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Roman Reigns is one of the most divisive and talked about WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him their number one star – thus far to no avail. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter.
Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter – Fast Lane Omnibus
One again, this one isn’t likely to be long.
So woe betide our brave, heroic Roman Reigns. It’s been rough for him. Beaten up. Mauled. Destroyed. Demolished. Abolished. Polished. Flipped in an ambulance-olished. Did I say demolished? I’m two lines in and I’m already losing track of my point here. He got beat up.
Roman Reigns has not been seen for weeks and yet, brave heroic Roman of the jet black beard walked down to the ring at Payback. He came through pain, horror and anguish. He came after the House of Horrors match, when most people just wanted to go home before the sun went down and forget anything had ever happened. Through all the destruction, Roman Reigns came. He came hard. He wrapped himself up as thick as possible and he came.
For those of you who don’t know, Roman got ever so slightly eaten alive. Just a tiny bit torn asunder. The Strowman machine keeps on keeping on. Meanwhile, a battered Roman went to the back, spitting up blood on a wall and generally looking like a man who knows that he can’t win.
I would imagine this is how McMahon feels every time he watches a Roman Reigns match.
You know, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one does coughing and choking like Roman. Forgotten art of heavy selling, I tell you. Not sure what I mean? Oh yeah, well Braun wasn’t done.
A lot of Monday Night Raw was dedicated to Roman Strowman, which is as fun a phrase to say as it sounds. Updates were promised, highlights were shown. Kurt Angle came out to the ring to make a proper address and then there was a distraction in the form of Bray Wyatt.
Great balls of fire, eh? Get well soon, Roman. Who else but you can stop Strowman, and Wyatt, and in the long term Lesnar? And Triple H? And Balor? And A.J. Styles? And Samoa Joe? And Damien Mizdow? And Daniel Bryan? Who? Who? Who?
– Braun Strowman
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Roman was disrelished? Ah, screw it, Roman ripped a hole in space time with his cute and woundedness.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S COLUMN: MONDAY NIGHT REIGNS-O-METER #15: Tracking Roman Reigns’s ability to beat the odds and come out on top