SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Welcome ladies, gentlemen and children to another herpes-slapping, fatty-mocking, Rock-blocking evening of family entertainment. And it’s pre-recorded, which means absolutely ANYTHING can happen. The surprises will be bountiful, the shocks innumerable, and the results unspoiled, as long as AEW doesn’t read them on Rampage. But who would ever dare read a competitor’s results on the air? Who? WHO?! Who Could Wallow in such insecurities? Okay, there was way too much there for any semblance of coherence to land…just like the Road to WrestleMania! Let’s dig into the most OVERRATED and UNDER-APPRECIATED moments from tonight’s (recorded last) Friday Night Smackdown.
OVERRATED – BASELESS PRESUMPTIONS
Corey Graves just said “Obviously Bianca isn’t wrestling tonight, because she has her sights set on the chamber tomorrow.” Why is that obvious when you just advertised Drew McIntyre versus L.A. Knight for a match…on the eve of the chamber? Same with Liv Morgan versus Tiffany Stratton. If anything, you’re making Bianca look entitled or cowardly by “obviously” not competing on the eve of the chamber.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – …WITH EVERYBODY ACCESSORIZING
I’m normally more fashion-backward than forward, but I think I’m justified in pointing out L.A. Knight’s top-notch bomber jacket, and a cell phone case that matches his red-tastic shirt. If Seth Rollins has taught us anything, it’s that eccentric fashion thrusts you to the top, or at least the ledge before the top, of the WWE mountain.
OVERRATED – COWARDLY COMMENTARY
Wait, wait, wait. If Corey Graves is to be believed, then Bianca Belair is “Obviously not wrestling with her sights set on the chamber”, to watch two people fight on the eve of the chamber that she’ll be facing? Faces should be bold, not cowardly. Thank you Corey Graves, for teaching all of us the true meaning of hypocrisy.
OVERRATED – DATED THEME SONGS
Why does Tiffany Stratton’s theme song sound like a 98 degrees song? That said, I think it would be hilarious if Tiffy Time was back-in-time, and her character was completely stuck in the ‘90s with dated slang, references and style to boot.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SHARING FEELINGS
I’d like to hear what people think of their ratings. Tiffany Stratton getting a 79 seems like juicy fodder for her to cut a promo on.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – VILLAINY AT A RUGRATS LEVEL
Tiffany Stratton is about as green as an unripe banana, but her little audible quips of mockery during the match are great. She’s like Angelica from Rugrats, just putting everyone down. Also, their voices are identical. Google it and you’re welcome for that revelation. Kudos to me for doubling down on my ‘90s joke. I’m going to give myself a D.I.Y. pat on the back.
OVERRATED – DEFYING PHYSICS
Why do both of these women think spinning, and or doing somersaults before a move, gives it more impact. I’m not a physicist, but I’ve seen Oppenheimer and I’m fairly sure he’d say, with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, that this just doesn’t make sense.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – STOMPING FACES
This match is greener than Scrooge McDuck’s money pit, but Tiffany Stratton’s stomp to Liv Morgan’s face was brutal. It’s almost like she doesn’t want her to “Liv forever”. Tiffy Time might be off by several minutes still, but that was a gorgeous combo of coincidental timing and selling. Sometimes awesomeness can be unintentional, and accidentally serendipitous.
OVERRATED – NO LIVE MIC FOR BIANCA?
How on Earth are you going to have Bianca Belair ringside, and not give her a live mic? She’s a fantastic talker that would have simultaneously elevated this match, and the hype for The Elimination Chamber. Instead, WWE just sat her there, looking like Jessica Rabbit while she smiles and bobs her head like she’s riding a pleasantly slow rollercoaster. I don’t think EST should be added to quietEST.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LIVIN’ IT UP
Liv Morgan’s punches and kicks have grown tremendously over the last year. She looks more comfortable and has sparks of explosiveness that I hope to see continue to improve. I wouldn’t say she’s gold in the ring yet, but that kip up was sterling silver at the very least.
OVERRATED – WASTING BIANCA BELAIR AT WRESTLEMANIA
It seems like it’s going to be Tiffany Stratton versus Bianca Belair at WrestleMania. I’m all for building new stars, but not when it diminishes a powerhouse like Bianca. She’s at another level. She has a show on Hulu for crying out loud (cheap plug because I worked on it). Having her feud with Stratton leading into ‘Mania feels like someone gave me a golden spoon and a box of Lucky Charms. No knock on Lucky Charms, but a golden spoon deserves something classy, like Rice Krispies…or Kix. Mikey likes it, and I hear that decades of royalties got him a house in the Hamptons.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE SCOTTISH SASQUATCH
Seeing Drew “The Scottish Sasquatch” McIntyre stand next to Kayla Braxton is like watching a really awkward speed dating meet-up for smaller people who have a thing for abnormally tall mates. This juxtaposition is wildly effective for making Drew look monstrous, but I also would love to see a segment where Kayla has to use a boom mic to interview him. It’s all about the LITTLE things, folks. Life is too SHORT to not enjoy. Anyway, Drew is making tonight’s match, the chamber, and WrestleMania sound so epic in scale as far as stakes. The man is literally painting a Picasso of dominoes that will fall, taking his entire life with it, if he loses even one of these upcoming matches. I’ve heard of a pity party but this is like a self-deprecating rave. I’m here for it. Hit that music, DJ. I also love that he’s keeping C.M. Punk in the conversation so they can feud the second he’s back. Honest to God, I think Drew could sell a tropical timeshare to a snowman with the promos he’s cutting lately. Even if he can’t, he’ll just pray for the snowman’s home to burn down so he HAS to find somewhere else to live. The power of Christ compels him, after all.
OVERRATED – THE ALLRIGHTY BOBBY LASHLEY
Wait, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley fought at WrestleMania 37?! I have absolutely zero recollection of that. I feel like I just fell into an alternate timeline where that (most likely) lackluster match occurred. I feel like someone just told me about the infamous genie movie starring Sinbad that everyone remembers but doesn’t actually exist. Seriously, look it up. It’ll mess with your head more than finding out that those lovable bear books from the ‘90s were The Berenstain Bears and not The Berenstein Bears. Anyway, segues are weird. Back to wrestling. Clearly that gem of a match between The Scottish mid-carder and the allrighty Bobby Lashley stood the test of time. I’m going to give myself another D.I.Y. pat on the back for that wordsmithery. Here I am rambling about children’s books instead of what mediocre highlights could have emerged from such a matchup. To be fair though, the only real ‘Mania memories I have of Lashley involve a former president, a former chairmen, and some hair clippers.
OVERRATED – LEFT TURNS
Gee, a hard sell for NASCAR in the middle of Friday Night Smackdown. Nothing says sports entertainment like Tide and left turns. Thank you Wade Barrett, for being the bearer of fad news. That said, I do love Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Shake and bake, WWE! Shake and BAKE!
OVERRATED – FASHION (NON)SENSE
What in The Devil Wears Prada is this outfit experimentation segment? Ashante “Thee” Adonis and Cedric Alexander are given valuable screen time in a two hour show just to highlight a writer’s joke about how ripped pants make Cedric look like he got into a fight with a cat. Thank you for the closeup of the rips, WWE, otherwise I may not have gotten the joke. Facepalm. Oh look, another outfit and another joke. If we’re going to write clever quips, can we at least make sure companies are still in business? Babies-R-Us went under years ago. Also why is Adonis mocking Alexander’s fashion choices when he’s dressed like a Michael Jackson impersonator from the waist up, and Mick Foley from the waist down? Writing aside, this acting is about as believable as a toddler standing in a pile of broken plates explaining that someone else did it. Adonis looked like it caused him physical pain to say “I can’t get jiggy with it” with a straight face. The only good line in this segment was when Adonis said Cedric looks like money and Cedric replied with “you must be talking about crypto.” My gut tells me that was an ad lib because it was the only believably-delivered line in the segment, and truthfully the only good one. This was painful. I felt like I was watching paint dry with a painted over fly struggling to trudge his way out of the muck solidifying around him.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PROGRESSIVE MATCH FLO
I love this segment title. Flo is a legend. I wish they’d figure out a way to work her into a WWE segment. Hell, can’t we just do a match at ‘Mania between her and Jake from State Farm? Forget about unsanctioned matches. This would be the first uninsurable match! I don’t even remember what they’re about to lead into because the branding that the segment is brought to us by…just brought the house down. Anything else is about as forgettable as a “Live Event” Jimmy Uso run in. Oh…I see. We’re recapping Jimmy’s latest attempt to hang on to “Main Event” Jey Uso’s coattails. I am honestly not excited in the least for a brother versus brother match at WrestleMania. Jey has been on fire the last few months, and they’re throwing water on his momentum by dragging him down with his twin in everything but mullety looks, career accolades, crowd response, merch sales, the ability to get a single word over, and getting thousands of people to wave their hands like they DO care. I wish they had something better for Jey than this “Lame Event” both Usos match.
OVERRATED – A.D.D.
After all of this writing, you’d think we’d be farther into the show. Nope. We’re only 30 minutes in, the night is young, and my A.D.D. is ready to go full YEET. Did I use that right? Does it matter? To YEET or not to YEET, that is a pointless question. So, let’s keep mining for completely inconsequential highlights!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – STAR POWER
It’s amazing how glaringly obvious it is when they don’t have enough big stars on hand to work into segments on a show. This is starting to feel like the fourth installment of The Expendables, where the luster of big names has worn off, no one new and exciting is worth paying attention to, and we’re just getting a bunch of callbacks to better movies. I’m not bitter that the franchise took a nosedive, I’m just sad that the good times we had are gone. I’ll always love you, Expendables 2.
OVERRATED – SOLO SIKOA’S THUMB
Unless Solo Sikoa is hitting the gym daily doing thumb presses, and his opposable digit has somehow built muscle, I just can’t buy that a thumb could do that much damage. For crying out loud, it’s bandaged to the brim. He must have broken it 406 times. I honestly think if we unravel the force behind the Samoan spike, we’re going to find the thumb equivalent of a shriveled and decayed mummy. He must be terrible at WWE2K24…which is on shelves March 8th. You too can finish the story, unless you encounter the impossible force of a human thumb, wielded by a guy who can’t fully commit to a mohawk. Sikoa’s thumb is powerful up, down or jammed into a human throat. Just don’t thumb your nose or you could Nia Jaxx yourself and end up with a Becky Lynch nosebleed that could be SEEN from the nosebleeds. That could also be because she went into the crowd, and everyone there that night had 20/20 vision, but I digress. I love long rambling callbacks. I guess you could say I speak WWE.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LEAVING JIMMY HANGING
Okay, Jimmy Uso getting left hanging for a high five is the absolute best gimmick he’s ever had. His lonely hand is now more over than he has ever been. That said, it IS attached to him, so if he plays it up, he’ll get pulled along for the ride. Seeing him go for a high five to Roman Reigns, get rejected, then try to salvage one with Solo Sikoa was subtle brilliance. Jimmy, this is your thing. You’re the handyman. You’re the guy always trying to fit in, who laughs at the joke when you don’t get it, wants to high five at all the wrong times. Own it. I’m here for it. If you start selling merch with “Don’t leave me hangin’ Uce”, I’ll buy one for me and one for a friend. Honorable mention to Roman’s flawless ability to create horrifying silences, as in when he asked Jimmy who sent him to Raw. He is just the king of creating awkward silences deep enough to throw the entire 24/7 Title division into. Whatever happened to that by the way? It disappeared faster than Butch at a Pete Dunne party.
OVERRATED – UNNECESSARY LETTERS
I still find it so hard to take Bron Breakker seriously when he feels the need to over-letter his name. Do we really need to spell his last name wrong just to be cool? And is it actually cool to add an extra ‘k’, one shy of a publicity nightmare? If we’re going to play with letters, why don’t we at least do what singer The Weeknd does, and eliminate vowels? They’re overrated and cost extra on Wheel of Fortune anyway. Let’s go minimalist versus making a name look gaudy. Okkay? Do you sseee my ppoint, WWEEE?
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SLEEP
WWE, I love you. I truly do, and we’ve been going strong for a while. I respect your need to do a big show in another time zone, and I’ll always be there for you, before sunrise or not, but can you PLEASE stop reminding me that I’m going to be exhausted all of Saturday, for waking up pre-dawn for your 4-match premium live event down under? I’ll be there, but I’m still not happy about it.
OVERRATED – SOMEWHAT IGNORING FAMILY LEGACIES
I like that WWE isn’t shying away from highlighting who Bron Breakker’s father is, but why not go full Cody Rhodes and give him his daddy’s surname? Bron Steiner sounds a helluva lot better than Bron Breakker in my humble opinion. Honorable mention to Dante Chen and his adorable face paint, that Bron is about to turn to blood, bruising and jobber regret.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – BRON’S INTENSITY
My God, Bron Breakker can take something as simple as a body check and turn it into an explosive work of art. Seriously, his moves pop faster than popcorn, and hit harder than the crack of a wooden bat on a baseball. I also love his calm aftermath cadence after he delivers a violent move. It’s almost like he has to recharge his special meter. This guy is a gold mine built on top of an oil field. He is pure money. He’s so fast, that the cameras almost can’t even find him in time, and I am absolutely on board for this ride. I’ll wait in line for hours for this roller coaster, and if I have to, I’ll buy one of those overpriced skip-the-line tickets to get on sooner. This is an in-ring it-factor that you just can’t teach. He was quite literally born and bred to do this. I like to think that the Steiner compound is something akin to Sparta, where they only keep the strong babies and throw the rest into a bottomless pit.
OVERRATED – DANTE CHEN’S SPINE
I don’t necessarily think the human spine is overrated. I think it’s a vital part of the human anatomy, the coolest part of a skeleton, and a great tapestry to adorn with tattoos (looking at you Seth Rollins). I’m just trying to make Dante Chen feel better after Bron Breakker destroyed his spinal column faster than WWE pivoted their ‘Mania main event. I love everything about Bron’s presentation except for his Tourette’s-like barking. I’m honestly concerned he’s going to pull a muscle in his neck or embarrass me in public.
OVERRATED – J.D. MCDONAGH
Oh joy. Another Friday night, another J.D. McWannabe in the Judgment Day match. Luckily, J.D. has human heat magnet Dominik Mysterio with him to keep the crowd on their feet. Otherwise, I honestly think J.D. could wrestle in a library with a massive crowd, and no one would irritate the librarian. Side note, I’ve been trying to figure out who McDonagh reminds me of, and I finally cracked it. He’s like Hugh Grant as an Oompa Loompa in Wonka, if said Oompa Loompa hit the gym more, got a spray tan, and grew his hair out just long enough for an adolescent-level man bun. You can’t have my chocolate McDonagh. I don’t care how many times you do that catchy rhyming jingle and dance to it. Doopity do not come near my stash.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – A GOOD ENTRANCE
Tyler Bate desperately needs to work on his entrance bravado and mannerisms. He looks like a kid in a talent show who gets stage fright and just does random things with his body. I half expected him to break into full Napoleon Dynamite dance moves with the awkwardness he exudes by standing and non-posing the way he does. Gosh (he says in a Napoleon Dynamite voice), I’m trying to be a WWE superstar, what do you think? Luckily, Pete Dunne and his fur vest of fury has enough swagger for the both of them.
OVERRATED – PETE DUNNE’S TAUNT
I still don’t understand Pete Dunne’s taunt of punching his own chin. Is this a show of masculinity? Is he so tough that only he can punch himself? Does he come from a long line of dentists and is trying to manually correct his jawline? Or is he just doing a really aggressive male model pose?
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SOMERSAULTS
It seems so simple, but watching Tyler “Napoleon Dynamite” Bate somersaulting around the ring is wildly entertaining. He takes a juvenile act of athleticism, and elevates it to badass bravado. That’s wrestling skill right there folks. If I did even one of those my back would be thrown out for a week. But Bate seems like he could do this for hours. Honorable mention to Tyler Bate doing a wheelbarrow walk with McDonagh’s neck hooked inside his ankles, all the way to the turnbuckle for an improvised hurricanrana. This guy is like a spider monkey after drinking a 12-oz can of Red Bull, and discovering a trampoline in his backyard. Bate is like a bleached blonde Spider-Man, but without all the sappy loyalty to his inexplicably attractive aunt. With Bate power comes Bate responsibility.
OVERRATED – WEAKEST LINKS
Wade Barrett just referred to Dominik Mysterio and J.D. McDonagh as the lesser members of The Judgment Day. I’m the captain of the McDonagh Non-Fan club, but even I don’t think such comments help with keeping the second most over faction in WWE, credible. Yes, when it comes to being weak, J.D. is the EST of that moniker. But, Dominik has unrivaled heat right now and they shouldn’t be watering him down in any capacity. The guy is a straight shot of bitter tequila, it hurts to be around him but man is he a good time after you warm up to him.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – YOUR FINGERS ARE DUNNE
I will never get sick of watching Pete Dunne disassemble peoples fingers. It looks so violent and painful. Here’s hoping that Godzilla meets King Kong someday when it’s Dunne’s finger breaking versus Solo Sikoa’s thumb. It will be a match for the ages that you’ll be able to catch on DIGITal media. I’m not trying to point any fingers, but if WWE doesn’t do this someday, it’s a missed opportunity. Special shout outs to the double stomp on Dominik’s fingers, McDonagh’s soccer kick, and Bate’s failed turnbuckle exit. These were all rainbow sprinkles on an already sweet match.
OVERRATED – DOMINIK MYSTERIO’S THREE PLATONIC FRIENDS
I love seeing Dominik Mysterio’s swagger when he’s mocking his uncle (or real father) Eddie Guerrero’s signature three amigos move. That said, Dominik performed it incredibly clunky, making it feel more like three platonic friends versus three amigos. He redeemed it with arrogant mockery mid-move though. He has really come into his own as a heel. I pop every time
He sticks his tongue out, and confidently flexes his non-biceps. Dom is right at home in front of a sea of hate. He’s truly like a pig in sh*t that loves the mucky warmth of his surroundings.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KEVIN OWENS DRIVES THE COMEDIC RANGE TRAIN
This backstage segment with Kevin Owens, Logan Paul, Austin Theory, Grayson Waller and Paul Heyman was short, effective, hilarious, and elevated everyone in the brief interaction. The humor in this scene was like syrup on virtually any breakfast food. It improved the flavor of everything. There were so many amazing layers of good writing, and likely improvisation, this warrants dissecting piece by piece like a fine rack of ribs. The beginning of the segment with a ping ponging of the Paul Rudd-made famous “Look at us” between a couple of arrogant heels was fantastic. It was so simple, yet so effective. Next up, Kevin Owens saying he feels weird standing next to Waller was subtly hilarious. No context given. No context needed. Then, Owen’s telling Logan that he hopes he tries to bring the brass knuckles to Perth, so he gets caught at customs was a smart quip that didn’t just settle for the obvious low hanging fruit. Owens trusted the audience to get a tad more of a high-brow joke, and it really paid off. Owens is in his element when he is subtle and snarky in with his insults, and always acts just a tiny bit smarter than everyone else. My personal favorite line in the entire segment was Owens asking Theory, in a completely deadpan manner, “Where’s your shirt?” Valid question, Kevin. Then Heyman entered the scene to invite/order Waller to go see The Tribal Chief. The look on his face seemed like a kid getting a golden ticket to Hollywood on American Idol, which is both justified over-acting, and the kind of reverence Roman Reigns should be treated with by fellow heels. I also laughed my shirt off when Logan Paul and Theory wallowed in self-pity about wanting to hang out with The Tribal Chief too, before bookending the segment with another round of “Look at us” exchanges. This is how backstage segments should be. It was quick, didn’t overstay its welcome, every line was worth listening to, and everyone involved came out with a comedic rub that improved their character.
OVERRATED – INEXPLICABLE FACE TURNS
Am I the only one that doesn’t remember the moment when The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley turned face again? Granted, this is where they belong. Lashley can swim in either pond with his mediocre commitment to either role, but Montez Ford Angelo Dawkins ooze charisma. Having them as stoic heels was the biggest waste of what the kids call “rizz”, since Will Smith starred in After Earth. If you have characters with the it-factor, don’t muffle their personalities. Let them shine. To loosely steal a reference from Mark Wahlberg in The Other Guys, they’re peacocks and you gotta let them fly! So while I’m incredibly confused as to why this faction is happy and gleeful now, I’m here for it. They belong in this lane.
OVERRATED – THE ROCK PROMOTES THE NON-XFL XFL
Having The Rock promote The United Football league as being built on the legacy of The XFL, is like telling me a harvest of corn was grown using cow manure. I know it, but I don’t want to think about it, or it’s going to ruin the taste before I even take a butter-doused first bite.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KEEPING FANS ENGAGED
Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins are probably two of the only people in the WWE that can keep an entire arena engaged, energetic and on fire throughout an entire commercial break. These guys are the human embodiment of 5-hour Energy.
OVERRATED – THE AUTHORS OF MUNDANE
I’m sorry, but The Authors of Pain still just don’t do anything for me. I think they should have had a few weeks of dominant squashes to build back up their credibility. Right now, they still feel like they’re just cos-playing an unhelpful version of the A.P.A. and to that I say…DAMN.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – EQUALIZING TAG TEAM MEMBERS
Commentary building up Angelo Dawkins as the powerhouse of The Street Profits is smart. It gives him his own identity that keeps him from falling into the Matt Hardy, lesser star moniker. Montez Ford’s jack-in-the-box drop kicks speak for themselves. Focusing on building up Dawkins simultaneously only heightens the team’s star power as a collective whole. Honorable mention to Dawkins’ inexplicable agility. How can a guy of his physique move like a lucha libre wrestler? It’s truly impressive, and I think he’ll have a good run as a singles star when they break up. Don’t hate the messenger. It’s WWE, and teams get together to break up. It’s just science.
OVERRATED – AUTHORS OF PUNCH
Watching an Authors of Pain match feels like watching a slow motion version of Rocky. It’s just a bunch of slow-paced punches and grunts. I’m bored. On a side note, Karrion Kross’ name is fitting because he has resting cross face. He seems like the kind of guy that gets grumpy on Christmas because the tree lights are too bright.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PERFECTLY TIMED SHOTS
The camera guy who caught Montez Ford’s face as he screamed in terror as he was being launched out of the ring, deserves a raise and a chance to shoot an action movie. That was just glorious. I have no idea which one of the Authors of Pain threw him out, but it doesn’t really matter. I feel like I’m watching Batman & Robin after getting hit in the head, and I’m seeing two bad actors play a cheesy version of Bane. Authors of Bane aside, huge props to Ford for knowing he was on camera and rising to the moment mid-fall.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – UNEXPECTED CHEMISTRY
Excuse me but where did this joyous fire between Karrion Kross and Bobby Lashley come from? I haven’t seen this much intensity from Lashley since he found out he could wear baseball caps to hide the forehead he is incredibly sensitive about. I could see them having a minor feud that leads to an explosive pre-show match at WrestleMania. There’s something special there between those two. I’m getting warm, aggressive vibes of the WWE equivalent of a Hallmark movie from these two. Just replace Christmas with violence
OVERRATED – AUTHORS OF LAME
Having The Authors of Pain go over The Street Profits (in an epic battle of teams that start with “The”), is the right choice, but their credibility just doesn’t seem to be working. They feel very generic, unimposing, and honestly just not dangerous. I think they need to engage in a brutal beat down outside the confines of a match so they don’t seem like rule followers, which really waters them down. Side note: I’m half expecting J.D. McDonagh to try to weasel his way into the group. Sorry, J.D., but you and the Authors of Lame belong in the same boat…that I hope gets blown off to some distant island of non-relevancy. A.O.P. doesn’t even seem to buy into their own toughness. They look like deer in headlights out there. In all seriousness though, I would send A.O.P. back to NXT for a few months to just demolish the entire division, then return stronger with a bunch of highlights that can be utilized in an effective promo reel. They also need a stronger mouthpiece. I honestly wonder, if Roman takes a few months off, if A.O.P. could benefit from some Paul Heyman guidance and wordsmithery.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GOOD ACTING
I think this Dakota Kai angle is the right move but it’s just not believable. They should have shown security footage of Damage Control beating up Kai to make the angle more believable, even if they faked it. This bad acting just doesn’t work, and I think if Bailey buys into it, it’s going to make her look dumb, gullible and naive.
OVERRATED – WEIRD STILLS
This match graphic of Drew McIntyre versus L.A. Knight oddly looks like the megastar just stumbled upon Drew’s nudist colony, and the bare Scotsman really doesn’t want him there.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE TRIBAL CHIEF MEETS GRAYSON WALLER
I love that Roman Reigns has to be formally introduced to Grayson Waller. He considers himself “levels above” everyone so why would he have any idea who Waller is? I find that both character-enhancing for Roman, as well as great comedic fodder for The Bloodline to play with. Special shout out to Waller for looking absolutely petrified being in The Bloodline’s presence. That’s gold, and accolade-warranted. Having Roman say that he has something to tell him but it’s for his ears only, and then cutting away is smart formatting. It gives us foreshadowing for an inevitable reveal, likely at Elimination Chamber. Smart pacing, WWE. See what happens when you take time to tell a story? THE story! The UNFINISHED story! On an unrelated note, did Grayson Waller get his ripped jeans from the same store Cedric Alexander got his cat fight pants?
OVERRATED – DREW MCINTYRE’S PRAYERS
I personally love the Drew McIntyre praying for pain gimmick, but this little cameo of “I’ll pray for you” felt forced. Drew is at his best when this comes out organically in the flow of a promo. This is like Steve Austin throwing around the “Austin 3:16” line for cheap pops. And cheap pops is what they are, because they cheapen a valuable promo that should be left alone.
OVERRATED – POORLY TIMED PYRO
This is the second week in a row that Drew “Blue Flaming Swords” McIntyre’s pyro didn’t line up with his entrance pose. Can someone please give the pyro guy a cup of coffee? It’s like he’s napping back there until someone smacks him, and wakes him up to hit the button.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LOGAN PAUL INVITES HIMSELF TO THE PARTY
Logan Paul unexpectedly joining commentary heightens a relatively dull main event. He’s a shot of charisma in the arm of this filler match. I love how Logan quickly stopped what he was doing to mock the crowd the second they started booing him. He is so good at reading the room, and making his timing count with every mannerism. He takes crowd heat and adds an exclamation point to it. It’s inhuman how built for this business Paul is. He’s starting to make Kurt Angle’s early years look like amateur hour…and that’s damn true.
OVERRATED – POORLY THOUGHT OUT RATING
Drew McIntyre is (almost certainly) in the secondary main event of WrestleMania and you belittle him with a meek 89 rating? He’s literally only one point above a quickly cooling L.A. Knight. They should have called an audible here and upgraded his rating for the credibility of his inevitable match with Seth Rollins. We all make mistakes, WWE, but you’ve shown us you can pivot quickly. Do it again. Seriously. I’ll wait…
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LOGAN PAUL LIFTS UP HIS OPPONENTS
Logan Paul does a great job on commentary, especially at hyping his opponents. His line about L.A. Knight, “With pecs like that you gotta be careful” was particularly poetic.
OVERRATED – POOR CHEMISTRY
L.A. Knight and Drew McIntyre don’t click in the ring for me. They both have clunky ebb and flow styles that when put together, slow the pace down so much that I feel like I’m watching Netflix on weak WiFi.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GLASGOW KISS
Drew McIntyre’s headbutt is a thing of pure beauty. It sounds amazing. It looks brutal. It comes outta nowhere so fast that it makes an R.K.O. look about as unsuspecting as a hippo hiding behind a broomstick…or a mop. On a side note, is this the year Moppy finally gets inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame by Perry Saturn? Only time will tell. Honorable mention to Logan Paul’s nervous facial reaction to the Glasgow Kiss. He’s pre-selling the possibility of getting hit with that move and it’s wildly effective. I call that a prEaster egg.
OVERRATED – BAD APPETIZERS
Corey Graves just called L.A. Knight versus Drew McIntyre an “appetizer for Elimination Chamber.” This feels like I ordered calamari and got a plate of old, rubbery disappointment. Sigh. I should have gone with the mozzarella sticks. Live and learn, I suppose.
These guys are both incredibly talented with the right opponents, but their styles are just too similar to create a fluidity needed to keep audiences engaged. This feels like I’m watching the clunky robot from Lost in Space tussle with The Great Khali.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LOGAN PAUL AND KEVIN OWENS GO FULL MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
With this match between Drew McIntyre and L.A. Knight feeling more and more like a bad movie that won’t end, Kevin Owens and Logan Paul hijacking commentary, and going full Mystery Science Theater 3000, is a breath of fresh air. They’re the best part of this entire match and they’re not even in it. Logan and Owens have such a natural chemistry that I could listen to them trade quips like “The only person I like in The Elimination Chamber is Randy Orton”, and “you’re such a negative Nancy” all day long. Honorable mention to Logan Paul calling Kevin Owens the Squidward of the WWE. That’s both a brilliant and totally accurate description of K.O. SpongeBob for the win!
OVERRATED – BAD SELLING ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE
I’m all for avoiding any kind of headshot, but if L.A. Knight is going to repeatedly smash Drew McIntyre’s face into the announce table, can he at least try to sell it a bit? He looks like an exhausted bongo drummer, slapping his hands on the drums without any ounce of effort to follow the beat. Seriously, go back and watch it. You’re welcome. This match ended just as it began, with no ending. Not shocking considering it was just an appetizer for the premium live event at the ungodly hour of 5amET tomorrow.
I’ll be back Monday for a grumpier ride of Raw observations, as I inevitably suffer from a lack of sleep thanks to the pre-dawn joy of watching The Elimination Chamber. See you then!
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