SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
NOVEMBER 30, 2016 – Season 3 Episode #13
TAPED IN LOS ANGELES, CALIF.
AIRED ON EL REY NETWORK
REPORT BY JOEL DEHNEL, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
QUICK RESULTS FROM LAST WEEK
(1) AeroStar, Drago and Fenix defeated The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London, Saltador and Mala Suerte) to retain the Trios Championship
(2) Dante Fox defeated Killshot
(3) Johnny Mundo defeated Sexy Star to become the new Lucha Underground Champion
THIS WEEK’S SHOW
The show opened with a recaps of El Dragon Azteca-Black Lotus and the beat down of Pentagon Dark.
Backstage: Vampiro ran into Pentagon backstage. Vampiro said just because he’s not Pentagon’s master anymore doesn’t mean he has forgotten what he did to him.
Announcers: Striker welcomed the audience to the show. He reminded us of what happened to Pentagon after Aztec Warfare. Vampiro remained silent. Striker said that the Black Lotus Triade will face Pentagon in 4 matches tonight.
In ring: Santos introduced Pentagon Dark to the ring. His first opponent is Doku.
1 – PENTAGON DARK vs. DOKU
They locked up to start then Doku landed some chops and a kick. Pentagon fought back with a drop kick. Doku landed some forearms. Pentagon came firing back with a super kick. Pentagon dominated with his own chops the tossed her to the outside. He rammed her into the ring post the hit snake eyes on the ring apron. Pentagon continued to beat on her on the outside. Fans started to chant ‘this is awesome’. Pentagon hit another kick in the ring but Doku reversed and hit a spear then went to the top rope and dropped an elbow. She hit another then Pentagon reversed and ‘broke’ her arm for the stoppage.
WINNER: Pentagon Dark at 6:11. Something felt deeply distrubing about Pentagon just dominating Doku and the fans chanting this is awesome.
Backstage: Catrina met with Jeremiah Crane backstage. She tried to seduce him by getting close. Catrina alluded to him knowing her from long ago. She told him that she loves someone else then gave him the lick of death.
In ring: Pentagon Dark said he will break all of their arms. He said he will break Black Lotus into two. Santos introduced Pentagon still in the ring. His next opponent is Yurei.
2 – PENTAGON DARK vs. YUREI
Pentagon kicked Yurei then she reversed Pentagon and leaped onto him outside the ring. She threw Pentagon into the barricade as fans cheered. She hit Pentagon with the ring bell in the worst whacks I have ever seen. It was like in slow motion that she hit him. Pentagon fought back and threw Pentagon in thr stairs then back into the ring. Fans chanted “this is awesome” yet again. Pentagon caught Yurei with a half Boston Crab. She grabbed the rope to break the hold. Pentagon continued to work the knee. Pentagon then chopped Yurei but Yurei fought back and hit a hurricarana then hit a double stomp from the top. Yurei then hit a DDT then jumped on Pentagon which he turned into a piledriver. He then “broke” Yurei’s arm for the stoppage.
WINNER: Pentagon at 7:11.
In ring: Santos introduced Pentagon already in the ring. His next opponent is Hitokiri.
Backstage: Matanza punched the wall in his cell. Dario said next week Matanza will win his title back. Matanza said he doesn’t want the title, he wants Mysterio. Dario backed away slowly. The camera went into Matanza’s cell to reveal a question mark in blood on his wall.
3 – PENTAGON DARK vs. HITOKIRI
Hitokiri leaped onto Pentagon to start the match. Pentagon rolled to the outside then she jumped on Pentagon on the outside multiple times. She grabbed a chair from the outside and threw it at Pentagon’s face. Hitokiri beat on Pentagon on the outside, exactly like the previous two matches. Striker said “I think Marty has decided this will be a no DQ match” (WHAT WHAT WHAT. WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE?) Hitokiri slammed Pentagon onto some exposed concrete for a “holy s***” chant (Why?). Pentagon kicked Hitokiri’s face in the ring then drop kicked her off the ropes. Pentagon chopped her on the ropes exactly like it happened in the last two matches. Pentagon tossed her to the outside then Hitokiri dangerous threw herself onto a bunch on chairs. Pentagon chocked Hitokiri with a cable. Pentagon grabbed a chair and hit her on the bottom (really poor taste). Pentagon dangerously threw Hitokiri into the chairs again then slammed her on the concrete to another “holy s***” chant. Hitokiri tripped Pentagon onto a steal chair then ran to the top of the temple and leaped onto Pentagon from the top in an extremely dangerous spot. Pentagon countered Hitokiri in the ring and tried a piledriver but Hitokiri reversed for a piledriver win.
WINNER: Hitokiri at 12:49. Basically the same match formula three times in a row except this one was more dangerous and had a different outcome.
Post-match: Black Lotus emerged from the top of the temple.
Stage: Black Lotus walked into the ring. Fans chanted for her to break his arm. Lotus kicked the ref then beat on Pentagon. She grabbed his arm and “broke” it. All of member of the Triade stood behind Lotus halfheartedly selling the arm injuries. Azteca walked down to the ring and the Triade backed down. Dragon put his foot on Pentagon’s arm and broke his other arm.
Backstage: Shots of candles and such then revealing Prince Puma waking up in a casket. Vampiro stood over him requesting that he follow him.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I don’t know where to start. This is the exact result of that no face or heel mindset of booking. It is no coincidence that LU is Vince Russo’s favorite show. They do a lot of really good stuff, but this episode encapsulated pretty much everything wrong with Lucha Underground.
I can honestly say I have no idea who the babyfaces or heels were tonight. Not one clue. I thought the fans liked Pentagon, but the fans also cheered the Triade. I mean what the hell? The fans will literally cheer or boo for anything. Everything is awesome regardless of what it is, but if its really dangerous then it’s even more awesome. Doesn’t matter who wins as long as there as dangerous spots and we are entertained.
I get that fans pay their money to be there, but these are human beings taking huge risks for your entertainment. Of course it’s not all the fans’ fault; the booking is atrocious. This is that shades of grey crap. I have no idea, whether Black Lotus, The Triade, Pentagon, El Dragon, or even Vampiro are faces or heels. This is not intriguing at all. It’s a convoluted mess.
I can’t go into every little thing that bothered me, but the lack of enforcing rules? What the hell was that all about? Matt Striker saying the ref just decided it’s no DQ? This is garbage wrestling. LU is better than this. They are perfectly capable of presenting a sports-like experience while retaining everything that makes it unique. I’m hoping that this is rock bottom and everything goes up from here.