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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
May 25, 2017
From Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Jeremy Borash,, Josh Mathews & The Pope
Immediately following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to the PWTorch Livecast. Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek will discuss tonight’s show with callers. Listen at www.pwtorchlivecast.com and call the show at 515-605-9345
– After Impact signature, a highlight video from last week’s show aired, leading off with Low Ki winning Ultimate X last week.
– Jeremy Borash welcomed us to the show. He’s on the announce table with Pope only, no Josh Mathews.
– Bruce Prichard came to the ring with Tyrus as his bodyguard. Pritchard said he is an Impact official, and since he was attacked by ECIII, he has asked Tyrus for personal protection. Pritchard said attacking management isn’t taken lightly and ECIII’s actions will be dealt with.
Prichard said he wanted to address the Impact Wrestling Championship, and he brought out Bobby Lashley.
Lashley said he is the most dominant wrestler in the business. He said he doesn’t mean he’s the most popular, he means he’s the most dominant. Lashley said that he is the man to beat, but he can’t be beaten. Lashley asked Prichard who he gets to beat up at Slammiversary.
Before Prichard could answer, ECIII’s music played and he walked out onto the stage and made his way to the ring. ECIII told Lashley that he will become No. 1 contender, and at Slammiversary, he would become a three-time champion.
Magnus did not agree with that, of course, and he came to the ring next. Magnus told “Robert” that he can say anything he wants about the other wrestlers, but he can’t say anything about Magnus because his credentials speak for themselves and Lashley has never been in the ring with him.
Magnus told ECIII to shut his mouth. Magnus said tha the returned to Impact to fight a crusade against the Prichard regime. Magnus said Prichard cost him his “beloved” GFW championship. Magnus said that tonight he’ll become No. 1 contender again, and he will once again become the world champion.
Guess what? James Storm came out next! What a surprise!
Storm said that he should be the No. 1 contender. Storm told Lashley he didn’t know why he had a “big-ass body, and a little itty-bitty head.” Storm tried to start the triple threat match right now, but Prichard stopped them. Prichard reiterated that the winner of the triple threat will face Lashley at Slammiversary. Prichard said that they can take it one step further and make the triple threat match a no disqualification match. Prichard said if any of the three touches another guy before the match starts tonight, there would be no match and the offending wrestler would be suspended.
ECIII mocked Storm, trying to get him to hit him. Storm and Lashley went face to face while the rest of the ring cleared.
(McMahon’s Analysis — The purpose of the segment, it would seem, was to make the main event No DQ. They could have saved 12 minutes and just had Jeremy Borash say, “Bruce Prichard has made tonight’s match No DQ.” There wasn’t any reason to have Lashley out there other than to establish he’s in the arena, and to get him on television. Overall, considering how hot Impact has started the show in recent weeks with some good matches, this was a sluggish start.)
– Back from a break, ECIII was backstage and said he was going to eat Magnus’ lunch, and wash it down with a beer. ECIII said he loved smashing the bottle over Storm’s head.
– Borash and Pope were at the announce table, talking about the main event. Borash said that Mathews promised to reveal his tag team partner for Slammiversary tonight.
(1) KM (w/Sienna) & KONGO KONG (w/Laurel Van Ness) vs. BRAXTON SUTTER (w/Allie) & MAHABALI SHERA
Sutter and Kong started the match. Sienna grabbed Sutter’s ankle and distracted him, allowing Kong to take control. Sutter quickly fights back though, and tags in Shera. Kong bodyslammed Shera and hit the ropes, when KM tagged himself in. KM yelled at Kong to get out of the ring, and Kong looked confused. Shera scoop slammed KM. Laurel distracted Shera and KM took control, chopping him in the corner. Kong tags back in and slaps a nerve pinch on Shera. Kong tossed Shera with a belly-to-belly. KM tagged back in and dropped an elbow on Shera. [c]
Back from the break, Kong tags in and drops an ax handle on Shera’s back. Sutter finally made a tag and went toe-to-toe with KM. Sutter hit a pump kick in the corner and a jumping neckbreaker. Kong took out Sutter and Shera with a double clothesline. Sutter and Kong brawled on the outside. Van Ness tried to kiss Shera. Sienna and Van Ness chased Allie at ringside. In the ring, Allie hit a crossbody on both of them. In the ring, Kong heabutted Shera and KM rolled him up for the win.
WINNER: Kong & KM in 11:00
After the match, a brawl broke out on the ramp between all four men, and they brawled backstage. Now in the ring, Sienna and Laurel have Allie cornered. Sienna hit Allie with forearms and kicks and after she fell to the mat, Laurel and Sienna both beat her up.
Suddenly, Rosemary’s music played and she came to the ring. Pope said Rosemary doesn’t like anyone. Rosemary stood over Allie. Laurel picked Allie up and Roesmary started at Allie but spit mist in Sienna’s face and then she attacked Laurel. After clearing the ring, Rosemary stared at Allie again. She slowly walked up to Allie and then Rosemary’s music played.
(McMahon’s Analysis — The match playing out the way it did made sense. Impact has invested some TV time in Sutter, Kong and KM, and Shera hasn’t been on TV much at all, so him taking most of the heat and then taking the pin is the way it should have worked out.
Turning Rosemary makes some sense, too. If Decay is gone, it makes sense to totally revamp her character. However, the character being what it is, you can’t just all of a sudden have her come out dressed in pink ring gear and acting normal. For the most part, she’s still the same character she was in Decay – for now – and I’m looking forward to see if they explain why she helped Allie in future episodes, as they should.)
(2) MARIO BOKARA & FALLAH BAHH vs. V.O.W.
Wilcox and Bokara begin the match. Mayweather tagged in and suplexed Bokara for a two count. Bahh tagged in. Bahh splashed Mayweather in the corner after Bokara held his ankle. Bokara tagged in and continued the assault on Mayweather. Bahh hit a legdrop. Pope and Borash made the obviously comparisions to Yokozuna. Bahh missed a spear in the corner. Bokara tagged in, as did Wilcox. Wilcox flipped Bokara with a clothesline. Wilcox threw Bahh to the outside and Mayweather kicked him. Mayweather tagged in and hit an MOAB with Wilcox, to pick up the win.
WINNERS: Veterans of War in 6:00.
(McMahon’s Analysis — Good showcase win for the VOW, but they did give some shine to Fallah Bahh as well. Bokara took the big beating in the match. VOW moves on to face LAX next week in the match they’ve been building to for a few weeks.)
– Backstage, Josh Mathews is shown walking out to the ring.
– Backstage, Magnus said his game plan tonight is to focus and forget about the past. Magnus said the benefit of the triple threat is that is favors the cerebral, and he’s the most cerebral in Impact.
– Pope and Borash hyped the mix tag-team match that will come up later tonight.
– Josh Mattews came to the ring to introduce his tag team partner for Slammiversary. The crowd chanted, “get him out of here!” Borash said he’s over Mathews and over the whole situation.
Mathews grabbed a mic. He asked Borash to join him in the ring, calling him “sir.” Pope told Borash to go see what he has to say. Borash didn’t look happy but he joined him in the ring. Mathews told Borash that he has made a lot of mistakes since coming to Impact, and he’s trying to rectify them. Mathews said he apologized to Mike Tenay for “stealing his job.” Mathews said he unblocked and followed Dave Penzer on Twitter, and he even made up with Shark Boy. Mathews said his wife can attest to the fact that he loves Jim Ross, and Jim Ross is the greatest announce of all time. Mathews said he’s a VP of Impact now, and he has to conduct himself as such. Mathews said, from the bottom of his heart, he’s truly sorry, and he’d like for them to be friends again. Mathews said he’s been jealous of Borash. Mathews, through fake tears, said again he was sorry and extended for a handshake.
Borash didn’t look like he was buying it but as he went to shake Mathews’ hand, Joseph Park ran out and told Borash to wait. Park told Borash he should not shake Mathews’ hand. Park said a few months ago, Team JB beat Team Josh. Park said that a few weeks ago, JB knocked Mathews on his ass.
Mathews said he tried to be nice, but he doesn’t mean any of his apologies. Mathews said he should call the show by himself every week. Mathews said he should be the face of the Fight Network.
Borash said Mathews has accepted the match. So, who is his partner? Mathews said he doesn’t answer to anyone. Mathews said his partner will reveal himself at the most opportune time. Park said it doesn’t matter who Matthews’ partner is. Park said he wanted to fight Mathews right here, right now. Park took off his jacket and gave it to Borash. Mathews yelled for a referee. A referee came to the ring and rang the bell.
(3) JOSEPH PARK vs. JOSH MATHEWS
As soon as the bell rang, a siren rang out and Scott Steiner’s music played.
WINNER: Apparent no-contest
Borash looked terrified as Steiner walked to the ring. Pope called Steiner a walking timebomb. Park bailed out of the ring and ran off through the crowd. Pope said Steiner was one of the most feared men in all of pro wrestling. Steiner ripped the railing apart and chased Park and Borash through the crowd, attacking a fan in the process. Park ran back into the ringside area and Mathews hit him with a low blow. Steiner gets in the ring and attacked Park. Steiner locked in a Steiner recliner on Park. Mathews yelled at Borash to get into the ring. Steiner chased Borash up through the crowd again. Mathews said it’s on at Slammiversary. Borash ran backstage.
(McMahon’s Analysis — Well, that got interesting. Steiner is 54 years old, but he looked good. With his shades on, the thing on his head and the beard, he looked a lot like the Scott Steiner you would remember for 15 years ago. The big leather jacket helps with that, too. Impact really tried hard to get Steiner off as a huge, scary threat. They’re playing up his past. I thought it was almost a little too over the top. I’d get Borash running off and being terrified, but Park, who wanted the match, shouldn’t have been made to look like such a wimp here, even though it fits with his character.
Aside from that, I’m still ready for this painstaking storyline to come to an end.)
– Back from the break, Josh Mathews is on commentary after Borash ran to the back.
– A video aired on Moose winning the Grand Championship and defending it in Mexico, Japan and the UK.
– Eli Drake was backstage with McKenzie Mitchell. He told her to hold the mic up for him. Drake said if people back him into a corner, then people get hurt. Moose tried to attack Drake but he was held back by security. Drake told Moose that this is about himself, and Moose is just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Drake challenged Moose to a title match next week and he agreed, and the brawl began. Chris Adonis ran in and began beating up Moose as well.
(4) EDDIE EDWARDS & ALISHA EDWARDS vs. DAVEY RICHARDS & ANGELINA LOVE
Richards and Love were out first, and the Edwards ran down for the attack on their entrance. Edwards and Richards started the match. Mathews said that Edwards had minor knee surgery a few weeks ago, and Richards promptly kicked him right in the knee. On the outside, Edwards chopped Richards. Love ran in front behind and started choking Edwards and raking his eyes. Alisha dove off the top rope with a crossbody on Love and Richards.
– Back from the break, Richards was in control with a figure four. Mathews sent Impact’s most sincere condolences to Manchester.
Richards went to the top rope and missed a stomp, which Edwards followed up with an overhead belly-to-belly. Alisha and Angelina tag in. Alisha takes down Angelina and they brawled. Alisha went to the top rope but missed a dive. Love missed a pump kick and got rolled up by Alisha for the win.
WINNER: Eddie Edwards & Alisha Edwards in 12:00.
After the match, Richards attacked Edwards from behind. Richards handcuffed Edwards to the rope and continued to kick him. Richards screamed, “why won’t you die?!” at Edwards as he choked him. Love told Richards to go under the ring. He did, coming back up with a table. Love put Alisha on the top rope after Richards set up the table. Love got underneath her and powerbombed her through the table while Richards made Edwards watch, handcuffed to the rope.
(McMahon’s Analysis – Impact should keep this feud going to Slammiversary, setting up some sort of gimmick match. They’ve been in the ring with each other so many times already, another mixed tag-team match doesn’t feel right for this feud, especially considering the personal aspect of it. Also, this is another instance where Impact has gone heavy with the heat on the heel Richards within this feud. Even after Edwards and Alisha had a win to celebrate, they weren’t allowed to do it with the post-match beatdown. The slow burn is working with this storyline.)
– A Spud video aired. He said he told the fans he’d be back at Impact next week, but instead he talked to a doctor and the doctor told him one more week before he could come back. Spud said he would be back next week, and he told Swoggle revenge would be his! But before he could finish it, someone was yelling in a distance and Spud screamed, “Mom! Kayfabe! I’m trying to do an interview!”
(5) ECIII vs. MAGNUS vs. JAMES STORM – No DQ match to determine No. 1 contender for the Impact Title
As the match began, Pope and Mathews wondered if El Patron, being GFW Champion, should guarantee someone being No. 1 contender. Pope said it shouldn’t. The match goes to the outside pretty early. Storm takes someone’s bottle of Diet Coke and blasts ECIII in the face with it, before going over and doing the same thing to Magnus. Storm low-blows ECIII. Storm chopped ECIII on the chest. Magnus and ECIII hit a double suplex on Storm.
Back from the break, Mathews said he heard Borash was so scared, he left the Impact Zone and went the wrong way home. In the ring, Magnus and ECIII are double-teaming Storm along the ropes, including Magnus getting Storm with a chair. ECIII jammed a chair in the corner. Magnus threw a garbage can in the ring. ECIII and Magnus took turns hitting Storm with a kendo stick. ECIII tried to hit Storm with the kendo stick but Storm moved and he hit Magnus. ECIII told Magnus it was an accident and continued to hit Storm. ECIII gave Magnus the kendo stick. ECIII held Storm for Magnus, but Storm again moved and Magnus cracked ECIII. Magnus then began beating ECIII with the stick. Magnus and ECIII both go down with a double clothesline. Storm grabs a chair and slams ECIII with it. ECIII hit a TK3 on Storm but Storm kicked out at two. Magus had Storm in a crab but ECIII broke it up with a chair. He covered Magnus for a two count. Storm hit a code breaker with a chair for a two count. Magnus got tied up in the top rope. ECIII climbed up for a superplex but Magnus sat up and tossed ECIII and Storm off the top. Magnus was selling a knee injury. Storm threw ECIII into the chair ste up in the corner. Storm covered for a two, broken up by a Magnus elbow. Magnus covered ECIII for a two. Storm dropped Magnus with a Last Call superkick. ECIII snuck in from behind, throwing Storm to the outside with a knee and then stole the pin.
WINNER: ECIII in 20:00.
(McMahon’s Analysis — There’s no way they keep with a straight-up ECIII vs. Lashley match for Slammiversary. Not with El Patron still in the mix. They need to get a babyface involved here at some point, and I’m leaning more towards them going with ECIII-Storm 1-on-1. Remember, Prichard said ECIII’s actions last week would be reviewed. Considering the angle with the belt whipping three weeks ago, and then their 1-on-1 match interrupted last week, combined with ECIII screwing Storm out of a title shot tonight (after screwing him out of a title match a month ago) it all seems primed for an ECIII-Storm match at Slammiversary, and maybe something like a strap match. As for where they go with the World Title, my guess is that it’s either El Patron-Lashley 1-on-1, or they work Magnus in somehow.)