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The following report originally published 10 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JANUARY 7, 2016
TAPED 1/5
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
[HOUR ONE]
-A video package aired on Roman Reigns beating Sheamus despite shenanigans by Vince McMahon as special referee.
-The Smackdown opening aired with the same music, unfortunately, to kick off the new season.
-Byron Saxton introduced the show as the camera panned the crowd. He touted that it’s the first time they’re on their new permanent home on USA Network. Jerry Lawler hyped Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Title and Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch for the Divas Title.
-They went to a closeup of Lawler at ringside. He introduced the “new voice of Smackdown and new face as well, veteran combat sports announcer” Maura Ranallo. Saxton shook Mauro’s hand. Maura said it’s not about him, it’s about the WWE Superstars.
(WK Reax: I like that they introduced him that formally and also acknowledged he is a veteran combat sports announcer. Interesting they used that term instead of just “sportscaster” or “veteran play-by-play voice” or even “veteran MMA announcer.” It’s also a great start that he said it’s not about him, it’s about the Superstars.)
-John Cena made his full ring entrance. He welcomed fans to the first Smackdown of 2016. He said he loves that Smackdown is on USA and then started a “U-S-A!” chant. He hyped the title matches. He said the one thing missing is their USA Champion, Alberto Del Rio. Boos. He said he is willing to give Del Rio a fresh start. He called him out by introducing him Ricardo Rodrigues style. Del Rio came out. Saxton noted that Del Rio might not be champ if not for help from the League of Nations two weeks ago in Cena’s rematch. Lawler said he was surprised Cena invited Del Rio to the ring. Saxton said he didn’t understand it.
Del Rio said he’s not going to give Cena another title shot. Cena played the USA card again. Del Rio wasn’t swayed. He told Cena to “sheht up.” He said he will fight anyone right here in Laredo except for Cena. Cena said if that’s the case, then someone else should get an opportunity, because USA is the land of opportunity. He called Kalisto to the ring.
(WK Reax: It’s a small thing, but kind of irritating. What was Kalisto doing just hanging out right by the entrance stage? Did Cena tell him that he was his back-up plan if Del Rio turned him down?)
When Del Rio stumbled asking Cena if he is out of his mind, Cena said he must be out of his mind because he can’t talk. Cena kept saying Kalisto and then Kalisto kept throwing his arm excitedly in the air. Del Rio asked if he thinks he can beat him, and called him “little man.” Kalisto said he’s going to beat him right now. Del Rio shoved his face and turned to point at Cena. When he turned back, Kalisto went on the attack and sent him to ringside with a leg scissors. Del Rio called for the bell, agreeing to the match. Ranallo said it’s not for the title, but Kalisto can put himself in the “pole position” for the title shot.
(1) ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. KALISTO
The match began 14 minutes into the show. Del Rio bailed out a minute into the ring. Cena stayed at ringside and observed, enjoying Kalisto’s early offensive flurry. [c]
Back and forth action for a few minutes, leading to Kalisto climbing to the “high rent district” (Mauro Translation Key: Top Rope). Kalisto went for a rana seconds later, but Del Rio caught him and powerbombed him for a two count. Del Rio described a blow to Kalisto’s throat as landing on his trachea and said it was to restrict his breathing and neutralize the high-flying Slammy Award Winner.
(WK Reax: It’s so refreshing to hear a little touch like that where the impact of the move is described precisely, and it’s effect on the human body identified.)
As Del Rio beat on Kalisto at ringside, Cena threw off his shirt and eyed Del Rio. Del Rio threw Kalisto into the ringside barricade. Back in the ring Del Rio was preoccupied with Cena, so when he turned back to Kalisto, Kalisto surprised him with a huracanrana for the win. Mauro called it a colossal upset and “the biggest win of his career.” Lawler called it a huge embarrassment for Del Rio. Kalisto celebrated with Cena on the stage. Mauro said Kalisto earned a title shot. Lawler, with a hint of going heel again, said he would maybe agree with that, but noted that Kalisto was very lucky.
WINNER: Kalisto in 7:00.
-They went to the announcers at ringside where Mauro pitched how easy it is to sign up. Saxton pushed the Royal Rumble being free for first-time subscribers. Then they pitched the Divas Championship match.
-Backstage as Lynch was warming up, Jo-Jo walked up to her and asked if she knows why her best friend attacked her so brutally on Raw. Lynch said she is her former best friend and tonight she wants vindication. She said she doesn’t want an explanation, she wants to take the Divas Title from her. She said the last time she beat her it was friendly competition, but this time it’ll be anything but friendly.
-Lawler plugged Miz TV with a Royal Rumble special format. [c]
-Mauro threw to Miz for the Miz TV segment. He said on Monday night, Mr. McMahon shocked the world by putting the WWE Title on the line in the Royal Rumble match. He was interrupted by New Day. Miz looked perturbed. New Day marched and gyrated onto the stage wearing their unicorn horns. They apologized for the interruption, but said they’re there to take exception to some of the nasty things Chris Jericho said about them.
Xavier Woods said Jericho stole his “light-bright jacket which he technically stole from me if you go back and watch your old school NXT.” He said they party like it’s 2016, not 1999. Kofi Kingston said 2016 will be the year of the unicorn, at which point Dolph Ziggler interrupted. He is sporting a new look of all black and silver pants and shirt with a black headbands and frizzier and dry hair. Ziggler told Miz to go back to doing what he does best and leave the Rumble match alone. Goldust then interrupted and said Miz TV has become bizarre. He said only one Superstar can win the Rumble, and he will be glad to give them all a set of golden globes.
Miz was getting more and more upset. He said none of them are scheduled guests. Then Neville’s music played. Miz melted down. Neville said he has a promise for Miz. He said he can borrow his Slammy or anything as long as he promises to cancel this ridiculous show and will never ever talk ever again please. Ziggler said he likes that idea. Miz put his hand up and asked everyone’s mouths to go shut. He was then interrupted by R-Truth.
Miz was beside himself. Truth asked the WWE Universe “What’s up?” He told them all to step aside. I figured he was about to claim he never got eliminated from the Rumble last year, but instead he said he was going to answer Alberto Del Rio’s U.S. Title Open Challenge. Miz informed him there is no U.S. Title Open Challenge.
Truth was shocked and dismayed. He asked how he can get into the Rumble then. He asked if there is an entry fee. Miz asked if he would buy a clue if he gave him a dollar. New Day loved that. Xavier was chomping on popcorn. Truth said he won’t buy a clue, but he’ll buy this. Truth popped Miz with a mic. Goldust borrowed Xavier’s popcorn and Neville round kicked Xavier off his chair. New Day regrouped at ringside as they cut to a break. [c]
(2) THE NEW DAY & MIZ vs. R-TRUTH & GOLDUST & DOLPH ZIGGLER & NEVILLE
Mauro said the Miz TV segment was cancelled, but there’s an eight-man tag match instead. The action was joined in progress. Neville mocked Big E’s hip gyration and then did a standing moonsault onto Kofi mid-ring. Neville mounted Kofi in the corner and punched away at him. Xavier yanked Neville’s let as Big E distracted the ref. Kofi shoved Neville to the floor as they cut to a break at 4:00. [c]
After the break, New Day were triple-teaming Neville in the corner. They showed that during the break, Big E rammed Neville into the ringside barrier. When Xavier grabbed his trombone, Saxton told Mauro to get ready. Mauro said he has nothing on Harpo or Groucho Marx. That’s as dated as a reference gets, I think. Miz did an obnoxious dance to the trombone. Mauro said he’s heard of wardrobe malfunctions, but this is a musical malfunction. Neville finally hot-tagged Ziggler at 10:00. Miz also tagged in. The pace picked up. Ziggler hit a Fameasser for a near fall. Interference led to eight-way action. Miz ended up alone against three opponents mid-ring. He tried to escape, but Goldust threw him into a Ziggler superkick for the win.
WINNERS: Ziggler & Goldust & Neville & R-Truth in 11:00.
-Afterward, Ziggler kicked Neville and then tossed Goldust out of the ring. He said he was sorry to Goldust, but in the Rumble, it’s every man for himself.
(WK Reax: Good to see Ziggler give himself a makeover. Not sure if it’ll make a difference in his push, but he needed an update.)
-Mauro plugged the IC Title match.
-Backstage Ric Flair told Charlotte she looks awesome. She smiled and said she always looks awesome. Jo Jo approached Charlotte and asked for her comments. Flair interjected himself and said people want to leech off of Charlotte for her notoriety, just like with Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan. Charlotte said Becky has been a leech and she’s never been champion. She said her dad was a champion all his life and she learned how a champion acts from him.
-Saxton asked if Charlotte really claimed Becky has been leeching off of her.
-Charlotte made her ring entrance with Flair by her side. [c]
[HOUR TWO]
-They went to the announcers at ringside. Lawler said Mauro Ranallo doesn’t really roll off his tongue, so he asked if he could call him M.R., like he used to call Jim Ross “J.R.” Lawler then quipped that he’ll call Byron “B.S.” Saxton recapped the Charlotte turn on Becky, saying that Charlotte couldn’t stand having lost to Becky. Lawler, showing a little heelish edge, said if that’s Byron’s take, he’ll give his take in a minute.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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(3) CHARLOTTE vs. BECKY LYNCH – WWE Divas Championship
The match began two minutes into the second hour. Mauro said he called Lynch’s matches when she was just 18 years old in his native British Columbia. Lawler said this is WWE and she wants to be where Charlotte is, and she can’t do that being a namby-pamby and trying to be friends with everyone. Lawler said he crossed paths with Ric Flair a lot over the years, and overtime he was patting you on the back, he was looking for a place to stick the knife. Charlotte took a break at ringside at 4:00. Becky went after her, but Ric got in her path. When Ric stepped aside, Charlotte caught Becky with a boot to the face. Ric and Charlotte high-fived. Mauro said Charlotte’s behavior makes her a candidate for the Hall of Shame. Lawler chucked and said, “Please!” Lawler said he has been in the ring many times he never expected to be friends with him. He said Ric told him he loved when the crowd was against him. With Charlotte in control at 6:00, they cut to a mid-match break. [c]
Charlotte was ramming Becky’s head into the mat over and over with her knees after the break. Lynch lifted Charlotte onto her shoulders and dropped her with a snake eyes onto the top turnbuckle. Becky made a full comeback with a series of clotheslines and and a kick. She charged into the corner and said she’s as on fire as her hair color and “is ready to do some ass kicking here on Smackdown.” Saxton said Becky is starting to taste victory and the championship. Lawler said Ric looks a lot concerned. Charlotte came back with a neckbreaker for a two count and then a quick one count afterward.
Charlotte landed chips, but Becky countered into a backslide attempt. Charlotte reversed it, but Becky flipped out of it, ducked a boot, and then delivered an exploder suplex for a near fall. Charlotte comeback with a spear after grabbing the ropes to escape an armbar attempt. When she set up the figure-four, Becky countered with a small package for a two count and then an arm breaker. Charlotte lifted Becky by her strap, but Becky countered into a rollup. Becky grabbed Charlotte’s hair and applied a Disarm-her.
Ric pulled Charlotte’s foot onto the bottom rope. Charlotte tapped, but the ref said Charlotte’s foot was on the bottom rope first. Becky yelled at Ric, and Becky rolled up Charlotte for a three count. Mauro, outraged, said, “You’ve got to be kidding me! Becky should be the rightful WWE Divas Champion!” Lawler told him to calm down because he shouldn’t have expected anything else. Flair and Charlotte celebrated and “woo’d.”
WINNER: Charlotte in 13:00 to retain the WWE Divas Title.
-They went to the announcers at ringside. Saxton was dismayed as they discussed the match that just concluded, and then shifted to previewing the IC Title match. They commented on the angle on Raw that set up the match. Mauro said, “Revenge is a dish best served with a side of elbow!”
-Renee Young interviewed Dean Ambrose backstage. He asked for a minute of his time. Owens tapped her watch and said she has one minute, barely tolerating her. She asked if he is feeling any effects from Dean putting him through a table on Monday night. Owens said he is a world class athlete and nothing will stop him from taking back his title. He said he’s called Dean a cockroach and they say cockroaches can survive anything, but he said in his years in wrestling, he’s had to stay in some pretty terrible places and had to kill quite a few cockroaches, and cockroaches can’t survive him, and neither can Dean Ambrose. He said he’s taking his title back tonight. He looked at her watch and said time is up.
-Saxton plugged a recap of the big Vince McMahon announcement on Monday night was coming up next, plus there’d be word from Roman Reigns. First, they threw to Quentin Tarantino, director of “The Hateful Eight,” who introduced a preview of his movie after saying hi to Smackdown viewers. [c]
-A commercial aired for Total Divas including John Cena saying, “We can talk about marriage” to Nikki.
-Back to the announcers, Mauro said they can’t wait to hear what is going to happen at the Rumble. He threw to the McMahon announcement. Saxton shook his head in disgust. The recap aired. Back to ringside, Mauro called it an earth-shattering announcement. That’s a bit of an overstatement. I was mesmerized by what Mauro did with the pencil in his hand as he spoke.
-Renee’s “WWE.com Exclusive” interview with Reigns aired. Roman said the McMahon family is trying to burn him down, but they’re just firing him up, and when the smoke clears he will be the last man standing as champion. Believe that.”
(WK Reax: That script is just awful and it’s why a lot of fans see Roman as a programmed corporate robot just repeating what he’s told to say hoping to get rich. It’s just cheesy and doesn’t sound authentic, and authenticity is probably as important a piece that’s missing from Roman as anything in his act.) [c]
-Renee interviewed Dean backstage regarding his upcoming IC Title defense. He was all fidgety and wound up. She asked what they can expect of him tonight. He said Owens threatened to drive him to an asylum to get back the IC Title, and Owens has put him through tables and bounced steel off of his back and hit him in places he didn’t even know he had places. He asked if his face looks pretty well-adjusted to her. Renee nodded. Owens said Owens talks about being a prize fighter, and the IC belt is the prize, “so let’s fight.”
(WK Reax: Much better, edgier, serious version of Ambrose. More of that, less of the zany ha ha stuff.)
-Owens’ ring entrance took place. Owens stared down a kid extending his arm as he walked right past him. Mauro said, “So much for all Canadians being polite, aye?” Lawler then said, “Bizarro World!” Who didn’t call that ahead of time? When Dean entered the ring, they went face-to-face right away. Then came formal ring introductions from Eden Stiles.
(WK Reax: Does Eden Stiles get to coexist in WWE with A.J. Styles?)
(4) DEAN AMBROSIA vs. KEVIN OWENS – Intercontinental Championship match
The bell rang 38 minutes into the second hour. Mauro hoped no one got slammed through the table on his first night in. Owens bailed out after an early Dirty Deeds attempt by Ambrose. They cut to a break. [c]
(WK Reax: I know why they do it, but I’d like to have seen the new Smackdown have a policy of not cutting away from matches in progress. There’s no other TV show I know that breaks away from contests, action-scenes, or really anything in progress like this. It sends this message over time that diminishes the sense that what goes on inside the ring matters since the breaks are arbitrary and frequent. What would it say about any other sport or an action scene in a movie if they routinely cut away in the middle of the action. Either that, of have Smackdown matches formatted in five minute rounds so there was a natural break for commercials to be inserted without missing action.)
Back from the break, Owens was chopping Dean in the corner. Dean encouraged more chops, then turned the tables and kicked away at Owens in the corner. Mauro said that reminded him of Steve Austin. He said he’s also been compared to “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. (And Dick Slater and Brian Pillman.) Mauro brought up Dean’s Cincinnati Bengals facing the Pittsburgh Steelers game on the weekend and used the term “smash mouth” to describe Dean’s offense. Owens mocked Ambrose’s teeter-totter on the middle rope, then went after Dean at ringside. Saxton astutely pointed out how that showboating and mocking gave Dean time to recover. Dean reversed Owens into the ringside barrier. Dean leaped off the ring apron onto Owens at ringside. The ref counted to six before Dean threw Owens back into the ring. Owens DDT’d Dean and they broke away again. [c]
Back to the ring, Owens had Dean in a chinlock. They showed a clip from during the break of Owens landing a running flip dive into the barrier. Mauro said, “Talking about Bowling for Dollars.” You have to be 44 years old to get that reference, I think. Owens went for a running cannonball, but Ambrose lifted his boot and gave Owens a tornado DDT for a near fall. Owens knocked Ambrose off balance on the top rope, then landed the cannonball. Ambrose kicked out. Mauro, refreshingly, isn’t saying “it’s over” right before sickouts.
Ambrose countered a pop-up powerbomb into a rana and then the Lunatic Lariat for a near fall. Dean knocked Owens to the floor and then dove through the ropes at him. Mauro had to clear away as Owens rolled onto the table and to the floor. Dean stood on the table, then went after Owens at ringside. Owens threw Ambrose into the ringside steps. Ambrose tossed Owens into the crowd, then stood on the ringside barrier and dove at him. The ref counted them both out.
WINNER: Double countout in 19:00. (***1/4)
(WK Reax: Really good match start to finish. Tough to ever give as confident of a rating to any match where seven minutes are carved out for two commercial breaks. It was the right finish for this stage of the feud.)
-They brawled onto the stage and Mauro noted it was ruled a double countout.
(WK Reax: It’s so sad that Mauro saying that is noteworthy, but so often over the years announcers don’t actually announce the finish. Mauro, by the way, also enunciates both “W’s” in WWE patiently and articulately, unlike his boss!)
Owens bashed Dean with a laptop near the production area. Referees implored Dean to stop because “the match is over, the match is done.” When Owens set up a move on the rolling crates, Dean backdropped out of it. He stood and pounded his chest as four referees ordered him to stop. Dean ended up knocked Owens off the crates and they both flew through some tables below. With both down and not moving, the camera zoomed in for close-ups as the show ended.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Really good edition of Smackdown. I liked that there were just four matches, two of them appropriately hyped title matches, each given ample time. Mauro was tremendous and absolutely added to the enjoyment and engagement of what was happening inside the ring. Two good main event matches, a fun set up for the eight-man impromptu tag, and the Cena-Del Rio interchange was good too.
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