Roman Reigns is one of the most divisive and talked about WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him their number one star – thus far to no avail. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter.
Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter
Roman Reigns followed a marvellous showing last week with an even better one this week. He absolutely stole the show, despite that wonderful moment when The Miz shouted “Blue towel! Blue towel!” This was a crazy show, but man did that Roman Reigns segment stand out.
We open the show with a whole load of not important stuff. The immense talent of The Miz? Boring. Dean Ambrose coming out and getting a big, night long push all the way? Boring. All jokes aside, The Shield might have been reunited for one night only and WWE didn’t make a big deal of it. What’s up with that?
Smackdown aren’t getting Seth, are they? Frowny face emoji.
Seriously, though, none of that matters because when the commentary team announce that Roman Reigns will be having a sitdown interview, you know that it is on. Now Raw is worth watching. If there’s one thing I want to see, it’s the most hated man in WWE sitting down and having a nice chat with Michael Cole. Maybe a nice cup of tea, too? D’aww.
This is going to be the most disappointing segment in history, isn’t it? Hmm. Turns out, no, no it isn’t. It was a bit awesome.
I expected a pre-recorded bit. That didn’t happen. Instead, Reigns and Cole sat down live backstage in the arena. That should have been a sign that something was up.
Cole gave a long pause to let fans finish booing Roman. He gave up on that pretty quick. Roman is missing his chest protector but is rocking the gloves. A backstage segment with Roman’s hair down always means he’s about to be attacked, surely?
Did you know Roman was in the very first episode of Total Divas? It’s true. He was the sexy one whose face Eva Marie wanted to sit on. Just putting that out there.
Roman starts by talking about The Undertaker. He talks about respecting the Undertaker, which he didn’t bother to do last week. The crowd are going crazy now, chanting “Roman Sucks!” Roman slowly moves from sympathetic face to hitting his big heel catchphrase. Cole puts the catchphrase over just in time for a wild Braun Strowman to appear, and man is he wild.
You know, I said at one point in this series that WWE might have accidentally turned Strowman face. I’m starting to think that might have been the plan all along.
Roman gets planted, easily, through a couple of tables. The crowd is very grateful. Does it stop there? No. This fight goes all Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin. It’s very Attitude Era. Roman sells with a bit of choking and coughing, which is good acting, to be honest. We don’t see enough choking and coughing, I think.
I’m confident that Strowman nearly calls the “security” a very naughty word before he power slams Reigns into a packing crate. I think Roman got about two punches in? He then throws some equipment into Reigns.
Say what you want about WWE, they know how to give the fans what they want. They replay highlights of Roman getting beaten up just to hammer that point home. What a performance. I tell you, I could watch that guy get destroyed all day.
Roman Reigns gets his first “you deserve it” chant while he gets strapped to a stretcher. One of those paramedics has huge arms.
Then Strowman returns with a cheer, and a sharp cut. The crowd goes absolutely insane. Strowman is a full on face now. I mean, Roman obviously didn’t take that bump, but who really cares now? Roman looks so much like The Usos when he’s laid out on the floor. Doesn’t say great things about The Usos that I’m so comfortable seeing them laid out, does it?
Triple H makes a cameo on the side of a WWE truck, because it’s not all about Roman, you know? Future stars need some attention too!
Seriously though, Braun isn’t finished. Vince McMahon must have been there, rubbing his hands together as he soaked up the cheers and whispering “Braun, go get him again. Go get him again Braun.”
Again, massive pop for Strowman. Purpose of a heel? Get faces over. Roman just did that. He shouts “I’m not finished with…”
You can not be serious! Strowman just turned over an ambulance. A… just… an ambulance, though.
Just, yes. A thousand times yes. Both guys got so much out of this. It was so Attitude Era. I am so happy right now. Strowman just casually walked off afterwards, like he’s just been and bought an ice cream and now he was going to go and eat it.
Is Roman banned from a tour or something? Filming a movie? This was a pretty convincing I’m-off-TV-for-a-bit moment.
– Braun Strowman
– No, that’s it. It was enough.
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Jumped into that table well though, didn’t he?
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S COLUMN: MONDAY NIGHT REIGNS-O-METER #13: Tracking Roman Reigns’s ability to beat the odds and come out on top