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Roman Reigns is one of the most divisive and talked about WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him their number one star – thus far to no avail. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-meter.
Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter
Before I begin in proper, is there any chance that the Undertaker is the heel in this feud? I mean, hear me out. Roman Reigns is a hero. Meanwhile, Undertaker once tried to embalm someone while they were merely unconscious. Roman grants wishes. The Undertaker set his own house on fire with his parents and younger brother inside. Roman Reigns does the superman punch. The Undertaker kicks Brock Lesnar in the balls just to slow the guy down. Is the Undertaker the heel here?
No? Okay. Fair enough. Glad we got that sorted out.
Last night marked Roman Reigns seventh match with Braun Strowman since Fast Lane. Most of them have admittedly been won by DQ but, you know, bring on the Undertaker. That’s before mentioning all the run ins between the 2. It’s WWE’s new formula: get a big guy over by having him repeatedly job to Roman Reigns. Let’s face it, being in a ring with Roman Reigns at all is proof of prodigious talent. Sigh. Yes, I just typed sign instead of actually sighing but let’s face it, it’s Roman Freaking Reigns (copyright Seth Freaking Rollins).
Raw opens with great emotion, as an authority cuts loose an aging thorn in their side to pick up a plucky underdog in his place but Roman Reigns doesn’t feature, so it’s not important.
Our first glimpse of the magnificence that is Roman Reigns comes deep into the second hour of Monday Night Raw. He appears in flashback getting beaten up by Braun Strowman. Cutting away to a Roman Reigns beat down has become a popular pastime in WWE recently.
Second time? In something that I like to call false advertising. “A special look at Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg next” they say. I’m paraphrasing. Either way, they cut to a break and when they come back, hey, there’s Roman Reigns and Shawn Michaels. What a gotcha moment. I was totally convinced to watch my eternal hero instead of BrockBerg.
I might not have come back after that break either way, let’s be honest. After Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho why else tune in except to see if Xavier Woods appears, am I right?
This is followed up by Roman Reigns actually appearing live. Who saw this coming? Reigns appears in a backstage interview, interrupting while he flexes menacingly at a wall. Reigns likes to picture Undertaker laid on his back. Nice. He cuts a standard monster promo, very convincingly. Like, very convincingly. I got goosebumps. Thing is, they book him to back it up so why the hell not?
It’s main event time, baby! Strowman gets a pop for offering to destroy Roman. Roman, naturally, gets sickening boos upon walking into the arena. I’m glad they were smart enough to stop him walking down through the crowd last Wrestlemania. It was the right move.
Braun Strowman fights this match essentially as proxy for The Undertaker, just like Mick Foley has been proxy for Seth Rollins. Someone has to be there to hype the match. Roman vs. Taker is pushed as a big first time ever match, meaning that when Reigns wins it’s also going to be hyped as Roman Reigns has just made history. #wwelogic, am I right?
A match happens. Saw it last month. Not much different. Good then, but the crowd crapped all over it. Good now, and the crowd are crapping all over it. I don’t know what ‘lambeasted’ means but I don’t think I’d recover quite as well as the gorgeous hunk of a man that Roman Reigns is. Reigns is a demi-god we all want to love, as you know.
Just as Reigns is looking like winning, a wild Undertaker appears in the middle of the ring, causing the WWE crowd to actually enjoy itself. Wild, I know. Despite having a match in 2 weeks with Roman, Undertaker decides that he’d rather bully a downed Braun Strowman. This opens him up to a spear out of nowhere. Sort of from behind to be honest.
Wait a minute. Is Roman Reigns the baddy?
– Getting beaten up in promo
– A backstage interviewer
– Braun Strowman, again
– The Undertaker
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Got cursed by the Undertaker for doing it though.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S ARTICLE: MONDAY NIGHT REIGNS-O-METER #10: Tracking Roman Reigns’s ability to beat the odds and come out on top