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FANN’S BEYOND WRESTLING “UNCHARTED TERRITORY’ REPORT
JUNE 19, 2019
THE WHITE EAGLE
AIRED LIVE ON INDEPENDENTWRESTLING.TV AND FITE TV
Announcers: Paul Crockett and Sidney Bakabella
This week the show was at a new location (White Eagle) and the first 17 minutes were delayed to streamers on IW.TV. My report may be a little disjointed, as I’ll be reviewing from the time the show started for me, then bouncing back.
(1) Chris Dickinson vs. Shane Mercer
Dickinson got the win with a Memphis-style piledriver.
WINNER: Chris Dickinson in : by pinfall ()
(Fann’s Analysis: I was unable to watch the match due to stream issues, but will try to update this review when I can.)
Post match, Dickinson asked the crowd to give Mercer a round of applause, which they obliged, and added a “please come back” for good measure. Dickinson also challenged Mercer to focus more on the in-ring and less on the posing. Dirty Daddy then declared next week he would take on Matthew Justice, who would either “leave with my right foot up his a— or my left foot, either way you’re leaving with my foot up your a—”
(2) Green Ant (of The Colony) & Razorhawk 2000 vs. The Dirtiest Players in the Game (Sonny Defarge & Cornelius Crummels (contested under Lucha rules)
This was a CHIKARA showcase match. Defarge opened the match with a sneak attack on Green Ant, who then used some high flying reversals to get back into the fight. Razorhawk then tagged in and continued the assault, until Defarge sneezed in Razorhawk’s face to distract him.
Defarge and Crummels had a few nice tag moves, notably an over-the-shoulder roll, into an Irish whip and backdrop combo onto Green Ant. Before Razorhawk could help his partner, the Dirtiest players drop him with an Unprettier and then nailed a super tandem monkey flip onto Green Ant for a near fall. Razorhawk made it back in and to the top rope, but was distracted by the Cajun Crawdad. That opened the door for Crummels to low blow Razorhawk for the pin.
WINNERS: The Dirtiest Players in the Game in 5:45 by pinfall (**)
Post match, Thief Ant attempted to save his friends, but the dastardly trio beat down all three competitors and left arms aloft.
(Fann’s Analysis: Solid introduction of the Chikara teams. Dirtiest Players in the Game are just a nasty little team and I thought the run in at the end was confusing at first, but the announcers were great in setting the stage.)
(3) Solo Darling (with Officer Magnum) vs JXT
During his introduction, JXT’s weight was “over 4300 Instagram followers” so I was already excited for wherever this match was going. Solo had Officer Magnum the Dog with her, so the fans are rowdy. It was mentioned that JXT had been wrestling since he was a teen and was in his early 20s. JXT started match by getting onto his knees to accentuate the height difference. That plan was not wise, as Solo Darling dropped him with kicks. Eventually JXT understood he was in for a fight and chopped Solo in the corner. Solo returned control and hit a nasty hand-held hurricanrana.
Solo attempted a bulldog from the apron to the floor on JXT, but JXT caught her and dropped her on her back onto said apron, and received a two count. Disgusted, JXT fish hooked Solo, then hit a Savio-Vega style side kick for another quick two count. With the match in hand, JXT went to the top rope and preened, which gave Darling the time to move out of the way. Solo Darling then hit a DVD onto the apron, which led to a “Super human” chant from the crowd. JXT tried a low blow, but Solo caught his hand with her legs, and peppered the Australian with kicks to the head and a Honey Steamer twice in a row, with a third countered by JXT.
JXT used the precarious position and connected with a top rope frankensteiner. Solo Darling popped up however, and hit a spear onto JXT for a long two count. Both competitors on their knees fired punch for punch, until a JXT jumping knee dropped Darling. JXT went for another knee, but Darling dropped a fisherman driver for a two count. JXT hit his JX-plex, and a ReTweet (Pedigree) only got a two count to the shock of JXT.
JXT tried another top rope move, but Solo countered on the way down and hit the Sharp Stinger for the tap out
WINNER: Solo Darling in 8:31 by submission (**)
(Fann’s Analysis: Solo Darling not only had the entire crowd behind her, but the way that JXT played straight heel added to her comeback. With the exception of the last spot prior to the Sharp Stinger, it was a clean solid match.)
Next week, it was announced that Shotzi Blackheart would debut in Beyond Wrestling against Solo Darling.
(4) Bear Country (Bear Bronson & Bear Beefcake) vs. Team Tremendous (Detectives Dan Barry & Bill Carr)
Tournament for Tomorrow 3 winners Team Tremendous returned after a long hiatus to face off with one of the bright young teams of Beyond in Bear Country. The ring had been reinforced for this hoss fight. Bear Beefcake and Bill Carr started the match with a big dude power brawl, with both men rocked by the others’ forearm. Dan Barry looked on in horror as these ginormous men continued their Kaiju war in the middle of the ring. The crowd went unglued as a Beefcake leapfrog started an athletic segment between the super heavyweights – “we went from Frye-Akiyama to Ospreay-Ricochet” was a great line by Paul Crockett after both men tagged out.
With Barry now in the ring, he and Bear Bronson went with dropkicks and elbows, but both men moved out of the way. An Irish whip lead to Barry suicide dive, and then Bronson followed suit. Barry recovered and hit an Asai moonsault onto everyone. Carr noticed everyone else was down, and then hit a somersault senton to everyone on the floor to the amazement of the crowd, announcers, and your humble reviewer. With Beefcake down, Barry hit a frog splash for a two count.
Carr was then got in, but was dropped by Bronson with a Samoan drop. Beefcake then hit a powerbomb onto Barry, but couldn’t get the pin due to Beefcake being thrown by Carr into the pair. We returned back to the Carr and Beefcake – with Carr nailing a bossman slam, but couldn’t get a pin because Bronson used Barry in a TTD to break them up.
After an assisted deadlift German suplex murdered Barry, Carr was subjected to the Bear Country Cannonball, then their Elevator drop for the win.
WINNER: Bear Country in 10:00 by pinfall (***1/2)
(Fann’s Analysis: After their loss last week to Kingston and Starr, this match was a great bounce back. I really loved how hard these four went at each other, and the post match will be a talking point leading into Americanrana ’19.)
Post match, Team Tremendous’ record of beating teams like the Young Buck was focused on to add to the Bear Country “ace” status, which the fans showed love to the veteran tag team. However, Dan Barry then slapped Bill Carr in the face, and the Bear Country lads entered the ring to break up the fighting vets. The announcers then said The Rock and Roll Express would be wrestling at Americanrana, and during that announcement, Team Tremendous jumped Bear Country, and showed the entire argument was a ruse.
The show then cut to a pre-tape earlier with Cam Zagami in the day with Thomas Santell’s next opponent for the Discovery Gauntlet Travis Huckabee.
(5) Richard Holliday vs. Josh Briggs
The show was ground to a halt until Holliday received silence from the fans to allow him to talk. The music producer was a kind soul, and instead played Josh Briggs’ music, who headed to the ring. Holliday was dared by Briggs to go for Briggs’ bad leg, and instead Holliday was tossed hither and yon via biels by Briggs. Briggs then followed up with several big boots and a gutbuster for a near fall.
Holliday got a slap and his 2008 suplex for a near fall, with Briggs now disoriented Holliday thought he could go for the kill. Instead, Briggs hit another big boot, and when he attempted a second consecutive boot, Holliday caught him and turned it into a powerbomb for a 2 count.
The finish came as Holliday tried a kick to the injured leg, which Briggs responded “didn’t f—-ing hurt” and hit a chokebomb for the win.
WINNER: Josh Briggs in 5:12 by pinfall (**)
(Fann’s Analysis: Holliday really thought he had this one, but Briggs was playing possum, and showed that the injured leg is no longer a liability. Briggs is straight forward, as well as Holliday, so this was a good solid match.)
(6) “The Retrosexual AG” Anthony Greene & The Platinum Hunnies (Angel Sinclair & Ava Everett) vs. Ken Doane & The Top Dogs (Skylar & Davienne) – tag team tornado rules
Last week’s heinous knockout of Angel Sinclair by Doane was highlighted as the AG and the Hunnies entered the ring. Greene and Doane kicked it off in the ring, and after a few exchanges, Doane dumped Greene to the outside. With Greene down, Ava Everett entered the ring – and was put in some inappropriate positions by Doane, until she locked in a figure four on Doane. Davienne and Skylar pulled Doane to safety. That was short lived, as AG then hit the floor. In ring, the Platinum Hunnies hit tandem X-factors on Davienne and Skylar. With the match back in order, the Top Dogs established control on Sinclair. Doane entered the ring to help finish the job, but Everett tagged in and hit a twisting neckbreaker on Davienne that looked sick. Doane then was turned around and submitted to the same compromising position, with AG out of nowhere with a superkick and helped her to a two count.
Green then picked up Everett and launched her at the Top Dogs for a double dropkick. The Top Dogs crotched AG before he could hit Doane, which left Angel Sinclair alone with Doane again. Before he could slam Sinclair however, Everett helped her leverage Doane into a three count.
WINNER: Angel Sinclair over Ken Doane in 8:58 by pinfall (***)
(Fann’s Analysis: Watching the six person I was nervous at first with the size difference between Doane and the Hunnies. The creativity of getting him out of the ring for most of the match was smart, but Beyond has to be careful with the bending over of the ladies and those sorts of spots with Doane because it can get sickening quick. Overall it was a good match and I really liked the tandem Hunnies pin finish.)
Deena Ray was backstage with the next challenger for the Discovery Gauntlet, who declared “I’m not an underdog, I’m the top f—-ing dog”.
(7) “The Ovaltine Dream” Thomas Santell vs. Christian Casanova -Discovery Gauntlet match
Santell’s record – 7-0 – was the big topic of the pre-match chat. Casanova attempted to outwrestle and outmaneuver the Ovaltine Dream, but Santell was quick to counter and tried for the Sugar Free Hold. Casanova breaks out, but ate a back elbow. Santell hit a float over suplex, and took the game to the ground to slowly roll and stretch Casanova.
With Santell in the ropes, Casanova hit a kick to the face and dropped Santell onto the apron. With the veteran on the ground, instead of pressing of the issue, Casanova preened to the crowd. A snap suplex with a float-over only got a one count for Casanova. An axe-kick by Casanova was countered into a Regal Plex for a two count, which was then transitioned into a crossface attempt. Another axe kick attempt hit and Casanova got a 2.9 count to the worry of the crowd.
Casanova sprang off the top rope with a frog splash for a two count, injured himself in the process and attempted a second one with no one home. Santell drilled a brainbuster for a two count, then fought into a deadlift German suplex. Casanova hit his “Dirty Diana” for a 2.9 and was shocked that Santell kicked out. Santell then chopped Casanova into oblivion in the corner and hit a top rope frankensteiner. Casanova wasn’t to be outdone and hit a code breaker to drop both men to the mat.
Santell locked in the Sugar Free Hold and Cam Zagami pulled Casanova to the ropes. While Santell argued with Zagami, Casanova snuck behind to roll Santell up for the win. Santell is no longer in the Discovery Gauntlet.
WINNER: Christian Casanova in 10:04 by pinfall (***)
Post match, Zagami removed the interviewer from the ring to interview Christian Casanova, calling her “toots”. Santell was an angry mess, yelling “f— you” to Zagami and being held back by Beyond officials.
(Fann’s Analysis: It finally happened. I’m shocked, I’m angry, but I will accept it. Casanova seemed to be a solid wrestler that is making his way in the area, so hopefully he can carry the Gauntlet. Santell and Zagami will be a match I hope is at Americanrana.)
Next week on Beyond, Matthew Justice vs. Dickinson, Blackheart vs. Solo Darling, Nick Gage vs. Richard Holliday, John Silver vs. Chuck O’Neil, and Kris Statlander returns against Josh Briggs.
(8) The Gentlemen’s Club (Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy) vs. Still Life with Apricots and Pears & Blank
Still Life with Apricots and Pears (now shortened for these reviews as Still Life)’s pronoun is they, which I will try to use throughout this match. Chuck Taylor wore a “Dustin sucks eggs” shirt. Cassidy then let the ring announcer know it will be a no DQ match.
Blank tossed the glasses of Orange Cassidy into the crowd, and then put the glasses onto his own face. Cassidy took his hands out of his pockets, and revealed gloves similar to Blank’s. Orange Cassidy then tossed the glove on the floor. Blank unzipped his mask to scream at Orange Cassidy, who nonchalantly zipped the mask closed. Blank was dumped outside and Still Life entered the ring, and dumped Orange Cassidy. Chuck Taylor entered and was put into an abdominal stretch. Blank added to the “art” and lined up a blinded Taylor with Cassidy, who then hip tossed his own parter. Beyond’s referee then was put into the exhibit, and accidentally tossed Cassidy.
Orange Cassidy went into his “flurry” and Still Life broke up the assault with a running bulldog. Still Life then locked Taylor’s arms in a crucifix and they attempted a pin while Taylor reacted in horror. Taylor regained control with a Sole Food, and Cassidy received the hot tag, hit a double frankensteiner. Taylor then got into the ring for a dive to the outside, but Cassidy got in his way to hit a springboard somersault plancha.
Cassidy called for a 3-D, but when Taylor got him up, Cassidy didn’t hit his part of the finisher. This then repeated with the Hart Attack (at .4 speed). Blank at this point was angry, and countered a Canadian Destroyer with an attempt on the top rope. Taylor set up for a Doomsday Device that was comically missed.
After an orange juice mist by Cassidy, Still Life ate the Canadian Destroyer and the three count was academic.
WINNER: Orange Cassidy over Still Life in 10:43 by pinfall (***)
Post match Chuck O’Neil entered the ring and choked out Orange Cassidy. Wheeler Yuta hit the ring to take out O’Neil. O’Neil laughed at Yuta as both men went to the back. Celebrating in the ring, Cassidy then ate a cutter from Logan Easton Leroux, which prompted a “who are you” chant from the crowd. Leroux then cut a promo on Cassidy and threw his hat in for an IWTV title.
(Fann’s Analysis: This match was a study in how you can make a comedy match the main event, but still have a hard hitting affair. I want to see more of Still Life and Blank, as I think they would bring a lot to the tag division. Post match was a lot, but got a lot of stories moving at once.)
Overall thoughts (8.5): The crowd live looked pretty good, the tech issues weren’t fatal, and the matches as always were good to great. I really liked the heat of the Santell loss, and the tag match between Bear Country and Team Tremendous was a HOSSFIGHT. Still Life and Blank vs. The Gentlemen’s Club main event was wacky, but really really good.
12 weeks in, the only streak standing is 12 solid Beyond episodes. Pour one out for my dude the Ovaltine Dream.