AEW COLLISION RESULTS (8/12): Keller’s report on House of Black vs. Punk & FTR, Willow & Statlander vs. Martinez & Diamante

By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor


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AEW COLLISION REPORT
AUGUST 12, 2023
GREENSBORO, N.C.
AIRED LIVE ON TNT

Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Nigel McGuinness

Ring Announcer: Dasha Gonzalez


[HOUR ONE]

-Soundbites aired with The Acclaimed, Christian with Luchasaurus, and FTR & C.M. Punk.

-The Collision opening, “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” aired.

-Ian Riccaboni and Nigel McGuinness hyped All In and All Out.

-Clips aired of last week’s Ricky Starks attack on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.

-Tony Schiavone introduced Starks who came out scattered boos. Nigel talked about how Starks made a mistake putting his feet on the middle rope to try to get an extra advantage with his pin right in front of Steamboat. Starks showed off the belt he yanked off of Steamboat last week. Schiavone said because of his actions a week ago, he has been suspended 30 days from wrestling in AEW. “You beat a 70 year old man with his own belt, for crying out loud!” exclaimed Schiavone. Starks said there have to be consequences for your actions no matter your age. He said Steamboat cost him the match, so he had to whoop his ass. He said every parent understands; he said he loves Steamboat, but he had to do something to him that hurt him more than it hurt Steamboat.

Starks said AEW has a history of screwing over good guys like himself. He said if people want to play in his face like he’s some kind of joke. He said he got a manager’s license, so while he can’t wrestle, he can still be on the show every week “because it’s my show.” He yanked the mic from Schiavone and yelled, “This is my freakin’ legacy!” Quite a few fans stood and cheered. Starks said you don’t have to like him, but you have to respect him. He threatened to whoop Schiavone’s ass if he kept looking at him a certain way. He told Punk the blood is on his hands because he’s the one who brought Steamboat to the ring. He said he can live with his L, but can Punk live with his W?

Starks said he is proclaiming that he is “going to set this whole damn company on fire” and he’s going to start next week. He said he’s going to bring a war to the front door and make everyone understand there isn’t anyone like him in AEW. He threw down the mic and left.

(Keller’s Analysis: Good heel promo from Starks. He still has some fans on his side. It’s odd he’s suspended as a wrestler for 30 days, which would knock him out of All In and All Out. The manager’s license feels like a loophole in his suspension that AEW ought to overrule, storyline-wise. I’m assuming he’s injured or else there’s some other story they’re telling with him that isn’t clear yet.)

-A video package aired on the FTR-Young Bucks rivalry.

(1) THE ACCLAIMED (Max Caster & Anthony Bowens) vs. THE IRON SAVAGES (Bronson & Boulder w/Jacked Jameson)

Caster rapped on his way to the ring, tearing into his opponents and including a reference to Mitch McConnell being at a loss for words. The bell rang 12 minutes into the hour. The announcers noted that Billy Gunn wasn’t there after leaving his boots in the ring last month, usually a sign someone is retiring. The Savages took control of The Acclaimed a couple minutes in and they cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]

After the break, Caster hot-tagged in Bowens who went to work against Boulder. The Savages took over again. They took a while to set up a double-team move where Boulder lifted Bronson onto his shoulders. Caster knocked him down and then tagged in Bowers. When Jameson interfered, Bowens legdropped him between his legs as Caster held his legs apart. Next, they landed Fameassers together on both opponents leading to Caster, the legal man, scoring the pin on Bronson.

WINNERS: The Acclaimed in 9:00.

-Caster addressed the crowd afterward. He said tonight the best two-man team in the sport has returned. He said this Wednesday on Dynamite, they’re wrestling again. He said they’ve got the spirit of Billy with them; he held up his boots. He said they cannot be stopped on their way back to the top of the tag team division. Bowens said in the spirit of Billy, they said good bye last week, but the fans didn’t have the chance. He said Billy is at home watching, so he asked fans in the crowd to throw their scissors in the air as a tribute and salute to Billy. “We love you, Billy!” he said. “And everyone loves The Acclaimed!”

-Schiavone interviewed Bullet Club Gold backstage. Jay White said they’re the most elite version of Bullet Club ever. He said the people who call themselves The Elite aren’t close. He said two of them call themselves the best brother tag team, but Austin & Colten are that. They challenged the Bucks to a match on Dynamite. Colten told them not to bring superkicks to a gun fight. [c]

-Clips aired of the MJF-Adam Cole friendship including the All In main event announcement.

(2) KRIS STATLANDER & WILLOW NIGHTINGALE vs. MERCEDES MARTINEZ & DIAMANTE

The bell rang 32 minutes into the hour. Riccaboni said Diamante has been taken under the wing of Martinez. They cut to a partial split-screen break at 3:00. [c/pss]

Nightingale rallied after the break and then hot-tagged in Statlander. Nightingale sat down on Martinez’s shoulders, but Martinez rolled Nightingale through and then Diamante (sorta) pushed on her back with her legs for extra leverage.

WINNERS: Martinez & Diamante in 9:00.

-Lexi Nair interviewed Toni Storm backstage about wrestling in the four-way match at All In for the Women’s Title. Lexi said she was out of sorts last week. Storm said she has been out of sorts since losing her title. She said things are getting better since her friend Saraya will also be in the match, preventing funny business and assuring she’ll get a fair fight. She said the other woman are backstabbing toxic little girls. Lexi brought up that Hikaru Shida will be in the match, and she beat her for the title. Storm scolded Lexi for trying to rattle her and told her to shut up. Storm walked away and threw her high heel shoe at Lexi.

(Keller’s Analysis: Storm is shining in this role the last couple of weeks.)

(3) SAMOA JOE vs. ANDREW EVERETT

Samoa Joe made his way to the ring with the ROH TV Title belt. Ian said they’re still awaiting official acceptance from Punk of Joe’s challenge to face him at Wembley. Joe avoided Everett’s top rope dive, but Everett landed on his feet and celebrated. Joe then practically took off Everett’s head with a lariat and then put him out with a sleeper.

WINNER: Joe in 2:00.

-Afterward, Joe said he stands there as their “now and forever king of television.” He said he wants his challenge answered. “As far as I’m concerned, your Real World Champion is acting like a real bitch right now!” He said he gave Punk the courtesy of asking and the mercy of letting him know what would happen. He said he’s going to convince him. Ian asked what that is supposed to mean.

(Keller’s Analysis: I’m enjoying Samoa Joe getting to be full-fledged Samoa Joe again. Sounds like Joe is going to show for Punk’s match later.) [c]

-They went to Ian and Nigel on camera. They hyped All In including the Buy In pre-show.

-Christian Cage and Luchasaurus walked out to Christian’s music. (I still love that his catch phrase “Outwork everyone” has turned into “Worked everyone” since he turned heel.) He addressed the crowd. “I have to say this it the biggest family reunion I’ve even been part of,” he said. He said he doesn’t know much about North Carolina and he doesn’t want to. He said he knows “they’re all pretty much related” and told them to put their hot dogs and french fries down while he talks.

He said there are a lot of second-bests from N.C. He said Michael Jordan is no. 2 behind Lebron James. He said he is far superior to Ric Flair. Boos rang out. He said they demand respect. He said all the fans wish they were him and the wrestlers in the back wish they were him. He said he recently felt disrespected by Darby Allin. He said Darby went on record saying how important the TNT Title is to him, but he doesn’t care.

Christian said while Darby is playing with his skateboard, he’s been busy building his pro wrestling legacy. He said if Darby wants to be a hero, he should come after him. “And I will write you a tragedy,” he said.

[HOUR TWO]

Arn Anderson walked out with Brock Anderson. Arn said he’s heard enough. He said the fans around there know him. He said they’re in Horsemen country. He referred to Luchasaurus as a “sea monster to your left.” He told Luchasaurus that he’s the champion, not Christian. Christian said the most relevant he’s been in 15 years was when he left him in a pool of his own blood recently. Christian said he said there were no more open challenges, but he’d make an exception for him if he stepped into the ring. Arn said years ago he’d have done that himself. He then sent Brock to the ring.

(4) LUCHASAURUS vs BROCK ANDERSON – TNT Title match

The bell rang two minutes into the hour. Ian said he got word in his headset that Tony Khan made this a TNT Title match, and also the winner of this match will defend against Darby at All In. (Oh, please let Brock win! Darby vs. Brock could put the show over the top!). They cut to an early split-screen break. [c/ss]

Luchasaurus dominated Brock during the break. Brock got in a little offense after the break, but Luchasaurus quickly finished him.

WINNER: Luchasaurus in 5:00.

-Darby charged into the ring with his skateboard and went after Lucahsaurus with it. He stomped it onto Luchsaurus’s back. Luchasaurus then retreated. Darby asked Luchsaurus if, in his 65 billion years, he’s ever had a skateboard up his ass. Christian held Luchasaurus back. Darby challenged Christian to a match on Collision next week. “You’re on, you son of a bitch!” Christian yelled. Darby said he’s going to put some respect back on the TNT Title. [c]

-Schiavone interviewed Powerhouse Hobbs. He said lately he hasn’t found any peace because there’s always someone or something distracting him. He said he went back to the Bay and found the one thing that allows him to inflict violence and violence and violence. “And that’s the Book of Hobbs,” he said. He said he doesn’t need or want anybody’s help. He said the next chapter in his book is called Redemption. He asked how he’s supposed to redeem himself after losing the TNT Title and coming up short in the Owen Hart Tournament. He said he needs to call out the redeemer. He called out Miro and then told Schiavone to split.

As Miro walked out, Q.T. Marshall associates Aaron Solo and Nick Commoroto attacked Miro at ringside. Hobbs leaned in the corner of the ring. The announcers wondered if Hobbs knew about this and if it was a trap. Miro beat up Solo and Commoroto. Hobbs then gave Miro a spinebuster. He stood over Miro with the Book of Hobbs. He placed it on Miro’s chest.

(Keller’s Analysis: This just feels messy. It’s not entirely clear Miro is a babyface, and Hobbs seemed to have turned babyface, but now it appears Hobbs is associated with Marshall again, but it’s not entirely clear. It left fans ambivalent, it seemed. This is just needlessly convoluted. Just keep it more simple.)

-Ian and Nigel plugged next week’s Dynamite and the All In line-up so far.

-Jim Ross made his ring entrance and joined Ian and Nigel on commentary.

-The House of Black made their ring entrance 24 minutes into the hour. (They’re dedicating a huge part of Collision to this match.)

(5) THE HOUSE OF BLACK (Malakai Black & Buddy Matthews & Brodie King w/Julia Hart) vs. FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) & C.M. PUNK – AEW Trios Title match

FTR walked out to the ring as their entrance theme played. Then Punk came out to “Cult of Personality.” Dasha did formal ring introductions. FTR were cheered. Punk was mostly booed. Dasha introduced him “the Real World Champion.” (So AEW is endorsing that Punk is the “real” World Champion, huh?) House of Black got a surge of cheers when Dasha introduced them. Ross said House of Black remind him of the Freebirds at their peak. The bell rang 32 minutes into the hour.

When a “C.M. Punk!” started early, other fans booed. Nigel made a Magnum T.A. reference. At 5:00 Punk tagged in against Black. Everyone treated it as “a moment.” They circled each other. Another Punk chant started, which led to the requisite boos from other fans. Punk caught a charging Black with a GTS attempt, but Black slipped free. Punk ducked a spin wheel kick a second later and then sat in front of Black. Fans gave Punk a mixed response. Black then sat opposite of Punk and they stared at each other. The others entered the ring and a wild three-on-three brawl broke out. Fans cheered as they cut to a partial split-screen break. [c/ss]

Black knocked Punk off balance on the top rope as Julia had briefly distracted him. Matthews then crawled over and tagged in Brodie. He charged at Punk and nailed him with a cannonball in the corner. With Punk out at ringside, they cut to another split-screen break. [c/ss]

After the break, the announcers talked about the history of the Greensboro Coliseum. The heel trio isolated Punk during and after the break for a while. Punk crawled over and then leaped and tagged in Cash who went to work on Brodie. He powerslammed an interfering Black; Ian compared it to Buzz Sawyer’s snap powerslam. FTR clotheslined Brodie out of the ring and then backdropped Matthews over the top rope onto him. Cash then leaped over the top rope and crashed into them.  Back in ring Cash landed a leaping bulldog off the top rope on Brodie for a near fall. Fans chanted, “This is awesome!” Punk was still at ringside holding his knee in pain.

Brodie climbed to the top rope, but Dax was playing possum. He set up a superplex, but Brodie knocked him down. Dax went back after him. Cash joined in and they stereo superplexed him. Punk climbed to the top rope and landed a flying elbowdrop for a near fall at 23:00.

FTR went for Shatter Machine, but Brodie blocked it. Punk joined in on another attempt and they hit it. Matthews caught Cash with a meteora. Black gave Dax a brainbuster. Punk then landed a high roundkick to Black’s head. Everyone was down. Fans stood and applauded. Punk stood and assessed the sitaution. He dove through the ropes and knocked Black into the barricade. Joe then attacked Punk at ringside and put him in a sleeper. In the ring, Julia was distracting the ref. Brodie then gave Dax a lariat for the win. They replayed Joe’s attack, which they missed the first time until he had already dragged Punk into the crowd with the sleeper on. (How does AEW’s production team miss so many key live shots?)

WINNERS: House of Black in 27:00.

-As House of Black celebrated, the announcers closed with some plugs including the “Fight for the Fallen” Dynamite next week.

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