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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
Sept. 21, 2017
Taped from Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Josh Mathews & Jeremy Borash
Immediately following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to the PWTorch Livecast. Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek will discuss tonight’s show with callers. Listen at www.pwtorchlivecast.com and call the show at 515-605-9345 or email email@example.com
— Impact opened with a graphic honoring Bobby Heenan.
— The GFW signature graphic aired.
— Highlights of last week’s episode were shown.
— The Impact opened aired.
— Johnny Impact walked in through a backdoor and he was searching for Eli Drake.
— In-arena: Impact walked to the ring. Mathews pointed out that Eli Drake isn’t here, because he’s in Mexico. As soon as Mathews said that, Impact screamed for Drake to come out, because he wanted his title shot right now. Apparently, no one clued in Impact that Eli Drake was in Mexico.
KM came to the ring with a referee. KM said he saw Impact calling out Eli Drake. He told Impact to wish in one hand and crap in another and see which fills up first. KM told the crowd to shut up and then said that Drake is in Mexico. Impact said that was days ago, and he saw Drake’s car in the parking lot. KM said the fans suck. KM asked if Impact was calling him a liar. Impact said he’s calling KM a liar and a kid in the front row was calling him a “douche rocket.”
KM said he had an idea. He told Impact he wanted him to put his No. 1 contender status on the line, and said he was the only undefeated member of the Impact roster. Impact almost immediately agreed, for some stupid reason. Impact asked the crowd if they wanted to see the match, and the crowd cheered like a bunch of sheep.
(1) JOHNNY IMPACT vs. KM — No. 1 contender for the GFW Global Title
Impact superkicked KM to begin the match but KM kicked out a two. KM clipped Impact and then threw some kicks with Impact on the mat. KM threw Impact into the turnbuckle. Impact hit a seated KM with a knee to the face. KM rolled up Impact with his feet on the ropes but the referee saw it. Impact hit a springboard kick. Impact went to the top and hit a twisting elbow for the win.
WINNER: Johnny Impact in 3:00.
McMahon: I’m sorry, but what a way to make your babyface look stupid. It’s not as bad as having him lose the No. 1 contendership, but why did Impact agree to put his title shot on the line? He has no history with KM. None at all. It just doesn’t make any sense. Is it supposed to show that he’s a fighting No. 1 contender? As KM rolled Impact up with his feet on the ropes, the announcers essentially said that Impact was foolish for putting his status at stake because it could all change if KM cheated like that. He didn’t need to be cemented as a babyface for being a “fighting No. 1 contender.” There was no reason to do that.
And on top of that, you take KM and beat him in three minutes? For what? They clearly have no plans for him or else he would have looked a lot more legitimate in there against Impact. Not to mention he hasn’t been on TV in weeks. They just killed a chance to actually do something with him. There are plenty of heels for Impact to get a tuneup win against before Drake … Chris Adonis, maybe? At least that would make some storyline sense.
— Pagano was talking to someone backstage, and told him, “you know what to do,” but we couldn’t see who it was.
— A video aired on Taya Valkyrie.
(2) TAYA VALKYRIE vs. AVA STORIE
Valkyrie was in charge almost right away, kicking a downed Storie in the back. Valkyrie hit a double chicken wing facebuster for the win.
WINNER: Taya Valkyrie in 1:00
After the match Valkyrie grabbed a mic and said Lucha royalty has arrived. She said she came to Impact to win the Knockouts Title. Valkyrie told Karen Jarrett not to waste her time.
Rosemary’s music played and she came to the stage. Rosemary had face makeup on, but not as much as usual, especially around her eyes. Rosemary was interacting with fans at ringside who had her mask on. Rosemary said the hive thinks it’s funny that Valkyrie believes she deserves a title shot before their demon mother. Rosemary said if anyone deserves a title shot, it’s her. Rosemary and Valkyrie went nose-to-nose before they began brawling.
Sienna hit the ring and began beating on Rosemary. Valkyrie and Sienna took turns beating on Rosemary before they began arguing and Rosemary knocked them both down. A three-way brawl took place for a few moments before Allie hit the ring. Taryn Terrell then hit the ring. Then it was a 3-on-2 on the babyfaces to close out the segment. Gail Kim hit the ring to save the day.
McMahon: From a match standpoint, that’s how you should build a heel. It’s how WWE built Nia Jax and Braun Strowman, and it worked. It will work here too. The post-match angle just gets Valkyrie lost among a larger group in the division. The match this week and last week were helping her stand out.
— A video aired on oVe entering the LAX clubhouse. They didn’t notice Homicide, apparently, who watched them walk in.
— LAX learned that oVe hit their clubhouse and they were heading back there. LAX walked in and told oVe they have “some big balls.” oVe and LAX began to shove and argue. After some more yelling, they said that they would fight again next week. Homicide told LAX they should party.
— Impact aired the second part of the Global Forged series, where new wrestlers are trying to get into Impact. Scott D’Amore was reviewing film.
— Rosemary, Gail Kim and Allie were interviewed about how they want to send the heel team out on stretches.
— A highlight video of Trevor Lee winning the X Division Title was shown. Petey Williams was interviewed as part of the video, and he said Trevor Lee doesn’t represent what the X Division represents.
— A video on Bound for Glory aired, with multiple wrestlers talking about how important that night is going to be.
— A video was shown on Grado being the first client of Park, Park & Park. Grado was shown at an indie show in Cleveland, which he called, “God’s country.” Colt Cabana was shown in the background, giving Grado a face in the package.
(3) PAGANO & EL HIJO DEL FANTASMA vs. ECIII & EDDIE EDWARDS
Edwards vs. Fantasma began the match. After a few minutes of back and forth, Edwards had a pin on Fantasma but ECIII was brawling with Pagano, which distracted the referee. Texano Jr. hits the ring and hits Eddie Edwards, which allows the AAA team to pickup the win.
WINNER: Pagano & El Hijo Del Fantasma
After the match, the three AAA wrestlers beat down Edwards and ECIII. James Storm ran out to make the save. Storm shook Edwards’ hand but not ECIII’s.
McMahon: Good match and more setup for the eventual AAA vs. Impact match that will probably happen at Bound for Glory. For the most part, these inter-promotion matches don’t usually go well (look at the NJPW/ROH relationship, and the oftentimes one-sided booking) but this has some potential.
— Impact was backstage looking for Drake. Pagano and Fantasma said they didn’t like him in his country and he didn’t like him. Impact challenged Texano, and said he’d put his No. 1 contender status on the line (again).
McMahon: So not only does Impact put his No. 1 contender up once, he does it twice! And this time to a guy who wasn’t even on the roster 15 minutes ago.
(4) KONGO KONG vs. MAHABLI SHERA
Shera tried shoulder tackles but couldn’t move Kong, who hit a suplex for a two count. Shera again tried power moves but couldn’t hit them. Shera dragged Kong along the top and hit a springboard ax handle for a two count. Kong knocked out Shera with a head butt and hit a cannonball in the corner, followed by a splash.
WINNER: Kongo Kong in 4:00
— A video packaged aired on Eli Drake in Mexico.
(5) EL TEXANO vs. JOHNNY IMPACT — No. 1 contender for the Global Title
After a few seconds of tying up, Texano slapped Impact in the face and then Impact tackled him. Impact kicked Texano and hit a spinning neckbreaker three times for a two count. Impact went to the top rope and went for his spinning elbow finisher but Texano moved. Impact landed on his feet and Texano hit an elbow for a two count. Texano kicked Impact off the top rope and to the outside.
Back from the break, Texano threw Impact into the ring steps. Texano went to the top but Impact kicked him to the outside and then hit a moonsault to the outside. Mathews said that Impact twisted his ankle. Texano and Impact traded punches mid-ring. Impact dropkicked Texano to the outside. Back in the ring, Texano was in control again, chopping Impact in the corner and then hit clotheslines. Impact hit a springboard kick for a two count. Impact played to the crowd and Texano rolled him up for a two count. Impact hit a sliding German and then hit Starship Pain off the top for the win.
WINNER: Johnny Impact in 14:00
McMahon: Really good match (by far the match of the night) which saved the segment despite the silly circumstances in which the match was set up.
— Back from the break, Laurel Van Ness was in a black dress, with smeared makeup, flirting with male fans.
— Highlights of the knockouts brawl from earlier were shown.
— Karen Jarrett had Sienna, Taya Valkyrie and Taryn Terrell walk into her office. Karen said that Sienna started it. Sienna said they wanted a six-woman tag next week. Karen said that she would enjoy watching the three of them get their asses beat.
— Clips of Eli Drake in Mexico were shown. Drake was defending the GFW Global Title against Bronce. Unlike last week, they showed more of the match than a highlight video, with Mathews and Borash providing commentary. There were no ring entrances, but we did see introductions and the match in its entirety. Drake picked up the win.
McMahon: I’m glad they finally showed a match like this in its entirety rather than with music video highlights.
— The show ended with Borash and Mathews running down the Victory Road card for next week.