9/4 AEW DARK TV REPORT: Special C.M. Punk appearance, Hikaru Shida vs. Missa Kate, Jurassic Express vs. Chaos Project, more

BY RYAN HOWARD, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR


SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...

AEW DARK TV REPORT
SEPTEMBER 4, 2021
RECORDED AT NOW ARENA, HOFFMAN ESTATES, IL
AIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY RYAN HOWARD, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Announcers: Excalibur and Taz

Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts

(1) 2point0 (Jeff Parker & Matt Lee w/Daniel Garcia) vs. HUNTER KNOTT & ROSARIO GRILLO

Ricky Starks joins the booth to start the night. Lee fired off a few arm drags; Grillo answered with one of his own, but got beaten down for his efforts. A loud “Let’s Go Jobbers” chant breaks out as Knott was dropped with the step up elbow drop & Two for the Show for the quick finish. Post match, Garcia jumped in and choked out Knott as 2point0 put the boots to Grillo.

WINNERS: 2point0 in 2:00

(Howard’s Analysis: Another week, another impressive showing from Lee & Parker, who continue to capitalize on this much deserved opportunity they’re getting in AEW.)

-Vickie Guerrero & Nyla Rose cut a quick promo about how Nyla will win the Battle Royale at All Out.

(2) WHEELER YUTA (w/Orange Cassidy & Chuck Taylor) vs. BARON BLACK

Black hit a very nice exploder suplex in the early going to get a near fall. Yuta floated over a suplex and hit a nice shotgun dropkick off the top. Yuta skinned the cat on the bottom rope and got a slingshot roll into a seatbelt roll up for the victory. Black looked visibly frustrated that he got caught.

WINNER: Wheeler Yuta in 2:30

(Howard Analysis: I’m happy to see Baron Black back on Dark again, as he was one of the unsung MVPs during the Daily’s Place days. Hopefully his first victory is coming, but tonight belonged to Yuta, who looked good here.)

(3) JULIA HART (w/Varsity Blonds) vs. HEATHER RECKLESS

Julia got a quick arm drag, but then was palm struck by Reckless. Julia did a nice leg sweep and standing moonsault combo for two. Reckless responded driving Julia’s head into the corner, licked her hand and chopped Julia stiff. Julia fired up with some clotheslines and a thrust kick before she headed up top and hit the Twisted Bliss splash for two. Julia tried her handspring corner kick, but Reckless was too close and Julia jammed her own knee. You could see that Julia was in pain as she dropped Reckless with her splits into a bulldog for the win.

WINNER: Julia Hart in 3:30

(Howard’s Analysis: I hope Julia’s leg is ok, as once that happened; she looked like she was really hurting.)

-We see the contract signing between Jon Moxley & Satoshi Kojima with Tony Schiavone moderating. Moxley said he didn’t care about forbidden doors, but there aren’t many bigger names than Kojima. Mox trash talked Tanahashi without actually mentioning The Ace by name. Mox said once the bell rings Sunday, all respect for Kojima goes out the window. Kojima thanks Tony, says he will do his best & he will kick Moxley’s ass. Mox flips the table and we get the pull apart we saw on Rampage. I’m happy we got to see more of this segment.

-A Julia Hart promo on the battle royal is shown, but she gets attacked by Nyla Rose & Jade Cargill. They Pillmanize her leg and leave her crying. Nyla & Jade say tomorrow their truce is off. I have a feeling Julia won’t make it to All Out.

(4) HIKARU SHIDA vs. MISSA KATE

Shida & Kate do a nice exchange to start, but Shida did a handstand to pop the crowd. Kate fired off a pump kick to the face for a near fall. Shida was thrown outside, but reversed a whip that sent Kate into the guard rail. Shida was looking for something under the ring, which Taz thought was Tony Schiavone, but Excalibur said Britt Baker wasn’t there, so neither would Tony. Shida used a chair for a springboard attack before she hit a missile dropkick off the second back inside. Kate caught Shida in a full nelson and slammed Shida face first into the corner for a near fall. Shida answered with an enziguri and running elbow strike, which led to Shida doing the deal hitting the Falcon Arrow for the three.

WINNER: Hikaru Shida in 5:00

(Howard’s Analysis: Hard hitting match here with Kate looking really solid in defeat. Shida looked great as well, she’s more than ready for All Out. I loved at one point Excalibur called out Taz for popping a drink mid-match during this.)

(5) RED VELVET vs. SKYE BLUE

Sky Blue is from Joliet, so she got a huge pop for her intro. The crowd is booing Velvet, who got an early head scissors and leg lock. Both ladies traded arm drags and cheered Blue when she hit hers. Velvet & Blue trade pin attempts before Velvet hit a leg lariat. Blue hit a nice handspring corner attack and high cross body off the top for two. Taz asks why Blue is wearing Chargers colors, so Excalibur says she’s a big Phil Rivers fan, which popped Taz. We got a forearm battle to give the crowd a chance to cheer & boo. Velvet connected with a wheelbarrow bulldog, double knee in the ropes and standing moonsault for a close two. Velvet hit an Iconoclasm for another near fall. Blue ducked a head kick into a school girl for two, hit a thrust kick & DDT for a super close two. The crowd is super into these near falls for Blue. Velvet countered Sliced Bread into the Final Slice for the victory. Post match, we see the clip making rounds on Twitter of Tony Khan offering Sky Blue a spot in the Battle Royale on Sunday.

WINNER: Red Velvet in 5:30

(Howard’s Analysis: Credit to Red Velvet for adapting on the fly to play heel as Sky Blue was super over with the crowd here. I dug the ending with Tony, but honestly, I wish they would’ve had Blue go over. I know Velvet is the established name, but would it be that harmful if Velvet took a loss? Regardless, I enjoyed this match with the crowd being great here.)

-Penelope Ford & Bunny cut a promo on the Battle Royale saying if either one of them win, the other wins as well. I don’t think they know how Battle Royals work.

(6) SHAWN SPEARS & WARDLOW (w/Tully Blanchard) vs. BRANDON GORE & JDX

Taz makes sure to let us know Brandon Gore is in no relation to Al. JDX & Gore took turns working the arm of Spears briefly, as Gore was sent outside. Spears took the ref, so Tully hit a running knee to the gut of Gore. Spears hit multiple knees in the corner before Wardlow tagged in and powerbombed Gore & JDX, then powerbombed JDX onto Gore before putting away Gore with a violent Casualty of War. Spears wanted the tag to pick up the pieces for the three.

WINNERS: Shawn Spears & Wardlow in 3:30

(Howard’s Analysis: Destruction, courtesy of The Pinnacle. Nothing more needs to be said.)

(7) JOHN SILVER & 10 (w/Alan Angels) vs. REN JONES & ZACHARIAH

Jones foolishly pie faced 10 start the match and ate a double team shoulder tackle from 10 & Silver. Jones got a boot up to Silver’s face, tagged his partner and Silver lifted both men up in a stalling fireman’s carry into a Samoan Drop. 10 hit a pump kick on Jones and spinebuster on Zachariah. Silver hit a Spin Doctor slam on Zachariah before 10 slapped on the Full Nelson for the quick submission.

WINNERS: John Silver & 10 in 2:00

(Howard’s Analysis: Another win for Silver & 10, who are becoming a regular tag team now that Alex Reynolds has “left” Dark Order for the time being.)

(8) PENELOPE FORD (w/The Bunny) vs. QUEEN AMINATA

Taz point out how he used to do the splits in his early days like Penelope. Aminata used a nice whip into a drop toe hold in the corner, but missed the follow up. Penelope did her springboard double knees on the apron before she took the ref, allowing Bunny to get in some cheap shots. Penelope hit the handspring elbow and running shotgun dropkick before she slapped on the Muta Lock for the submission.

WINNER: Penelope Ford in 2:00

(Howard’s Analysis: Quick, but impressive showing for Ford, who is another woman that’s ready for the Battle Royale.)

-Mark Sterling & Jade Cargill cut a promo on the battle royal. Sterling says the house always wins and the house in this case, Jade says belongs to that bitch.

(9) FRANKIE KAZARIAN vs. DEAN ALEXANDER

Kazarian worked the arm early before Alexander got a cheap shot in, hitting a springboard stomp to the chest. Kazarian ran into a big boot, but Alexander couldn’t hit the powerbomb follow up. Kazarian floated through, hit a series of back elbows and huge lariat. Kazarian hit a corner double knees that led to the Chicken Wing submission.

WINNER: Frankie Kazarian in 2:30

(Howard’s Analysis: Quick solid showing from The Elite Hunter, who commentary really put over will be watching things during the Steel Cage match on Sunday at All Out.)

(10) JADE CARGIL (w/Mark Sterling) vs. BLAIR ONYX

Onyx got off one slap to Jade before being planted with a spinebuster and pump kick. Jade hit Jaded for the quick win.

WINNER: Jade Cargill in 47 seconds.

(Howard’s Analysis: Jade squashes are perfect, but she’s going to eventually need to go deeper into matches. It’s fine for now, but it’s something that needs to happen.)

-Thunder Rosa is the final woman to cut a promo on the Battle Royale. She talks about Nyla Rose & Jade Cargill being unsuccessful trying to take her out. She also tells Britt Baker she can no longer dodge her. She’s absolutely my pick to win at All Out, unless they choose to hold off on the Baker vs. Rosa match longer?

(11) JUNGLE BOY & LUCHASAURUS (w/Marko Stunt) vs. CHAOS PROJECT (Luther & Serpentico)

Taz brings me so much joy singing Tarzan Boy every week Jungle Boy is on. Serpentico got off one arm drag and celebrated mightily. Jungle Boy pressed Serpentico high over his head with a gorilla press slam. Luther tagged in and was immediately dropped with a nice arm drag to pop the crowd. Luther hit a suplex that was more like a brainbuster before he used Serpentico, body slamming his partner onto Jungle Boy. Chaos Project kept Jungle Boy isolated for a few minutes, including a vicious short enziguri. Serpentico tried a somersault off the top, but Jungle Boy got the knees up and fought his way to a hot tag to Luchasaurus, who cleaned house. Luchasaurus lit Serpentico up with strikes and nice reverse wheelbarrow slam. Luther stopped a chokeslam from happening, eating a tail whip for his troubles. Jurassic Express hit the Thorassic Express for the win.

WINNERS: Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus in 5:34

(Howard’s Analysis: I’ll continue to say this, hearing the crowd sing along to Tarzan Boy never gets old. It’s also great seeing the amount of youngsters that love Jurassic Express. This was filmed to end the tapings at Rampage last night, so this was sending the crowd home happy.)

-After the match, C.M. Punk’s music hit and asked why Excalibur & Taz were still there. Punk offered a handshake to Excalibur, who legit couldn’t see due to wearing a mask, which was hysterical. Punk sang a bit of Tarzan Boy and thanked the crowd for singing wrestlers entrance songs. Punk asked why Marko was sitting in the corner and Taz points out he was standing. Punk said he was tasked with “sending the crowd home happy” and he shook all Jurassic Expresses hands. Punk thanked everyone and broke out into the Golden Girls theme, which brought me so much joy, even if it confused Jungle Boy because he’s too young for the show, which is depressing. Punk told Jungle Boy to be brushed up on his Bea Arthur because he will sing this every show until he learns the words to it. He said AEW doesn’t need people who hate watch stuff just to hate it which led to a loud Shut the F Up chant. Punk says AEW is all about positivity and good times, he doesn’t want to fight Luchasaurus, but tells Jungle Boy someday he’ll kick his ass. This was a fantastic way to send the fans home happy.

FINAL THOUGHTS: This was pretty much a show to get over a bunch of the ladies in the Casino Battle Royale tomorrow night and it did the job. I hope Julia Hart is ok, but her getting hurt in the match seemed like she was going to be out, thus explaining the attack backstage later on. As for the rest of the show, the Sky Blue reaction was the best part of the episode, with the C.M. Punk stuff at the end being fantastic as well. Seeing Punk put over young talent like this is awesome, even though it’s heartbreaking Jungle Boy doesn’t know the words to Thank You for Being a Friend. I love the Golden Girls, so I loved the end of this episode of Dark.


CATCH-UP: 8/31 AEW DARK TV REPORT: Pac vs. Matt Sydal, Statlander vs. Grey, Conti vs. Reckless, more

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