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The following report was published on PWTorch.com five years ago this week…
WWE Smackdown review
March 8, 2013
Taped 3/5/13 in Albany, N.Y.
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist (Twitter: @gregmparks)
– “In Memory of William Moody, ‘Paul Bearer,’ 1954-2013.”
– WWE Open.
– The opening video package profiled The Shield and last week’s attack on Randy Orton and Sheamus, with the save coming from an unlikely source in The Big Show. Also, Jack Swagger attacked three real Americans on Raw and tonight, his Wrestlemania opponent faces Dolph Ziggler.
– The show went right into the arena in Albany. Michael Cole’s voice was the first we heard. The first theme song was that of Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. Cole and Josh Mathews were shown at the announce desk. “Welcome to Jack Swagger’s America,” said Swagger to open his in-ring promo. He asked the fans to show some respect for a real American and a founding father, Zeb Colter. Zeb asked the fans in attendance to admit that they all share the same values as Swagger and himself. He said everyone can see what is wrong with the country, but the fans are too scared to say something about it. Colter said everyone knows someone who has lost a job to someone who has sneaked across the border to work for “a few pesos.” Colter said he wants to write a Bill of Rights for legal citizens. They both repeated the “we the people” mantra and Swagger said he was taking America back. Colter said if people don’t agree with them, they’re the problem. Alberto Del Rio’s music interrupted. He walked onto the stage with Ricardo Rodriguez.
Del Rio promised to show why Swagger’s real America is the problem. A mock Colter and Swagger video aired starring Rodriguez as Colter (complete with giant fake stomach and fake facial hair) and Del Rio as Swagger. He looked more like Tiger Ali Singh than Swagger or anyone else. It was even hard to tell it was Del Rio under the fake hair and beard. Rodriguez and Del Rio decried Mexican food. The video package went on a little longer than it should’ve, but that’s par for the course with WWE. Swagger and Colter were upset in the ring and Del Rio’s music played. I guess that’s the end of the segment.
– Ziggler vs. Del Rio, still to come tonight, thanks to a Twitter vote last week.
1 – HEATH SLATER & DREW MCINTYRE vs. TEAM HELL NO
No entrance for 3MB. McIntyre took the fight to Kane in the corner, but Kane came back with a back-elbow to take down the Scot. Slater tagged in, but didn’t fare much better. Tag to Bryan, and he and Kane worked well as a team early on. Bryan took Slater over the top rope with a headscissors. He fought off McIntyre on the outside, but Slater clotheslined him down. Jinder Mahal looked on from ringside. Slater and McIntyre isolated Bryan in their corner. Bryan floated over on a short-arm DDT attempt and dropped McIntyre with a back suplex. Tags made by both legal men. Slater came off the second rope and fell victim to an uppercut by Kane for a two-count. Sidewalk slam by the Big Red Machine. He set up for the chokeslam, but a Mahal distraction turned the tide. A rough sequence led to Slater rolling up Bryan for two. Bryan ended up tapping out Slater to the No Lock.
WINNERS: Team Hell No, at 4:02. Fine aside from the finish. Presumably this helps set up the bickersons for a tag title match against another team(s) at Wrestlemania.
– Stills aired of some of the Divas in Africa for NothingButNets.com, which aims to help protect people from Malaria.
– Matt Striker was backstage with Ziggler, A.J. and Big E. Langston. Ziggler talked about why fans voted him into this match last week. He vowed that history will be made against Del Rio tonight. A.J. continues to be treated as an afterthought in this role.
– Next, we’ll see how and why Triple H challenged Brock Lesnar on Raw.
– Ryback was walking backstage. He came upon Mark Henry and the two again went face-to-face. They parted ways with nary a word spoken between them. Ryback is in action next.
– The announcers were shown at ringside bragging about how well WWE’s DVDs are selling when Brad Maddox sidled up next to Cole at the desk. Maddox promised to shake things up. Cole sent it to a clip of Triple H’s challenge to Brock Lesnar for Wrestlemania. This week on Raw, Brock will have an answer for The Game.
– Damien Sandow was in the ring. He said he’d be facing a “barbaric brute” tonight. Sandow continued to drone on about his opponent’s lack of appetite for literature when Ryback’s music hit.
2 – DAMIEN SANDOW vs. RYBACK
Cole brought up Maddox’s loss to Ryback, which seems like forever ago. Sandow slipped to ringside after Ryback powered him down in the early going. Sandow brought Ryback down throat-first over the top rope, then made the mistake of slapping him in the head. Sandow clotheslined Ryback and kept putting the boots to him once Ryback was off his vertical base. Mathews called Maddox “the Dwight Schrute of WWE,” finally completing the “assistant TO the managing supervisor” joke that is about five years too late. Ryback came back with a back body-drop. Cole said Team Rhodes Scholars would be facing the New Age Outlaws on Raw this week. That’s an interesting tidbit, that the Outlaws will be wrestling more than just on the Old School Raw. Hard clothesline by Ryback, then Shell Shock for the win.
WINNER: Ryback, at 3:19. Much like Ziggler, Sandow is taking a lot of losses lately, but he can easily regain the heat with his mic work.
– We’ll see what happened as it pertains to C.M. Punk and Undertaker from Raw.
– Also, what’s the latest with The Shield? We’ll find out next.
– The exterior of the Times Union was shown.
– They showed footage from Raw courtesy of the WWE App, where The Shield attacked The Big Show after the main event.
– Striker was backstage with Big Show. Striker asked Show about The Shield. He said he doesn’t pick sides and whoever gets in his way will be knocked out. He blamed Sheamus, his opponent tonight, as well as Randy Orton, for The Shield’s attack on Raw. Show balled his fist and said that’s his answer to all of The Shield and asked if he needed anything else. He did turn away and appear to show a little more concern on his face than he was letting on.
– Ricardo Rodriguez introduced Alberto Del Rio. He came out for his match with Ziggler, which is next.
3 – ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER
Ziggler landed a splash on Del Rio in the corner. Maddox was still on commentary. Early on, A.J. had to talk Langston out of attacking Rodriguez on the outside. Rodriguez threw his bucket of water at Langston, but Langston moved and A.J. was covered in water. This time, Langston had to hold A.J. back from attacking Rodriguez. She chased him around ringside and Langston intercepted her. Nothing was going on in the ring at this time. Finally, referee Charles Robinson ejected A.J. and Langston from ringside. They went to break 2:58 into the match.
Back at 6:04 of the match. Ziggler was in the middle of nailing Del Rio with several elbowdrops. Sunset flip by Del Rio for two. Dropkick by Ziggler for two. Swagger and Colter were shown watching the match on a monitor backstage and you could actually hear Colter and Swagger conversing. Maddox claimed he’d make Ziggler put his briefcase on the line tonight. Ziggler missed a corner splash and Del Rio went to the top rope to retrieve him. He completed an inverted suplex off the top. Both men were down. Once they got to their feet, Del Rio got the upper hand. He superkicked Ziggler and made a cover for two at 9:41. With Ziggler tied up in the ropes, Del Rio gave him a back-stabber for two. Del Rio ascended to the top rope, but was caught coming down with a dropkick. Only a two-count, at 11:18. German suplex by Del Rio for two. Ziggler jumped at Del Rio and connected on a DDT for two. Ziggler rolled Del Rio up after a cross arm-breaker attempt. It only got two and Del Rio finally locked it in for the tap-out win.
WINNER: Del Rio, via submission, at 13:08. Beautiful match after the break (as before the break was basically hijinks outside the ring). This is one of the reasons I wouldn’t have faulted WWE for doing Del Rio vs. Ziggler at Mania.
– A still-moist A.J. was approached backstage by Daniel Bryan. Bryan said he didn’t see what happened and they went on to argue about the past. A.J. said her boyfriend still has the MITB contract, and soon enough, she’ll be with the World Heavyweight Champion, one who knows how to handle a woman like her. She said unlike Bryan, she knows how to get along with her partner. Bryan said when they were together, he didn’t just carry a briefcase: He was World Champion. “Yeah, and you lost it in 18 second,” she said. Bryan said with Ziggler, A.J. should be used to things lasting 18 seconds. I feel like that entire segment was designed for that joke.
– Sheamus vs. Big Show is the main event.
4 – YOSHI TATSU vs. MARK HENRY
They showed Henry’s confrontation with Ryback from earlier in the evening. Henry took Tatsu to the mat and then just tossed him in the air. Henry yelled for Tatsu to get up, then he picked up the Japanese Superstar and gave him the World’s Strongest Slam.
WINNER: Henry, at :39. They couldn’t have had a Tatsu-level guy job to Ryback earlier?
– The Donald Trump Hall-of-Fame video was shown.
– Striker was backstage with Sheamus. Sheamus said Show’s ego took a dent at the hands of The Shield Monday night. And according to Show, nothing is ever his fault. But when he kicks Show’s melon off his neck later, that won’t be Show’s fault, but his.
– The Rock. John Cena. Their face-to-face from Raw will be shown next.
– The announcers sent it to clips of Cena and The Rock’s mic work from Raw.
5 – KAITLYN vs. TAMINA
Layla was in Kaitlyn’s corner for a reason we found out on the WWE App, though Mathews admitted the reasoning made no sense. Kaitlyn dove at Tamina and collided face-first with the middle rope. They just happened to be showing Cody Rhodes watching backstage on a monitor at the same time. Outside the ring, Kaitlyn and Tamina went at it. Layla, who was tossed aside by Tamina when she tried to check on Kaitlyn, attempted to enter the ring and go after Tamina. Kaitlyn had to stop her, which allowed Tamina to hit the Samoan Drop for the win.
WINNER: Tamina, at 1:23. At least they’re building to Kaitlyn vs. Layla and not just throwing the two together.
– Sandow walked up to Rhodes, who was still watching on the monitor. Sandow was disgusted by the restaurants in the area, but Rhodes wasn’t listening. Instead, he asked Sandow about Kaitlyn. Sandow said she was a “commendable in-ring performer.” That wasn’t what Rhodes meant, so Sandow said she has made the most of what she has, considering she obviously comes from a deficient gene pool. His words, not mine.
– Tonight, we’ll see what happened on Raw as it relates to Punk and Undertaker.
– A Fandango vignette aired. He supposedly premieres tonight.
– Justin Gabriel was in the ring for a match with Fandango. The dancer came out, then Fandango. Of course, Lilian Garcia once again mispronounced his name. Fandango let her know about it. He said he’d make his debut when the ring announcer can pronounce his name correctly. Lilian tried again and it still wasn’t good enough. She should’ve tried, “Johnny Curtis.” He told Garcia to let the “a’s” flow through her body. She tried again, still to no avail. Bring out The Fink – he’d ace it on the first try. Fandango said he won’t compete tonight, and the fans can thank “Jillian” for missing out on his debut.
– Booker T. and Teddy Long were shown watching the proceedings in Booker’s office. Booker told Long to find “Flamingo” and tell him he better compete next time Booker puts him in a match. Long even made fun of Booker for mispronouncing the name. Booker wasn’t seeing the fun in it.
– The Raw Rebound aired. They also showed a graphic for Punk vs. Undertaker at Mania.
– Sheamus came out for the main event. It’s next.
– A Colter/Swagger video aired on foreigners needing to speak English in America.
6 – SHEAMUS vs. THE BIG SHOW
During Show’s entrance, they showed The Shield interfering in last week’s Smackdown main event. Show buried Sheamus with a spear and Sheamus rolled to ringside. Show sent Sheamus into the timekeeper’s area as they went to break at 1:46 of the match.
Back at 5:27 of the match with Sheamus still on the defensive. Sheamus fought free but ran into a side slam for two. Sheamus put Show on his shoulders, but couldn’t pull off the electric chair. Show picked up Sheamus for a powerbomb, then just tossed him over his head. It only got him a two-count. Hard chops to the chest by Show. Sheamus headbutted his way out of a chokeslam and took Show to the canvas. He climbed to the top but jumped into a chokeslam. Sheamus countered with a DDT for a two-count at 8:25. Knockout punch was avoided and Sheamus hit White Noise on Show. Even though he’s done that a number of times now, I’m sure it’s still an impressive move to see live. Show rolled out of the ring to avoid the Brogue Kick, so Sheamus shoulderblocked him from the apron. Sheamus was tossed into the ring and he Brogue Kicked Show as he tried to re-enter the ring. Just then, The Shield’s music played and they came down from the stands. They turned their attention to Sheamus and for some reason, the ref had stopped counting Show out. Randy Orton came into the ring to fight next to Sheamus. The heels entered the ring and a brawl ensued.
WINNER: Sheamus, via disqualification(?), around 11:07 (no bell).
Show came back and helped the faces fight off The Shield. The Shield retreated through the stands. Show gave Sheamus a Knockout Punch and Orton RKO’d Show. Smackdown closed with Orton’s music playing and him standing tall in the ring.
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Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom. Comments, questions and feedback are welcome, and can be sent to email@example.com.