SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW COLLISION REPORT
AUGUST 12, 2023
LEXINGTON, KY. AT RUPP ARENA
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
Ring Announcer: Dasha Gonzalez
-Soundbites aired with Christian (w/Luchasaurus), Darby Allin, Jay White (w/Juice Robinson, The Gunns, the Jay White cardboard cutout), Dalton Castle (w/The Boys), and Samoa Joe.
-The Collision opening aired to Elton John’s “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting.”
-Kevin Kelly was back from his New Japan G1 duties and introduced the show as the camera panned the crowd.
(1) SAMOA JOE vs. THE GOLDEN VAMPIRE
The Golden Vampire (dressed as a Ding Dong in a yellow bodysuit) attacked Joe at ringside. He shoved the ref down. A few fans began chanting “C.M. Punk!” He landed a running knee and then a GTS. (Not the best GTS.) He unmasked and said, “I accept your challenge, bitch!”
WINNER: No contest.
(Keller’s Analysis: They’re not going to start Collision with a squash, so you knew something was likely up here. The only problem is Punk sorta passed for a wimpy hapless jobber as those body suits aren’t the most flattering on most people. He seemed to get a nice crowd reaction, though.)
-They went to Kelly and Nigel on camera who threw to a brief video package on All In narrated by Tony Khan. Kelly said “more tickets have been sold to All In than any other wrestling event.”
(2) JAY WHITE (w/Bullet Club Gold) vs. DALTON CASTLE (w/The Boys)
Jay White made his ring entrance first with the rest of the Bullet Club Gold. When Castle came out with the Boys, he said he’s going to suplex White so hard, “his brains are going to come out his butt.” The bell rang 10 minutes into the hour. At 3:00, White avoided a charging Castle in the corner, so Castle tumbled over the top rope. The Gunns and Juice chased The Boys around ringside. White dropped Castle over the ring apron. They cut to a split-screen break at 4:00. [c/ss]
Castle scored a near fall after a suplex into a leverage pin. Nigel said that’d have been “somewhat of an upset.” White took over and chopped Castle against the announce desk. Kelly yelled, “Come on, man!” White reset the count, then Castle head scissored White to the floor. The Gunns and Juice surrounded Castle. The Boys leaped over the top rope and dove onto the Gunns and Juice. Jay took over in the ring and hit a uranage for a two count at 11:00. White finished Castle with a Saito suplex and a Blade Runner.
WINNER: White in 12:00. [c]
-Schiavone interviewed Bullet Club Gold after the break. White told Kenny Omega that he hopes he’s paying attention because he doesn’t want him to be exposed at the biggest pro wrestling event of all time at Wembley Stadium, so he better stay in the bed he’s in. He said Kenny and his friends have deceived all of the fans into believing The Elite were the peak of Bullet Club. Austin Gunn said their friends are “way juicier and way more rock hard and way more eliter than you.” Colten Gunn said they’re now the top gunslingers. Austin told TK to send three wrestlers out to help them get warmed up.
(3) THE IRON SAVAGES (Beefcake Boulder & Bear Bronson) & JACKED JAMESON vs. COLTEN & AUSTIN GUNN & JUICE ROBINSON
White sat next to Kelly with a White cardboard cutout with him. They cut to a break a few minutes in. [c]
Back from the break, Savage slammed Juice onto Colten. He then splashed them and scored a two count. Juice overshot a front wheel kick on Bronson but grazed his shoulder. He then finished him with a face plant.
WINNER: Juice & The Gunns in 9:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: White was entertaining on commentary. It’s good to see him get some time on the mic on Collision to establish his persona with viewers unfamiliar with him. The match was pretty good, too.)
-Kelly threw to a video package on the Billy Gunn retirement storyline and then a House of Black video where they put his boots in a trash compactor as Malakai Black spoke in a spooky sinister voice. [c]
-A video package aired with Jose the Assistant talking on the phone with Rush who spoke in Spanish to him. His words were translated to English in captions. He said he wanted a faction of badasses and real killers and he wants the whole group in Mexico including Jose. Jose nodded and said, “Okay.” Then they cut to Mexico where Preston Vance and Dralistico were partying at a club in a street. Jose watched a black SUV show up where guys in black masks dragged Vance and Dralistico away. The screen said, “To be continued.”
-Schiavone interviewed Ricky Starks backstage about his suspension. Starks said Schiavone was wrong when he said last week he was suspended for 30 days, but it was actually four weeks. Starks said he’s already served half of it. Starks said he’s beginning to think AEW is a non-profit organization with people like Schiavone making mistakes left and right. “And I’m the one who has to suffer for it.” He said he meant it when he said he’s going to bring war and chaos to AEW. In walked Big Bill. Starks said he’s going to start tonight.
-A vignette aired with Starks saying he has been distracted and lost his soul. He said people took his kindness for weakness. “This is who I’ve been all along,” he said. “One thing and one thing only. I am absolute.” He struck a pose.
(4) BIG BILL (w/Ricky Starks) vs. DARRIN NEAL
Kelly said “Darrin Neal is as tough as they come.” (Really?) Nigel said there will be 90,000 fans in attendance next Sunday.
WINNER: Bill in under 1:00.
-Afterward, Starks whipped Neal with his belt.
(Keller’s Analysis: Bill is big, but nondescript and sorta defined down as a mid-card big guy so far in AEW, so having Starks manage him out of nowhere feels weird. And having him tower over Starks makes Starks look small by comparison. I want to see what they have in mind, but I’m not clear on why Starks has become a manager. Is it really just so he has an excuse to be on TV during his wrestling suspension? Starks’s promo was good and he’s coming across more confident and like a bigger star in how he’s being presented and reset in this heel role.)
-A vignette aired of Sting showing up at A.R. Fox’s wrestling school for an indy show and attacking A.R. Fox and then Darby hitting a Coffin Drop. Soundbites aired with Darby and Nick Wayne. Nick asked Swerve and Fox if he should stick to his morals he was taught growing up or if he should resort to their level. Darby said he could have finished him there, but he’ll wait until Wembley.
-Nigel said Darby & Nick face Swerve & Fox on Dynamite this Wednesday. [c]
[HOUR TWO]
(5) WILLOW NIGHTINGALE vs. DIAMANTE
With Willow in control early, Mercedes Martinez walked out. Diamante took over and they cut to a split screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Willow was in control and landed a boot to Diamante’s face. Diamante rolled up Willow for a near fall in a brief hope spot, but Willow took over again right away. She leaped off the second rope with a flying dropkick. When Martinez yanked Diamante to safety, Willow yelled down at her. Kris Statlander charged at Martinez at ringside and attacked her, including suplexing her onto the ramp. Willow then pounced on Diamante at ringside. She lowered her straps and pounded her chest and roared. Back in the ring, Willow hit a Doctor Bomb for the win.
WINNER: Willow in 11:00.
-A video package aired on The Young Bucks vs. FTR. A clip aired of the Bucks at the press conference launching AEW. Cash Wheeler said they respect the Bucks, but they think they’re better. Dax said they came away from their match before as the AEW Tag Team Champions.
-Lexi Nair interviewed Toni Storm backstage. Storm said she didn’t know who Nair was, but said the person she replaced was rude. Nair asked if Saraya will be loyal to her in the four-way match for the AEW Women’s Title at Wembley. Storm said the friendship of The Outcasts is not to be questioned and she will become the first-ever three-time AEW Women’s Champion. Storm walked off, but threw something at Nair afterward.
(6) POWERHOUSE HOBBS vs. KEVIN KU
Nigel questioned whether Hobbs was behind the attack on Miro last week by Q.T. Marshall and his guys. Kelly said, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Hobbs landed a spinebuster to win.
WINNER: Hobbs in 2:00.
-Afterward, Hobbs put Ku in a camel clutch to taunt Miro. Miro appeared on the big screen and said he too once relied on a book for guidance and he was surrounded him with distractions, but no more. He said his heart breaks, but he isn’t there to feud with his god. He said all out redemption is coming for Hobbs and he’s going to “piss on your cold, dead body.” He said he should pray to him now. Hobbs snarled and then left the ring.
-Kelly and Nigel hyped the “Fyter Fest”-themed Dynamite: Jon Moxley vs. Rey Fenix, Jack Perry retires the FTW Title belt, The Elite vs. Juice & The Gunns, the Chris Jericho-Will Ospreay contract signing, Aussie Open vs. The Hardys, a face-to-face segment with the Bucks and FTR, Skye Blue vs. Ruby Soho, Swerve & Fox vs. Darby & Wayne, and Renee Paquette’s sitdown interview with Adam Cole and MJF. Kelly plugged “an all-star eight-man tag match” next week on Collision. Then they shifted to All In hype. Kelly said it’ll be be just like football with a pre-show at noon ET. A video package aired on MJF and Cole. Kelly and Nigel the hyped the line-up. [c]
(7) DARBY ALLIN vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE (w/Luchasaurus)
Jim Ross joined in on commentary. The bell rang 36 minutes into the hour. Nigel argued with Ross over whether Christian deserves some possession of the TNT Title belt since he helped Luchasaurus win it. They cut to a partial split-screen break with Christian in control. [c/pss]
Christian beat up Darby at ringside and chopped his chest in front of fans. Darby made a comeback at 11:00, kicking Christian as he charged for a spear. Darby sunset-flipped Christian for a two count. Darby grabbed his injured shoulder after Christian’s kickout. Darby jumped Christian and yanked his shirt over his head. They butted heads and both went down. They cut to another break at 12:00. [c/ss]
Darby put Christian on a chair at ringside and then leaped off the top rope and hit a dropkick. Both were down and slow to get up. Christian tried to roll out of the ring a minute later, but he stopped on the ring apron. Darby went for a Coffin Drop off the top rope toward Christian, but Luchasaurus yanked him out of his path. Darby crashed. Fans chanted “Holy shit!” Luchasaurus threw a chair into the ring. As the ref got rid of the chair and kicked Luchasaurus to the back, Christian hit Darby with the TNT belt and made the cover. Darby put his leg across the bottom rope to stop the ref’s count. Fans stood and chanted, “This is awesome!”
Christian hit a great spear that Darby took a great bump for leading to a convincing near fall. Darby then surprised Christian with a jackknife pin for the win. As Darby’s music played, Kelly plugged a big week of AEW events.
WINNER: Darby in 20:00.
-Schiavone interviewed Darby in the ring. He told Darby he knows he’s spent, but he gets his chance at the TNT Title in two weeks at All Out in Chicago. Luchasaurus and Christian returned to the ring and attacked Darby. They made Schiavone count Darby’s shoulders down for a three count. They made him announce afterward, “Ladies and gentleman, still TNT Champion, Christian Cage.” He looked totally defeated. Luchasaurus put Christian on his shoulders to celebrate with the belt. They showed Swerve and Fox laughing backstage at Darby being laid out like that.
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