SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
WWE 205 LIVE
JANUARY 10, 2017
BATON ROUGE, LA. AT RAISING CANE’S RIVER CENTER
REPORT BY JOEY GALIZIA (@RamJam89), PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Announcers: Mauro Ranallo, Corey Graves, Austin Aries
Joey G here. LET’S DO THIS.
Opening clips highlight the love triangle between Noam Dar, Cedric Alexander, and Alicia Fox. (Need I remind you that Noam Dar is creepier than our soon to be president) We are reminded that there has been a hint of dissension between Alicia and Cedric, and Noam has been there before to get Alicia out of harms way. Highlight ends with Alicia kissing Dar, and then throwing him SHADDDDE. (This happened on Raw last night)
CUE “THIS IS WAR” AND WE ARE OFF!
Mauro welcomes us to Cajun country. Cedric Alexander’s music hits. Guess we are going to get this over with right at the top. (Fine by me) Corey tells Ranalo that he met a voodoo priest in New Orleans and he’ll pass her number along.
Noam comes out and gives his signature “ALICCIAAAAA FOXXXX.” He tells her that his kissing skills is why he is called The Scottish-Super Nova, and now he’s going to beat up Cedric. (Not as fun to say as John Cena)
Dar tries to start things off with a handshake. YEAH OKAY PAL.
(1) Cedric Alexander vs. Noam Dar
Tie up. Cedric pushes Dar into the corner. Alexander lands the first blow with multiple forearms and a knife edged chop. He then rocks Noam with a VICIOUS elbow.
Dar retreats to the outside but Cedric is right behind him and takes him down with more chops. (PISSED OFF CEDRIC IS AWESOME)
Back in the ring Alexander hits a drop-kick for a two-count. Cedric is in full control. He goes for a handspring but Noam catches him with a sternum kick and goes for a cover but only gets a two.
Dar in control now starts working the arm. He hyper-extends Cedric’s elbow which looks brutal and Cedric squeals in pain. Alexander attempts a comeback but Dar surprises him with a European uppercut that nets him another two count. He transitions into a straight-jacket chokehold to keep Cedric down. Cedric is able to escape but the damage done to his arms keeps him from taking advantage.
AA makes a good point that Dar has been entirely focused on Alexander and barely acknowledged Alicia since his opening promo. Noam continues to hold down Cedric with a wrist-lock. Mauro asks Aries what the key is to a good wrist-lock. AA responds by saying that he would jam his thumb into Cedric’s eye. Corey agrees. (These guys are $$$$)
Cedric finally gains some momentum and hits Noam with a rolling back-elbow that echoes throughout the crowd. He goes for a spring-board maneuver but Dar catches him in an arm-bar right in the center! Cedric is able to get to the ropes to break the hold but Noam continues his pursuit and smashes Alexander’s arm off the steel steps (and right in front of Alicia). Noam traps Cedric’s arm in the steps and charges but Alicia steps in front to stop him. They bicker. Meanwhile Alexander escapes and kills Noam with a catapult dropkick through the ropes. Cedric and Alicia bicker for a bit before Cedric hits a spring-board clothesline. Alexander goes for the lumbar-check but his arms are too weak. Noam whips him into the ropes and Cedric counters with a handspring enziguri for a CLOSE two-count.
Alexander goes for a powerbomb but Dar rolls him up for two! As Cedric goes up to the top Noam pulls a leg out dropping Cedric right on the jewels but Cedric is able to hit an elbow. He attempts a moonsault. ALICIA PULLS NOAM OUT OF THE WAY.
Cedric is hurt, and Noam takes him out with a running enziguri for the victory.
WINNER: Noam Dar wins by pinfallat 12:31.
Alicia seems just as perplexed as the fans do for helping Noam. Cedric gives Alicia a broken stare. Dar goes for a kiss but Alicia Fox slaps him hard. He smiles because creeper. As Alexander passes Fox she chases after him.
Graves hypes the return of the cruiserweight champ Rich Swann as he prepares to face off against Tony Nese.
Cutaway to a promo package for Akira Tozawa. Kalisto has the pleasure to narrate Tozawa’s video with spliced in clips from Akira’s dominance in the CWC.
Commercial for Talking Smack. Mojo Rawley will be on it which means you can skip it.
We’re back and “I’M A MAN WITH A PLAN.” Sorry, that’s Kendrick’s theme. Brian Kendrick just came out.
Cut to clips of last weeks 205 and Tajiri’s premiere. After his match Kendrick came out to shake Tajiri’s hand but he ate a face full of green mist for his troubles.
Back in the ring Brian has a mic. He says he though Tajiri and he were friends. He calls Tajiri a sneaky snake and a snakey sneak? (Something like that) He promises that he’ll make Tajiri choke on that mist. He then addresses his opponent for the night Sean Maluta. He says that he respects Maluta, but if Sean can’t handle Tajiri, he won’t last thirty seconds against THE BRIAN KENDRICK.
Oh….. Maluta’s already out (jobber style) and we prepare for our second match.
Handshake…well that’s nice.
(2) Brian Kendrick vs. Sean Maluta
Kendrick hits a knee but Sean rolls up Brian for a two count. Kendrick hits another knee but Maluta catches him for another two count and then a neckbreaker.
AA says Maluta is a great competitor, but Brian Kendrick is a veteran so he knows what he’s doing. Maluta meanwhile takes out Brian with a somersault senton on the outside.
Back in the ring Maluta gets another two count before Brian regains control with a straight boot to the face for another two. Kendrick locks in a cobra clutch to hold Sean down. Crowd cheers him back into it and Maluta escapes a powerslam and hits an inverted DDT. He goes for a rolling thunder but Brian moves. Kendrick charges him but gets surprised with a super-kick and goes for a cover but only gets a two.
Sean then attempts the three amigos, but on the second one he drops Kendrick into a sit-out gordbuster. Maluta then hits a shining wizard but only gets another two. He goes to the top for a frog splash but Brian lifts his knees and transitions into a cradle. Only gets a two-count but immediately Kendrick locks on the Captains Hook (Bully Choke Goddammit) and Maluta taps out.
WINNER: Brian Kendrick wins by submission at 4;37.
As soon as the match ends AA says the match was only 29 and a half seconds making Kendrick a prophet.
Backstage Alicia and Cedric are arguing. Cedric says that what she did was not an accident. Fox says that she wants to be with Cedric, but Alexander says that they are done. He calls Noam Dar a pervert, and says that she can be with him because they deserve each other. She FREAKS out and screams “no one breaks up with me.” (It should be noted that she screamed so loud that the microphones almost went out)
Commercial for the UK tournament which is this weekend! (Just so you know, there’s a guy in it called Wolfgang and I’m cheering for him just based on name)
Mauro hypes the tournament as we return.
Jack Gallagher’s music hits (YAYYY) as he approaches the ring in some EXTRAORDINARY attire.
Cut to last nights Raw. Gallagher offered his nemesis Ariya Daivari an olive branch and asked him to meet him on 205 in parlee’. (See Pirates of the Caribbean if you don’t know what this means)
Graves tells Mauro that he has no idea what a parlee’ is and says he needs to brush up on his pirates code. (TOLD YA) Mauro says it’s another word for contract signing? Corey and AA then start berating him for his lack of pirate etiquette.
Ariya comes out and joins Jack in the ring. They are around a table so maybe Mauro was right?
Jack says they have been playing “silly boogers” for far too long. Jack believes it is time for their feud to come to an end. Daivari says that he is not a gentlemen. He doesn’t like to fight properly, because people who do fight properly get stomped…by him. Ariya then asks Jack to admit his surrender.
Jack says he didn’t come to surrender and then calls Daivair a scoundrel. He has besmirched Jack’s honor and that WILL NOT STAND. Ariya says he has a family name to live up to. He will not rest until Jack is a smear on his boots. Jack says sign the contract, and that can happen. IT’S AN “I FORFEIT” MATCH.
Ariya asks what that is? Jack explains that it’s like an “I quit” match: no DQ, no count-outs, no pinfalls. Whoever says I forfeit, is the loser of their quarrel. Daivari says he looks forward to making Gallagher say it. He signs, and then throws Jack’s prized umbrella. Jack doesn’t like that and removes his jacket and unbuttons his shirt. He then takes the mic and says he hopes the queen is not watching and attacks! It takes a few refs to break them up.
Mauro says he’s surprised at Jack’s viciousness. Corey says of course, they hate each other.
Cut to an ad for NXT. Oh boy, they’re hyping the rematch between the Revival and DIY for the tag-team belts. (And there go my pants) Oh yeah and a Royal Rumble ad.
Back from break and Graves reminds us that next week on SD Live will be another Women’s title match between Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss. This time…in a cage.
Rich Swann comes out and he has a SWEET white coat on.
We see clips from last nights Raw and Neville’s victory over Lince Dorado. Rich Swann came out and the two exchanged blows which Rich got the better of.
The premiere athlete makes his entrance and we get ready for our main event!
AA says that Nese is like a better looking Neville.
Honorary handshake and we’re off.
(3) Rich Swann vs. Tony Nese
AA wonders if we are going to see the fun Swann, or the one who viciously attacked Neville on Raw.
The two start with a tie-up. Nese takes advantage with a headlock and steam rolls Swann with a shoulder bump. Back and forth and Rich hits Nese with a dropkick that sends Tony to the outside.
Swann gets pulled out by Nese and then thrown into the barricade on his stomach. He throws Rich back in the ring and goes for a cover but Rich kicks out at two. Nese transitions into a body-scissor targeting the ribs.
Tony puts Swann on the top rope and hits a running punt kick to the body then catches Rich and lays him out with a gut-buster. (Man that was cool. Nese is great) He only gets a two-count though.
Tony whips Swann into the turnbuckle sternum first and he’s hurt. Mauro says that Swann just got cleared to return but he may be hurt again. Graves says he should now be UNCLEARED. Swann does fight back though and nails Tony with some stiff strikes. Nese uses his quickness to take advantage but misses his spring-board moonsault. Corey mentions that Tony traveled nearly half the ring with his moonsault, but AA is right there to say that he could travel 3/5ths of the ring if necessary. (Never change guys)
Swann takes control with some clotheslines and a top-rope frankensteiner which nets a two-count. He goes for the tiger bomb but Nese counters with a series of kicks and tops it off with a double-stomp to the injured ribs. He goes for another cover but Swann kicks-out. Mauro says Rich’s greatest attribute is his heart.
Rich regains control and hits the tiger-bomb but only gets a two. Nese gets back to his feet, but Rich hits his spinning-back kick for the victory.
WINNER: Rich Swann wins by pinfall at 6:47.
The commentary team praise Swann’s ability to fight back. Rich grabs a mic, and calls out Neville. He calls Neville a gargoyle, says that he is the king since he is champ. This brings out Neville (OH GOD EVERYBODY HIDE)
Neville says that after all the beatings he’s handed out, 205 is his show.
Swann lays his belt down and says he couldn’t hear what Neville said because not everyone has ears like dumbo. (This gets boos…interesting)
Rich says if Neville wants to step-up, he will get dealt with like he did on Raw. Neville says that he’s a typical American. He will not step in the ring until he gets a shot at the title. Swann says to name the time and the place, because no matter when, Neville CAN’T HANDLE THIS.
Neville says that he will officially become the KING…at the Royal Rumble. Swann holds the belt and the two have a staredown to close the show.
JG FINAL ANALYSIS: B-minus. I don’t usually give grades, but that’s why you keep coming back because UNPREDICTABILITY. Great advancement on nearly four storylines which for an hour wrestling show they deserve plenty of accolades because that’s some 2014 NXT vibes of storytelling. Gallagher and Daivari’s chemistry has only grown stronger and I expect the two to deliver in the end. The break-up of Cedric and Alicia should hopefully give Alexander the opportunity to start shining on his own. He certainly showed improvement in terms of ring work and once he is given some material that isn’t “love triangle” related he should really excel. Kendrick cut a nice promo and pitting him against Tajiri sounds like fun to me. Swann and Nese delivered a nice-main event highlighting Tony’s incredible agility and Rich’s ability to fight back. He’s going to need it when he faces off against Neville. Still not a fan of Neville being unhappy because of AMERICA or what not, but it’s something I can look past because he’s been hot fire in every other category. Also it’s smart for them to announce their Rumble match now, because now they can give it a long proper build, which is something the division has been lacking. I know I say this each week, but the best part of this show is the commentary team. In a perfect alternate universe, Corey Graves and Austin Aries are a dominant tag-team, because their color-commentary is a constant consistent joy. Having the best play-by-play man in Mauro obviously helps too.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEK’S REPORT: 1/3 WWE “205 Live” Review: Tajiri returns, Jack Gallagher wrestles, Perkins vs. Neville in the main event, Noam Dar vs. Mastafa Ali