Roman Reigns is one of the most dramatic, divisive, and discussed WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him your favorite guy – with limited success. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter.
Last week I found myself huddled into a tiny ball, watching desperately for even the tiniest glimpse of my hero. He didn’t come.
Drew McIntyre – cunning, evil, stunning physique – was casually demolishing the next Universal Champion Seth Rollins. I remained steadfast, alternating between hiding behind my couch weeping into my three foot tall cow plush (the existence of which is genuinely not a joke) and peeping over the top at my TV waiting. Waiting. Always waiting.
But Roman didn’t come. When Dean Ambrose was destroyed by McIntyre the week before Roman was stunned, dazed and confused. Last week, with Seth Rollins taking the brunt force, Roman Reigns simply did not appear.
So I have to ask, as all of us should, where was Roman Reigns?
This week, where was Roman? He was right there on Monday Night Raw. This week I got to actually sit on my couch and watch the big dog in action.
Still ended up weeping into Gertrude, though. Yes, I’m seriously doubling down on this cow business.
As I’m sure you know, as any discerning wrestling fan should, there has been a lot of fourth wall bending in recent WWE. Ronda Rousey is doing a whole big thing right now where she is apathetic, overly aggressive, and not particularly invested in wrestling. Triple H is doing something similar, though if we think back he also had his infamously good Phil Brooks vs. Paul Levesque business.
With Roman Reigns, it’s not so much a storyline thing; Joe came out under very stressful circumstances and he hasn’t really gotten back in his box since. Joe was on display again today, being very honest about who he is and what he cares about.
In this instance Drew McIntyre, still on his mission to destroy The Shield, called out Roman. McIntyre talked about that mission. He threatened Roman, building heavily towards their planned WrestleMania duel. Initially, the fans answered. Roman’s name was chanting all around Boston. The large hound himself would answer shortly after. He would strut down to the ring and line up against his foe.
Past Chosen One versus Current Chosen One. Current Chosen One versus Future Chosen One. This match could very much be a WrestleMania main event any other year. Just not this one. Two top guys, wearing similarly wet hair and well-groomed beards, stared each other down in a sea of excitable people.
In the standard “I’m-related-to-The-Rock”-style, Roman refers to himself in third person now. Joe accepted their WrestleMania match on behalf of Roman and then, just like that, things got physical. Reigns would strike first – house of fire, blaze of glory, this time it’s personal. McIntyre would be the finisher, though. A low-blow would turn the tide. Now, admittedly, this is the longest sell of a low-blow that I’ve ever seen, but one low-blow and one Claymore kick was the end of Roman Reigns’s evening.
Roman would not rescue Dean Ambrose later in the night. Roman Reigns did not save Seth Rollins last week, of course. Roman would not reappear. His usual appearances in three or more segments never came to pass. McIntyre would go on to tear down Dean Ambrose one more time.
Get well soon, Roman. Your brothers need you. Your fans need you. I need you. This cow is so wet I’m basically cuddling an exploded water balloon.
– Drew McIntyre
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Another dark day to be a Roman fan. WrestleMania is coming.