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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
AUGUST 15, 2005
MONTREAL, QUEBEC
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-Shawn Michaels came out in a suit to his music at the very start of the show. No video package or standard opening theme. He was having the time of his life by the time he got to the ring. “Who’s your daddy, Montreal?” asked Michaels. This guy was wearing a “WWJD” t-shirt just a year or two ago, and now he’s asking a crowd of 15,000 Canadians that? The crowd almost drowned him out with boos. He said since the crowd has been so respectful of him, he’d like to return the favor. He sang: “Oh, Canada, how I hate this place. Oh Canada, I’m gonna kick Hulk Hogan right in the face.”
Michaels said, “I’ll admit, I’m no singer. The crowd chanted “Hogan, Hogan.” A loud chant of “You screwed Bret” broke out. He said, “I guarantee, Hulk Hogan, at Summerslam, I will give you and the WWE fans something to remember. And, of course, all of you here in Montreal know that I’m all about…” An “asshole” chant interrupted him. Michaels looked into the camera and made the motion with his hands that the crowd was stretching out his promo, as if to tell the producers he’d be taking more time than expected. He went on to talk about screwing over Bret Hart with “his most miserable defeat.”
The crowd chanted “We Want Bret, We Want Bret.” Eight years later and Bret’s as over as anyone in wrestling – in Canada. Michaels asked, “You want Bret? You’re not gonna get Bret because I screwed Bret.” The crowd booed. Michaels said he did it once and he’d do it again. “If Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart had any guts and he walked down the aisle tonight, stepped into this ring, and looked me eye-to-eye like a man, I’d say, ‘Hitman, I screwed you once and I’ll screw you again.’ Loud boos rang out. Then Bret’s intro music played. The crowd went berserk. Michaels feigned concern. After 45 seconds, Michaels began to laugh. The crowd booed. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler wondered what was going on. Michaels said, “I got your hopes up just a little bit, didn’t I?” Michaels said, “You will never, and I mean ever, hear or see Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart inside a WWE ring again.” This whole promo is designed to try to persuade Bret to agree to do more with WWE than just the DVD and Hall of Fame.
Michaels shifted to Hulk Hogan, saying he screwed Bret and he’ll screw Hogan, too. Michaels said what the Montreal fans hate about him is that he’s everything they wish they could be. “I come out here with my life microphone and I do what I want, when I want to do it. Let’s face it, Hulk Hogan, it’s the same thing you don’t like about me. I’m unlike anybody you’ve ever had to deal with. Well, at Summerslam, brother, whatcha gonna do, brother.” Hogan’s music then played. The crowd popped. Like with Bret, it was a Michaels ruse. I think someone with WWE had a decibel meter in the arena and wanted to test to see who got a louder response.
Michaels collapsed to the mat and laughed. He said: “Now, come on now, the first time, maybe I’m cool. The second time, all you do is show the entire world that Montreal is everything I ever said it was. You Canucks are not the sharpest knives in the drawer.” More boos and chants. “You don’t like me very much, do you?” asked Michaels. He mocked some punches in the air and said those fans would love to see one of their heroes come out and beat him up. “Nobody in this industry can touch me,” he said. “Your heroes, Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan, they’re not even here yet. Their such big superstars their limos don’t bring them to their show until it’s already in progress.”
The crowd began signing, “Na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye.” Michaels sat down in the ring and took off his tie, indicating that until they stopped chanting, he was going to lay in the ring. The crowd booed. He said: “Now that you understand who is running this show, I’ll continue. Hulk Hogan, the same thing I despise about you is the same thing I despise about Bret Hart. You stood for some moral fiber that in your real life did not exist, yet you stood in judgement of me. You, Hulk Hogan, will stand for just about anything. There isn’t a realistic bone in your body. Hulk Hogan, you’re the biggest star in WWE history, and at Summerslam, I want you to bring your big star, I want you to wear your boa, I want you to have your sunglasses on, and I want you to have your chin high.” The crowd broke into a loud “Shut the f––– up” chant. He asked them if they teach their children that same nice language. He stripped off his shirt. He’s getting into “Big PPV Shape.”
He looked into the camera and said, “You’re one move from your star being snuffed out. You don’t believe me, just ask Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart.” He then dropped the mic and left the ring.
[Commercial Break]
-The three Raw Diva finalists were shown backstage. Voting was still open online.
1 — BIG SHOW vs. THE HEART THROBS
Big Show looks like a gigantic Mad Dog Vachon in his new beard and bald hair. Coach said he led the Heart Throbs down the right path in terms of partying at night, but now he’s left them on their own. The Throbbers double-teamed Show, but couldn’t take him off his feet. They did a nice job Mulkying it up for Show, flying all over the ring as he swatted and swung them around. Show splashed them both in the corner and then hit a double chokeslam for a double pin.
WINNER: Big Show at 3:20.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
[Commercial Break]
-Christy Hemme accomplished Eugene to the ring for the Eugene Invitational. He announced that his opponent this week was Rene Dupree. The creative team must never want Eugene to be cheered. It’s tough doing this gimmick where you face hometown folks as a babyface. Ten seconds into the match Angle attacked Dupree and threw him out of the ring, and then stomped away viciously at Eugene. Angle then grabbed the mic and got in Eugene’s face and said it’s a disgrace that a “special person” is walking around with his Gold Medals. Lawler, Coach, and Ross agreed they had never seen Angle so serious. “Absolutely frightening, almost demonic,” said Ross.
-They went to a clip of Chad Patton vs. Chris Jericho last week with Eric Bischoff as special referee. Then they plugged Jericho & Carlito vs. John Cena later, plus the Finale of the 2005 Raw Diva Search. They’re going to eliminate the women one at a time
[Commercial Break]
-Coach announced that Elizabeth was cut. The other two women, Ashley and Leyla, celebrated that they were the two finalists.
-Lawler wiped sweat from his brow as he shifted to talking about the Edge-Lita-Matt Hardy love triangle. Ross said the feud is a love story gone terribly wrong. They went into a video package on the situation with clips of Hardy and Lita making out, photos of them together, then more of the making out, and more photos of them together. Then more making out and more photos of them together. Then more making out and more photos. More making out, and then right into more making out. They went into clips of Edge and Lita making out. From their making out, you’d assume Edge and Lita had wilder sex. A clip was shown of Lita defending herself on Byte This. She said: “Let me entertain you from 9 to 11 and let me be in bed with whoever I want to be bed with. I have no obligation to the fans to be Matt Hardy’s girlfriend.” She makes it sound so reasonable. (Two detailed reports on that Lita interview are available in the WWE News section; you just have dig back about a month in the archives to get to it.)
[Note: The Ultimate Insiders DVD featuring my five and a half hours of interviews with Matt and Jeff Hardy – together and solo – is in stock. The first batch of orders were mailed Friday and already in the Torch VIP section people are writing about receiving their copy today. You can click on the top purple link on the Main Listing to get all the info on ordering it for only $19.95 plus S&H. Not only does it contain over five hours of interviews talking about tons of behind the scenes aspects of WWE and their rise through backyard wrestling, but there are extras including footage of their early matches (with new 2005 commentary from both analyzing the matches) and early promos, plus a full CD of Jeff Hardy’s music, and more.]
-Bischoff told Jericho and Carlito that they’re all Canadian tonight so that they will get cheered and that will throw Cena off his game. He said they’d wrap themselves in the Canadian flag and they’d love them. Jericho said he’s from Western Canada, not Montreal, and there’s a big difference. Bischoff said the fans won’t know the difference. Carlito said he’s not from anywhere near Canada. Bischoff said they’ll say he’s from Southern Canada. Jericho called him Carlito Canadian Cool. This is one of those dumb moments where Bischoff talked right in front of the camera, knowing what he was saying was being broadcast in the arena, but talking as if he was having a private conversation. It’s easy to get around this stuff and they don’t even try. It was smart to ensure Cena was cheered, not Jericho, but there was a smarter way to do it.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of “Acknowledging WWE” with Javier Machado, part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “pwtorch” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
2 — JOHN CENA vs. CARLITO & CHRIS JERICHO
Jericho faced off with Cena, but then tagged out to Carlito before making contact. Cena went into a side headlock right away. A minute in he yanked Jericho into the ring and beat on him, then clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor. He tossed Carlito over the top rope with him. They cut to a break at 2:15.
[Commercial Break]
During the break, Cena grabbed Bischoff by the lapels. Jericho then slidekicked Cena and rammed him into the security railing. Bischoff then slapped Cena just as like he did referee Chad Patton last week. Carlito then got in sustained offense on Cena inside the ring. Bischoff strutted with self-satisfaction at ringside. At 11:00 Carlito spit in the face of Cena. Cena then began to fight back against Jericho. Jericho raked Cena’s eyes to retain control. Jericho tagged Carlito back in. Carlito DDT’d Cena for a near fall. Cena made a full-fledged comeback after catching a charging Jericho with his boot. He set Jericho up for an FU, but Carlito broke it up. He then gave Carlito the FU for the win just as Jericho entered the ring with a chair. Jericho bashed Cena with a chair to the face. Cena lay KO’d and motionless on his back. Ross called it “a slobberknocker of a chairshot.” He said he couldn’t believe G.M. Bischoff condoned it.
WINNER: Cena at 14:15.
STAR RATING: **1/2 — They did a nice job keeping it exciting while also telling a story of Cena being out-numbered.
[Commercial Break]
-Lawler and Ross plugged a new WWE videogame and included footage of a computer generated match between Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan. It included Michaels giving Hogan the Sweet Chin Music and Hogan giving Michaels a legdrop. Neither was shown kicking out of the other’s finisher. There probably would have been an uproar by one or both wrestlers if that was shown.
-Coach welcomed the finalists to the ring. Then a video recap of the 2005 Diva Search aired. Oh, the memories. It seems like just yesterday that they had that obstacle course where whatshername tripped and whatshername fell out of her top. Oh, and remember when Lawler got all horny afterward? That was great! Back live, Coach announced that Ashley was the winner. She dropped to her knees out of instinct, but then quickly got up. She screamed “Oh my god” out of habit, also. She began “shaking all over,” to use Lawler’s language. Coach handed her the gigantic $250,000 cardboard check. She thanked the fans and said they rule. There was a mix of cheers and boos. Coach asked her what’s next. She said she’s doing to Summerslam. I expect Trish Stratus to have something to say to her there.
-Ross and Lawler plugged Hogan vs. Angle again as the TV main event.
[Commercial Break]
3 — EDGE (w/Lita) vs. VAL VENIS
Edge went after Val aggressively at the start. Lita got in Val’s face and taunted him. Ross said he doubts Edge’s claim that he asked Vince McMahon to rehire Matt Hardy. Val made a comeback and then rubbed his chest all the way to his privates! Edge and Lita were over as heels big-time in this match. Lots of chants throughout. Edge stopped Val with a Spear. Edge then applied his new submission hold, which Lawler described as part figure-four, part Sharpshooter. Val tapped out.
WINNER: Edge at 5:20.
STAR RATING: *1/2 — That was an intense, fast-paced, above-average five minute TV match. It’s almost as if they were trying to make it seem like they were really fighting.
-Rob Conway saw Stacy and presumed she wanted a piece of him. He said he wasn’t interested. Stacy said that’s fine since she’s already taken. Hurricane then entered and walked off with Stacy on his arm. Conway kept admiring himself in the mirror. It appears he has less bodyfat than Lex Luger at his lowest level.
[Commercial Break]
4 — ROB CONWAY vs. HURRICANE (w/Stacy Keibler)
Conway came out to a song that sounded like it was sung by Randy Newman with the chorus “Hey, look at me.” Conway went after Hurricane aggressively at the start, then applied a rear chinlock. Hurricane looked as if he was actually trying to get out of it. Did someone get upset by the UFC commercials and now the wrestlers have been told to try to make it look a little more real? The enthusiastic crowd helps. The crowd chanted during this match, too. Hard to make out what it was. Sounded like “We want Steamboat,” but I’m sure that’s not it. Conway ducked the Shining Wizard, then Conway hit the Ego Trip followed by a top rope elbow for the pin. I’ve never seen a WWE wrestler go to the top rope and look less sure of his balance than Conway. It was not Randy Savage or Shawn Michaels elbow, that’s for sure.
WINNER: Conway at 2:30.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
[Commercial Break]
-Ross, Lawler, and Coach plugged the Summerslam line-up.
-Kurt Angle’s ring intro took place.
[Commercial Break]
5 — HULK HOGAN vs. KURT ANGLE
Ross said when Hogan came out, the roof would crash in. Angle watched intently from the ring as Hogan came out to a huge ovation. A lot of fans were bowing at Hogan. The Hogan ring intro began at five minutes before the top of the hour. He could have milked the crowd for ten minutes if he wanted. Angle attacked Hogan three minutes into Hogan soaking up cheers in the ring. Hogan put his sunglasses and head bandana on Angle, then wound up and knocked him to the mat. They took it to the floor at 1:00. Angle got control at 1:45 by hitting Hogan with an elbow drop as he rolled into the ring. The announcers raved about the enthusiasm of the crowd.
Angle hit Hogan with an uppercut in the corner. The crowd loudly booed. Angle gave Hogan a back suplex for a one count. Angle chocked Hogan over the second rope. Angle settled into a chinlock at 3:30. Hogan did the finger waving to signify he was getting a surge of energy. He stood up, elbowed out of Angle’s chinlock, and then locked Angle in a sleeper. Angle back suplexed out of it. Angle yelled for Hogan to get up, then gave him an Angle Slam for a two could. That led to Hogan doing the no-sell Superman routine. I saw Hogan do that once against Hercules back in 1986. Hogan pointed, punched Angle, and gave him a big boot (although it barely got to Angle’s chest; Hogan skipped a few yoga sessions, apparently).
As Hogan went to do the legdrop, Michaels jumped into the ring and knocked Hogan to the mat. Michaels stomped the mat and teased doing a superkick, but instead stopped short, took Hogan down, and put him in the Sharpshooter. Ross screamed, “Michaels has got the sharpshooter on Hogan!” The crowd was too busy looking at the stage for a Bret Hart save to even boo. The crowd chanted, “We Want Bret! We Want Bret!” as they went off the air.
WINNER: Hogan via DQ at 6:15.
STAR RATING: * — Formula Hogan. Impressive that Hogan took some of Angle’s suplexes. Anyone who expected anything for the finish other than the Michaels run-in deserves to be disappointed. The tease of Bret Hart coming out may have distracted from the key issue of Hogan vs. Michaels, unless people think Bret is going to show up at the PPV, in which case it could help sell the match.
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