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The following report originally published 10 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
NOVEMBER 1, 2013
TAMPA, FLA.
AIRED ON SYFY NETWORK
[Q1]
-They opened with freeze-frames of John Cena’s World Title win over Alberto Del Rio set to inspirational music.
-Michael Cole welcomed viewers to Friday Night Smackdown just before Cena’s full ring entrance took place. Cole threw to a clip of Damien Sandow cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase on Monday night and Cena prevailing in their match.
Cena, wearing a pink t-shirt and pink hat and pink wristbands, recapped what he went through on Sunday and Monday. He said he’s not excited about what happened, but rather he’s snapping into action regarding what’s about to happen “because the World Champ is here!” He said the World Title means he and Friday are about to get “real, real comfortable.” He encouraged the fans to cheer. They didn’t cheer enough, so he gave them a second chance. He then said his business card is the same and he’s putting every WWE Superstar on notice. He was in full preacher-rapper hybrid mode. He said, “Want some, come get some.” Then the music for The Real Americans played and out walked Zeb Colter, Jack Swagger, and Antonio Cesaro.
Zeb introduced himself to Cena and congratulated him on the World Title victory. He congratulated Cena for defeating Alberto Del Rio and sending him Del Rio step closer to sneaking back across the border, “the same border he snuck across to get here in the first place.” Zeb entered the ring and said Cena shared a lot in common with the Real Americans, being a patriot and legend. He proposed they join their struggle and fight and agenda and become an official Real American. Cena looked around like he must be hearing this wrong. JBL said, “That’s a great offer.” Zeb said to show their respect and admiration for him, this is for them. They put their hands over their hearts and recited, “We the People.”
Zeb offered a handshake. Cena waved his hand in front of his face, then said, “We the People? I see three dumb people.” Cole cackled. He told Swagger looks like Biff from “Back to the Future.” He told him to “make like a tree and get out of here.” Then he added, “Is that a sports almanac in your front pocket or are you just happy to see me?” He then turned to Cesaro and said he’s heard a lot about the giant swing, but he can’t get past his giant nipples. He compared them to a Papa John’s pizza. “It isn’t delivery, it’s Cesaro.”
(WK Reax: I think even the biggest 11 year old Cena fans were rolling their eyes by this point. He rushed through the material like Dixie Carter, as if he even knew how awful and lame it was.)
He made a Duck Dynasty joke about Zeb next. He told Zeb he is full of Britney Spears initials. He explained that meant he’s full of B.S. He told them to look at the crowd because that’s the real America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. He called them synchronized swimmers and told them cop a 180 and march their butts out of Tampa Bay or there will be repercussions.
Damien Sandow then interrupted. He marched to the ring with a sense of purpose. He promptly called Cena a hypocrite. He said he doesn’t know the first thing about American values. He said he made his opportunity when he stabbed his own best friend in the back to win the MITB contract. He said since Cena arrived in the WWE, and especially since his return from his injury, he’s been handed everything. Sandow pointed at him and said, “You are a false champion.” He claimed to still be “your uncrowned World Champion.” Sandow said from now on his sole purpose in life is to end the Cena Era in WWE and he would do that by any means necessary.
(WK Reax: Now that is one hell of a babyface turn for roughly half of the WWE fan base. This was Cena near or at his worst in terms of lame material. “I see three dumb people?” “Britney Spears initials?” “Make like a tree and get out of here?” I have an idea for a WWE App Poll.)
When the Real Americans and Sandow surrounded Cena, Cody Rhodes and Goldust ran out and made the save. Vickie Guerrero then walked onto the stage and predictably booked a six-man tag match main event for the show.
[Q2]
-A backstage promo aired with The Shield. Dean Ambrose said they’re getting tired of the Usos. He called them speed bumps. Seth Rollins said tonight they prove the Usos will be just another victim. Roman Reigns closed with, “Believe in the Shield.” [c]
-A commercial aired hyping Raw on Monday hyping the Big Show vs. Stephanie & Triple H storyline. The narrator asked how would The Authority maintain their empire with Big Show, a giant loose end, gunning for them.
-A preview of the second part of “Total Divas” season one aired.
(1) THE USOS vs. THE SHIELD (Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins w/Roman Reigns)
Cole plugged his sit-down interview with Triple H on WWE.com. JBL touted the Usos triple threat match as one of the matches last Sunday on PPV. At 2:00 after Reigns went after an Uso at ringside, Big E. Langston’s music played and he walked out to even the odds. They cut to an early break as the Shield protested Big E.’s arrival. [c]
JBL compared a snap elbow drop by Ambrose to Great Muta. Cole and JBL said they couldn’t think of another tag team that had more impact than The Shield in their first year, and listed New Age Outlaws, DX, and the NWO as other candidates.
[Q3]
Jey dove onto Rollins and Reigns at ringside. Jimmy then went for a top rope move on Ambrose, but Ambrose countered. Jimmy then surprised Ambrose with a schoolboy for a pin out of nowhere. Ambrose went bug-eyed as he soaked up the loss.
WINNERS: Usos in 11:00.
-Big E. went after Ambrose afterward, but Reigns hit Big E. from behind. Reigns then threw Ambrose to ringside to safety and set up a spear on Big E., but the Usos entered the ring. Rollins and Ambrose had to hold Reigns back as Big E. yelled, “Come on!” Big E.’s stitches under his eye were pronounced.
-Cole plugged the main event six man tag match with Cena. He also plugged Miz TV would feature Shawn Michaels tonight. [c]
-They showed an exterior picture of the arena in Tampa. Then they went to Cole and JBL on camera for the first time on the show. They threw to a clip of Michaels turning heel on Daniel Bryan on Raw followed by the Wyatt Family attacking Bryan backstage later. Cole said Bryan is at home resting comfortably. Cole then threw to a clip of C.M. Punk pinning Ryback, followed by the Wyatt Family also attacking Punk.
-The Prime Time Players made their ring entrance. [c]
[Q4]
-A brief promo aired backstage with Bray Wyatt. He said false heroism is a sickness that must be dealt with and he said he knows what plagues them and he holds the cure in the palm of his hand. He blew out the lantern. Then in the ring the lights came on and there were Rowan & Harper. Bray was sitting at ringside in a rocking chair.
(2) THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS (Darren Young & Titus O’Neill) vs. ROWAN & HARPER
Young took a beating for a few minutes before hot-tagging in Titus. Harper blindsided Titus with a clothesline for the win a minute later.
WINNERS: Rowan & Harper in 4:00.
-Afterward Rowan and Harper held Titus. Young tried to make the save, but Bray gave him Sister Abigail and then laid them side-by-side in mid-ring.
-Cole and JBL threw to clips of Kane from Raw beating up Miz and offering himself to Stephanie McMahon.
-They showed Miz walking backstage preparing for Miz TV. [c]
-WWE Fact: Top 5 WWE Superstars on Facebook – Cena at 16.7 million, then Rock at 16.0, Mysterio at 9.3, Undertaker at 7.9, and Triple H at 7.1.
-Miz stood in the ring and introduced Miz TV. He announced that his scheduled guest Shawn Michaels has, as the saying goes, left the building. Miz said without Michaels, Randy Orton would not be WWE Champion. Orton walked onto the stage, clutching his WWE Championship Title belt.
[Q5]
Orton spoke from the stage and said he respects Miz’s view, but he proved at Hell in a Cell he is better than Bryan with or without Michaels. Orton said Michaels no-showed Miz TV because he’s no longer relevant and no one cares about his show. He said not long ago he beat him up in his hometown and the WWE Universe “practically cheered me.” JBL said that is true. Orton said if it were his call, he’d have him join the unemployment line like Big Show. He complained about Big Show violating his restraining order and knocking him out. He said Steph and Hunter have banned Big Show from WWE for life as a result of that. He asked Miz how that made him feel, but apparently he didn’t care to know, because just as Miz began to talk, Orton gave him an RKO. He stood over Miz as his music played.
-Dolph Ziggler hosted the merchandise pitch this week. He said he was out to prove he is the best salesman in WWE. [c]
-A clip aired of Summer Rae tapping out to Natalya on Raw.
(3) THE BELLAS & NATALYA vs. ALICIA FOX & TAMINA SNUKA & A.J. LEE
WINNERS: Natalya & Bellas in 4:00 when Natalya made Lee tapout.
-They went to the Raw Rebound featuring the arrival of Big Show at Orton’s title celebration.
[Q6]
-A feature aired on WWE supporting Susan G. Komen pushing for viewers to make a donation, buy a t-shirt, sponsor a walk, and other actions. Details at Komen.org/wwe. [c]
-They went to Cole and JBL at ringside. They plugged that Punk would be their guest this week on their online show. Then they pushed the WWE 2K14 video game. Then Cole threw to a clip of how Triple H “blew his stack” when he brought up Show’s name. Cole read David Otunga’s statement saying the McMahons should take Show’s lawsuit seriously. As Cole read details of the lawsuit, Hunter cut him off. He said as of this moment, he has banned Big Show from WWE for life.
-Cena’s ring entrance took place. [c]
[Q7]
(4) JOHN CENA & CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE REAL AMERICANS & DAMIEN SANDOW
After the break the rest of the ring entrances took place. A minute into the match chaos broke out. Cena charged into the ring and helped clear the ring of the heel trio. They cut to a break. [c]
Cole said Cena was expected to be out 6-8 months, but he came back after just two months. The heels eventually took control and worked over Goldust. They cut to a break out of nowhere.
[Q8] [c]
Cesaro had Goldust in a chinlock mid-ring after the break. Goldust hot-tagged Cena at 16:00, but the ref didn’t see it so he ordered Cena out of the ring. At 19:00 Goldust finally hot-tagged Cody. He went to work on Sandow and scored a near fall with a sunset flip. He landed a moonsault body press for a near fall seconds later. Sandow snuck in a tag to Cesaro, who surprised Cody with the Giant Swing. This one had over 20 revolutions. Cena speared Swagger at ringside, meanwhile. Goldust broke up Cesaro’s pin attempt on Cody, then clotheslined Sandow over the top rope.
Cesaro crawled over for a tag, but his partners were still KO’d at ringside. Cody then dove over and hot-tagged Cena who went after Cesaro with his flying shoulder tackles, side slam, the You Can’t See Me hand wave, the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, and an AA attempt. Cesaro powered out, though, and took Cena over with a gut-wrench suplex. Cesaro took his time, but set up a Giant Swing. Cena, though, countered with a drop toe hold. Cesaro surprised Cena with his lift-and-drop European uppercut. Cody surprised Cesaro with a Disaster Kick. Sandow gave Cody his You’re Welcome. Goldust gave Sandow a bulldog. Swagger then gave Goldust a powerslam.
Sandow went for a Patriot Lock on Cena, but Cena rolled through and then gave Swagger an Attitude Adjustment for the win.
WINNERS: Cena & Goldust & Cody in 24:00.
(WK Reax: Good main event match. Very heavy on Goldust taking a beating in the middle, but then the final third of the match really picked up and hit a nice climax. For fans of Smackdown happy to see Cena on the show, this was a good conclusion.)
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