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KELLER’S AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
MAY 4, 2022
BALTIMORE, MD.
AIRED LIVE ON TBS
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, Excalibur
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
[HOUR ONE]
-After the Dynamite opening played, Jim Ross excitedly introduced the show as the camera panned the crowd. Adam Cole’s entrance theme played and he made his way to the commentary desk.
(1) BOBBY FISH (w/Kyle O’Reilly) vs. JEFF HARDY (w/Matt Hardy)
The Hardys came out first. When Hardy celebrated an early hip toss and played to the crowd, Cole said he was taunting and that was a big mistake. Fans chanted for both Hardy and Fish a minute in. Fish took over at 2:00. They showed Sting and Darby watching from the rafters, then cut to a split-screen break at 6:00. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Cole stood and got worried when Hardy took over and set up a Swanton Bomb. Hardy took time to play to the crowd briefly, which was just enough time for Fish to stand and knock Hardy off balance. Then he landed a top rope suplex for a near fall. Fish transitioned into a leglock mid-ring. Hardy managed to reach the bottom rope to force a break. Hardy caught a charging Fish with an elbow. He went for another Swanton and this time hit it for the win. Cole was distraught afterward.
WINNER: Hardy in 13:00 to qualify for the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament.
(Keller’s Analysis: Solid match.)
-The Young Bucks walked out to the ring and approached the Hardys. Cole said he’d give his left arm to see those two teams go at it. Ross said it was one generation’s favorite against another generation’s favorite. The Bucks joined O’Reilly in checking on Fish. Matt led a “Delete!” chant.
-A William Regal vignette aired. He said a wrestler’s scars are the window to their souls. He said if you gave 100 people a knife and asked them inflict punishment on someone they hate more than anyone else, 99 percent would stab that person. Regal said they wouldn’t; instead, they’d slice their cheek. He said in six months, you’ll forget about the stabbing, but if you get cut on the face, you’ll see the scar every time you look in the mirror.
(2) “AMERICAN DRAGON” BRYAN DANIELSON & & JON MOXLEY & WHEELER YUTA (w/William Regal) vs. ANGELICO & BUTCHER & BLADE
Danielson came out first. Then Yuta with Regal. Regal joined the announcers on commentary. Moxley came out through the crowd, as usual. Regal was amped up, calling someone on the announce team’s profile “scrumptious.” He struggled comically pronouncing Angelico’s name. He talked about facing Antonio Inoki in Japan. “You can only imagine the actual insights I can offer the Blackpool Combat Club about any of their disciplines,” he bragged. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Yuta hot-tagged in Mox, who got a big pop as he went after Blade. Excalibur said Mox and Blade were old rivals when they both wrestled for Les Thatcher. Mox tossed Blade around ringside aggressively. Back in the ring, Mox hit a cutter. He then bit Butcher when Butcher tried to intervene. Blade then tagged out to Angelico, who ate a quick clothesline and took a nice flip bump. Danielson tagged in and hit a missile dropkick, then kipped up. All six got in the ring at once, with Blackpool pounding away in various ways at their opponents. Regal called it “musical brutality.” Danielson got the tapout win with a triangle sleeper on Angelico who tapped out.
WINNERS: Blackpool Combat Club in 8:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: It’s a pleasure to watch the Blackpool Combat Club deliver their beatings each week.)
-Tony Schiavone interviewed Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs backstage. Starks said they aren’t scared of Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus. JB, Luchasaurus, and Christian walked in. JB said they’ve thought about their challenge last week and they accept. JB said Starks seems like a spicy guy, so he wants a shot at his FTW Title first. Starks took off his sunglasses. Christian called his shades fake and said he never seems to defend the belt. Starks’s jaw dropped and he said the shades aren’t fake. He accepted JB’s challenge and he said next week he’ll show him what a real name is all about. “Let’s get out of here,” Starks told Hobbs. They left.
-Excalibur plugged Deonna Purrazzo vs. Mercedez Martinez for the ROH Title. Ross plugged Wardlow vs. an MJF mystery opponent. [c]
-Schiavone interviewed Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland backstage. Swerve said they have unfinished business with Starks & Hobbs. Lee said when this is done, they’ll have no choice but to “swerve at our glory.”
(2) WARDLOW vs. WILLIAM MORRISSEY
Wardlow was escorted to the ring by security with handcuffs on. Ross said Wardlow’s popularity is increasing by the week. Fans chanted “Wardlow!” as he was uncuffed. (They chant it like he’s an opposing goaltender who just let in a goal.) MJF came out to his music next, accompanied by Shawn Spears. MJF said he’d love to say it’s great to be back in Maryland, “but then I’d be a lying piece of shit.” Ross said that’s already been well-established. MJF told the fans to shut their mouths. He said he’s going to watch the match in the back away from “the disgusting pigs” in the crowd. He then introduced William Morrissey. Ross said he’s from Impact Wrestling. Morrissey offered a high five, but MJF asked him to lower his hand so he could reach it. Morrisey did. Excalibur said he will be Wardlow’s biggest opponent ever and his toughest challenge. They showed John Harbaugh in the crowd. Ross said he was Brian Pillman’s roommate in college.
They were going for a mid-ring test of strength when Morrisey threw a knee instead. Morrissey splashed Wardlow in the corner, but Wardlow stormed out of the corner and tackled Wardlow in the corner. Morrissey leapfrogged Wardlow and then came back with a big boot. They showed MJF and Spears celebrating in the back, watching on a monitor. Ross wondered if Morrissey is approaching this as simply a payday or a job interview. Morrissey then clotheslined Wardlow over the top rope. Wardlow bent over and caught his breath as Morrissey celebrated in the ring. Morrissey then went after Wardlow at ringside. Wardlow fired back at him at ringside. A dueling chant broke out of “We Want Enzo / No We Don’t!” (No we don’t. I wonder what Todd Martin was chanting there.)
Morrissey bashed Wardlow’s head against the ring apron, then threw him into the ring. Morrissey returned to the ring Kevin Nash-style, stepping over the top rope. Wardlow recovered and began fighting back, but Morrissey landed a turning side slam as Wardlow rebounded hard off the ropes. That got a two count. Morrissey set up a top rope back suplex, but Wardlow punched out of his grip. Wardlow then hit Morrissey with a moonsault and nearly landed on his feet. He let out a big yell and pulled his strap down. Then he hit one powerbomb and got the three count. They cut to MJF throwing a fit and slamming a chair down in the back.
WINNER: Wardlow in 6:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: I was hoping they’d protect Morrissey more here, perhaps having MJF’s interference backfire or something. Morrissey seemed like someone worth protecting better than this where he just took a single powerbomb and lost clean.)
-Afterward, security entered the ring to re-cuff Wardlow, but Wardlow shoved them down. MJF and Spears came out onto the stage and sent more security guys. They charged into the ring one at a time, and Wardlow knocked them down one at a time. The crowd was in a frenzy as each security guy took a wild bump for Wardlow. Wardlow tossed one security guy Awesome Bomb style from the ring onto a crowd of other security guys. Wardlow said he’s not going to stop taking out everyone MJF sends his way until he gets his hands on him and he releases him from his contract. MJF told everyone to settle down. They booed. Fans chanted, “Wardlow’s gonna kill you!” MJF suggested they “have a little match.” He said if Wardlow wins, he’ll let him out of his contract. Wardlow said the match is on, “but, but, but, but, but…” He said he had a couple conditions. He said he’ll reveal those conditions during a contract signing. He said that contract signing won’t take place “in a dump like this.” He said it’ll happen in the most magical place in the world known as Long Island, New York. He threw down the mic and his music played. Excalibur said they’ll be in Long Island next Wednesday. Wardlow played to the crowd.
-Schiavone interviewed Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter on his left and Ruby Soho and Tony Storm on his right. Schiavone said women would open an AEW program for the first time on Friday’s Rampage. Britt said every page of AEW’s history book has her written on it. She said she’s “Dr. Britt Baker the History Maker.” Soho said she’s done listening to her. She told Britt she has a receipt coming. Soho called her a bitch and said they’re not leaving. Britt argued. They cut away.
(Keller’s Analysis: Who left first?) [c]
-Schaivone stood mid-ring and introduced “Hangman” Adam Page. Fans chanted “Cowboy Shit” as he walked out. Schiavone asked about C.M. Punk’s challenge. Hangman said it’d be easy for him to say how much he loves Punk and respect him and look forward to shaking his hand in the ring and standing across from him at Double or Nothing and then having an all-time classic AEW World Title match. “That’d be real, real easy, but that’s not going to happen,” he said. Some fans booed. He said there won’t be a handshake or a masturbatory Bret Hart Tribute match. More booing. He said he is going to destroy Punk. A “C.M. Punk” chant broke out. He found a fan in the crowd wearing a Punk shirt. He asked him to look him in the eyes. He said he’ll be running back to the merchandise stand for a refund when he’s done with Punk. He said he had to break the news to them that Punk isn’t there tonight. He said if he was a betting man, he thinks he’s off filming another TV show. He called it embarrassing. He said he’ll give Punk the fight of his life.
(Keller’s Analysis: I’m not sure how I feel about Hangman’s attitude change. I like that he has an edge, but it felt a little bit like Edge where you just don’t believe it’s authentically him. Is Hangman’s heelish promo a sign he’s going to cheat to win or a sign AEW doesn’t want a split crowd and would rather have everyone explode when Punk beats Hangman for the title?)
-Excalibur said Punk and Hangman each hit like a ton of bricks. Ross said this will be a Match of the Year contender.
-A clip aired of Konosuke Takeshita wrestling on Dark Elevation. He called him an exciting young wrestler from the DDT promotion in Japan. He said he’ll make his Rampage debut this week.
-Backstage, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, and Satnum Singh mockingly applauded the hype for Konosuke Takeshita. Dutt asked where the red carpet treatment is for the three of them. Lethal said he wants to prove that AEW is backing the wrong horse. “I’m getting my red carpet whether you like it or not,” Lethal said.
[HOUR TWO]
(3) CHRIS JERICHO (w/Jake Hager, Matt Mendard, Angelo Parker, Daniel Garcia) vs. SANTANA (w/Ortiz)
Santana jump-started the match by diving onto Jericho at ringside. They brawled at ringside. Jericho took control and then commandeered a camera. Santana gave him two middle fingers, then went on the attack. Jericho dropkicked Santana off the ring apron onto the steps. They cut to an early split-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Jericho was still in control. Santana avoided a charging Jericho in the corner. Santana then hit three consecutive suplexes. Fans chanted, “Eddie! Eddie!” Santana climbed to the top rope, but paused to signal to the sky and then pound the top turnbuckle. Ross said he used a lot of time. Jericho recovered and knocked him off balance. Santana headbutted Jericho down and then landed a frog splash for a near fall. Jericho came back with a Walls of Jericho mid-ring. Santana reached the bottom rope to force a break. Santana surprised Jericho with a small package as he was complaining to the ref. Santana got a two count.
They stood and exchanged chops. Santana caught Jericho with a stunner for a near fall. Mendard distracted Santana on the ring apron. Jericho hit Santana with a low blow and then a Judas Effect for the win.
WINNER: Jericho in 10:00.
-A brawl broke out with everyone afterward in the ring. Jericho hit Santana with his bat. He jabbed Ortiz with the bat, too. J.A.S. got the better of the brawl with the five-on-two advantage.
-A promo aired with Samoa Joe, who told Lethal that he is coming for him Friday on Rampage.
(Keller’s Analysis: Joe’s promos are better when he doesn’t start yelling and end yelling.)
-A commercial aired with Tony Khan who talked about Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. He said people who looked like his dad, his sister, and him were never portrayed as good people on wrestling shows when he was growing up. He said he keeps that in mind when putting wrestling shows together.
-A promo aired with the Gunn Club. Austin, Colten, and Billy walked up to The Acclaimed. They presented them with gifts. Anthony Bowens and Max Caster opened the boxes and found scissors. Billy revealed that it means they’re willing to work with them.
-Brian Pillman Jr., Griff Garrison, and Julia Hart stood mid-ring. Pillman said he stands there humbled after their dealings with the House of Black. He said it resulted in Hart’s mind being poisoned. He said he watched everything he ever worked for being torn apart little by little. He said a quote from John Harbaugh inspired him: “Attack each day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.” Harbaugh applauded and smiled. Pilllman said he lost sight of that quote and got complacent. He said they lost their enthusiasm and that’s when the House of Black drove them apart. He yelled that he’s enthusiastic again about keeping their group together. He got cheers when he called Baltimore great. “Let’s fight!” he yelled. The lights went dark.
All three members of House of Black – Buddy Matthews, Brody King, Malakai Black – eventually made their way to the ring in the dark. Blue lights lit up the ring. Pillman and Garrison held their ground, but House of Black jumped them and beat them up. They cleared the ring of them, then Black cornered Julia. She hyperventilated and looked scared, but then Buddy led her over to Pillman who was on his back mid-ring. Brody handed a chair to her. Fans chanted “House of Black!” Brody stomped Pillman. Schiavone told Julia not to “step to the dark side.” She raised the chair, but couldn’t swing it. Black lost patience and yanked the chair away from her. She cowered as Black chewed her out. The crowd reacted as Pac, Penta, and Fenix arrived. House of Black fled the ring.
(Keller’s Analysis: If that was a dress rehearsal, I’d either cut the segment entirely or at least shorten it by half. Nobody is at all concerned with whether Pillman keeps the Varsity Blondes together.)
-“Smart” Mark Sterling, Jade Cargill, Red Velvet, and Keira Hogan stood backstage. Sterling talked about their success lately. Velvet said she’s going to win the Owen Hart Foundation Cup. Jade said that will make two champions in the Baddies Section.
(4) REY FENIX (w/Penta, Pac, Alex Abrahantes) vs. DANTE MARTIN – Owen Hart Foundation Cup Tournament qualifier
They locked up with a collar and elbow at the start. Fenix pushed Dante against the ropes. They broke clean, but Dante shoved him. Fenix then kicked Dante out of the ring. He then landed a leap off the top rope onto Dante. They cut to very early split-screen break. [c/ss]
Dante took over during the break. Fenix landed a nice springboard reverse side kick followed by a leaping Spanish fly for a near fall. Fans chanted, “This is awesome!” Dante flipped Fenix over with a gut-wrench and then a boot to the face. Dante kicked Fenix off the second rope, then crossbody blocked him for a two count. They went into a slightly choreographed sequence ending with a leaping cutter by Fenix for a near fall. Dante climbed to the top rope a minute later, but Fenix knocked him off balance. Fenix then met him at the top they both flipped off the top and landed on their feet. Fans stood and applauded. Dante landed a sudden poison rana. Fans chanted “Holy shit!” Fenix ducked a diving Dante, who landed on his feet. Fenix then delivered a leaping piledriver/powerbomb type combo for the win.
WINNER: Fenix in 10:00 to qualify.
-Excalibur revealed the Owen bracket: Fenix vs. O’Reilly and Joe vs. a mystery wrestler on the left bracket, and Jeff Hardy vs. Darby and Adam Cole vs. Dax on the right bracket.
-They showed Darby and Sting backstage. Darby said it’ll be a special night wrestling Jeff. Sting said it’ll be a special night. [c]
-Thunder Rosa walked out onto the stage, mic in hand. She said her life is full of successes and failures. She said one success is becoming AEW Champion. She said she fought hard to win the title in Texas. A fans shouted “I love you.” She smiled and said, “I love you, too.” She said she wanted to represent and elevate the women’s wrestling, but has come to be a foundation for the division in AEW. She said she can say with confidence that she is the top competitor in the division. She said she wants to wrestle the top challengers with the most experience. She said that brings her to another story. She said before she was Thunder Rosa, she drove for eight hours on the West Coast to see one wrestler. She said that wrestler inspired her to become the best version of herself possible. She called out the number one contender.
Serena Deeb walked out onto the stage. Deeb said she truly believes that they could make this the best women’s division in the world. Rosa said she totally agrees. Deeb said for that to happen, the best woman wrestler in the world needs to be champion. She eyed Rosa intensely. Rosa said she is the best wrestler because she has the belt. Deeb said she is the champion, which “suggests” she is the best. She said everybody knows but doesn’t want to see that she, Deeb, is on another level. Rosa smiled. Deeb said it’s time she has the belt to show that. Rosa said they can bet on that. Deeb said she’d place a bet that Rosa is about to have the shortest AEW Women’s Title reign in history. She said at Double or Nothing, she’s taking her championship. Rosa held up her belt.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was a nice set-up for the match.)
-Excalibur hyped Rampage: Baker & Hayter vs. Storm & Soho, Takeshita vs. Lethal, Hook vs. J.D. Drake, and Yuka Sakazaki vs. Riho. Schiavone hyped Dynamite next week: Darby vs. Hardy and Cole vs. Dax in Owen Tournament matches, plus the Wardlow-MJF contract signing, Starks vs. J.B., and Punk vs. John Silver. A soundbite aired with John Silver who said if he wants to dance with the meat man, next week he’s in his hometown. He flexed his arms and said that’s why they call him the meat man. “Let’s go!” he said.
(Keller’s Analysis: They worked hard to get Punk cheered by having Hangman cut a heelish promo, but then put Punk against Silver next week in Long Island where Silver is sure to get some cheers? I suspect fans won’t be against Punk even if they’re for Silver, though.)
(5) DEONNA PURRAZZO vs. MERCEDES MARTINEZ – ROH Champion vs. ROH Interim Champion
(Keller’s Analysis: It’s risky to put this match out there as a main event on Dynamite even with great build-up, but this was put out there cold without much hype overall and nothing on this episode. It’s puzzling.)
They started methodically. They cut to an early split-screen break. [c/ss]
They brawled at ringside during the break. Back from the break, Martinez took control. The crowd didn’t react a ton to the action. The bar was set high with some of the action earlier. Purrazzo made a comeback and scored a near fall. They countered each other and hit simultaneous clotheslines. Both were down and slow to get up. Martinez took over and stomped her onto the mat after holding her arms back. Purrazzo bit Martinez’s arm, but Martinez still managed to apply the Dragon Sleeper for the tapout win. They shook hands afterward.
WINNER: Martinez in 11:00 to become the single ROH Women’s Champion.
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