SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The Wedding: I was prepared to hate this with a passion, but…I thought it was kind of fun! Is there something wrong with me? Eh, possibly. It was the absolute madness of the crowd that started winning me over. That was the most excited The Impact Zone has been so far this year, and it was all for the culmination of a terrible storyline. Wrestling can be weird that way. It was so cheesy, and acted in such an over-the-top manner that it kind of worked in its own way. I’m also all for wrestling giving us a feel-good ending now and then. I was fearing Sutter would turn on Allie, but instead they locked in that big kiss that the crowd was begging for. For one brief segment, TNA melted my icy heart…well, until I put some more thought into how nonsensical it all was (more on that below).
The Opening Segment: I feel Cody should have stayed a face, as this promotion badly needs some likable good guys in the main event scene. However, he’s a heel everywhere else on the planet, so maybe they felt they had to follow suit. Cody provided some freshness to a product that is feeling increasingly stale, and delivered a great performance to open the show. His facial expressions alone were pretty great, and his delivery on the mic was just as good. He’s already proved many times over that WWE made a mistake in letting him go, and hopefully he has a nice, long run ahead of him in TNA.
Tyrus And Drake Reunite: These two should have never broken up in the first place, but it’s nice to see they are back together. Their split and quick reunion felt like a nonsensical Russo swerve, but at least they made the right decision in the end. Drake and Tyrus play off each other well, and seem better together than apart at the moment.
In Memoriam: TNA honoring Nicole Bass on-air when WWE didn’t bother to was a classy thing to do. George Steele showed up for a cameo in TNA in 2008 for Jay Lethal’s wedding, but Chavo, Koloff, and Bass never did. Still, the company took a few moments to honor each of them when they didn’t have to. It really was a nice gesture on their part.
The Marriage Logic: What kind of man agrees to marry a woman because he doesn’t want the actual woman he loves to get fired? Is Braxton Sutter not familiar with the pro wrestling business? Most people only last a few years in any given promotion! Besides that, Maria could have fired Allie after the wedding anyway! Then there’s still the fact that even though Laurel Van Ness is a heel, making her believe the man she loves is also in love with her is pretty cruel. Throughout the show I was wondering what Maria had over Sutter. Anything less than Allie’s life being in imminent danger wouldn’t justify him agreeing to go along with that stupid plan. I mean, if he loved her, why couldn’t they date without her working in the Impact Zone? Does neither one of them own a car? I could have given them a ride.
No Eddie or Davey Update: Impact’s best angle all year not only didn’t get any sort of follow-up this week, but I don’t think the names “Davey Richards” or “Eddie Edwards” were even spoken on TV the entire night! I’m fine with Eddie not showing up, as it puts over him being injured, but a promo from Davey would have been great. Or, just show a video recapping what played out last week and build up some anticipation for next week. A strange move all around.
Barnett Beats Bad Bones Badly: This match went under three minutes, but it should have been under 30 seconds. Seriously. Barnett should have gone in and dismantled Bad Bones, and then pointed at Bobby Lashley and said “You’re NEXT!”…wait, that’s Goldberg’s thing. Still, it should have been a complete squash. The announcers also failed to build Barnett up as someone special, and he ended up feeling like some guy who walked in off the street. A badly booked match that completely undercut the MMA star as a big deal.
The Hardy’s Latest Trip: I like the star power that The Hardys bring to Impact, and I’m never bored by what they’re doing, but I don’t find myself enjoying it much these days. I just don’t get the concept of showing four minutes worth of a match with painfully generic music, and then the video editors calling it a day. Either give us a full match, or show a brief clip of it and move on. What they’re doing now makes for awkward television, and it seems it’s about 10% as interesting as it should be.
Josh Says Things: I went after Josh Matthews here last week, but he gets another big miss due to how inexplicably bad he can be at his job. Earl Hebner got punched in the face by Eli Drake, and this is what Matthews said in response ,“Well, the man is a senior citizen. He’s a Hall of Famer.” What the hell does that have to do with anything? He’s just saying words and not reacting to what happened! If you were out in public and your mailman got punched in the face would you say “Well, he is a mailman, I think he’s about 45,” and then move on with your day? This wasn’t Josh playing into his heel character, either. He genuinely just didn’t seem to know how to react to an innocent man being knocked out by a professional athlete. Just ridiculously terrible. Also terrible was that Hebner later reffed another match in the show. Not even a 67-year-old ref can sell a punch for 15 minutes? Drake did something deplorable, and not one single person cared. I guess Pope did for about four seconds, but that’s it. I don’t want to resort to a cliche, but this isn’t rocket science!
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S ARTICLE: IMPACT HITS & MISSES 2/16: Perhaps the worst episode ever highlighted by Richards-Edwards angle, plus what’s going on with Josh Matthews?