hate Breaker, but Saraya broke up the cover. Storm landed Storm Zero in Hayter a minute later, but Baker broke up the cover. The ref tried to restore order as all four battled in the ring for a while. Storm and Hayter exchanged mid-ring strikes until they both collapsed at 10:00. Rebel distracted the ref as Shida slid a kendo stick into the ring. Baker picked it up and hit Storm with it. The ref didn’t see it. Hayter then landed her finishing clothesline for the win.
WINNERS: Hayter & Baker in 11:00.
-Excalibur plugged Rampage: Anna Jay & Tay Melo vs. Ruby Soho & Willow Nightingale, The Acclaimed will speak, Eddie Kingston & Ortiz vs. Kings of the Black Throne (Brodie King & Malakai Black). A promo aired with Kingston asking Oritz if he’s happy they got the tag match on Friday. He said he’s tired of their opponents, but he’s also tired of Ortiz questioning him. Plus, Paul Walter Hauser will talk more and Darby vs. Juice. On Dynamite next week, Jake Hager vs. Ricky Starks and Danielson vs. Bandido.
-The Jericho Appreciation Society made their entrance as fans sang “Judas.” They were all wearing golden glittery jackets and black pants. Schiavone said they look like Chippendale Dancers. Angelo Parker said said they are the Six of Los Angeles. Matt Menard asked if they want to know what makes his nipples hard. “How about the fact that last week, Jake Hager powerbombed Ricky Starks through a table?” Jericho said this is one of the biggest nights in their history. He said they invaded PWG in L.A. in a surprise heard around the wrestling world. He said Hager is going to beat up Starks. He said they sent Acton Andretti to the minor leagues. He said the Ricky Starks experiment is over. He was interrupted by Starks.
Starks walked out with Andretti. Starks said he’s looking at idiots who thought they finished him off last week, but here he is. Jericho told Andretti to go back to the minor leagues. Andretti told him to shut up before he shoves that baseball bat up his ass. Daniel Garcia told him not to disrespect Jericho like that. Andretti asked if his new babysitter Sammy Guevara gave him permission to speak. Andretti said Guevara can’t keep control of his wife so how can he control Garcia. He said last week, her hands were between his legs. Garcia said he was a young and naive pro wrestler like him at one time, but now he’s a sports entertainer who is on top of the world.
Starks asked Jericho to move aside so he can talk to “Gilligan with the stupid hat.” He addressed Hager and called him the village idiot. He said that’s a shame. He said he still has that dumb lisp despite being with Jericho. He said he wants to face Hager on Dynamite next week. Excalibur said Starks went to Tony Khan earlier and already signed that match. Hager said he wears a lot of hats and one of them says he’s an undefeated professional MMA fighter. He said he can see his balls through his white pants, but he’s twice his size and he’s going to slap “his face off of his face.” Taz asked, “Is that even possible?” He said he’ll help him with his speech impediment. He said he’ll be facing someone next week who is Absolute.
(Keller’s Analysis: I don’t think Andretti came across at all likable in this segment. Starks making fun of speech impediments also felt off considering he’s a babyface and having a speech impediment is hardly a character flaw and there are kids out there who are feeling pretty bad about Starks acting like it is.) [c]
(5) THE ELITE (Young Bucks & Kenny Omega) vs. DEATH TRIANGLE (Pac & Penta & Rey Fenix w/Alex Abrahantes) – Seventh Match in Best of Seven Series
Justin Roberts stood mid-ring and did formal ring introductions. The Bucks and Omega posed on the stage as their entrance music played. They were joined by Brandon Cutler, Don Callis, and Michael Nakzawa. They showed the Bucks’ parents at ringside, but the announcers didn’t mention it. Excalibur did say there were questions about whether Omega would be able to compete in the match. Death Triangle came out next. Don Callis joined in on commentary. (What is his character, by the way? Is he meant to be obnoxious manager or a loud-mouthed likable advocate or what?) He said Omega is on a 17 hour jet leg coming back from Japan.
Lots of rapid-fire action early with tornado rules in effect, so no tags and everyone legal always. Pac and Penta bashed Omega with a ladder at ringside and then Fenix dove into him. Nick then flip dove over the top rope onto Fenix and posed for the camera. When Matt set up a ladder mid-ring and began climbing it, Penta pulled him down. Matt gave Penta a destroyer, but Penta springboard arm-dragged Matt off the ladder. Fenix climbed the ladder, but Omega yanked him down. He leaned the ladder against the top rope. Pac dropkicked him off the top rope, but Omega came back with a snap dragon suplex. Omega went for a running flip dive onto a table at ringside, but Pac moved so Omega crashed through it. Matt crossbody pressed Pac through another table seconds later. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Penta and Fenix beat up Omega in the ring during the break. Back from the break, the Bucks were back on their feet. Schiavone said Tony Khan told them they’d stay with the match as long as necessary. Fenix yanked Nick off the top rope with a head scissors and sent him crashing onto a ladder. A “Fight forever!” chant broke out. Pac stomped on a ladder with Omega’s fingers trapped in it.
Pac set up a ladder mid-ring. Omega rolled into the ring and yanked him off the ladder into position for a One-Winged Angel. Pac countered with a poison rana. Matt tossed Fenix into a ladder leaning in the corner. Nick then landed a 450 splash off the top rope onto Penta who was lying on a table at ringside. Matt climbed the ladder mid-ring, but Abrahantes pushed the ladder over. Cutler entered with his cold spray and fired it into Abrahantes’ eyes. Omega then hit him with a V-Trigger. Taz said he loved seeing that.
Omega then climbed the ladder mid-ring, but Pac hit him with with a hammer. Pac then sitout powerbombed Omega at ringside. Pac climbed the ladder next, but Matt Jackson met him on the other side. Penta bridged a ladder over the top rope to the other ladder mid-ring and landed Fear Factor on Matt. Omega then climbed the ladder instead and met Rey Fenix on top. Omega delivered a One Winged Angel off the ladder. Pac went for a Black Arrow on Omega, but Omega lifted his knees. Omega then climbed the ladder and fought fatigue and pulled down one of the three belts to win.
WINNERS: The Elite to win the AEW Trios Tag Team Titles in 15:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: A lot of moves, not much of a story, but undeniably the crowd ate it up. This type of match is like a pop song chorus played over and over again at 2x speed. It’s kinda fun, but exhausting and when you’re finished, your not sure what you heard/watched exactly but it wasn’t boring.)
FINAL THOUGHTS: A very good episode of AEW Dynamite with three stand out matches, all with a different vibe and flavor. Adam Cole’s return was noteworthy and gripping. MJF was strong as usual. The show was brought down a notch by Starks and Andretti’s mic work.
Absolutely unreadable! All the missing words, misspellings and dangling participle make me think you need an editor there! Oh wait, that’s supposed to be you!