MIZ & MRS TV REPORT 4/23: French Butt Cream, New Shoes, Fantasy Football, Auto-drafting, On-line Shopping, Swimming Lesson

By Sarah K, PWTorch contributor


APRIL 23, 2019

The show opens with Miz breaking down packing boxes… because Maryse has an online shopping habit. Miz thinks that Maryse should go to the grocery store instead of ordering online. You know this isn’t going to work out for Miz. The second subplot of this show is Miz’s obsession with Fantasy Football. Evidently there is some sort of title belt with a picture of the Miz’s dad’s face engraved in it – which Miz calls “the George.” I guess if you win at fantasy football, then you get the George. Apparently Marjo does not know how to swim. You know they have a pool. Ha ha. Miz tries to teach her how to swim. Marjo is a good sport about this, but it doesn’t last long.

So, Miz is doing some sort of fantasy football draft. He assembles a bunch of things on a dining room table and calls it a war room. Of course, since Miz wanted less online shopping, Maryse needs him to go to the grocery store at that very moment. So, Miz is going to the store. Miz thinks he can do a fantasy football draft and shop at the same time. This is going to be a big fat fail – an amusing fail, but definitely a fail. Miz forgot the stroller, but he doesn’t need it. For those of us who know nothing about fantasy football, apparently auto-drafting is a despised practice. So, while Miz is busy shopping and being distracted by Maryse, he gets at least two picks that are autodrafts.

Miz returns home with a plethora of goods. Miz and Maryse bicker over what Miz did and did not buy. And then everyone is distracted by the fact that Marjo has a paddle boat in the pool. Everyone has a moment with the paddle boat. Miz autodrafts again. Evidently Miz has a friend who explains that he can basically order supplies to be delivered to his house. Miz plans to intercept the drivers as they get there – to keep this secret from Maryse. It works with the first two orders. The lady who brings the French butt cream rings the buzzer, so, you know Maryse is going to nail him on this.

Maryse does, indeed, nail him. But it’s all in good fun. Maryse finds his situation so pathetic that she gets him his plane ticket to Cleveland to go draft in person or with other people or however the hell fantasy football works. As a thank you, Miz orders something for Maryse. I was sneakily hoping it was a whole box of French butt cream for babies, but it was a fancy pair of shoes.

NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S REPORT: MIZ & MRS TV REPORT 4/16: Miz laments lack of sex, looks for room to sleep with baby and dog in his place, potato peels clog disposal, crib building

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