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AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
OCTOBER 7, 2023
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Nigel McGuiness, Ian Riccaboni, Jim Ross
– Hey! Welcome to another edition of my AEW Collision Hits & Misses column, the only Hits & Misses column that puts the word “camp” into everything except the word “camping” because I don’t do camping because I don’t do the outdoors because I’m allergic to nature, and it’s good to know my train of thought is staying on track this week.
By the way, if you missed it, I appeared on this week’s edition of the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-Show for AEW Collision with Mr. McMahon. (Not saying which one.) But in all seriousness, I had a lot of fun participating in that episode alongside its host, Mike McMahon (which is technically a Mr. McMahon), and you can check it out HERE.
Now, with all that out of the way, let’s dive straight into what will probably be the least-watched episode of AEW Collision ever – not to be confused with the least-watched episode of Dynamite ever, which will air this Tuesday against a totally normal episode of WWE’s NXT featuring Becky Lynch, Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman, John Cena, the return of the Undertaker, a time-traveled Rock from 1998, Elvis Presley but from before he got fat, and direction by Stanely Kubrick.
COLD OPEN — HIT
Some highlights:
– Brian Danielson said he’d been wrestling longer than Kyle Fletcher has been alive, and I’m old AF.
– Kyle Fletcher elaborated on what would happen during his match against Danielson by saying, “Tonight, I’m going to show up and stand on my own two feet.”
– Ricky Starks promised that he and Big Bill would become the new AEW World Tag Team Champions, and I laughed until I didn’t later.
– Eddie Kingston cut the best promo out of everyone in this cold open, and I don’t have a joke about it. I just wanted to point that out.
– FTR (shouldn’t this have come after the Starks promo?) cut a promo in which they revealed Cash Wheeler has a fractured rib. (Ohhhh, that makes sense.)
RICKY STARKS & BIG BILL DEFEATS FTR — MINOR-HIT
If Cash Wheeler is truly injured, then this was the right choice. A part of me wishes AEW would have had Dax Harwood carry the match for longer than five minutes, but if you’re going to do something like this, it makes sense to put over the winning team as strongly as possible.
I’ll admit, when the referee counted to three, I was shocked, and not just because I did a spit-take into an electric outlet. FTR is already an all-time great tag team, even if they were to retire tomorrow, but I hope they don’t. I hope Wheeler recovers quickly and these two are able to return to the top of the card where they belong.
Side Note: I was saddened to see so many empty seats in the arena tonight. A title change of this magnitude deserved to be witnessed by more eyeballs.
BRIAN DANIELSON VS. KYLE FLETCHER — MEGA-HIT
This was a 16-minute showcase match for Kyle Fletcher, who dresses like an elf, fights like the Night King, and lives in the magical land of Oz. Sadly, Fletcher didn’t win. I say sadly because while wrestling Danielson is a career boost in and of itself, winning would have been next level, and based on some of his overseas matches, I think Fletcher is at or near that level. AEW needs more new, young stars standing tall over their opponents, and Fletcher should be one of them.
STARKS & BIG BILL CUT A PROMO — MINOR-HIT
Starks’s portion of this promo was fantastic, but Big Bill’s portion felt like it was missing something. I would advise having Starks do most of the talking between these two going forward. Starks has a great way with words, and Big Bill has a great way with being big.
Side Note: I have no problem with these two de-throning FTR. In fact, I hope AEW gives them a long, healthy run with the titles and refrains from using them as transitional champions.
ROBINSON & THE GUNN CLUB VS. GRAVITY, ANGELICO, AND METALIK — MISS
Gravity’s gimmick needs to be brought back down to Earth because Gravity’s gimmick is weighing him down. The Gunn Club’s gimmick is flying high, but it wasn’t enough to make this exhibition match feel meaningful.
BELT-THEFT EPIDEMIC — MISS
AEW’s wrestlers needed to store their belts in a ringside safe going forward. How are there not rules to stop this? Imagine if you broke into a co-worker’s cubical and stole their computer to show them who’s boss? Your actual boss would fire you immediately.
JAY WHITE’S PROMO — HIT
Jay White’s mic skills are so good they were able to make me forget he was running the same belt-theft storyline they saddled Ruby Soho with last month.
Side Note: I loved Jay White claiming that the reason his upcoming match with Adam Page wouldn’t be for the AEW World Heavyweight Championship was because he didn’t think Hangman had done enough to deserve a shot at “his” championship. However, I didn’t love White taking a shot at WWE’s “eliminator match” terminology. While I don’t like that terminology, I’m not fond of taking shots at other promotions for no reason.
Sure, I don’t like WWE as much as I like AEW, but that doesn’t mean I dislike WWE. Because of this, when an AEW wrestler mocks WWE on national television, it feels like they’re telling me I have bad taste, and maybe they’re right. Maybe I do have bad taste, but I’d prefer it if the company I spend hundreds of dollars on every year would refrain from telling me about it.
NICK WAYNE’S PROMO VIDEO — MEGA-HIT
Speaking of taste. Nick Wayne has good taste. I liked his burgundy Nike shoes at WrestleDream, and I flat-out loved his oversized panda-colored sweater from last week. Apparently, Wayne also loved his oversized panda-colored sweater from last week because he wore it again for this video package.
On an unrelated note, I enjoyed this video, and I enjoyed Wayne’s promo skills. From an acting standpoint, this was the first time since he arrived in AEW that I have been flat-out impressed by Wayne’s acting. Admittedly, I was initially skeptical about Nick Wayne’s heel turn, but this video has convinced me he is the smarmiest of smarms and the pettiest of pets. In fact, of all the Persian cats to have ever learned to wrestle, he might be the best at being the worst (assuming Dominique Mysterio is not also a Persian cat.)
NICK WAYNE’S MOTIVES — MISS
Wayne needed a better reason to hate Darby Allin. People don’t take extreme measures without extreme motivations, and “You weren’t there for me” feels more phoned in than a Little Ceasar’s plastic-cheese-covered pizza.
The thing is, Nick Wayne already has a good reason just sitting there waiting for him to use it. Instead of saying, “You weren’t there for me,” Wayne should be saying, “You forgave A.R. Fox after he tried to Sharon Tate me in my own garage!”
THE IRON SAVAGES CUT A PROMO — MINOR-MISS
I don’t get the Iron Savages. Maybe that is a “me” problem, and I’m open to that idea, but for three ostensibly straight men, they spend a lot of time talking about eating ass.
THE ACCLAIMED & DADDY ASS VS. THE IRON SAVAGES — HIT
Given that 40 percent of Billy Gunn’s entire career has been built around his fabulous ass, I would stay as far away from The Iron Savages as possible. On the other hand, watching Max Caster pretend to eat ass was the highlight of this match and the biggest advancement in gay rights since Max Caster thanked a fan for asking him to spit in his mouth on Twitter.
TONI STORM STARS IN A VIDEO PACKAGE ALONGSIDE HER GUEST STAR R.J. CITY — MEGA-HIT
Toni Storm is onto something so big it feels like it is transcending the show itself. Over the previous two weeks, her t-shirt was in the top five (and at one point, in the top three) on ShopAEW.com, and while it is no longer in the top five, it is still far-and-away AEW’s highest-selling women’s T-shirt RN.
Side Note: Whoever was in charge of editing this video should be given an award.
SHANE TAYLOR AND KEITH LEE’S PROMO VIDEO — MEGA-HIT
Shane Taylor is one of the biggest surprises for me in 2023. He cut a top-of-the-line promo on the Sept. 16 episode of AEW Collision. (It was so good that I did a number-by-number breakdown of all the reasons why I liked it.) Since then, I have quickly bought into his new faction and his character as a whole. This totally blindsided me because he was not at all on my radar before Sept. 16, even though, in hindsight, he probably should have been because I enjoyed his match against Swerve & Lee at ROH’s Final Battle in December of 2022.
While I am excited to see where this Keith Lee-Shane Taylor storyline goes, I think once it is finished, Shane Taylor should be put into a top-level feud with another “hoss” type wrestler like Miro or Wardlow, and both men should be given the time and space they need to tell a compelling story. I want to see if I’m loving these promos because Taylor and Lee have a chemistry that just happens to bring out the best in each other or if I’m loving these promos because Taylor could be a future AEW World Heavyweight Champion.
TONI STORM’S ENTRANCE — MEGA-HIT
From the emulsion-scratched film at the beginning to Toni Storm fainting mid-ring, this could not have been more perfect if Glenn Close were playing the role herself. (Which she once did, and you can see a pro-shot of the show’s final scene HERE.)
“TIMELESS” TONI STORM VS. KIERA HOGAN — HIT
The match started with Kiera Hogan rejecting Toni Storm’s contract offer, and Storm shouted her newest catchphrase, “How dare you!” in Hogan’s face. Before the commercial break, Storm looked into the camera and said, “We’ll be right back, folks. Stay tuned!” Then, right at the end of the match, Storm struck her “Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up” pose and pinned Hogan.
Toni Storm has put so much effort into this. Her makeup, while not directly matching the makeup used at the end of the film, matched the makeup used at the end of the original West End production of “Sunset Boulevard,” and her mannerisms are so on point that I wonder if she doesn’t have a collection of silent films stashed away in her dressing room. I mean, locker room.
Storm has done more than simply mimic the Norma Desmond character from “Sunset Boulevard”; she has included aspects of several “timeless” films, from 1981’s “Mommy Dearest” to 1927’s “Metropolis,” and because she has fully bought into this character, the fans are buying into, too. The crowd even chanted “Toni” during the match.
Side Note: In 1950, “Sunset Boulevard” was so controversial within the film industry that it led to fistfights at the studio. After the film’s premiere screening, Mae Murray made snide remarks; Mary Pickford hid from the public, saying she was too overcome with emotion to show herself; Barbara Stanwyck knelt to kiss the hem of Gloria Swanson’s dress, and Louis B. Mayer (the second “M” in MGM) accosted the film’s Austrian-born director, Billy Wilder, shouting, “You befouled our own nest! You should be kicked out of this country, tarred, and feathered. G—d—n foreigner! Son of a b—!”
The biographical book “Lion of Hollywood” claimed that Mayer’s response also included a disgusting remark about the holocaust (in which Wilder’s mother, grandmother, and stepfather tragically died). Despite this, Nancy Olson (who would later receive an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress for her work in the film) recounted that Wilder’s only response was to tell Mayer, “Go f— yourself.”
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. You’re probably thinking, “Isn’t this column supposed to be about professional wrestling? Why are we so off track? How bad is this man’s ADHD? Was all of that random information necessary?” I assure you, it was.
SOHO CUTS A BACKSTAGE PROMO — HIT
Ruby Soho is the most underrated member of AEW’s women’s roster, and I hope that will change soon.
KINGSTON VS. KOMANDER — MINOR-HIT
I enjoyed this. It was an interesting mix of styles, and Kingston really made the most of it. I gave it a “minor-hit” instead of a “hit” because I wish Kommander’s character was better defined. He is very entertaining to watch, but how much do casual viewers really know about him? It would have been nice if he’d at least have been included in the show’s cold open somehow.
ADAM COPELAND’S SHOW CLOSING SEGMENT: THE BEGINNING — MINOR-MISS
I loved the artist formerly known as Edge (Precipice? Can we call him Precipice?) paying homage to Jim Ross, but Precipice’s mannerisms during this part of the segment felt like he was searching to find his comfort zone on the microphone. Perhaps Copeland would work better with a tighter script, or maybe he just needs a couple of weeks to get used to AEW’s looser style?
Side Note: I like that Adam Copeland explained why he wanted to return to AEW, but I wish he’d explained why he was backstage during WrestleDream to begin with. Wade Keller suggested Copeland should claim he was backstage visiting friends or hoping to negotiate a potential return, and during that time, he just happened to oversee what was going on in the ring and couldn’t stand by while Christian ended Sting’s career. I like Keller’s suggestion and endorse it. It is simple; it makes sense, and I think they should run with it.
ADAM COPELAND CALLS OUT CHRISTIAN — HIT
This was the point in Copeland’s promo where Precipice really hit his stride, and I liked all of it except for how much he turned his back to the camera. (I really thought he’d know not to do that?)
Side Note: During this promo, Adam Copeland called Nick Wayne a Persian cat, and now I can’t unsee it.
CHRISTIAN CAGE RESPONDS — HIT
Thanks to the camera crew that follows AEW’s wrestlers around all the time (going to the bathroom must suck) in case they ever want to randomly respond to someone in the ring, Christian cut his promo on the big screen instead of on stage, which was a good heel move.
Side Note: The most interesting part of this entire segment was seeing Christian Cage look like more of a polished star than Adam Copeland. It was a jaw-dropping sight.
LUCHASARUS & NICK “PERSIAN CAT” WAYNE STORM THE RING — MINOR-MISS
I liked these two coming out, but that was the slowest storming of a ring I have ever seen. Why didn’t Precipice just leave?
Side Note: Nick Wayne is still wearing that same panda-colored sweater.
DARBY ALLIN IS NOT DEAD — WOW
How is Darby Allin still moving? Didn’t he get thrown head-first off the ring apron and onto the “stairs” part of the steel stairs?
Also, where’s Sting?
THE ENDING — HIT
It was good to see the panda-colored Persian cat standing tall in the ring at the end of the show. With wrestlers like Jade Cargill and Brian Pillman Jr. headed to WWE, AEW needs its talented younger wrestlers to stand as tall as possible right now.
FINAL THOUGHTS
This was a good episode of AEW Collision, and it was better than the dreadful (in my opinion) episode of AEW Dynamite we lived through on Wednesday, but it wasn’t nearly as good as last week’s Collision.
SHOW GRADE: B-
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, sand dollars are skeletons, and that means Christmas ornaments made out of sand dollars should be used on Halloween trees.
(David Bryant’s new bathroom-selfies can be found on his “Artist Formerly Known as Twitter” account @IamDavidBryant; a video of David Bryant being knocked unconscious by an exploding television set can be found on his Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant’s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant sucks at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and the inventor of the world’s first pizza cutter to bleed out. Less impressively, he studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)
RECOMMENDED NEXT: AEW DYNAMITE HITS & MISSES (10/5): WrestleDream follow-up including Adam Copeland, Callis Family Values, Jay White-MJF, Rey Fenix, Audio Glitch
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: AEW Dynamite results (10/4): Powell’s live review of Adam Copeland’s debut, Rey Fenix vs. Nick Jackson for the AEW International Title, Konosuke Takeshita and Kyle Fletcher vs. Kenny Omega and Chris Jericho
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