SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 30 years ago this week in the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter paper copy…
KELLER’S WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
JANUARY 1, 1996
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN THE PRO WRESTLING TORCH NEWSLETTER (ISSUE #368)
-The show opened with the “Raw Bowl” theme played up well. They showed fans chanting “Raw Bowl.” They showed the band, the cheerleaders, Coach Blassie, Dandy Dok, Jumbo Jim (Ross), and the four teams competing in the Raw Bowl match. They showed Diesel, Mabel, Goldust, and then imitations of “The Nacho Man,” “The Huckster,” “Scheme Gene,” and “Billionaire Ted (Turner).” There was no more mention of the WCW spoof until the end of the show…
-Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler talked about the collegiate atmosphere. Throughout the show they made analogies to football…
(1) The Smoking Gunns outlasted Yokozuna & Owen Hart, Razor Ramon & Savio Vega, and 1-2-3 Kid & Sid. They showed Brother Love in the locker room preaching a pre-game pep talk to no one in particular. On his way to the ring, Goldust’s usher gave Ramon a box of gold roses. Ramon ripped up the box and threw the usher down. Goldust looked on and threw Ramon a kiss. For trivia buffs, Kid is the first wrestler to ever wear a “Breath Right” to the ring. The rules were that any wrestler could tag any wrestler, but before tagging out physical contact must be made. Each team was allowed one teammate. And the team is eliminated when any member of that team loses.
At 0:30 Billy Gunn and Bart Gunn wrestled briefly. Then, while they weren’t looking, they tagged in Owen and Yokozuna. Yokozuna was more willing than Owen to face off in the ring. The referee threatened to throw a flag for delay of game. Owen came in and ducked two clotheslines, and then slid under Yokozuna and charged into him and bounced off. Owen then tagged in Savio. Yokozuna missed an elbow, but then did catch Savio and slam him. He then tagged in Kid. Lawler flirted with the Raw Bowl Queen at ringside.
At 12:00 Ramon edged Kid. Ted DiBiase then got on the ring apron. The ref threw the penalty flag. Sid then nailed Ramon and Kid covered him for the pin. Savio tried to call a timeout, but it was too late. The band then began playing. At 18:34 Yokozuna mistakenly squashed Owen. As Yoko tried to call a timeout, the referee counted to three on Owen. That left Sid & Kid vs. The Gunns.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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McMahon did the first tease of the Vader announcement saying we wouldn’t believe the major name who has been added to the Royal Rumble and mentioned The Huckster and Nacho Man again. Sid began working over Bart Gunn and scored a near fall at 20:10. Lawler suggested the crowd was so loud that Sid couldn’t hear Kid”s audibles. As Sid worked over Billy, he seemed kind of lost for what to do. Billy then began a comeback, but Sid stopped that hope spot with a chokeslam. Kid went to the top rope, but Ramon shoved him off the rope into Sid, Billy then covered Sid and scored the pinfall at 23:20…
-McMahon announced that Shawn Michaels would be making an announcement regarding his career status on next week’s Raw…
-In a two-minute drill (with a clock in the lower left corner of the screen ticking down), Dok Hendrix hosted a “Halftime” SlamJam segment previewing The Royal Rumble. Jim Ross was shown outside Diesel’s locker room, but was unable to get an interview with him on the air…
-Vince once again teased the bombshell announcement, but then aired a replay of the Henry Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsely match from In Your House…
-Diesel squashed King Mabel at 0:08 after a big boot to the face. After the match, Diesel jackknifed Mo and threw his vest at the referee. Diesel then walked away with the RawBowl Queen, “stealing” her from Lawler… Steve Lombardi tried to offer the “Lombardi Trophy” to the Gunns. They shoved him to the locker room floor and poured Lipton Tea (sponsor) all over him… Vader was shown as the bombshell entrant… The WCW board room meeting spoof aired…
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