MCMAHON’S IMPACT REPORT 4/13: Team Borash vs. Team Mathews, Sutter & Allie vs. KM & Sienna

By Mike McMahon, PWTorch contributor


SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...

MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
April 13, 2017
Taped in Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV

— After the new signature graphic, Impact opened with a highlight video detailing last week’s show.

— As part of the highlight video, we see the suited figure walk into the Impact Zone. It was Magnus, as he returned to be a part of Team Borash.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Revealing Magnus returning in a quick highlight package like that really made his return feel anti-climactic. It would have been better if they threw to last week and showed the entire segment. This felt like it was thrown away.)

— Allie and Braxton Sutter are shown entering the arena. Sienna and KM are also shown entering.

— The Impact opening video with music aired.

— Reno Scum made a ring entrance as the show opened in the arena. Borash welcomed us to the show. Borash said a three-way tag-team match would open the show.

(1) RENO SCUM vs. LAREDO KID & GARZA JR. vs. DECAY

Mathews apologized at the start of the match for not paying attention tonight, because he was planning with his team. Mathews said his team would win and he would be with Impact forever. Mathews called his team, “Team Goat.” Borash and Mathews argued about whose team was getting more hype on Twitter.

In the ring, Abyss is working on Garza Jr. Mathews said if his team loses tonight, he’ll leave the Impact broadcast team. Crazzy Steve tags in and works over Garza Jr. Mathews asked what Fury being unleashed was all about tonight? Garza Jr. and Steve collide with a double clothesline. Garza Jr. was about to make a tag, but Rosemary pulled Laredo Kid off the apron. Garza Jr. tagged in Luster the Legend and he’s whipping Steve all over the ring. Abyss tagged in and traded punches with Luster in the middle of the ring. Abyss choke slammed Luster. Laredo Kid hit Abyss with a springboard dropkick after tagging in. Steve ties up Garza Jr. in the corner and tried to charge him but Luster cut him off and powerbomded Steve into Garza, who was tied up on the turnbuckle.

WINNERS: Reno Scum

Right after the match ended, Mathews left the table and said he needed to go. Reno Scum celebrated while JB went over the highlights.

(McMahon’s Analysis — The match felt like it was there just to serve as a backdrop for Mathews and Borash to argue. The turnbuckle powerbomb, with Garza Jr. hung upside down, looked impressive. Other than that, there wasn’t much to this match. Decay continues to get beat. At this point you have to wonder if Impact is phasing them out).

— Backstage, McKenzie Mitchell asked Andrew Everett what’s next? Everett said he deserved an X Division Title shot. Helms walked into the interview and said he hasn’t earned a shot yet. Helms said they would have a Fatal Four Way tonight. Helms mentioned two guys and then Everett asked Helms to be the third man. Helms wouldn’t do it, and Everett got after Helms for being afraid. Finally, Helms said he’d do it.

[Commercial]

— Bruce Prichard came to the ring. Borash said he was out there to announce who would challenge Lashley for the Impact Championship. Prichard announced Storm as the No. 1 contender, as shots of ECIII, Matt Morgan and Lashley were also shown backstage.

ECIII immediately ran to the ring. Borash said the decision was based on a fan poll on the website. Prichard asked what ECIII was doing out there. ECIII told Prichard to read the result again. Prichard said he didn’t stutter, Storm will face Lashley on a live episode of Impact next week.

ECIII said he doesn’t trust Prichard. ECIII said he felt the new regime was rigging things against him. Prichard told ECIII that they took his suggestion, and they ran a fan poll. Prichard said that ECIII said last week that the decision was up to the fans as to who should face Lashley next. Prichard said, “we asked the fans, they voted,” and you could hear someone yell, “no you didn’t!”

ECIII said that Prichard was holding one loss to El Patron over his head. Prichard told ECIII to go find a mirror and ask himself what he should do? Prichard said to ask himself what happened to the guy that was the man in Impact? Prichard said it was about how ECIII lost. He tapped out. Prichard told ECIII to ask if he tapped out in a match, or did he tap out on himself?

ECIII thanked Prichard. He said he would go look that man in the eyes and ask what he needed to do to prove to Prichard, “these people,” and himself what he needed to do. ECIII and Prichard shook hands.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Interesting segment. Prichard stumbled a little on his promo – it was a little all over the place and it was hard for him to get to where he was going. ECIII again teased a heel turn, especially with the way he said, “these people,” at the end of the promo. I still see this going towards an ECIII heel turn, which him probably blaming the fans for not getting the title shot next week. The fans voted, and they voted for Storm. That’s ECIII’s excuse to turn on the people. That’s a good angle. It feels like they’re dragging out this heel turn though. They teased it once, and then ECIII apologized last week. Now they’re teasing it again).

(2) KM & SIENNA vs. ALLIE & BRAXTON SUTTER

Sutter and KM began the match. Sutter rolled him up for a two count. Mathews rejoined the announce team. Sutter suplexed KM into the corner. Sienna runs in and tries to go after Sutter. Allie tags in and she landed a clothesline. Allie climbed to the second rope and tried to dive on Sienna. As Sienna was carrying Allie around the ring, she tripped over KM and Allie landed on top of her, scoring the pin.

WINNER: Braxton Sutter & Allie

After the match, Allie and Sienna celebrated. Music then played and Kongo Kong made his debut. He climbed into the ring. Sutter tried to attack him, but Kong didn’t move. Kong flattened Sutter with a Samoan drop. Sienna and KM looked on from the outside. Kong set Sutter up in the corner hit Sutter with a cannonball. Sienna seemed to be able to control Kong, she told him to get out of the ring and he did.

Laurel Van Ness hit the ring. She tried to go after Allie with Sienna. After trying to fight them off, Sienna hit Allie with an AK47 and Laurel, who was wearing her wedding dress, beat up Allie with her heels. Sienna finally pulled Laurel off and they all went to the back.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Kong is an interesting looking dude. He’s a bigger version of Umaga, in some ways. Similar character, but Kong is much bigger. It was also funny to watch Sienna control him. It was very much like Armando Estrada controlling Umaga, or even Paul Bearer controlling the Undertaker in the early-90s. Kong could be a good monster for Impact.)

[Commercial]

— Back from the break, they ran a graphic on the main event tag-team match.

(3) ROSEMARY vs. SANTANA GARRETT

Rosemary jumped on Garrett from the opening bell. Garrett used her quickness to roll up Rosemary three time sin a row, all for two counts. Borash hyped Slammiversary on July 2. Rosemary was warned for forearms on the ground. Rosemary missed a splash and Garrett went to charger her in the corner but Rosemary hit a clothesline. Rosemary picked up Garrett but she slid down her shoulders and ate an elbow from Rosemary. Garrett hit two clotheslines and then a handspring elbow. Rosemary landed a dropkick. Borash said he got a text from Alberto El Patron and Mathews asked if it was a Periscope? Hinting at El Patron’s recent Periscope videos. He told Borash to get his team under control on social media. Rosemary hit Red Wedding for the win.

WINNER: Rosemary

— After the match, Rosemary celebrated.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Mathews mentioning El Patron’s drunk Periscope videos were unexpected. I’m not sure if this was Impact trying to “be real” or if they were legitimately upset with El Patron, and they were trying to embarrass him on their television. Either way, it was probably a poor decision. It was a throwaway comment, and didn’t do anything for anyone. It didn’t build the match or help anyone at all. Dumb move.)

— Backstage, Angelina Love and Davey Richards are making out. A cameraman asked Richards if he had remorse? Love said he had no remorse. Richards told her to be quiet, and kissed her again. Richards then glared into the camera as Love she Edwards deserved every bit of suffering.

[Commercial]

(4) ANDREW EVERETT vs. MARSHE ROCKETT vs. SUICIDE vs. GREGORY SHANE HELMS (w/Trevor Lee)

Helms was wearing kneepads over his jeans, with an Impact t-shirt. As soon as the bell rang Everett ran after Helms but he ducked out of the ring and Rockett jumped Everett. Helms tripped Everett from the outside. Helms still has his green leather jacket on. Suicide hit Everett with a dropkick. Borash and Mathews spent more time talking about their teams and arguing over whose was better. Rockett kicked Suicide. Mathews said Magnus has been carrying his wife’s bags around. Suicide hit a Suicide Solution on Everett. Helms ran in and tossed Suicide over the top rope. He then took off his jacket and hit Everett. As Helms was playing to the camera, Everett got up and whipped Helms into the corner and then hit a diving forearm. Helms rakes Everett’s eyes. Rockett missed a dive off the top. Suicide hit Rockett with a springboard moonsault. Everett dropped Suicide with a kick. Everett went to the top and hit Rockett with a shooting star press for the win.

WINNER: Andrew Everett

After the match, Everett got in the face of Helms, who was trying to crawl back into the ring. Lee ran in and attacked Everett from behind. Helms and Lee double-teamed Everett. Helms whipped Everett into Lee but Everett reversed it into a spike hurricanrana.

[Commercial]

(5) DAVEY RICHARDS vs. D.J. Z

Mathews said that Angelina pulled the trigger last week in the match with Edwards. D.J. Z wanted to lock hands but Richards kicked him in the gut and then threw a flurry of kicks in the corner. Richards hit a running forearm. D.J. Z landed a diving dropkick on Richards through the ropes. D.J. Z hit a cross body for a two. Richards landed a vicious clothesline. D.J. Z hit a cutter for another two count. Richards hit D.J. Z with a spinning sidekick. Richards kicked D.J. Z in the chest and snatched an ankle lock for the win as Pope pointed out D.J. Z has a bad ankle.

WINNER: Davey Richards via submission.

After the match, Edwards fought through security to get down the aisle. Richards tried to get at Edwards. With people distracted, Edwards’ wife ran into the ring and jumped Angelina Love.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Good match with Richards showing off more of his new aggressiveness. I don’t think the loss hurts D.J. Z much, with them playing up his bad ankle and that’s why he tapped out. The post-match angle is setting up an eventual mixed tag-team match. I’m not sure how you pull that off, though. Every time Richards and Edwards are around each other, there are 6-8 security guards out to separate them. Are we supposed to believe they will both stand on the turnbuckle while their wives fight?)

[Commercial]

— Back from the break, Borash and Mathews gave their final comments before the big match. Mathews again said he would be with Impact forever, because his team would not lose.

(6) LASHLEY, ELI DRAKE, TYRUS & BRAM (Team Mathews) vs. MAGNUS, CHRIS ADONIS, ALBERTO EL PATRON & MATT MORGAN (Team Borash)

Magnus came to the ring carrying his Global Force World Title. Adonis vs. Lashley begins the match. El Patron tags in immediately and it’s El Patron vs. Lashley. Nope, Lashley tags in Eli Drake. Mathews yelled and screamed that Borash was a “mark.”

(McMahon’s Analysis — The commentary continues to be awful. They’re — especially Mathews — are using insider terms as if it makes them seem smarter. This feels very reminiscent to WCW under Vince Russo, when they would continually tell the viewer something, “wasn’t scripted,” when everyone with half a brain knew it was, in fact, “scripted.” Hopefully this three-man booth finally comes to an end tonight).

El Patron tagged in and ran Drake with a pair of clotheslines before a back cracker. Mathews screamed at his team to get it together. El Patron was playing to the crowd as the show went to a break.

[Commercial]

Back from the break, Tyrus clotheslined Adonis. Lashley tagged in and covered Adonis for a two count. The match began to spill to the outside with both teams off the aprons and gathered, but nothing came of it. Drake slammed Adonis and landed an elbow for a two count. Tyrus dropped Adonis with a headbutt and then climbed to the second rope, but Adonis moved on the dive. Morgan and Bram tagged in. Morgan took out Mathews’ entire team. Morgan clotheslined Lashley to the outside but Bram and Drake double team him. Morgan double clotheslined them. Morgan chokeslammed Bram but Tyrus made the save. El Patron dropkicked Tyrus and landed a sidekick. Lashley speared El Patron. Adonis hit a spine buster on Lashley. Drake dropped Adonis. Magnus came in and power bombed Drake. Morgan hit the Carbon Footprint on Bram. Magnus followed with an elbow off the top for the win.

WINNER: Team Borash

After the match, the team celebrated in the ring while Borash celebrated with the crowd around the announce table. The babyfaces then poured out of the locker room and all mocked Mathews.

Mathews grabbed a mic. Borash said that they would celebrate in seven nights.

(McMahon’s Analysis — Something got cut out there. Borash and Mathews both had house mics. Thankfully, the angle is coming to an end. At least we hope. From a wrestling standpoint, Magnus and Adonis were a little lost here in their re-debuts. Morgan shined nicely getting the hot tag, but the other two seemed to be lost in the shuffle, which was unfortunate. If they move ahead with Borash as the play-by-play guy and Pope on color, that’s the best fit. Mathews at this point is better suited as a heel manager, I think. His character, in short bursts (10-15 minute segments) should be tolerable. Listening to him for two hours has not been.)

2 Comments on MCMAHON’S IMPACT REPORT 4/13: Team Borash vs. Team Mathews, Sutter & Allie vs. KM & Sienna

  1. They both had house pics? I don’t get what you are getting at there. They were sharing pictures of their houses. I did not see that.

    I once again laughed reading this review as you can tell it is written by someone who prefers vanilla wrestling. It is great if you are a PG guy and like the cartoon character wrestling. Most of us outgrew that at some point, if you still “dig” it, cool for you. The whole use of insider terms is geared towards the adult fan. I don’t really see any issue with some form of reality. We certainly don’t get a lot of that on the vanilla show. It is a nice change of pace.

  2. It is remarkable how much the change in management has improved Impact Wrestling in such a short period of time. I am really excited for the future of this company.

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