SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
RISING STAR OF THE WEEK: Kevin Owens
Remember the days when body types like Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe wouldn’t dare be seen on a WWE television unless they were greased up, dancing, and wearing a banana hammock (hello, Chris DeJoseph)? Well, let me say, they look much better, badder, and main event when wearing a suit and not taking BS from anybody. After last week’s “Soiree of Backstabbing,” the heel Kevin Owens is finding the brightest bad guy light he can stand in and is looking credible doing it. It will really say something and help his apparent WrestleMania feud with Jericho if he doesn’t get squashed by Goldberg at Fastlane, and I at least hope that happens. What would totally get my vote if I were to don the fantasy booking cap that Bruce Mitchell oh so loves? Lesnar screws Goldberg out of his Universal Title win and Kevin Owens takes his suit, his attitude, and his title to Houston against his former best friend.
Sheamus: Hold on while I check for blood coming out of my ears. I would like to think Enzo and I don’t have some weird telekinesis going on where I feel his pain, but man, I couldn’t have been any more appreciative of a Brogue Kick than the one Sheamus gave to him on Monday and that Los Angeles crowd seemed to share my sentiments. This is so strange considering I’ve been an Enzyte (feel free to use) since his clean-shaven solo days in NXT and a big “Shea”mer (negative connotation nickname, feel free to also use) since he limber-tailed away from the Wade Barrett led Nexus some six or so odd years ago, but in WWE’s mad world of mishaps, crazy reactions like this can occur. So let me take a deep breath before writing the following… “Thank you Sheamus.”
The Rock: Listen, I know The Rock’s “star” really can’t rise any higher, but his impromptu Facetime attempt with C.M. Punk after Raw went off the air gave “The People’s Champ” some extra street cred with the “indy crowd” (if that term still applies for Punk fans). Anytime a wrestler, whether he/she is a full-time roster member or Hollywood’s biggest actor, can ruffle some McMahon feathers then I think it deserves some kind of props on here.
FADING STAR OF THE WEEK: Bayley
If this column has any signs of even-stevens booking, Bayley would be that bug zapper that those signs get drawn to. She’s been on both sides of this column week in and out, and unfortunately after this past Monday, I think this is the side she’ll be seeing most of for the foreseeable future. Bayley as a wrestler (and as a person) is someone that has made wrestling tons of more fun to watch, but just like Enzo Amore (and countless others to be honest) her character gets ruined by Vince “not getting it”. She has so much potential to make money for them (and influence a younger demographic in a positive way), but this is what happens when you have a 70-year-old muscle enthusiast who lives in a bubble run things. Having evil Stephanie play on the side of the story where it would be “unfavorable” for Bayley to relinquish her title (when that’s exactly what her character would and should be doing) is one of the biggest mindf–ks I’ve ever seen WWE do, and really, that’s saying something.
Enzo Amore: All I have to say is Enzo’s run of obnoxious, stupid, and cowardly antics better be indications of a sloppily-orchestrated heel turn and not just a complete implosion of a character we’re supposed to like. Again, it’s so unsettling to say, “Thank you Sheamus”, but damn it, “thank you Sheamus.”
John Cena: Okay, Cena’s fine. There’s really nothing to be seen here, but somebody has to take the fall for that “eliminated elimination” on Tuesday. If I hear the phrase “it’s no disqualification” one more time from a WWE commentator, heel or face, I’m going to go “Office Space” on the WWE’s printer.
Hey, I forget to do this every week, but follow me on Twitter @DominicDeAngelo. Make me a “Rising Star” over there, will ya, eh? Alright, I’m done.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S ARTICLE: RISING STAR & FADING STAR OF THE WEEK 2/17: Enzo, Owens, Samoa Joe, Emmalina/Emma, Sami, Cesaro