SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Welcome back to Monday Night Rhodes! The show that is proud to be the home of the number one contender for the title that lives on Smackdown. That’s right, it’s time for the 3-hour show with only 2 segments advertised. Will Cody Rhodes ask us what we want to talk about? What will Seth Rollins wear? Will two superstars bump into each other in the hallway and end up competing in the ring because WWE didn’t have any other matches planned? Let’s find out as we dig into the most OVERRATED and UNDER-APPRECIATED moments from Monday Night Raw.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DOMINIK MYSTERIO’S HEAT WAVE
It’s an incredibly smart decision to have Dominik Mysterio introduce Rhea Ripley. She needs to come out with fresh heat after playing face in Perth. Luckily for her, Dominik is a human heat wave. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of watching Dom try to talk, and getting completely smothered in boos. He has to enjoy the strength of the response he gets. Monday Night Mami is hilarious by the way.
OVERRATED – BECKY LYNCH’S LACK OF HAND-EYE COORDINATION
Did anyone else notice Becky Lynch high-fiving mostly air as she walked to the ring? She seriously missed giving almost every fan a high-five. I don’t know if she has poor peripheral vision, incredibly weak hand-eye coordination, or she’s a germaphobe, but I haven’t seen such a poor attempt at a high-five since Ryan Seacrest tried to deliver one to a blind contestant on American Idol, only to get completely Jimmy Uso’d (for good reason). Seriously though, give that highlight another play through. You won’t regret it. It’s like watching a toddler high-five her imaginary friends.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DOMINIK KNOWING HIS ROLE AND NOT SHUTTING HIS MOUTH
Dominik Mysterio is such a gifted heel. The way he tried to play tough guy to Becky Lynch, and then took a timid, subtle step back when she threatened him was fantastic. I honestly think Dominik could walk into a soup kitchen with 873 cans of Campbell’s finest, and still get booed. On a side note, I don’t know what a kumquat is, but it sounded edgy and funny as hell.
OVERRATED – JINXING ONESELF
I have no doubt Becky Lynch’s book WILL be a bestseller. But calling your book a bestseller before it is released on March 26th, is tempting the jinx gods. DON’T get ahead of yourself, Becky. We don’t want the man to have to come around and admit he spoke too soon. I like playing the lottery, but I don’t run around telling everyone I’m buying a yacht before the numbers are read. Spoiler alert, I haven’t won yet.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MAMI’S ALWAYS ON POINT
Good lord, Rhea Ripley is like an Aussie version of The Rock that shops at Hot Topic. She just completely emasculated The Man, Becky Lynch. I’m a huge Bex fan, don’t get me wrong, but in terms of mic work, Rhea is just leagues above Becky. She’s to the point, creative with her aggressive analogies, and punchy with every verbal blow. Becky missed an opportunity to tell Rhea that her “bloody” moniker is fitting since she’s going to help her live up to it at WrestleMania.
OVERRATED – NIA JAXX, THE STOPPABLE FORCE
Personally, I don’t buy Nia Jaxx as any kind of dominant force in WWE. She’s clunky in the ring. She’s a terrible actor. She’s dressed inexplicably sparkly like she’s cosplaying a Twilight vampire. But, if we’re trying to build her up as this unstoppable force who leaves carnage everywhere she goes, why does she back down after a few mildly stern words from Adam Pearce? That just makes her look meek, subservient to authority, and honestly just timid. She went from being a bold, extra strong cup of coffee to a watered down cup of decaf.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PAT MCAFEE PUTS ON HIS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS HAT
Pat McAfee putting on his captain obvious hat, and pointing out that this is the first successful interaction Adam Pearce has had on TV, was hilarious. It’s obvious to all wrestling fans, but how often do we get an announcer actually pointing out flawed character development? Gold.
OVERRATED – 2 YEARS IN THE (FORGETFUL) MAKING
Hyping The New Day versus Imperium as being 2 years in the making is both shocking and confusing. Has this even been a feud? Is it so forgetful that I just don’t remember it? Have I taken one too many chair shots to the head in WWE2K23 that I simply can’t remember? Where have I been, sleeping under a rock? The Rock? Don’t slap me Dwayne “Herpes-smacker” Johnson. Also, could we at least get a 25-second promo package building up how and why this has been 2 years in the making? You’re asking me to believe you when I have no recollective evidence in my brain whatsoever. I feel like Donald “Say it until it’s believed” Trump just hyped a WWE match. Side note, they say it’s going to be the best match in the world, absolutely fantastic. They’re all saying it. I honestly feel like I could catch Imperium as a friend suggestion on Facebook, check out friends we have in common, see The New Day and have the immediate reaction of “You guys know each other?!”. Zzz
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MUST-WIN STAKES
Sami Zayn is so passionate and likable that when the announcers tell me this is a must win match for Sami to cement his path to WrestleMania, I’m 100% on board. It’s an empty promise and completely nonsensical, but that one little line, combined with Sami’s (what the kids call) rizz, is just a combo cooked in Heaven. It’s such a delicious collision of flavors and stakes, that I feel like I should leave gratuity for the writers. 15 percent enough.
OVERRATED – SHINSUKE NAKAMURA STEALING
Shinsuke Nakamura, shame on you. Stealing your outfit from Becky Lynch’s closet is beneath a superstar of your caliber. It’s bad enough she is married to a man who steals her shoes, but now she has to worry about you stealing her Kill Bill-inspired jumpsuits? You can dance to all the violins you want, but when you get arrested I’ll be playing the smallest one for you. For shame, Shinsuke. For shame.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GREAT CAMERA WORK
I love these ambience-setting broll shots WWE is doing now, walking toward the ring at the low angle to show the massive crowd nearly swallowing it whole. It’s so effective, and with the WWE product being hotter than a metal plate after warming up some dino nuggies, why not highlight it? Side note, I’m still confused about what Cody Rhodes is supposed to do with the nuggies…
OVERRATED – WWE2K24, EDIBLE EDITION?
During the Sami Zayn versus Shinsuke Nakamura match they popped up a graphic with Snickers and the cover of WWE2K24. Now, in retrospect I realize that this match is brought to you by WWE2K24 as well as Snickers. But this marketing was so confusing to me, that I literally saw the words, and the video game cover and said to myself “That’s not a Snickers…” then I came to my senses and ordered an edible version of 2K24…TASTE THE STORY!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MOVE-ENHANCING CAMERA ANGLES
The shot of Shinsuke Nakamura hanging over the turnbuckle, groggy, before getting annihilated with Sami Zayn’s finisher was a thing of beauty. The shot gave us a perfect sense of how out of it Shinsuke was, then the collision of the foot to his neck, and the subsequent ragdolling of his body, just made the move look absolutely brutal. That camera man deserves a WWE ice cream bar. I’m still waiting for those by the way. It was the first thing that popped into my head when C.M. Punk returned…and I’m still waiting…impatiently. Where oh where are my WWE ice cream bars?
OVERRATED – SAMI ZAYN’S OVER-CELEBRATING
I’m on the fence about Sami Zayn celebrating his win like he just won The Royal Rumble. On one hand, it feels entirely overdone. There were virtually no stakes to this match aside from Sami’s confidence being in its deathbed. On the other hand, Pat McAfee said “It only takes one win to remind a champion who he is”, which really painted this in a better light for me. I just hope they have a cohesive plan for where they’re going with this, or it’s going to feel like WWE’s sequel to the Kane-starring horror film, See No Evil – pointless, time-wasting and poorly written.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE NEW DAY VERSUS IMPERIUM PROMO
Okay that’s more like it. I truly didn’t recall any of these moments leading up to a match (allegedly) 2 years in the making. That said, once the promo started, all of this came flooding back. WWE’s promos department are connoisseurs of creative hype. This package did it for me. I could have done without the fake film grain filter, though. What is the justification for that? Are we trying to say we inexplicably shot just this feud on 8mm film? One thing I’ve learned from 2 decades of working in TV is that you never edit to say “I’m a good editor. Look what I can do.” You edit to enhance whatever story you’re selling, and if it isn’t an invisible uplift to that, it’s self-serving and a distraction to the narrative. I don’t need film grain to care about a match, WWE. That’s like trying to sell me Girl Scout cookies with a side of gnocchi. The two don’t go together, and I can’t pronounce the latter anyway. Side note, I absolutely love this serious side of The New Day. They’re so incredibly gifted at comedic timing, it’s easy to forget what great workers these guys are. Great job promos team! You deserve some Tagalongs without a side of gnocchi.
OVERRATED – CHELSEA GREEN
Believe it or not, this mention is actually a compliment. Everything about Chelsea Green is overrated. Whether it’s the outfits, the way Samantha Irvine announces her, the mannerisms, everything is over the top…and it works for her. Overrated is her entire gimmick and she takes to it like Kofi Kingston in a checkered shirt store. Take a second look at Kofi’s outfit during his walk to the arena. There are so many small boxes on his shirt I honestly think that if I stare long enough, and mildly cross my eyes, I might see a sailboat. Back to Chel…SEA GUHREEEEEEEN (he says in his best Samantha Irvine impression). I strongly dislike everything about her character, which means she’s doing it right. She cracked the code of her own persona and with every boo, she’s wrapping us more and more around her finger.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – TRANSITION GRAPHICS
Cool lead into the commercial break with action stills of Chelsea Green. These superstar-fueled graphic transitions into commercial breaks, where you see a few great freeze frames of whoever is wrestling, are very effective. They’ve done this a few times tonight and I’m a big fan of it. It makes each talent feel like a big deal. It’s incredibly simple but wildly effective, like rainbow sprinkles on an ice cream cone. Do they need to be there? No. Do they make it all taste better? Yes. It’s just science.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KEEPING C.M. PUNK RELEVANT
I’m sure this is all a work, but having C.M. Punk get omitted from the WWE2K24 roster, speak out on social media, and then announce on Raw that he IS in the game, is organic marketing brilliance. Most people will feel even more enthusiastic about the game now. I for one, see the strings here, but I’m such a fan of the puppet show, that it’s just fun. They could make a gimmick out of this to keep Punk in the mix, commenting about various things WWE puts out, or content, and then airing his ravings on live shows. Nice work marketing team. You get a bag of Thin Mints!
OVERRATED – CHELSEA GREEN ON THE MIC
I take back what I said about Chelsea Green’s overrated antics working for her after hearing her on the mic tonight. She clearly graduated from the Nia Jaxx school of acting. Everything she’s saying is insanely scripted and canned. I don’t think this is going to get her the kind of heat she’s fishing for. I think she’s going to get silent heat, which is the worst response a wrestler can get. No cookies for you, Chelsea.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH
Channeling the immortal Willow Smith by whipping her hair back and forth, Raquel Rodriguez has come up with a fun little taunt. I hope this is in WWE2K24. This was further enhanced by Chelsea Green jumping backwards to avoid it. This kind of cowardly cadence, of all bark and no bite, is her sweet spot. That said, the writers should let her cut a promo off the top of her head. She’s not great at reciting cleverly scripted lines and it works against her.
OVERRATED – SAMI ZAYN JUMPS THE SHARK
This backstage segment with Sami Zayn and Jackie Redmond jumped the shark for me. It’s overkill. It meant a lot to you Sami. We’re here for it, but that was so 14-minutes ago. We’ve moved on, and bringing us back to rehash how important this (now passé) win was for you, is a bit much. I’m as big of a supporter of Sami as the next independent wrestling fan, but I don’t need to hear him relive that needing to win is an “understatement”. Inherently, this becomes an OVERstatement. Too much, Sami. Pump the breaks and let us feel the aftermath of your win for ourselves, instead of being so heavy-handed with telling us how to feel. I don’t think any of this hurts Sami in the long run. I just find this to be a paradoxical annoyance tonight, because I’m still trying to catch up on sleep after watching the Elimination Chamber.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SAMI VERSUS GUNTHER AT WRESTLEMANIA
Sami digs aside, with him constantly saying he’ll be a champ, and hunting for his path to WrestleMania, it feels like he might be the most viable option to clash with Gunther for the Intercontinental Championship. What a barn-burner of a match that would be. I’m here for it. And just as I write this, Imperium enters, then Gunther. There it is. This is a great path for Sami that will bring out the best in both of them, on the mic and in the ring. Gunther will take the pity party out of Sami and build him as a viable contender.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CODY RHODES CAN BUILD ANYTHING
I’m starting to think Cody Rhodes should compete on Lego Masters because his ability to build up any match is masterful. I’d completely forgotten about his history with Grayson Waller, and bringing amazing moments to his faux talk show. I was mildly excited for the match, largely just because it’s a Cody match, but now I actually care about it. Cody Rhodes is truly the new John Cena. I’m here for it like Snickers is for WWE2K24…eat the story!
OVERRATED – GUNTHER-FUELED FECAL MATTER
I like Pat McAfee. I enjoy his over-the-top, fan of everything shtick. That said, I draw the line a fecal matter. During Imperium’s entrance, was it really necessary to say that Gunther makes you want to poop your pants? That’s some John Cena, PG-era fodder that I could do without, especially as it pertains to a heel as stone cold serious and accomplished as Gunther.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GUNTHER’S REIGN IS SO LONG THAT…
Okay Pat McAfee totally redeemed himself by saying that Gunther’s Intercontinental Title reign has gone on for so long, that when he first started, A.I. stood for Allen Iverson. I do think McAfee should walk a fine line with his sports references, only pulling in pop-culture level names, but I found this subtly hilarious. I would love it if he made a shtick out of this, akin to Yo Mama jokes, constantly giving us one-liners that hilariously paint a picture of Gunther’s reign lasting abnormally long. When Gunther started his reign, phones still folded in half. When Gunther first won the title, there was only one Fast and Furious movie, etc. He could have some real fun with this.
OVERRATED – CRACKS IN GUNTHER’S CONFIDENCE
Gunther beat Jey Uso. Period. I don’t think he should be giving a rub to Jey, or saying he (Gunther) got lucky. I especially didn’t care for him saying he felt the title slipping through his fingers. He should be selling his reign and his grip as being ironclad. I want to hear that he didn’t doubt himself for even a moment. He can give a little respect to Jey, but as a heel, I think he needs to turn it into an insult as fast as possible. He could have said something like “I gotta hand it to Jey, he’s got the goods. I could absolutely see him taking the Intercontinental Title…if someone else was holding it. Jey, you can’t run through a brick wall, and I am 6-feet, 4-inches of don’t even try it.” I stand corrected. Gunther said “Nobody is perfect…but I am very very close.” If that ain’t the delicious surprise filling in a Gusher, I don’t know what is. How dare I doubt the Ring General. If I were in front of him right now he’d likely be giving me a completely justified Pat McAfee stare.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GUNTHER’S AWARENESS
I absolutely love that Gunther is acknowledging and name-dropping all of his long-speculated opponents for WrestleMania. It just makes him look smarter than everyone else on the roster. Hearing him name Sami Zayn, and Chad Gable out loud just gives me the warm fuzzies all over. I feel like the hyena in The Lion King asking my compadre to say “Mufasa” again just because of the chills it gives me. Nice ad lib throwing in Miz and R-Truth as well.
OVERRATED – THE JUDGMENT DAY TAKING A SPOT THEY DON’T NEED
I’m against this, UNLESS the Gunther match goes to Dominik Mysterio, who right now, doesn’t have the meaningful match he deserves with all the heat he’s built up. He has enough heat to warm all of Paul “Triple H” Levesque’s houses. Special shoutout to Gunther for pointing out that human bobblehead, J.D. McDonagh has a big head. It’s funny because it’s true. Normally I wouldn’t mock him for that (too much) but with heels, even heads are fair game. Please let it be “Dirty” Dom Mysterio. Please. I’m praying to all the wrestling gods for this dynamic on the road to WrestleMania. Between Dom’s heat and Gunther’s in-ring street cred, this could build to something that elevates both of them.
OVERRATED – DAMIEN PRIEST TELEGRAPHS HIS MOVE
Damien Priest, if you’re going to lunge at Gunther with the plan of being held back, please don’t telegraph it. You literally ran forward with your arm behind Dominik Mysterio, essentially holding yourself back. We know wrestling isn’t real, but I don’t wanna walk into a Scream movie and have it start with the usher telling me who the killer is. Let us suspend disbelief. It looks like it’s going to be Priest versus Gunther. I get it, but I think this is a big, wasted opportunity to elevate someone who isn’t already a made man in WWE. Maybe it comes down to a tournament with everyone Gunther mentioned.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE POWER OF A MULLETED MID-CARDER PREVAILS
Mami just tried to talk Dominik Mysterio out of facing Gunther. Yes! This will likely turn into some kind of three way with Gunther, Sami Zayn and the Mulleted Maestro himself, but I’m just happy to see “Dirty” Dom get a clean chance at gold. He may not be the best in the ring but the kid has earned his crowd reaction, and with that should come opportunity. Side note, Andrade el Idolo in The Judgment Day? Yes please! I’ve been wondering what they were going to do with him. Let’s boot J.D. McDonagh out, and give his seat to Andrade. Please and thank you, WWE. Andrade’s ego is huge, but his head is normal-sized. Dom’s acting was a bit dirty here, but he’ll get it together. He’s not enrolled in the Nia Jaxx and Chelsea Green academy of acting by any stretch. Plus his mullet is the real star.
UNDER- APPRECIATED – THE NEW DEMEANOR
I’m very happy to see that The New Day is taking this match seriously, and didn’t come out dancing. They’re insanely talented and deserve to have these moments of pure determination. The last time I saw this fire from them was when they faced the Usos in a Hell in a Cell match. I’m newly enthused by their new attitudes on this new day. Also, I’d like to request a moment of silence for Francesca 85. Here’s hoping you’re dining on Booty O’s and riding unicorns with the angels.
OVERRATED – 2 YEARS
Michael Cole, the Cole Miners would like to request you ease up a bit on selling The New Day and Imperium rivalry as being 2 years in the making. I feel like I want to treat Cole like my toddler, take him by the hands, look him in the eyes, and calmly but sternly tell him “I heard you the first time. You don’t need to keep saying it. I heard it and I understood it.”
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WIDE SHOTS DURING A STREET FIGHT
Pulling the camera out wide during The New Day versus Imperium street fight, which by the way has been building to for 2 years, is amazingly effective. Getting to see the scope and enthusiasm of a raucous crowd just elevates a somewhat inconsequential street fight into an epic brawl. Special shoutout to Ludwig Kaiser for reacting to the crowds demand for tables by pulling one out, then pushing it back in. That is great heel awareness and thinking on your feet. It’s that kind of discipline and awareness that has decreased his body fat to zero and makes him look like a man baby that does 4,000 crunches in a crib every day. I also really liked Pat McAfee’s line about how Ludwig won’t let anyone have any fun. That is a great gimmick, reminiscent of The Right to Censor back in the day. I could see him latching onto that if he embarked on a singles run, during which Giovanni Vinci would sink into irrelevance.
OVERRATED – XAVIER GOES INTO LABOR
I’m all for Xavier Woods selling devastating moves, but does he need to sound like he’s giving birth to Francesca 86? That squeaky grunt was just too much for me. It makes me want to take his hand, play his favorite music and encourage breathing exercises. You can do this Xavier. Trust the power of positivity and push!
OVERRATED – CHAIRS IN A STREET FIGHT
I’m a fan of the old school chair shot when it makes sense, but when all bets are off, can’t we get a little more creative with the items we wield as weapons? It just seems like such low-hanging fruit, when I’d rather see New Day or Imperium bash each other with coconuts.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GIOVANNI’S KENDO SKILLS
Say what you will about Giovanni Vinci being cut from a generic cloth of wrestlers, and I have, but the man has organic chemistry with a kendo stick. He swings that better than Steve Blackman in 1997. He wields that oddly hollow rod like a Jedi master, and fits with it better than Ewan McGregor and the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
OVERRATED – CHEWING GUM IN WRESTLING MATCHES
Does everyone need to chew gum while wrestling? Isn’t that a choking hazard? I get it. It looks cool and it’s fun to spit out when you get hit, but if all your friends jump off a Hell in a Cell, are you going to also? Be your own man, Ludwig Kaiser. I get that you don’t eat carbs, but seeing you chew what I believe is Juicy Fruit, just makes me sad that you’re not enjoying something as delicious as a Dairy Queen Blizzard, gummy worms, or some WWE ice cream bars.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – TABLES, TURNBUCKLES AND CHAIRS, OH MY
Kofi Kingston just annihilated Giovanni Vinci with an announcer chair. Now THAT was fresh and fun to see. He probably knocked him so silly that Kofi sounds Jamaican to him. I also loved Xavier Woods’ table spot. The wide shot of him standing on the turnbuckle, with a sea of rabid fans, the pause and pose before doing a flying elbow, was pure poetry. Cookies for you, Woods. Cookies, and maybe an ice pack.
OVERRATED – PROFANITY CENSORING
During the Imperium versus New Day brawl, did we really need to censor a barely indistinguishable “holy sh*t” chant? It’s just annoying and makes me feel like I’m listening to a ‘90s discman while power walking.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE TRAINWRECK ON LUDWIG KAISER’S BACK
Dear lord, it looks like a train ran over Ludwig Kaiser’s back. I don’t know if he has insanely sensitive skin, or if kendo sticks can do that level of damage, but his back looks like a train ran over him. That looks insanely painful. Kudos to him for toughing it out and still taking bumps in the match. He’s going to be sleeping in the fetal position for at least a week…next to his baby oil and ab-roller. Side note, the fire and fury that Ludwig showed in the end of that match, was gloriously effective. I felt like I was watching a pit bull get let off his leash for 3-seconds of rage. Props to Xavier Woods for taking a brutal headshot and then another headfirst plunge into a mounted chair on the turnbuckle. Ouch. I’d offer Ludwig some cookies but something tells me his ab-ness wouldn’t eat them anyway.
OVERRATED – CANDICE LE-WINGS?
Oh, so Candice LeRae has wings now. That’s new. That’s also about as useful as Lightning McQueen’s headlight stickers – all for show and no practical use. We’ve seen wrestlers do a lot of things to get over throughout the years, talking to mops, playing supervillains, censoring raunchiness, but I’ve never seen someone wear wings to do so. Special mention to Pat McAfee who claimed Candice was flying through the air after getting thrown by Zoey Stark. Pat, humans can’t fly…especially not after they’ve already removed their wings. Sheesh. Pay attention, sir.
UNDER- APPRECIATED – THE SUBMISSION ADDITION
I feel like Shayna Baszler is so under-utilized. She’s more often than not just an afterthought in matches, just kind of there. She’s less The Submission Magician and more The Submission Addition…there for a quick ending. I’d love to see Shayna get taken under Paul Heyman’s wing and built as an absolutely unstoppable, violent, unhinged force in the women’s division. No pun intended, okay maybe there is, but she is such an untapped talent. Maybe if she gets bored, she could start a PWTorch column called The Submission Edition…and write about other untapped talent. Maybe I’m just submission wishin’. I digress.
UNDER- APPRECIATED – REGENERATION-X
The R-Truth mixing people up gimmick is getting a little forced, but Regeneration-X is pretty funny. It’s not a whole bag of cookies good, but it’s worth a bite or two. Honorable mention to Tomasso Ciampa’s “Are you ready” play. Cute try. It didn’t land smoothly, but we survived it, so it’s passable.
OVERRATED – I MIGHT BE HURT
Drew McIntyre, you’re better than this. I’m sick of everyone trying to wear Mark Henry’s salmon jacket. The whole pretending to be hurt, only to flip back into heel mode, is tired. That said, the C.M. Punk quip was brutal and I love that he’s keeping him hot. They’re going to have an explosive collision as soon as he’s back. I honestly can’t wait for the pipe bombs he’ll have assembled by the time he comes back.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DREW MCINTYRE GOES CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE
I may be wrong here, but I think Drew McIntyre may be the first person to mock the C.M. Punk sit and chat gimmick. And he did it in a kilt no less. That’s just impressive. I’m starting to wonder if there’s a chance Punk makes it back for WrestleMania, and if so, is this is their way of keeping him hot in case they pivot and make the Seth Rollins versus McIntyre match a three-way dance? Color me intrigued, WWE. Color me intrigued with bright neon colors.
OVERRATED – SETH “RISKY FASHION” ROLLINS
Seth Rollins looks like the love child of Elvis Presley and Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat. Seth, you’re driving Monday Night Raw. As the chauffeur of the red brand, you need to pick a lane. I don’t know whether to start singing or try a finishing move. I’m all for the eccentricity, it worked for Shawn Michaels. He was insanely over-the-top, but he was so effective as a character that it just worked for him. For some reason, eccentric fashion and Seth Rollins still feels like a square peg and a round hole, and I’m fairly certain he’s worn outfits with both of those. Now I think he looks like a wizard, which makes it even more confusing that he can’t seem to find the magic in his sense of style. The only magic trick this wizard seems to have is the ability to make people Fandango him. If you don’t get the reference, I’m not talking about buying Seth movie tickets. Give it a YouTube and you’ll be ballroom dancing through some fun memories.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – URINE TROUBLE NOW
Seth Rollins, it seems like urine for the beating of a lifetime because Drew McIntyre won’t pee on people to save them from fire. This was pretty funny, but made hilarious by the guttural “what?” from Pat McAfee, illustrating his confusion and disgust all at once. Side note, Drew has a very valid point about wanting Seth to stay away from The Bloodline so it doesn’t taint his victory. The best villains always have a good point, but go to questionable means to get what they want.
OVERRATED – SETH “RAMBLING” ROLLINS
This isn’t a bad back and forth by Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre, but it IS too long. Drew got to his point quickly. Seth has been talking so long I’ve lost track of what he’s trying to say. The world title is bigger than your daughter? You’re a changed man because the guy you turned on first, is a big meanie? You cast a spell to make sure The Bloodline can’t interfere in your match? You don’t need wizarding magic. Just have the match inside Hell in a Cell. No one needs to graduate from Hogwarts to make that happen, Seth. I’m happy he didn’t drop the mic at the end of this promo. This wasn’t a mic drop promo. Instead he threw it like a tantruming toddler, which is kind of what this felt like. Anyone who has ever argued with a 3-year old knows what I’m talking about. They talk in circles, almost make valid points, then just throw something to escalate things.
OVERRATED – ALL OR NOTHING
Pat McAfee just said that Nia Jaxx has everything you could want in a superstar. I wholeheartedly disagree. I think she has NOTHING you want in a superstar. She’s a bad actor. She telegraphs all of her moves in the ring. She’s slow, and doesn’t seem like she has powerhouse strength, and she’s just a dangerous worker that has injured multiple stars.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LIV LIKE YOU’RE DYING
The cross body to the outside of the ring by Liv Morgan onto Nia Jaxx was super impressive for a wrestler that was incredibly green only a few years ago.
OVERRATED – PAT MCAFEE GETS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER
Oh God, we’re back to the football breakdowns again, Pat McAfee. And who hired you a graphic designer? Now we have mildly polished graphics instead of doodles. I’m not sure if this is better or worse. You can put sprinkles on a turd but it’s still a turd.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SLEEVES
Sleeves are a vital part of any polo shirt. With that in mind, why are half of Pat McAfee’s missing? Did Shinsuke Nakamura rob you as well? That kleptomaniac! Oddly, I imagine Shinsuke breaking into someone’s house with a bag that has a $ on it. Then he screams “Come On!” and all the valuables leap into the bag at his command. Then he dances away like Gumbi. Too dated of a reference? How about Mrs. Incredible?
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MESSY MADNESS
Nia Jaxx hates Becky Lynch. Nia also doesn’t like Liv Morgan. Becky is mad at Nia, but wants to fight Rhea Ripley. Liv Morgan is mad at Becky, who doesn’t like Nia, who also wants to fight Rhea. As muddled as this seems, there’s something refreshing about it being a little messy. It gives wiggle room for matches with meaning on the weekday shows. Roller coasters have twists and turns for a reason…they’re fun.
OVERRATED – JACKIE REDMOND’S SPOILED SHOW
WWE just hyped The Jackie Redmond Show, debuting this week with Jey Uso. Okay, I’ll watch that. Wait, so then we cut to an interview between Jackie and Jey?! You just bought me a ticket to Titanic and then told me the boat sinks two seconds later. Special mention of Jey Uso’s sunglasses, that still make him look like he’s watching a 3D movie. You’re in the real world, Jey. This isn’t Kung-Fu Panda 4.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – EVERYONE HATES EVERYONE
Drew McIntyre still hates Jey Uso. And the everybody hates everybody trend continues. Again though, I kinda like it. It opens a lot of doors for feuds we can revisit or tap into for filler matches leading up to premium live events.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – A-TOWN WENT DOWN
Man oh man did Austin Theory cool off faster than cake in a fridge. This guy was trading words with The Rock and holding titles only a few months ago. I can’t help but think Austin seems like Woody in Toy Story after Andy got Buzz for his birthday. I really hope they find something for him soon. He doesn’t need to be Andy’s favorite toy, but being Grayson Waller’s lackey is beneath someone with that much charisma and in-ring talent.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – HYPE
There you go, WWE. Now I have two viable matches to look forward to. Nia Jaxx versus Becky Lynch and Drew McIntyre versus Jey Uso and his sunglasses. That’s strong booking.
OVERRATED – PAUL HEYMAN STEALING LINES
If Paul Heyman reads the Torch, then he definitely stole my line about Cody Rhodes getting Will Smithed across the face. Paul, my name is Kevi…okay fine you win.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PAUL HEYMAN HITS LATE-STAGE PUBERTY
Did anyone else catch the hilarious inflection in Paul Heyman’s voice when he said “My tribal chief”? That line was squeakier than a bed at a brothel.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CODY MATCHES ROCK ON THE MIC
Cody Rhodes is on another level on the mic these days. Every time he talks, I find myself unable to pick a favorite line. He has truly risen to the John Cena and Roc-level of mic work. This ride is going to be a blast. Special shoutout to the chemistry between Cody and Paul Heyman. They go together like potato chips and PB&J. Seriously, try it. It’s delicious and so is this feud.
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