by Pat McNeill, PWTorch Columnist
Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It’s time for our semi-monthly ROH pay-per-view preview column!
DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Joe Koff, Gary Juster or The Man With The Lizard Face. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall’s porch since noon today. Some of our departing contestants will receive Ceilings by Celotex. Choose from a wide variety of patterns, colors and textures. All so beautiful and easy to install, they’ll enhance any room. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over ROH, unless a better one-liner comes along.
I want to make sure I understand the current state of the professional wrestling business in 2017.
– WWE poaches talent from WWN/Evolve
– WWN/Evolve poaches talent from Ring of Honor
– Ring of Honor poaches talent from Impact Wrestling
– Impact Wrestling picks up any talent left on the WWE discard pile
And the circle of life continues.
Before we look at tonight’s show, let’s roll right into this month’s Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, on March 30, 1997, World Chanmpionship Wrestling aired an episode of WCW Pro (pretaped) from Orlando, Florida. Does it get more exciting than watching Ice Train take on Bunkhouse Buck? We don’t think so. Chris Cruise, Larry Zbyszko and the late Dusty Rhodes had the call
And, as your free gift for viewing this column, let’s take you back to April 29, 2007 for the multi-promotional King of Europe Cup in Liverpool, England. It is King of the Cruiserweights “Pac” Neville vs. Nigel McGuiness. I don’t know the announcers, but they sound British. Enjoy.
Yes, someone had their phone recording on Saturday night in Manhattan for Manhattan Mayhem VI. Enjoy this for the fifteen minutes it’s online, until YouTube takes it down.
I have no idea who will be in the dark match, but I hope Kenny King is involved.
On with the projections!
Cheeseburger vs. Chris Sabin vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. “Hangman” Adam Page vs. Punishment Martinez vs. Silas Young: The winner of this bout gets a shot at the Ring of Honor Television Title at the Sam’s Town tapings on Saturday. Really, this could go to any of the six. Projection? Silas Young pins Cheeseburger while the other four brawl outside the ring. Which is fine. Scurll vs. Silas Young has a nice ring to it.
The Briscoe Brothers & Bully Ray vs. War Machine & Davey Boy Smith Jr.: Bully Ray is a big physical guy, and putting him in this match is as good a fit as any. Projection? Jay Briscoe pins Harry Bulldog with the Jay Driller, setting up the big Hardys vs. Briscoes dream match for the tapings.
Jay Lethal vs. Bobby Fish: Now that Roderick Strong is gone, Jay Lethal has become Mister Ring of Honor. Bobby Fish is Mister I Can’t Wait To Leave Ring Of Honor And Team With Kyle O’Reilly Again. This one books itself. Projection? Lethal wins with the Lethal Combination.
The Kingdom vs. Dalton Castle & The Boys (ROH Six Man Tag Team Titles): This one looks midcard-riffic. The Six Man Belts have become the light comedy championships, so we’ll book them accordingly. Projection? Castle pins TK O’Ryan, and we have new six man champions. Really, it isn’t an ROH pay-per-view without a title change. This is the best bet.
Marty Scurll vs. Lio Rush (ROH Television Title): Lio Rush is rumored to be on his way out of Ring of Honor, and he was destroyed buy Shane Taylor and The Rebellion at the last set of television tapings. Why wouldn’t you give this man a pay-per-view title shot? Projection Good match with Marty submitting Rush with the Spot Of Bother. That IS what he calls that move, right?
The Hardy Boys vs. Young Bucks vs. Roppongi Vice (ROH World Tag Team Titles – Triple Threat Las Vegas Street Fight): This looked like a great match when it was just Matt & Nick Jackson against Trent Baretta & Rocky Romero. But now Brother Matt and Broken Nero are in the mix. How delightful! Projection? This week, The Bullet Club is prepared, and they interfere in the match. The Brisoces & Bully Ray come out to make the save, and Matt Hardy pins Trent Baretta during the melee. The Hardys are bringing the belts with them to Florida on April 1st. Any other finish is anticlimactic.
Adam Cole vs. Christopher Daniels (ROH World Title): On the one hand, it looks like Christopher Daniels will still be in Ring of Honor sixty days from now. And he can still go. On the other hand, that would make The Fallen Angel a transitional champion. It’s better to have the new champion beat Adam Cole head on. Projection? Cole keeps the title, pinning Daniels with the Last Shot. The title change happens tomorrow at the television taping.
You’re going to hate me for saying this, but my money is on Jay Lethal winning the title back.
Aftermath: War Of The World is May 12th in New York City. I’m guessing Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks take on whoever’s still on the roster in a big six-man tag team match. See you there!
Pat McNeill of Greenville, South Carolina has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He’d take the San Antonio Spurs to beat the Golden State Warriors in tomorrow’s big pro basketball game. You know, if gambling were legal.